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cover art for Joe van Niekerk leads us in a guided meditation of enlightenment and all things Rugby Championship.

Kick Offs and Kick Ons

Joe van Niekerk leads us in a guided meditation of enlightenment and all things Rugby Championship.

Season 1, Ep. 30

This week on The KOKO Show we take you on a necessary journey of self-discovery and spiritual enlightenment. We are joined this week by a man that consistently played footy at the highest level and then after retirement decided to live at an even higher one. He has played 52 caps for the Springboks and he was the ‘legend face’ of Toulon Rugby, a man that draws you in with his warmth and unwavering energy, it is of course the father of flow and the patron of ‘pura vida’, Mr Joe van Niekerk. In this week’s episode the KOKO Crew get taken in a slightly different direction, we delve into the trials and tribulations of life after footy and what it means to find your ‘self’ post retirement.


With all that being said we still found time to dish you up a “succulent Chinese meal” of TRC content as we break down the Wallabies second defeat at the hands of the Green Machine in Perthfotein. Plus, we have a little gander at how the All Blacks took Los Pumas to the Garden of Eden and showed them how the big boys play. On top of all this yummy podtent, MYER is back in the fold presenting you with another deliciously fashionable instalment of ‘Match Fit’ and our dear friends at MANSCAPED AU allowed swoop to go hammer and tong at Biv’s bits.


So find your flow, open up your mind's eye and let this white light podcasting excellence fill your every orifice. This week we are aligning your chakras, whilst derailing everything else. It’s time for Kick Offs and Kick Ons.


TIMECODES - 1 min 10 seconds

00:00 - Start of the show

01:56 - Boks Office collab recap

02:41 - Introducing the boys

05:00 - Weekend recaps

08:39 - Live Show plug

10:20 - Defender and IHG plugs

13:15 - Wallabies v Springboks review

20:04 - ‘KOKO Match Review’ plug

21:27 - ‘Match Fit’ brought to you by MYER

27:19 - Introducing Joe van Niekerk

30:24 - Joe getting inducted into the Toulon Hall of Fame

31:27 - Joe talking about becoming a dad

34:56 - Joe talking about the current Springboks

35:47 - The boys talk about playing with Joe in Toulon

38:05 - Joe talking about what it was like playing with Drew and Gits.

39:56 - Joe on finding his identity after rugby

45:37 - Joe talking about the difference between old Joe and new Joe

47:57 - The boys talking about how finishing footy is a challenge

51:59 - Gits wants to know which cartoon character Joe is attracted to

53:07 - The boys discuss their favourite rugby memories.

58:03 - Start one, bench one and drop one

59:19 - Joe’s advice to young rugby players coming through

01:01:30 - Joe’s current mindfulness workshops

01:07:15 - Is Aussie rugby using past players to help the current team?

01:11:09 - Saying goodbye to Joe van Niekerk

01:13:26 - Spring Tour expression of interest

01:14:40 - All Blacks v Argentina review

01:19:26 - Manscaped sponsorship segment ‘Back Burning by Biv’

01:25:35 - The KOKO Quiz - one question only

01:27:13 - Close of the show


Big thanks to MYER for their support and remember you can buy everything you saw on the show from you local MYER or online - https://www.myer.com.au


BUY YOUR KOKO MERCHANDISE RIGHT NOW - www.kickoffsandkickons.com


Make sure you follow us on all socials:


INSTA: @kickoffskickons

TWITTER/X: @kickoffskickons

YOUTUBE: @kickoffsandkickons

TIKTOK: @kickoffskickons


If you do want to talk about sponsorship or anything business related then please do get in touch with us info@shtn.com.au.

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  • 37. WE'RE BACK! The KOKO Crew return refreshed and reborn with a no guest nonsense.

    01:26:42||Season 1, Ep. 37
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  • 36. ‘BIG DELL’ delivers a world class performance as he takes KOKO for a spin.

    01:48:22||Season 1, Ep. 36
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  • 35. Springboks win the 2024 TRC at home and the All Blacks sweep up the Bledisloe Cup.

    22:21||Season 1, Ep. 35
    This week on ‘The KOKO Match Review’ the boys are up bright and early nursing sore heads and weary eyes to give you ‘ra ra’ roundup like no other. We will fine-tooth comb our way through Bledisloe two, where the All Blacks were pushed to the edge early by a brave and willing Wallabies team in windy Wellington. After getting off to a fast start this week the Wallabies mounted significant pressure, but when push came to shove, the points came a lot easier for the big brutal boys from the land of the long white cloud. The papers and social clips will read that the Wallabies went down two to nil in the Bledisloe Cup, but it is clear to the naked eye that our ‘Gangsters of Gold’ are putting in a ‘Schmidt’ tonne effort and are progressing nicely. With the TRC on the line it would be reckless of The KOKO Crew not to address the neat little treat in Nelspruit between the Springboks and Pumas. Although the Pumas had a snowflake's chance in hell to hold the TRC title in their sassy South American hands, it was the banging Boks in the end that got up really big for Eben Etzebeth in his record breaking match. The ‘Green Goblins’ of gritty rugby proved way too strong at home for the pedestrian Pumas, claiming their much deserved place at the tippy top of The Rugby Championship. So if you are rising slowly this fine morning muttering the words “Sundays are for Swoop” then throw on your coziest crotchless pants and listen to our dulcet tones to get you really hot and heavy. It is time for ‘The KOKO Match Review’. 00:00 - Intros02:18 - Springboks v Los Pumas12:07 - Wallabies v All Blacks20:49 - KOKO Beers for Sale - go to www.kickoffsandkickons.comBig thanks to MYER for their support and remember you can buy everything you saw on the show from you local MYER or online - https://www.myer.com.auCheers also to BeefEater for coming back on board with KOKO, please check out their websites to see their great selection of BBQ's, rangehoods and fridges.AUSTRALIA - https://www.appliancesonline.com.au/brand/beefeaterEUROPE - https://beefeaterbbqeurope.co.uk/pages/contact-usFinally a massive thanks to our new beer sponsor, Easy Times Beer Co. Check them out on their socials @easytimes.beerco and their website https://easytimes.beer/BUY YOUR KOKO MERCHANDISE AND TICKETS RIGHT NOW - www.kickoffsandkickons.comMake sure you follow us on all socials:INSTA: @kickoffskickons TWITTER/X: @kickoffskickons YOUTUBE: @kickoffsandkickons TIKTOK: @kickoffskickons If you do want to talk about sponsorship or anything business related then please do get in touch with us info@shtn.com.au.
  • 35. Stephen ‘Beaver’ Donald joins KOKO to discuss the Bledisloe nail-biter and Bok’s loss to Los Pumas.

    01:27:46||Season 1, Ep. 35
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  • 34. The Wallabies go very close against the All Blacks and the Boks are finally BEATEN by the Pumas.

    23:05||Season 1, Ep. 34
    This week in the ‘KOKO Match Review’ the boys peel back the layers on the All Blacks Bledisloe Cup victory in Sydney and they also have a little gander at top of the TRC tussle between Argentina and the Springboks. In James Slipper’s record breaking 140th cap for his country, it was the men from the land of the long white cloud that started fast against the wasteful Wallabies, stacking on the 21 unanswered in the first 15 minutes. Despite a brave and gutsy comeback from our ‘Gladiators in Gold’ in the second half, the early All Black rampage had us Aussies pushing ‘Schmidt’ uphill. It might be another ‘L’ in the results column for the Wallabies, but the KOKO Crew discuss at length the strengths and pitfalls of this young Aussie side heading into game two in Wellington.The fellas also find a morsel time to touch on the ‘Big Boy’ bout between Argentina and South Africa. In a match where the stakes were sky high for both sides in relation to their TRC title hopes, but it was the punishing Pumas that went full alpha and said “hold my Malbec”, as they tightened up the TRC race heading into the final round in Nelspruit. With the Bled locked up at Razor’s ranch and the TRC crown still up for grabs, it is time for the men of KOKO to bathe in the delicacies and nuances of our beautiful game, please enjoy another dose of the ‘KOKO Match Review’. Timestamps:00:00 - Hello and welcome 00:15 - Los Pumas v Springboks 07:42 - Wallabies v All BlacksBig thanks to MYER for their support and remember you can buy everything you saw on the show from you local MYER or online - https://www.myer.com.auCheers also to BeefEater for coming back on board with KOKO, please check out their websites to see their great selection of BBQ's, rangehoods and fridges.AUSTRALIA - https://www.appliancesonline.com.au/brand/beefeaterEUROPE - https://beefeaterbbqeurope.co.uk/pages/contact-usFinally a massive thanks to our new beer sponsor, Easy Times Beer Co. Check them out on their socials @easytimes.beerco and their website https://easytimes.beer/BUY YOUR KOKO MERCHANDISE AND TICKETS RIGHT NOW - www.kickoffsandkickons.comMake sure you follow us on all socials:INSTA: @kickoffskickons TWITTER/X: @kickoffskickons YOUTUBE: @kickoffsandkickons TIKTOK: @kickoffskickons If you do want to talk about sponsorship or anything business related then please do get in touch with us info@shtn.com.au.
  • 34. Aaron Smith is quick to the breakdown on KOKO serving up delicious nuggets ahead of Bledisloe one.

    01:33:22||Season 1, Ep. 34
    This week on The KOKO Show we set the scene for round five of the TRC, bigging up all things Bledisloe Cup and how the Wallabies can leave a hypothetical bag of flaming Schmidt on the All Black’s doorstep. Despite the Trans-Tasman tussle being the centerpiece this weekend, we also give the Argentina v South Africa title race match a little love, debating whether the prancing Pumas have what it takes at home to pull down some silky Springbok slacks.In order to enhance all this glorious rugby chat we have enlisted the help of one of the greatest Kiwis to ever do it. He might be small in stature but boy was he big in the ‘pain in the arse’ department, he is the puny punisher from Palmerston North and the Herculean halfback who broke Aussie hearts for fun. Please welcome our favourite little deep fried delicacy Mr Aaron ‘Nuggy’ Smith. On the show, Nuggy breaks down what it's like watching the All Blacks from afar, how he sees the Bledisloe Cup panning out and lifts the lid on the terrifying fact that his International playing days might not be over.With all this manic footy preparation surrounding the KOKO Crew we spare a little time to show MYER our major sponsor some love with a perfectly curated, elegantly electric and decadently drenched mixed bag ‘Match Fit. Plus, we welcome back our meaty mates from BeefEater and the lads issue a big thanks to our new beer/mothers milk provider Easy Times Beer Co out of Brisbane.On top of all this fiscal fanfare we fill this fallow week with three new spectacular segments which include, ‘Sundays are for Swoop’, ‘Get fit with Gits’ and ‘Dear Drew: The KOKO Hotline’. So sit back, lather yourself in coconut oil, sit in the sun and sizzle in the serenity of our podcasting putridness. They say there is nothing healthy about our show, but fuck me it is always a wild ride. It’s time for an all new Kick Offs and Kick Ons.TIMECODES - 00:00 - Start of the show 03:09 - Shout out to MYER04:03 - Introduce the boys 14:00 - We have a beer sponsor thanks to Early Times Beer Co.20:07 - Rugby Roundup Part 1 - Argentina v Springboks preview and predictions30:43 - Match Fit brought to you by MYER49:08 - Introduce special guest Aaron Smith55:19 - Rugby Roundup Part 2 - Australia v New Zealand preview and predictions57:51 - Aaron’s opinion on the current All Blacks01:08:44 - Start, bench and drop with Aaron Smith01:12:27 - Aaron’s prediction for Bledisloe one01:22:39 - The Wallabies returning to the squad - Paisami and McReight 01:23:38 - The boys predict the result of Bledisloe one.01:27:47 - Super Sizzler brought to you by BeefEater01:31:40 - Close of the show   Big thanks to MYER for their support and remember you can buy everything you saw on the show from you local MYER or online - https://www.myer.com.auCheers also to BeefEater for coming back on board with KOKO, please check out their websites to see their great selection of BBQ's, rangehoods and fridges.AUSTRALIA - https://www.appliancesonline.com.au/brand/beefeaterEUROPE - https://beefeaterbbqeurope.co.uk/pages/contact-usFinally a massive thanks to our new beer sponsor, Easy Times Beer Co. Check them out on their socials @easytimes.beerco and their website https://easytimes.beer/BUY YOUR KOKO MERCHANDISE AND TICKETS RIGHT NOW - www.kickoffsandkickons.comMake sure you follow us on all socials:INSTA: @kickoffskickonsTWITTER/X: @kickoffskickonsYOUTUBE: @kickoffsandkickonsTIKTOK: @kickoffskickonsIf you do want to talk about sponsorship or anything business related then please do get in touch with us info@shtn.com.au.
  • 33. Wallabies HUMILIATED by Los Pumas, the Boks do it again and KOKO welcomes in the Hello Sport boys.

    01:25:30||Season 1, Ep. 33
    This week on the KOKO Show we got down and dirty with Australian content royalty, Tom and Eddy from the Hello Sport Podcast were kind enough to open up their studio and minds to be used and abused by this poor excuse of a show. We talk about everything from the seasonal nature of rosé, the correlation between sports administration and dumpling consumption and the current standing of Union in the Australian sporting landscape. There is nothing quite like talking footy fables with new friends, all while sipping on a tangy little tequila.Plus, the boys break down the medium rare Argentinian ass whooping the Wallabies received over in Santa Fe, pulling no punches as they unpack why we sucked, how we sucked and who sucked the most. However, on the other side of every World Record pride pounding there sits the victor and boy didn’t those Argies turn up the heat on our Aussie lads, until they were done like a dinner. Alas, as Australians, we get back on the horse, we go again and we try not to let the All Blacks make it 68-27.Despite being an Australian show, it would be remiss of us not to debate the big dog duel between South Africa and New Zealand. It was the footy version of Foreman v Ali, Swoop v the elusive feature and Gits v saturated fats, minute to minute this grind of a match proved in the end why the Springboks are World Rugby’s benchmark.So if you are a Wallabies fan and you are feeling a little down, a touch blue and you are onto your third bottle of Savvy B, we just say don't sweat the small stuff, the nation always needs a tidy right after the Schmidt hits the fan. So pick up the baby wipes, arm yourselves with windex and press play on the KOKO Show. Let’s clean up Australian Rugby together! It’s time for Kick Offs and Kick Ons.TIMECODES00:00 - Start of the show00:50 - Introduction05:22 - Introduce the Wallabies07:35 - Introduction for the Hello Sports11:29 - Hello Sport gives The KOKO Show podcasting tips12:49 - Sports admin, dumplings and the fact that Peter V’landys is a seafood guy15:20 - How union and league went different directions in 200317:36 - Rugby union pokie machine idea20:49 - The boys talk about how Aussie rugby is growing22:48 - Why don’t people like seeing a national rugby team do well27:09 - The tough mentality of other teams in World Rugby28:37 - Do we need more league players in rugby union?36:30 - Which cartoon characters are you sexually attracted to?40:21 - The shared love for dad jokes and the hatred for public speaking45:22 - Sydney Live Show plug46:04 - Hell Sport guys depart46:13 - Reflecting on the chat with the Hello Sport guys57:08 - The boys having a crack at Swoop for not doing the ‘Match Review’49:59 - Drew shows off the new merch51:24 - Match Fit brought to you by MYER54:42 - Rugby Roundup - Argentina v Wallabies review01:09:55 - Rugby Roundup - South Africa v All Blacks review01:17:49 - Other International rugby scores01:18:56 - The KOKO Quiz01:23:53 - Thanks to MYER01:24:17 - Socials plug and close of the showBig thanks to MYER for their support and remember you can buy everything you saw on the show from you local MYER or online - https://www.myer.com.auBUY YOUR KOKO MERCHANDISE RIGHT NOW - www.kickoffsandkickons.comMake sure you follow us on all socials:INSTA: @kickoffskickonsTWITTER/X: @kickoffskickonsYOUTUBE: @kickoffsandkickonsTIKTOK: @kickoffskickonsIf you do want to talk about sponsorship or anything business related then please do get in touch with us info@shtn.com.au.
  • 32. Wallabies WORST ever defeat! Springboks beat All Blacks again.

    23:34||Season 1, Ep. 32
    The Wallabies fell a long way short in Santa Fe against Los Pumas, unable to double down on their gritty win in the rain last week. The injury embattled ‘Boys of Gold’ got completely and utterly outplayed by the hosts in the second forty, as the Pumas piled on the points for fun. Plus, we also touch on that Cape Town ‘crunch-a-thon’, as the lads from the land of the long white cloud lose two on the trot to the blistering Boks. In a week where Australia stands as one to congratulate James Slipper for tying George Gregan’s all-time Aussie caps record, the ‘KOKO Crew’ are here right after the action to give you some hot takes, juicy tips and tangy touchpoints all wrapped up in a comprehensively disappointing review of some toe tickling Test Footy. Despite the early start on our end, the lads promise they are only three bloody marys deep and they are ready to rock your rugby related senses all morning long. So if you are up at the crack of dawn buffing an chiseling that slinky summer bod or just soaking in some self-blame from a Sunday morning walk of shame, just forget the world, pop two nurofen and wash it down with a good swig of luke warm KOKO. That’s right, it’s time for another dose of the ‘KOKO Match Review’.
  • 32. Bryan Habana flies by The KOKO Show for the very 'first' time ever.

    01:31:31||Season 1, Ep. 32
    This week on The KOKO Show we dive right back into the magical ecosystem that is The Rugby Championship season, nourishing our bodies with a gritty ‘Top Schmidt’ Wallabies win and nibbling on the big dog battle that saw the Springboks prevail over the All Blacks. With so much mouthwatering footy on the menu, it is only right that we pick both carcasses clean, like the analytical vultures we are. With the Wallabies well and truly back in the winners circle the lads bathe in the radiant aura of victory and boy it does it feel good. This episode Swoop was loud, Biv had his finger on the pulse, Gits was happy and Prof was Prof, giving you our beautiful fans a well rounded trip through the unforgiving yet always rewarding tundra that is International Rugby. Plus, to help us deliver this sensory overload for your eyes and ears, we were joined by one of the greatest to ever lace them up. He is the Joburg Joker, the tip-toeing tech tycoon and the only bloke that can make racing animals and planes for money look cool. It is of course our South African sidekick Mr Bryan Habana. With Spring now sprung and the mercury rising, the boys in partnership with our beautiful friends at MYER give our fashion focused fans a little taste of what to wear in warmer months in another mixed bag ‘Match Fit’. So flip out your shopping channel deck chair, get that coconut oil in all of your deepest crevices and soak up some springtime sun, with your four favourite flogs nattering in your head. It’s time for Kick Offs and Kick Ons. TIMECODES:00:00 - Start of the show04:48 - Shout out to MYER05:57 - Intro the boys 07:46 - Spring Tour plug 08:33 - Weekend recap and Shute Shield Final recap11:56 - Sydney Live Show shout out14:17 - ‘Match Fit’ brought to you by MYER21:01 - Rugby Roundup part 1 - Argentina v Wallabies43:37 - Fat Man Scoop tribute 45:57 - Agustin Creevy tribute for his last game47:50 - Introduce Bryan Habana 54:29 - Rugby Roundup part 2 - South Africa v New Zealand 55:58 - Bryan on the Springbok’s fearless character57:55 - The boys showing Kwagga Smith some love59:38 - Bryan talking about his connection with the current team01:02:41 - This Springbok team is bringing the nation together01:05:00 - Which cartoon character was Bryan attracted to?01:05:58 - Bryan on Joe van Niekerk 01:08:22 - Bryan’s arrival in Toulon 01:09:26 - Bryan on the current All Blacks side01:13:57 - Bryan on the Springbok’s questioning the Wallabies integrity 01:18:00 - The KOKO Quiz01:23:57 - Start one, bench one and drop one - Bryan Habana edition01:25:30 - Close of the show Big thanks to MYER for their support and remember you can buy everything you saw on the show from you local MYER or online - https://www.myer.com.auBUY YOUR KOKO MERCHANDISE RIGHT NOW - www.kickoffsandkickons.comGET YOUR TICKETS TO OUR LIVE SYDNEY SHOW HERE - https://events.humanitix.com/thekokoshowMake sure you follow us on all socials:INSTA: @kickoffskickons TWITTER/X: @kickoffskickons YOUTUBE: @kickoffsandkickons TIKTOK: @kickoffskickons If you do want to talk about sponsorship or anything business related then please do get in touch with us info@shtn.com.au.