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The Ideally-Daily Podcast with Jumbled Sunshine
Parenting with Random Intentionality - IDP009
Today's podcast ended up being a huge boost to my day as I considered the long-range effects of random best efforts, consistently applied over time. If you're frustrated with the daily "drudge" of parenting and feel like your efforts aren't making any difference, this message is for you!
Shownotes and Links:
Here's the podcast I was listening to this morning that sparked today's thoughts about random intentionality (such a fun concept!):
"A Slob Comes Clean 014 Husbands and Decluttering Podcast" https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/2013/12/014-husbands-and-decluttering-podcast/
Here's a related blog post by Dana White that I referred to in today's podcast:
Family Pick-Up Time (Or The Benefits of Random Intentionality)
Definitions:
"Randomness is the lack of pattern or predictability in events.[1] A random sequence of events, symbols or steps has no order and does not follow an intelligible pattern or combination." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randomness
Intention is a mental state that represents a commitment to carrying out an action or actions in the future. Intention involves mental activities such as planning and forethought. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intention
Intentionality is a philosophical concept and is defined by the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy as "the power of minds to be about, to represent, or to stand for, things, properties and states of affairs." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intentionality
My definition of random intentionality as it relates to parenting:
Random intentionality in parenting is having a long-range view of the values you want to teach your children, and striving to teach those consistently over time in a variety of fun and ever-changing ways. Remember that inconsistent intentionality is ever so much better than no intentionality at all.
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I love this poem that I heard when I was a child.
Dee Groberg
"THE RACE"
“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!” they shout at me, and plead.
“There’s just too much against you now, this time you can’t succeed.”
And as I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
My downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
And hope refills my weakened will, as I recall that scene,
For just the thought of that short race rejuvenates my being.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race.
Or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
And fathers watched from off the side, each cheering for his son,
And each boy hoped to show his dad, that he would be the one.
The whistle blew, and off they went, young hearts and hopes afire,
To win and be the hero there was each young boy’s desire.
And one boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
Was running near the head, and thought, “My dad will be so proud!”
But as he fell, his dad stood up, and showed his anxious face,
Which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win the race.”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit, that’s all,
And ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
His mind went faster than his legs; he slipped and fell again!
He wished then he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”
But in the laughing crowd he searched, and found his father’s face,
that steady look that said again, “Get up and win the race!”
So up he jumped to try again, ten yards behind the last,
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to move real fast.”
Exceeding everything he had he gained back eight or ten,
But trying so to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently, a tear dropped from his eye.
“There is no sense in running more. Three strikes, I’m out, why try?”
The will to rise had disappeared, all hope had fled away.
So far behind, so error prone, a loser all the way.
“I’ve lost, so what’s the use,” he thought, “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.
“Get up!” an echo sounded low, “Get up, and take your place.
You were not meant for failure here, get up and win the race.”
“With borrowed will get up,” it said, “You have not lost at all.
For winning is no more than this: to rise each time you fall.”
So up he rose to run once more, and with a new commit,
He resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
Still he gave it all he had, and ran as though to win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he’d rose again,
Too far behind to hope to win he still ran to the end.
They cheered the winning runner, as he crossed the line first place.
Head high and proud and happy, no falling, no disgrace.
But when the fallen youngster crossed the finish line last place,
The crowd gave him the greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last, with head bowed low, unproud,
You would have thought he won the race to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad, he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me you won!” his father said, “You rose each time you fell.”
And when things seem dark and hard, and difficult to face,
The memory of that little boy helps me to win my race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all,
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!” they still shout in my face.
But another voice within me says: “GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!”
----------------------------
Here's a fun dramatized video based on "The Race":
Love it!!! 😍😍😍
Have a wonderful weekend!
~JS~ 🌞
#FamilyFriday
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30:15||Season 2018, Ep. 7References and Links:Halle Brothers, ClevelandFox Valley, IllinoisEvolution of the KeyboardThe Loop - Downtown ChicagoMarshall Field and Company Building, Chicago1971 - Ray Tomlinson develops the first program that can send email messages, via the Arpanet, between people using different computers. (From Timeline of Computing 1950 to 1979)Speak and Spell ToySpeak and Spell!! Did any of you have one?Photo Credit: CC BY-SA 4.0Microwave Ovens1971 - Sears begins selling Kenmore microwave ovens.Image Credit: Kenmore ChronologyCassette TapesBeta Max and VHS - Format War!Grease - The Film 1978Grease - Iconic movie of the 70sPhoto Credit: IMDBAtari Home Video Game System - Released September 1977Space InvadersAsteroidsPac ManBatavia Boo Boo Days (Later renamed Batavia Windmill Festival)Original Atari Video Computer SystemPicture Credit: Public DomainHope you enjoyed this week's Tech Tuesday podcast!~JS~ 🌞#TechTuesday* * *Stay Tuned for Next Week's Podcast: Tech Memories - Teenager of the Eighties!6. Chronic Illness and a Disappointing Dental Disaster IDP006
18:34||Season 2018, Ep. 6Are you dealing with chronic illness? I hear you. I have been there myself. I still have issues that I'm dealing with, but thank goodness I have found some relief in remission for the past several years. But if I could go back and give myself something to latch onto and to hope for, I would tell myself the following:Hang on! No matter how hopeless and frustrating things may feel, please trust that things will get better. But don't just wait for that day. Do the best you can today, this hour, this minute, with the situation you are in. Just do what you can, forgive yourself for what you can't, and try to press forward with an attitude of gratitude for the little things that do go right today. And know that you are still valuable, loved, and useful to society and your family, even with all the challenges that you have. Be grateful for the good days, no matter how few and far between.That is the advice I would give myself if I could go back and reach out to the suffering version of me that couldn't hardly get out of bed some days and felt frustrated and in pain. It's so hard though, and I know that it can seem impossible to even move forward for another minute. But you can do this. And it will get better. ~JS~ 🌞 #WellnessWednesdayI'm excited about today, because it is wellness Wednesday, and there is a topic that I've been wanting to talk about for a little while, and I actually went back and was looking over my blog this morning, to find if I had any posts about it, and I couldn't find anything, and I'm sure that there's something there. But, I wanted to talk just a little bit today about chronic illness, and then I want that to springboard into just sharing a funny story with you, from several years ago, that I found in my journal, that I should have totally made into a post, but apparently I never did, so today, its going to become one.So, chronic illness. The reason I wanted to talk about this briefly is I just wanted to share a little bit of my journey through some health issues that I had, and hope that maybe that can connect with some of you who might be out there still dealing with issues related to chronic illness. And, I just remember through this time, when I was struggling so much with my health, you know, just not being able to do all the things that I used to do for fun and enjoyment, and to make my life meaningful, and I really had to find new ways to contribute.So, long story short, on another day I will tell probably the whole story, but long story short, basically sometime after my sixth child was born, I started having some major health issues where I just ... I mean, it was like chronic fatigue, pain ... Anyway, it ended up being diagnosed briefly for a while as probably just fibromyalgia, which of course means that ... A lot of times it means that they can't figure out exactly what's going on, but you have the symptoms, so that's a whole other podcast right there.But, later, a few years after that, I ended up being diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, which is when your immune system is attacking your joints and your skin. So, if you've heard of psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis is psoriasis but then also that immune system is not just attacking your skin, which is the psoriasis, but it's also attacking your joints, which is the arthritis part of it.So, I never did end up suffering any visible joint damage, however, so we're totally, maybe a little bit unsure of whether that's really what was going on, but long story short, for about three years, I was being treated with pretty heavy-duty medications, trying to get my immune system to calm down, and I just ... And I still had life going on. You know, I had seven kids by the time all that was going on, and my youngest being like preschool aged, and my oldest in high school, and it was just still a very busy time for me.Luckily, I was blessed that my husband was, you know, working, and I didn't need to at the time, and so financially, we were doing okay, but health-wise, there were days when I spent most of the day in bed, and I would get up, and I would start to ... You know, I'd get dressed or whatever, and then I just kind of made like a little desk on my bed, and I would sit in bed with my laptop, and that's kind of when I started getting into a lot of different online things. For a while, I did some web designing for people and things. I just had to find stuff that I could do that wasn't physical stuff, because I was in so much pain, like just swelling and stuff, that I couldn't really do like normal household tasks very easily. So that was a longer version than I was planning to share, but I know you're really surprised right? Probably not.But anyway, the point is that I had this time period where things were pretty rough, and for whatever reason, and by the grace of God, I was able to go into remission with that illness, I don't even know how many years ago now. So it's a little bit in my distant past, and to the point where sometimes I forget that there are people out there that are struggling every single day, just to put one foot in front of the other, and to do the very, very most basic things, and I just wanted to put, I guess, a plug out there, and some empathy for anybody going through those kind of issues, and just encourage you to just keep going, and to try to find ways that you can still contribute with your new situation.It honestly wasn't until I, like, 100% accepted my situation and said, "Okay, this is how it's going to be the rest of my life, so I'm just going to have to do the best I can," and I kind of like stopped fighting it, I guess, and accepted it. It was shortly after that, within the next year after that, that it went into remission. So, I don't know exactly all the reasons everything happened the way it did, and I'm always knocking on wood, worried that it's going to come back, and I still deal with fatigue and occasional more pain than should be normal for my age, but it's definitely taken a backseat.And, last week, I came across somebody's Instagram, who was posting about dealing with a major chronic illness, and just trying to make it through each day, and I was like, "Oh my gosh. I mean, how could I forget those years of struggle?" But, you know, I don't know. I just wanted to make a point to share that part of my story.For those of you who are like, "Well, it's easy for you to be happy and cheerful, because your life is perfect," you know? It totally isn't. As a matter of fact, I started [inaudible 00:06:37], the blog, when I was in the middle of a lot of those issues, so I just discovered that you know, I would feel like, "I am such a terrible mother. I cannot make dinner for my family. You know, I'm laying in bed. I should be out there cleaning the house, and helping take care of my family."And I had to learn to be like, "Hey," to one of my kids, "Hey, let's sit down here together and you show me something cool on the computer," or, "Let's have a show that we watch together," or, "Let's read a book together." I had to find other ways to be a good mom than the ways that I had traditionally thought I had to act to be a good mom.So, if you are dealing with any of these kind of situations, I just want to reach out and put a big hug around you, and tell you that it will be okay, and it might not go away when you want it to, or in some cases ever. But just enjoy the good days that you do have, and look forward to them, and just do the best you can on your bad days, and don't put yourself down. Because I guarantee you, if you have a good day, you're going to be up doing stuff. It's not that you're lazy. You are not lazy. You are suffering from illness, and that was another thing that was really hard for me during that time.Anyway, I just wanted to bring that up a little bit and then springboard that into a fun little story that I want to share with you that I came across. Journal Entry from Monday, April 04, 2011: Well, this morning I woke up a little groggy and slow, so after getting dressed, eating some Rice Krispies, and saying goodbye to the children, I settled into my "bed workspace" with my laptop to tackle all the email that has built-up over the weekend. I clicked on "email game" because I've found that's a great way to buzz through the email quickly, feeling challenged to deal with every single email without skipping any. I was just getting on a roll and feeling really good about my accomplishments, when my husband, Lonny, came in and said, "Don't you have a dentist appointment at 9am?" ARG! I had completely forgotten. Last night as I was looking over my calendar I realized that I had the appointment, but this morning it was erased from my mind! Another reason to make sure and LOOK at the calendar FIRST THING every morning, right? So, I jumped up quickly since it was already 8:30am and it takes about 20 minutes to get over to the dentist's office. I really needed a bath because my hair was disshelveled and greasy, but there wasn't any time for that. I put it into a hopeless ponytail, low on my head since I would be laying back in a dentist chair. Then I grabbed my baggy jeans and a comfy long-sleeve shirt so I could look half-way decent but still be comfy during my dental work. Last week I went to the dentist and learned that I was going to need a tooth totally redone - I think he said a cap. A portion of it had broken off a couple of months ago, and while it had alarmed me at first, it didn't hurt at all, so I thought it might have been a piece of dental work, not the actual tooth. Considering our efforts to save money right now, I just kept putting off going in. SO - now that I knew the truth (it was real tooth broken off, with dentin showing - the dentist couldn't believe I hadn't felt any pain!) and the tooth was cracked, I had some major dental work. So he had postponed my cleaning and said I could so it when I had my regular dental work done, which I was very happy about because the cleanings are so uncomfortable, it would be nice to have the gas for that. Anyway - so we were rushing around and I was wishing I hadn't taken my pain meds yet because I wasn't sure how they would react with dental gas, and thinking to myself, OH WELL! I also had the thought occur to me that it was odd that they hadn't called to let me know that my appointment was today. They nearly always make a reminder call on the morning of your appointment, or the night before if it's a really early one. But I brushed it off, after all, there wasn't time to call. Lonny was driving me because I am always really groggy for far too long after they stop administering the nitrous oxide, and I don't think it's safe for me to be driving myself home. We drove over there quickly, arriving about 10 minutes late. There were tree branches broken and laying all over the sidewalk in front of the building. I guess all that snow that dumped on us yesterday was particularly hard on Dr. Rees's trees. We stepped over the branches and the extension cords to the power tools that a worker was using the clean up the mess, and entered the office, panting and stomping our feet. The clerk looked up at me, as did the hygienist, and they both had quizzical looks on their faces. Usually they say, "Hi Erika! How are you? Dr. Rees will be ready in a minute." I had a fleeting thought that I was in a dream, but shook it off and walked up to the desk. "Hi - I have an appointment at 9am. Erika Ward." She looked at her computer and typed a few things, then weakly said, "okay. . . well, I don't have you on the schedule for this morning. Let's see. . . it looks like I have you at tomorrow morning at 9am." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! The only thing I can say is that I'm glad I hadn't had to get a bunch of toddlers ready to go with me and then dragged them all over there. I wish I had listened to that still small voice that kept putting little thoughts in my mind about calling to check on the appointment. Oh well. Lonny sweetly said, "Well, at least I got to spend half an hour holding your hand while we drove." Is he the best or what?~JS~ 🌞#WellnessWednesday5. Modern Technology - A Blessing or a Curse? IDP005
21:02||Season 2018, Ep. 5On today's podcast, I talked about feeling grateful for the technology in our lives and how it's helped shape the world around us. I really want to reach out to those of you who maybe have grown up with technology around you, or have seen it come into play as you were already an adult, and you've seen the rise of technology. Maybe some of you are pretty excited by technology, and just love the things that it can do in your life. Maybe some of you are a little bit intimidated about technology or it confuses you, or even a little bit scared by it.Surrounded by TechnologyAll of us are surrounded by new technology in today's world. Even if you live in an underdeveloped country in Africa, you've probably got a cell phone, and you probably can get on the internet. In my household, we are not wealthy by any means, we're very average Americans. But even so, we have technology surrounding us. We counted up one time and there were something like 11, 12, 13 computers in our house. I can't remember if we were just counting laptops and desktops, we may have been also counting cell phones and tablets, also. But it was still just crazy. How can we have that many? I remember when you would save up just to get your one computer for the whole family. But we aren't alone.A Two-Edged SwordSometimes today it feels like people tend to just talk about the addiction to technology and the problems with technology. Everybody's like, "I hate social media," while at the same time, almost everybody's still using it. We're kind of having this negative vibe in the world about technology right now, but at the same time, we've all been so blessed by it. In reality, it's a two-edged sword.On one hand, technology enhances and simplifies our lives. On the other hand, it can make it so complicated. I think of something as simple as the fact that in my husband's job, since he works with teams that are in nine different countries, all around the world, he can be on Skype, talking to people in Ecuador, at 9:00 in the morning. Then, at noon, he's emailing with somebody that's in Africa, and toward the afternoon, he's maybe having some kind of a discussion with somebody in Nepal. That's amazing and would not have even been possible a couple decades ago! Yet now, it doesn't even really seem like that big of a deal, because we've all sort of gotten used to it. We don't acknowledge how much technology has blessed our ability to communicate and connect with one another.Challenges of Modern TechnologyI think sometimes we tend to just look at the challenge of it. And there's no question that there are challenges. For instance, in my husband's case, he sits down to answer a simple email, or to send off a quick document, and the computer tells him that it's rebooting the system, or it's upgrading something, and it just won't work how it's supposed to. So a simple two minute task takes more than half an hour.Like last week, I could feel he was a little bit frustrated, working here from the home office. I was like, "Is there anything I can do to help?" He's just like, "You can help me by keeping me from taking an ax and just destroying this computer!" It's like the very technology that helps us so much also can hinder us. So lately, I've just been thinking about that a little bit and trying to figure out how we can best interact with technology, because we know that it helps us, but we know that it can also challenge us.Blessings of TechnologyI think it's important that while we are aware of the challenges of technology, we also acknowledge how it has improved our lives. Here's a little simple one. A town near me actually got some kind of award for having some of the best traffic signals in the country. It was because they've timed the traffic signals to work with the flow of traffic, depending on the time of day, so that if you are going the speed limit through this very busy part of town, and you're following along, right around at the speed limit, you will hit all the lights green as you go through. Maybe there's this series of 12 or 13 stoplights, but you will only maybe hit one or two of those as you're going along, because they have timed it to help the flow of traffic. At the same time, it will pause and let the other direction go still very regularly. They've just timed it so well, and that's pretty cool.Before the modern advances of technology, this would have been impossible. Just think about something that simple, and yet we don't appreciate it! We just complain when we hit the one red light. We don't think about the fact that a couple of decades earlier, out of those 13 stoplights, we would have been stopped at maybe 10 of them. We get through that very busy part of town during a busy time of the day in a really smooth fashion. There's a very simple way that technology has helped our lives.Right now, we have a huge surge in technology to help with our health, including wearable technology that you can use to monitor your heart rate, and to help you keep track of your steps, and how many calories you're burning. I mean, it's just getting better all the time. It's helping our lives to be healthier in that way.It's a Whole New Work WorldI think one of the biggest things where technology has helped us is allowing people to work from their homes and work around their personal lives. It can be a danger, because technology is around you, so you can be sitting in a room full of your entire family, and you can all just be messing around on your devices and not even have a good conversation. That is definitely a danger. We need to be aware of it and think about it, when sometimes you look up, and you're like, "Hey, we're all on our devices. Hey, let's all put down our devices and play a game." You know, of course we need to be looking for that and being cautious of that.At the same time, my husband can work from home several days of week because of technology, because if there's an important meeting in the office, he doesn't necessarily have to be there in person, because he can join in on a video call. He can work from his desk and sometimes be more effective at home, because he doesn't have coworkers asking him to do things. He can actually just focus on getting his own work tasks taken care of.I can work from home, also. I do transcription, I do closed-captioning at home, and I work for several other freelance companies where I do some different web consulting and things that I could not do from home. I am sitting here right now recording a podcast that I don't know if it will ever be a profitable business, but it's definitely a passion project of mine, that I could be reaching somebody in France that's listening to this, at some point. I don't even know who's going to listen to it, but it could be anybody. So many people throughout the world. I'm just sitting in my bedroom with a good microphone and a connection to the internet.It is just amazing how we can connect, and how we can be more productive, and the ways that we can be more creative in the way that we make money, and the way that we live our lives. It's all because of the advancement of modern technology.Don't Jump on the "Negative About Technology" BandwagonToday, I just wanted to give a little plug about that, about, just be aware of the conversations that go on about you about technology, because it's kind of like everybody tends to jump on the "be negative about technology" bandwagon. We need some technology advocates out there! Yes, technology can be challenging, but it also blesses our lives in so many ways. I didn't even scratch the surface.That is it for today. I hope that I helped you have just a little thought to look around yourself today, and look at how technology has blessed your life. Look at the gadgets you have. Maybe it's your dishwasher. Maybe it's the little light that flashes on in your car to let you know that you need to put oil in it. Maybe it is noticing that several stoplights in a row are green. I want you to look around you, and I want you to be grateful for the time period that you live in and think about how technology has blessed your lives, while of course always being cautious for how it can hinder our lives. Just being aware and being grateful for it.~JS~ 🌞