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From the Archives 68: Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean (1973)

Season 1, Ep. 181
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In 1973, at the height of the Watergate scandal, a record label called "Mr. G Records" released the song "Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean," written by Bob Warren and supposedly performed by "The Creep," as a 45 single. The same track is on both sides, a typical comic song featuring barroom piano. Apparently, the song initially got some airplay, until listeners started complaining. Here are the lyrics:

We're Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean

The way we've been treated is really obscene

To think that a bug worth hardly a shrug

Could end up by getting us tossed in the jug


We all got the gate for no reason or rhyme

You'd think we'd committed some horrible crime

Our minds may be dirty, but our hands are clean

We're Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean


We're Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean

Our job was to see that the White House stayed green

We might have had flaws, like bending the laws

But God only knows it was for a good cause


There's no power shortage where we were concerned

And what little profit resulted, we earned

For lovelier fellows you never have seen

Than Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean


We're Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean

Our past has been fat, but the future looks lean

With backs to the wall, we're taking the fall

But dammit, we only robbed Pete to pay Paul


Just when we getting to be well-to-do

The Watergate turned into our Waterloo

And now everybody is out to demean

Poor Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean


Yes, we're Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean

We're perfectly willing to spill every bean

We've nothing to hide, with God on our side

He knows we were only along for the ride


But so it won't come as terrible blow

There's one little thing that we think you should know

Whatever we say isn't quite what we mean

We're Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean


Oh yes, we're Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean

Things won't be the same when we're gone from the scene

But people will still recall with a thrill

Our sell-out performance on Capitol Hill


It just isn't fair to take all of the blame

When all we were doing was playing the game

Now all of Washington's caught in between

Haldeman, Ehrlichman, Mitchell and Dean

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