Inside John Patrick Higgins

🎧 From the mind of John Patrick Higgins comes a sentimental and festive tail of heavy drinking and old age for the delight and delectation of the world... 🎧

Udo Von Eherhazi, the Count Bachwurst, was a hungry, undead kind of guy - and tonight was date night! But the years of sitting around his flat watching daytime television and waiting for the sun to go down might have taken the edge of off his revenant's fangs...

Paul Reverb is on a mission. He's 18, he's wearing eye-liner and he's just crashed the party. Sadly for Paul the party never notices: no one remembers the gatecrasher's name.

Jimmy Gemini just wanted to be a funny man. Sadly for Jimmy no one ever laughed, either with him or even at him. Until he found the book. After that everybody laughed. Jimmy slayed them.

Paul Holbrook had failed in life and now all he wanted to do was to drink alone at the bar and to despair. He couldn't even manage that, not once he had come to the attention of The Bad Ideas Man...

Paul is in the pub with his two oldest friends. But this is a story of male friendship - the worst kind of friendship - and the evening dissolves into drunkenness, confusion and an intimate encounter with the bar room floor.

James Town has a small problem but a bulging bank balance. So when he embarks upon augmentation surgery, against the advice of his doctors, he wants the creme de la creme... the fabled Narwhal procedure. (Contains adult themes, dear listener).

Wannabe writer Paul heads to his local cafe looking for inspiration. Instead he ends up babysitting a fellow patron's handbag. It is a job he takes very seriously...