Inner Skilled

Note: when I say I'm currently on retreat I recorded this reflection while on retreat (outside away from others)

(Ai assist:) In this conversation, Richard Tierney, a trauma recovery coach, discusses the importance of understanding trauma and mental health in children. He emphasizes that feelings and emotions should not be labeled as disorders but rather recognized as natural instincts. Richard shares his personal journey, insights on parenting, the role of spirituality in healing, and the need for supportive environments for children. He warns against the dangers of medicalizing mental health and advocates for teaching children to trust their instincts and express their feelings. The conversation highlights the importance of community, connection, and the responsibility of adults to nurture the emotional well-being of the next generation.0:00 – Introduction: Meet Trauma Recovery Coach Richard Tierney0:14 – Why Diagnosing Kids with Mental Disorders Is a Crime Against Humanity1:00 – Fight, Flight, Freeze: Your God-Given Instincts Are NOT Disorders2:50 – Teaching Children It’s Okay to Run, Hide, or Shut Down3:20 – The Impact of Parenting on Children’s Mental Health5:50 – Richard’s Personal Journey: Feeling Broken in a Loving Family8:53 – How Birth Experiences Shape Your Natural Stress Response11:57 – The Missing Fourth Response: Faith and the Role of Spirituality15:09 – Why Modern Mental Health Ignores the Soul and Healing the Past17:48 – Trust Your Instincts: It’s Okay to Hide in the Closet19:38 – The Global Mental Health Crisis: 290 Million Children at Risk20:46 – Practical Family Exercise: Practice Fight, Flight, Freeze & Faith Together23:11 – Removing God from Schools and Homes: The Biggest Mistake25:19 – The Power of a Simple Nightly Prayer Ritual for Peaceful Sleep30:41 – Lost Family Traditions and the Decline of Sunday as Family Day31:52 – Cultural Shifts: How Society Degraded the Family Unit35:40 – Bringing Instinct Training into Classrooms: A Teacher’s Role38:03 – Why Dissociation Is a Healthy Response, Not a Disorder43:13 – Adult Trauma vs. Childhood Responses: The Medication Trap46:43 – Richard’s Terrifying Experience Coming Off Psychiatric Medication51:08 – Asking God for Miracles: One Day (or One Hour) at a Time54:18 – Final Message to Parents: Protect Your Children, Teach Them to Speak Up58:00 – Richard’s Programs & How to Work With Him59:31 – Closing Thoughts: Look After the Children – They Are Our FutureReach him at richard@traumarecoveryanonymous.comBooks:trauma recovery anonymous: second edition https://www.amazon.com.au/trauma-recovery-second-richard-tierney-ebook/dp/B0DPM5N1FN/How To Live Stress & Anxiety Free, 24 Hours a Day https://www.amazon.fr/-/en/richard-tierney-ebook/dp/B0DNGLW129Takeaways:Children diagnosed with mental disorders are often misunderstood.Feelings and emotions are not disorders; they are instincts.Teaching children to express their feelings is crucial.Spirituality plays a significant role in healing.Coping mechanisms should be taught to children.The medicalization of mental health can be harmful.Parents must create a supportive environment for their children.Children need to learn to trust their instincts.Community and connection are vital for emotional well-being.We must prioritize the mental health of future generations.

Arizona-based LPCs Helene Zupanc and Beth Valdez talk their collaborative passion project: using "sticky note mantras" — short, personalized, humorous, or values-based phrases (drawn from CBT, ACT, songs, quotes, movies, and client creativity) — to interrupt negative thought loops, rewire neural pathways, and foster healthier thinking. They share personal stories: Helene's childhood OCD and early mantra use with her mom; Beth's inattentive ADHD and habit of collecting uplifting quotes/slogans for momentum. Key discussions cover why traditional affirmations often feel inauthentic (leading to toxic positivity or cognitive dissonance), the power of reframing (e.g., "This is my now, not my forever," "People are going to people," "This is survivable"), impermanence ("This too shall pass," urge surfing waves of emotion), not believing every thought (brain lies/shame-free negativity bias), humor/cognitive diffusion, body check-ins, and creating mantras that stick (personal ownership → generic positivity). We also get into meeting people where they are, handling naysayers/resistance, avoiding unsolicited advice, and building therapeutic alliance. The episode blends science (neural pathways, confirmation bias, negative bias), ancient wisdom (e.g., Buddhist impermanence, Rumi influences implied), and practical tools like playlists, sticky notes, and client-generated phrases.0:00 - Intro & Guest Welcome0:17 - Who Are Helene & Beth? Licensed Counselors & Mantra Mission1:20 - Backstory: OCD, ADHD & Early Mantra Use2:39 - CBT + ACT + Humor: Interrupting Thought Loops3:48 - Why Traditional Affirmations Fail; Permission-Based & Neutral Mantras5:16 - Beth's Quote-Collecting & Nike Inspiration for Momentum6:24 - Sticky Notes as Portable Cues; Client Co-Creation for Stickiness9:00 - Power of Language & Resonance; Paradigm Shifts When Ready10:21 - Ancient Wisdom Reimagined: Acceptance, Letting Go, Compassion11:23 - Authenticity Over Faking It: Aspirations vs. Forced Positivity13:35 - "Do Your Best" & Assuming Positive Intent15:16 - Mantra Examples: "This Is My Now, Not My Forever," "People Are Going to People"16:41 - Focus Determines Reality: Confirmation Bias & Gratitude Ties18:53 - Visual Mantras: Urge Surfing Waves of Emotion (ACT)19:57 - Your Brain Lies — Don't Believe Every Thought20:56 - Daily Check-Ins: Body Awareness & Redirecting Needs21:19 - Songs & Playlists as Powerful Mood Tools22:24 - Mantras for Parents, Boundaries & More Future Ideas24:26 - Handling Naysayers & Resistance in Therapy26:19 - Repetition & Evolution: Mantras Change Over Time27:03 - Unsolicited Advice Pitfalls & Building Rapport29:16 - Book, Website & How to Connect30:38 - Closing Blessings & FarewellKey Takeaways:-Thoughts aren't facts — question them; your brain lies without shame (negative bias as survival).-Mantras work best when personal, authentic, and flexible (e.g., "I'm open to moments of peace" vs. forced "I am peaceful").-Reframing shifts focus: What you focus on, you find (confirmation bias); reframe negatives positively (e.g., "People are going to people" for letting go).-Tools include humor, songs (e.g., "Float On" by Modest Mouse), visuals (urge surfing), sticky notes for reinforcement, and client co-creation.-Impermanence helps: "This is my now, not my forever"; ride emotional waves instead of drowning in them.-Authenticity over toxic positivity; do your best (varies daily); compassion even for lacking compassion.-Practical: Check body/feelings daily; use playlists for mood shifts; avoid "don't" phrasing (brain ignores negatives)https://www.amazon.com/Sticky-Note-Mantras-Choosing-Thoughts/dp/B0D2LV2797https://stickynotemantras.comhttps://www.facebook.com/stickynotemantrasbookhttps://instagram.com/stickynotemantrashttps://www.linkedin.com/in/helenezupanchttps://www.tiktok.com/@stickynotemantras6