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Inner Skilled
Sticky Note Wisdom: Authentic Mantras Over Affirmations for Real Change
Arizona-based LPCs Helene Zupanc and Beth Valdez talk their collaborative passion project: using "sticky note mantras" — short, personalized, humorous, or values-based phrases (drawn from CBT, ACT, songs, quotes, movies, and client creativity) — to interrupt negative thought loops, rewire neural pathways, and foster healthier thinking. They share personal stories: Helene's childhood OCD and early mantra use with her mom; Beth's inattentive ADHD and habit of collecting uplifting quotes/slogans for momentum. Key discussions cover why traditional affirmations often feel inauthentic (leading to toxic positivity or cognitive dissonance), the power of reframing (e.g., "This is my now, not my forever," "People are going to people," "This is survivable"), impermanence ("This too shall pass," urge surfing waves of emotion), not believing every thought (brain lies/shame-free negativity bias), humor/cognitive diffusion, body check-ins, and creating mantras that stick (personal ownership → generic positivity). We also get into meeting people where they are, handling naysayers/resistance, avoiding unsolicited advice, and building therapeutic alliance. The episode blends science (neural pathways, confirmation bias, negative bias), ancient wisdom (e.g., Buddhist impermanence, Rumi influences implied), and practical tools like playlists, sticky notes, and client-generated phrases.
0:00 - Intro & Guest Welcome
0:17 - Who Are Helene & Beth? Licensed Counselors & Mantra Mission
1:20 - Backstory: OCD, ADHD & Early Mantra Use
2:39 - CBT + ACT + Humor: Interrupting Thought Loops
3:48 - Why Traditional Affirmations Fail; Permission-Based & Neutral Mantras
5:16 - Beth's Quote-Collecting & Nike Inspiration for Momentum
6:24 - Sticky Notes as Portable Cues; Client Co-Creation for Stickiness
9:00 - Power of Language & Resonance; Paradigm Shifts When Ready
10:21 - Ancient Wisdom Reimagined: Acceptance, Letting Go, Compassion
11:23 - Authenticity Over Faking It: Aspirations vs. Forced Positivity
13:35 - "Do Your Best" & Assuming Positive Intent
15:16 - Mantra Examples: "This Is My Now, Not My Forever," "People Are Going to People"
16:41 - Focus Determines Reality: Confirmation Bias & Gratitude Ties
18:53 - Visual Mantras: Urge Surfing Waves of Emotion (ACT)
19:57 - Your Brain Lies — Don't Believe Every Thought
20:56 - Daily Check-Ins: Body Awareness & Redirecting Needs
21:19 - Songs & Playlists as Powerful Mood Tools
22:24 - Mantras for Parents, Boundaries & More Future Ideas
24:26 - Handling Naysayers & Resistance in Therapy
26:19 - Repetition & Evolution: Mantras Change Over Time
27:03 - Unsolicited Advice Pitfalls & Building Rapport
29:16 - Book, Website & How to Connect
30:38 - Closing Blessings & Farewell
Key Takeaways:
-Thoughts aren't facts — question them; your brain lies without shame (negative bias as survival).
-Mantras work best when personal, authentic, and flexible (e.g., "I'm open to moments of peace" vs. forced "I am peaceful").
-Reframing shifts focus: What you focus on, you find (confirmation bias); reframe negatives positively (e.g., "People are going to people" for letting go).
-Tools include humor, songs (e.g., "Float On" by Modest Mouse), visuals (urge surfing), sticky notes for reinforcement, and client co-creation.
-Impermanence helps: "This is my now, not my forever"; ride emotional waves instead of drowning in them.
-Authenticity over toxic positivity; do your best (varies daily); compassion even for lacking compassion.
-Practical: Check body/feelings daily; use playlists for mood shifts; avoid "don't" phrasing (brain ignores negatives)
https://www.amazon.com/Sticky-Note-Mantras-Choosing-Thoughts/dp/B0D2LV2797
https://www.facebook.com/stickynotemantrasbook
https://instagram.com/stickynotemantras
https://www.linkedin.com/in/helenezupanc
https://www.tiktok.com/@stickynotemantras6
Want to be a guest on Inner Skilled? Send Josh Dippold a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/innerskilled
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