cover art for Using Reflective Inquiry for Better Conversations with Marcia Reynolds

How Can I Say This...

Using Reflective Inquiry for Better Conversations with Marcia Reynolds

Season 2, Ep. 71

A coaching client recently reminded me of a truth that’s easy to forget: if you want to have a great conversation with someone, focus on trying to be interested, rather than interesting. And how do we demonstrate interest? We ask questions. But there’s more to it than that, and not all questions are created equal. Our question this episode: how can we use curiosity to make more meaningful connections with others? 

My guest is Marcia Reynolds, PhD, MCC. Her newest book is "Coach the Person, Not the Problem: A Guide to Using Reflective Inquiry." Your can learn more on the episode webpage at

Your feedback, ratings, reviews, and shares are welcome. Thanks for listening!

More episodes

View all episodes

  • 82. Claiming Space with Eliza VanCort

    As the vintage advertising for Virginia Slims cigarettes told women, you’ve come a long way, baby. Women have carved out a bigger seat at the table over the past 70 years. But we still have challenges when it comes to our voices being heard.Our question this episode: How can women claim their space through confident communication that also builds relationship? My guest is Eliza VanCort, author of “A Woman's Guide to Claiming Space: Stand Tall. Raise Your Voice. Be Heard.” This is an episode for women AND men who want to support the women in their lives!Hosted by Beth Buelow, PCC. More info and archives at Your ratings, reviews, and shares are appreciated. Thanks so much for listening!
  • 81. Pausing and People Pleasing with Alan Heymann

    There are lots of things that get in the way of our ability to successfully handle conflict. They often have to do with a limiting mindset, a leaning towards people pleasing, misidentifying the root cause of the conflict, or not creating a safe environment for feedback or different opinions. The good news is that there’s a lot we can personally do to remove those barriers. Our question this episode: What are some simple but powerful ways we can set ourselves up for better success when we get into conflict?My guest is Alan Heymann. Alan is a leadership and executive coach in the Washington DC area. He’s a communications and marketing veteran from the media, government, and nonprofit sectors, with degrees in journalism and law. He’s worn many hats, including being a reporter, anchor, editor and producer, spokesperson, business owner, activist and team leader. His entire career has focused on doing good in the world, by helping others grow. Hosted by Beth Buelow, PCC. More information and episode archives at Your reviews, ratings, and shares are appreciated! Thanks for listening and caring about courageous conversations.
  • 80. The Language of DEI with Arlene Koth

    Whether we’re aware of it or not, the past year has introduced most everyone to a new language. Words that we used in one context, such as equality, equity, diversity, belonging, and systems, are now taking on new meaning and are being used in new contexts. It’s not always easy to keep up, but for the sake of courageous conversations, it’s important we try. Our question this episode: how do we talk respectfully and directly about matters of race and privilege when we’re still learning the vocabulary?My guest today is Arlene Koth, Founder of OPC Consulting. Arlene has over two decades of HR management and organizational planning experience, nearly 20 years of nonprofit experience, and 15 years of C-suite/executive leadership experience. How Can I Say This… is hosted by Beth L. Buelow, PCC. More info and archives at Thank you for listening! Your shares, reviews and ratings are welcome.
  • 79. How to Talk to Strangers (Listener Question)

    We spend a lot of time thinking about how to have conversations with people we care about. After all, these are the relationships that have the biggest influence in our lives. But what if we spent as much time thinking about the conversations we have with strangers? Could there be new experiences we’re missing out on that would enrich our lives? Our question this episode: how do you start a conversation with a stranger that might serve as a lead-in to friendship?If you enjoy this episode, please share with friends, family and colleagues! Your reviews, ratings and subscriptions are also appreciated. Learn more about the podcast, read a transcript of this episode, and access the archives at Thanks so much for listening! ~Beth B.
  • 78. How are you? as a gateway to connection

    It’s a reflexive question most of us ask when we start a conversation, and it’s one of the easiest and most challenging questions to answer: how are you? Every time it comes up, I find myself hesitating just a little. This is especially true in the past year, when it feels like an extremely loaded question. Our question this episode: how far do you go when you answer, “how are you?”Hosted by Beth L. Buelow. Full episode transcript is available at Your reviews, ratings, and shares are welcome! If you have a listener question you’d like to have addressed in a future episode, use the submission form at Thanks for listening!
  • 77. Calming Your Nerves (Listener Question)

    It happens to all of us, no matter how many times we’ve been in a difficult conversation: we get nervous. We feel stress. That stress can show up in lots of ways: in our body language, breathing patterns, our seeming inability to put words together in a logical order. Even when we figure out what we want to say and how to say it, we can tie ourselves up in nervous knots. Our question this episode: how can you work through stress so that you can effectively engage in a difficult conversation?This episode features my response to a question submitted by a listener. If you have a question you’d like addressed on a future episode, visit for details. You’ll also find the transcript of this episode, plus archives of past episodes, on the site. Thanks for listening!
  • 76. Acknowledging the Good in the Bad

    How can I say this? When you have a day like January 6, 2021 in the United States, it’s hard to know what to say. It left many of us speechless, then enraged, mortified, and confused. When societal norms are violated in such a violent manner, words often escape us. And then we become unable to see the people we feel have violated us as our fellow human beings. We also can refuse to acknowledge those who do the right thing after long doing what we’ve felt is the wrong thing. Our question this episode: how can we keep our hearts and minds open when we feel cynical about another person’s sincerity?Hosted by Beth Buelow. Thanks for listening! More episodes on your podcast platform of choice or at Your shares, ratings and subscribes are welcome!
  • 75. The Art of Letting Go

    While every year has its ups and downs, 2020 will go down as an especially interesting year for lots of reasons. Our everyday vocabulary expanded to include words previously only used by doctors, lawyers, and politicians. And the conversations we’ve had with friends, family, and colleagues have challenged our understanding of what we thought was true. Sometimes, the new understanding leads to a re-evaluation of the relationship, or even a decision to call it quits. Our question this episode: how do we know when it’s time to let go of a relationship?Read a transcript of this episode at I look forward to more learning together in the coming year. If you enjoy what you hear, subscribe so you don't miss an episode, and share with friends, family and colleagues. Reviews are always welcome! Thanks for listening, and Happy 2021!! 
  • 74. How to have meaningful virtual conversations with Jennifer Britton

    For those of us that grew up with a rotary telephone glued to the wall and no answering machine, the idea of being connected 24/7 everywhere we go still has a bit of novelty to it. I still sometimes marvel that while I walk my dog or go on errands, I’m basically carrying the world in my pocket. That convenience can lead to complacency, which can compromise our approach to conversations that happen over and through advanced technology. Our question this episode: how can we make sure technology doesn’t interview with real connection?My guest is Jennifer Britton. Jennifer is passionate about working with teams and organizations around leadership, teamwork and performance issues, specializing in remote work, and virtual teams. Author of Effective Virtual Conversations and four other books. She is an award-winning program designer in the areas of coaching and mentoring. Co-host - Remote Pathways podcast. Master Virtual Facilitator and trainer of others in virtual facilitation.