Turns out almost everyone has a fantasy they've never told a single soul. This week Jay-Jay and sex &amp; relationship coach Mel Vranjes get into sexual fantasies; what's actually going on underneath them, why just talking about one can be almost as hot as living it out, and how to bring it up with your partner without causing a small relationship earthquake. Mel shares the research on the most common fantasies (group sex, power play, and being completely ravished all made the list), and we talk through how to find the feeling behind a fantasy so you're not stuck trying to recreate an exact scene from a book. Also in this episode: Jay-Jay's worst date story ever, the golden showers chat nobody asked for, why pegging makes so many people squirm and shouldn't, and a Pleasure Practice that's basically just permission to daydream a bit more. Topics: sexual fantasies, fantasy communication, kinks and power play, BDSM basics, intimacy and desire, couples communication, sex education, relationship advice How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> &amp; use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a>INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a>FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a>YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a>EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a>Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a> How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a> HOSTS:Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney</a> Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex &amp; Relationship Coach<a href="http://www.melissavranjes.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.melissavranjes.com</a>Instagram: @melissavranjesReady to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: <a href="https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school</a>

How To Bring Your Fantasies To Life

(Without Fear of Rejection)

Ever wanted to make the first move and just… froze? Initiating is one of the most vulnerable things we do, and almost nobody talks about how hard it is.This week Jay-Jay Feeney and somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get into how to initiate sex without the fear of rejection: why it can feel scarier than the sex itself, how to handle a "no" without spiralling, and the tiny shifts that bring desire back to life in long-term relationships. Inside this episode:<ul><li>Why initiating feels so loaded (and why long-term love makes it harder, not easier)</li><li>The one-word response to "no" that stops the shame spiral in its tracks</li><li>Mismatched desire; are you and your partner even speaking the same language?</li><li>Ovens vs gas hobs: why "preheating" outside the bedroom changes everything</li><li>Emily Nagoski's gateways into desire: play, care and curiosity</li><li>Real, low-stakes ways to initiate tonight: flirty texts, kissing, music, massage</li><li>Plus your Pleasure Practice DMs, including the "I was meant to be the submissive one" plot twist</li><li> </li></ul>Whether you're the one who always makes the first move, the one who's given up trying, or somewhere in between, this one's for you. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> &amp; use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a> INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a> FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a> YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a> EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a> Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a> How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a> HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex &amp; Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

How To Initiate Sex 

BDSM. Two seconds after hearing that word, most people picture whips, chains, leather, and some kind of expensive basement situation. (Just me? Okay, just me.) This week, certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down what BDSM actually is — and spoiler: it's a much wider, far less terrifying spectrum than you think. We cover:<ul><li>What BDSM really means (and what it definitely doesn't have to mean)</li><li>Why so many people are secretly curious about power play, restraint, and dominance, and feel weirdly ashamed about it</li><li>The psychology behind dominant people wanting to submit, and vice versa</li><li>How to go from "we've vaguely thought about this" to actually trying it, without a cringe disaster</li><li>The beginner's menu: easy, low-stakes things to explore first</li><li>Consent conversations that don't feel like a workplace health and safety briefing</li><li>Safewords, aftercare, and the mistakes people make, copying what they've seen online</li><li>And this week's Pleasure Practice to try at home</li></ul> Whether you're deeply curious, mildly intrigued, or just here to find out what all the fuss is about, this one's for you. Don't start with a whip and a prayer. Start here. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> &amp; use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a> INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a>FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a>YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a>EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a>Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a> How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a> HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex &amp; Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

How to Explore Beginner-Friendly BDSM

Porn. We're going there. Whether you watch it, your partner watches it, or you've never really thought about it, this episode is the honest, shame-free conversation you didn't know you needed. Jay-Jay and Mel explore why porn is so wildly popular, what your search history might (and might not) say about you, and the real question nobody asks: is your porn use helping, or quietly replacing intimacy in your relationship? This is sex education, not judgment. We cover:<ul><li>Why men and women consume porn so differently, and what women are actually looking for</li><li>The psychology of eroticism and why taboo fantasies make sense</li><li>Porn and relationships: when it's fine, when it's not, and what to do when you've just caught your partner watching it (Mel shares her story, and it's a good one)</li><li>The top-searched categories in 2025 and what that tells us about desire</li><li>How porn can actually rewire your body's arousal response, and make it harder to orgasm with a partner</li><li>Ethical porn: what it means, and where to find it (Erika Lust gets a mention)</li><li>Audio erotica, smut, and other ways to explore desire beyond visual porn</li><li> </li></ul>Mentioned in this episode: <a href="https://erikalust.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://erikalust.com/</a> for ethical porn, and if you want to listen to the best audio erotica, try <a href="https://www.tryquinn.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tryquinn.com/</a> or https://www.dipseastories.com/ Next week: BDSM.Subscribe so you don't miss a thing. And if this episode resonated, leave us a review. It genuinely helps. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> &amp; use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a> INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a> FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a> YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a> EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a> Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a> How To Have Sex is produced at PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a> HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex &amp; Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

How To Keep Porn From Replacing Intimacy 

Asking for what you want in bed might be the scariest thing you never do. Scarier than being naked. Scarier than asking for a pay rise. And for a lot of us, we'd rather go along with it, fake it, or hope they read our minds. In this episode, sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes and broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney get into the real reason we go quiet in the bedroom, and what to do about it. You'll learn:<ul><li>Why communication in bed is actually a courage problem, not a confidence problem</li><li>The worst time (and best time) to bring up a new request</li><li>How to frame what you want so it sounds like a connection, not a complaint</li><li>What to do when your partner shuts down</li><li>Scripts and examples you can actually use</li></ul> Whether you've been together forever or you're still in the honeymoon phase, this episode will help you stop hinting and start asking. Pleasure Practice: Build some courage. Pull the courage you already use outside the bedroom, and bring it in. How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> &amp; use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a> INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a> FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a> YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a> EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a> Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a> How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a> HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex &amp; Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

How To Actually Get Your Needs Met In Bed  (Without Killing The Mood)

Did you know your solo sex life is literally the foundation of your partnered sex life?In this episode, Jay-Jay finally figures out why this topic makes her want to crawl under the duvet and never come out, and it's more relatable than you'd think. Certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down everything women were never taught about self-pleasure: where the shame actually comes from, why we were never given this education, and how exploring your own body is one of the most powerful things you can do for your sex life, with or without a partner. We cover:<ul><li>Why female self-pleasure has been stigmatised for centuries (and male pleasure hasn't)</li><li>How self-pleasure builds body literacy and improves partnered sex</li><li>Why rushing is the biggest mistake most people make</li><li>How to diversify your pleasure and avoid being wired to only one pathway</li><li>Whether you can get "addicted" to your vibrator (yes, really)</li><li>Masturbating in front of your partner - hot or not?</li><li>How to handle mismatched libidos without guilt or obligation sex</li><li>Jay-Jay has an unexpected breakthrough on camera that stopped us both</li></ul>Plus Mel's pleasure practice for the week, and Jay-Jay's very honest response to it. Next episode: How to Get Your Needs Met in Bed (Without Turning It Into a Performance Review). How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> &amp; use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a>INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a>FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a>YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a>EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a>Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a> How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a> HOSTS:Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex &amp; Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjesJoin Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

How to Self-Pleasure (and Why it Will Change Your Partnered Sex Life)

Anal play. Butt stuff. The backdoor. Whatever you call it, more people are curious than will ever admit it. So this week, Jay-Jay and Mel are going there. Literally.Certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes joins a very nervous, very clenching Jay-Jay Feeney to unpack everything about anal and butt play, for all bodies and all genders. From the biology, to the beginner steps, to the stuff nobody talks about. In this episode:<ul><li>Why butt play is so taboo (and why that's changing)</li><li>The male G-spot (yes, the prostate) and why most men have no idea what they're missing</li><li>How women can experience orgasms from anal stimulation</li><li>The difference between external and penetrative play (you do NOT have to go all in to enjoy it)</li><li>Mel's three beginner techniques: The Doorbell, The Credit Card, and Circles</li><li>How to prepare properly, and why porn has got it dangerously wrong</li><li>The importance of lube, going slow, and communication</li><li>What NOT to do (don't cross-contaminate, don't use spit, and absolutely never surprise someone mid-sex)</li><li>How to bring it up with a partner without making it weird</li><li>Recovering from a bad experience</li><li>This week's Pleasure Practice (JJ's reaction is priceless)</li></ul> Curious but nervous? That's exactly who this episode is for.This episode is sponsored by Wild Secrets. NZ's premium pleasure destination. Use code HAVESEX for 20% off. Pleasure delivered. <a href="http://wildsecrets.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">wildsecrets.co.nz</a> SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a> INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a> FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a> YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a> EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a> Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a> How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a> HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex &amp; Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine. Pick up the latest issue to read it.

How to Butt Play (Without Making it Weird or Scary) 

Earth-shattering. It sounds ambitious, but Mel reckons it's not only possible, it's absolutely learnable. And it has nothing to do with performing, faking it, or wondering if you're taking too long.This week Jay-Jay and Mel go deep on orgasms; what they actually are, why they feel different depending on where they happen in your body, and why so many of us have been getting in our own way this whole time.In this episode:<ul><li>The difference between a clitoral, G-spot, A-spot, cervical and full-body orgasm</li><li>Why only 18-22% of women can orgasm from penetration alone, and what that means for everyone</li><li>Why your body shuts down at the worst possible moment (and how to stop it)</li><li>The oven vs gas hob arousal gap between men and women</li><li>How to get out of your head and back into your body</li><li>Why slowing down is genuinely the fastest route to a bigger orgasm</li><li>The somatic tools Mel uses with her clients: breath, movement, placement of awareness</li><li>Why crying after sex is a thing (and it's not weird)</li><li>How to create new orgasmic pathways in your body, including cervical orgasms</li><li>Mel's tip: check out https://www.beautifulcervix.com/see-your-own-beautiful-cervix/ if you want to actually see your own cervix (yes, really)</li></ul>This week's Pleasure Practice: Forget about the orgasm. Just touch your body for pleasure. In the shower, on the couch, wherever. Use breath, awareness and a little movement to build sensation. The orgasms will follow. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> &amp; use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a>INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a>FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a>YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a>EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a>Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a> How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a> HOSTS:Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex &amp; Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjesJoin Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.Pick up the latest issue to read it.

How to Have Earth Shattering Orgasms

This might be our most hilarious episode yet. In this episode of How To Have Sex, Jay-Jay Feeney and sex &amp; relationship coach Melissa Vranjes set out to talk about erotic activities, erotic energy, and how to bring more play, anticipation and aliveness into your sex life… and somewhere along the way, things descend into absolute chaos. There are tears. There is wheezing. There is a completely unhinged detour into animal play that nearly takes both hosts out. But underneath the laughter, there’s actually a really juicy conversation here. Mel explains that the erotic isn’t just about sex toys, lingerie, or trying to become some mysterious version of yourself. It’s about vitality, curiosity, self-expression, play, and creating moments that feel alive, exciting and connected.Together, JJ and Mel unpack how to break out of routine, why anticipation matters so much, and how to start exploring erotic activities in ways that feel fun rather than intimidating. This episode is full of ideas you can actually try, whether you’re a total beginner or ready to step a little further outside the box. In this episode:<ul><li>what the erotic actually means</li><li>why routine can flatten desire</li><li>how to bring more play and curiosity into your sex life</li><li>beginner-friendly erotic activities</li><li>more adventurous ideas for couples who want to mix things up</li><li>why sex does not have to be perfect or serious to be hot</li><li>and why laughing together might be one of the sexiest things of all</li></ul> You’ll hear ideas like:<ul><li>showering together with low lights</li><li>pleasure mapping each other’s bodies</li><li>sensory play with touch, temperature and massage oil</li><li>reading erotica to each other</li><li>feeding each other slowly and teasingly</li><li>erotic massage</li><li>undressing each other with intention</li><li>and yes… the now-infamous animal play conversation that sends everyone off the rails.</li></ul> Pleasure Practice: choose an inside-the-box or outside-the-box erotic activity and give it a go. Next episode: How to Have Earth-Shattering Orgasms. This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.Shop online at <a href="http://www.wildsecrets.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">www.wildsecrets.co.nz</a> &amp; use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…Pleasure Delivered. SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK <a href="https://hthspodcast.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://hthspodcast.substack.com</a> INSTAGRAM <a href="https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast</a>FACEBOOK <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast</a>YOUTUBE <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast</a>EMAIL <a href="mailto:howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com</a>Support the podcast! <a href="https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex</a> How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. <a href="https://www.podlab.co.nz/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.podlab.co.nz</a> HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media PersonalityInstagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex &amp; Relationship Coachwww.melissavranjes.comInstagram: @melissavranjes Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.Pick up the latest issue to read it.

How to Enhance Your Sex Life with Erotic Activities 

Getting you in the right position for sexual success

<h4>How To Have Sex is the sex education you never got at school, and have been quietly winging ever since. Hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. One very curious host and one expert who actually knows the answers. Every episode tackles a real topic: how to improve your sex life, how to talk about intimacy without killing the mood, how to have better orgasms, how to spice things up in a long-term relationship.... you get the idea. Shame-free, refreshingly practical, and occasionally so mortifying you'll need to pause it. New episodes weekly.</h4><h4> </h4><h4>Hosted by:</h4><h4>Jay-Jay Feeney - 30+ years in radio, trusted voice for Kiwi women.</h4><h4>Melissa Vranjes - Certified Sex &amp; Relationship Coach, featured in VOGUE &amp; GRAZIA</h4><h4> </h4><h4>Together, we combine humour and expert knowledge to normalise conversations around sexual wellness.</h4><h4>Breaking taboos. Building confidence. Supporting modern intimacy.</h4>

How To Have Sex

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