How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

How do you get your children to cooperate with you, when they just don’t want to?It’s a problem we all face - our kids will refuse to do something not because they don’t want to, but because we’re telling them to, and it’s so frustrating! So what’s the answer?In this bucket emptying episode, I’m going to introduce you to the psychology of cooperation, and give you some simple, helpful, and practical tips you can use right away.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:12 - Cooperation is transactional03:28 - Validate your children’s feelings04:47 - Explain why08:10 - Focus on effort and process10:55 - Self Care14:17 - Connecting actions to feelings16:08 - Challenge just enough19:18 - Offer choices where possible💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Does your child struggle with their confidence?Do you wish you could help?Well you’re in luck, because confidence is a learned skill, and there are many easy things you can do to help build self-confidence in your kids.In this episode, I’m going to give you a 10 day plan, which you can start using right now, to help develop those skills and improve confidence. Remember: the brain is a muscle, and confidence is just about giving the right parts of the brain a workout - from taking the lead on tasks to positive reinforcement, it’s easy if you know how!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:02 - One focus per day03:16 - The Seven Cs11:48 - Day 1: A wall of fame14:55 - Day 2: Encourage self-talk to be more growth oriented16:43 - Day 3: Ask for their help19:28 - Day 4: Give descriptive praise21:34 - Day 5: Reflective on 3 good things and 1 learning22:56 - Day 6: Set aside time to play25:46 - Day 7: Acknowledge their feelings27:06 - Day 8: Ask them to do something28:43 - Day 9: Stage appropriate choices29:46 - Day 10: Reflect on the last 10 days💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Do your children resent you?Do you resent your children?How good are you at managing this?Resentment is a funny thing. It feels like it comes out of nowhere, but actually, it can be the result of many small little events that build up and up until it overflows.Then, you find yourself arguing with your children, or worse, that resentment just continues to simmer, and it becomes harder to resolve.We’ve all heard that old saying that prevention is better than cure, so in this bucket emptying episode, I’m going to share some of the most effective ways you can avoid resentment, and give you some really useful tips to help you put these into practice.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:50 - Communicate your needs09:19 - Manage expectations14:15 - Learn how to delegate💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

On Christmas Day in 1986, 30 million Brits were glued to their screens as Eastenders’ Dirty Den handed divorce papers to Angie Watts, in one of the most watched television episodes of all time.As shocking as that was in 1986, the reality today is that separation is commonplace and 40% of marriages end in divorce. Many parents part ways, and often our children get caught in the crossfire, through no fault of their own.With January approaching, when separations are at their highest, how do we make sure our kids don’t suffer from our actions?And how do we ensure children grow up feeling happy, safe and loved when their parents divorce or separate?On this episode I am joined by James Hayhurst, the founder of The Parents’ Promise, which is doing some incredible work to campaign for more awareness of separation, and the resources to support children who are experiencing a separation at home.Whether you have separated, you are going through a divorce, or perhaps you experience this yourself as a child, this episode will really make a difference.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…More about James:The Parents’ Promise - https://theparentspromise.org.uk/ James on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jameshayhurst1/ Mentioned in this episode:17 Signs of Parental Alienation - https://www.parentingstyles.com/parenting/dynamics/parental-alienation/ Highlights from this episode:02:49 - What is The Parents’ Promise?05:31 - We can do better09:05 - We need to talk about divorce11:33 - What to be mindful of15:23 - What do young people think?19:21 - Long term goals22:49 - Bad partner does not mean bad parent27:01 - 17 signs of parental alienation30:28 - Move fast and create things37:02 - Get involved💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

From Elf on a Shelf and advent calendars to the business of seeing the whole family in such a short period… Christmas can be stressful, and it can be super overwhelming, especially for us parents.Santa doesn’t do organising for us, which means the holiday season is often wrought with so much pressure to get everything right, and so often we put that pressure on ourselves.So in this bucket emptying episode, I’m going to share five top tips to help you manage the upcoming festive season, which you can start using right now to make your holiday planning easier, stress free and successful!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:03 - The silly season04:19 - Plan ahead08:56 - Be realistic with yourself16:02 - Always have a backup plan18:50 - Don’t take things too seriously22:52 - Have the difficult conversations in advance💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Whether it’s toppled block towers, disappointing test results, or missed goals on the sports field, setbacks are a daily occurrence for our children, and I want to show you how to transform them into powerful opportunities for growth.This is about raising resilient kids who see mistakes not as failures, but as stepping stones.In this episode, I will share a practical framework you can use at home, and explain how you can use the exposure ladder templates in my resource library to break down those setbacks into small, easy steps.This is all about reframing challenges in a way that encourages confidence and curiosity, and helps your kids become the happiest, healthiest, and most successful version of themselves.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:24 - The full body alarm04:54 - Support, don’t solve06:36 - Positive praise10:29 - The power of yet12:55 - Exposure ladders16:06 - Creating a safe space to take risk18:40 - Practice is reflective too20:33 - Maryhan’s playbook23:00 - Sport, performance, and neurodiversity27:26 - Listener challenge💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

As parents, we worry. It’s in our nature!Are they safe?Are they hungry?Are they happy?The list goes on…But SPOILER ALERT: our kids worry too!The world is a scary place, and the world around them is constantly changing, with new things to learn and new experiences to process all the time.In this bucket emptying episode, I’m going to reveal the six most common things your children worry about AND I will share some super practical tips to help you deal with them. Because remember, your job as mum and dad is to support, and that means empowering our little ones to fix things themselves, so that they grow up to be confident, independent, and well-rounded adults.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this episode:Becoming Me - https://drmaryhan.com/episode/becoming-me-the-school-years/ Breathing & Take 10 - https://drmaryhan.com/episode/breathing-techniques-for-anxious-children/ Highlights from this episode:01:02 - Worry is an important emotion02:25 - Worried about social relationships06:21 - Worried about social media08:52 - Worried about big life changes11:09 - Worried about to-do lists15:45 - Worried about inconsistency19:14 - Worried about trauma22:03 - Name it to tame it23:46 - Deep breaths25:39 - Maryhanisms29:08 - A worry window💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Are your children currently revising for exams, working hard on an essay, or worrying about homework?Academic stress is very real, and sometimes the things we do to help, only seem to create more anxiety and overwhelm. So what can you do as parents, to help your kids through homework and revision?In this episode I’m going to talk through some of the things you must not do, and give you some super practical tips that you can start using right now.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:43 - This is the end goal03:57 - 3 things to avoid08:24 - Don’t feed the comparison Gremilins09:38 - Get the foundations right12:12 - Don’t get caught up on revision timetables14:55 - Where is the source of stress?19:34 - Big tasks into bitesize chunks22:40 - Break the procrastination cycle22:51 - Connect the dots💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Do you know the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown?Most parents think they’re the same, but they’re not!That’s why in today’s bucket emptying episode, I’m going to talk you through the key differences between what they are and how to manage them, because mastering this might just be the difference between a quick win and a sleepless night!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this Episode:You Child’s Bucket - https://drmaryhan.com/episode/help-your-child-with-emotional-regulation/ Highlights from this episode:01:07 - I want versus I can’t03:04 - Dealing with no05:33 - The different responses to a tantrum and a meltdown09:06 - Tantrums are for everyone11:32 - Not all buckets are created equal💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.