How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Outbursts, tantrums, meltdowns… whatever you call them, they’re not fun!But your kids are not hardwired to deal with their emotions, it’s a skill they learn over time, and it’s your job as parent to support them and encourage them to develop those skills.It’s not easy - I can attest to that, having raised two kids myself! And that’s why in this episode I help you understand what causes emotional outbursts, how these present themselves in different ages and stages, and what you can do to support them.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:59 - Fear of judgement02:32 - Emotional regulation is learned07:43 - Verbal and physical escalations10:35 - The teen years14:08 - The biggest causes of emotional outbursts18:23 - How to handle outbursts23:10 - Keep them safe27:17 - What is the skills gap?💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Did you know 1 in 3 children have little or no confidence?Did you know girls are more likely to downplay their confidence?And did you know that children from non-white and minority ethnic groups are likely to have less confidence than their white male friends?Today I speak to Kathryn McColl, co-founder of Hark, the education agency that delivers programmes to over 90% of UK schools. Hark recently published their Listen Up report, which collected anonymous data from 1,400 children across the UK to better understand what they call the ‘confidence crisis.’I drill down into some of their jaw-dropping insights, including the above, as we discuss why confidence appears to be on the decline among young people.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Connect with Kathryn:More about Hark - https://harklondon.com/ Get the Listen Up Report - https://harklondon.com/listen-up/ Connect on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathryn-mccoll-5a918329/ Highlights from this episode:02:32 - What is Hark?05:43 - Confidence means opportunity11:08 - The impact of role models15:11 - Transitioning from primary to secondary school21:46 - Friction teaches confidence27:09 - Post exam stress29:37 - Girls hide their confidence33:37 - The confidence ladder💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

From gentle parenting to FAFO, social media bombards us with content about the latest trends, so how do you really know what works and what doesn’t?In today’s bucket emptying episode, I talk you through some of the biggest parenting trends, and explain how they can be impacting you, and the ways in which you might then choose to parent your own kids.Because parenting is all-consuming. It’s a 24/7/365 gig, and the trends of day, whether we subscribe to them or not, can feel like they define us as parents. I’m here to tell you they don’t!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:48 - FAFO Parenting03:30 - Are we defined by the trends?06:23 - Labels take away the overwhelm09:56 - There’s no one size fits all approach12:35 - Parental intuition15:22 - Science vs media💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Mental health is not just a buzz word, and oftentimes it goes hand in hand with physical health. But because we can’t see mental health, as parents it can be so easy to procrastinate these important conversations that provide a safe, supportive space for our children to really get honest with us.Whether you’re listening to this during Children’s Mental Health week or at any other time of the year, these practical tips will really help you to kickstart conversations about mental health with your family.It might not be easy, and it might take some time, but I promise you if you persevere and remain patient, your kids will eventually feel comfortable enough to talk to you.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this episode:Children’s Mental Health Week: https://www.childrensmentalhealthweek.org.uk/ Highlights from this episode:01:15 - Physical health IS mental health03:41 - I’ve noticed that…07:17 - How are you feeling?10:30 - Use books15:09 - Teachable moments16:38 - Talk out loud18:46 - 3 things to consider💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

A sense of belonging is a basic human need. Without it can lead to loneliness, depression and many other mental and physical health issues.So to celebrate Children’s Mental Health Week, the theme of which this year is ‘this is my place’, I am going to give you five tips to help your children build their sense of belonging, because the world is a better place with them in it, and it’s our job as parents to help them believe that.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this episode:Children’s Mental Health Week: https://www.childrensmentalhealthweek.org.uk/ Attachment Theory: https://drmaryhan.com/episode/attachment-theory/ Highlights from this episode:00:28 - Children’s Mental Health Week02:21 - Attachment theory05:48 - Emotional availability09:27 - Help them to explore11:58 - Don’t diminish their interests14:05 - Belonging starts at home16:32 - You are important💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

From the 8 Plus to A-Levels, exams can be a stressful experience… often as much for you, the parent, as the kids.You want the best for them, and of course you want them to do well, but it’s important to make sure we create a supportive environment, and not inadvertently add to the pressure.That’s why, in this important episode, I’m going to talk you through the dos and do nots of navigating exam season, and give you a bunch of super practical advice, which you can use right away.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:26 - It comes down to two things03:17 - Stay in your own lane07:29 - How to overcome self-sabotage12:29 - Supercharge your revision17:12 - Talk to your children21:15 - A balanced routine includes time for fun24:23 - Rest and restore27:17 - Support ought to be directed by the child, not us30:37 - What not to do35:28 - Trust their process!💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In this bucket emptying episode, I look a bit closer at my conversation with Professor Sam Wass, who you may recognise from such TV shows as The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds. He is is currently Director of the Institute for the Science of Early Years at the University of East London.In last week’s interview he spoke to us at length about his research, but in today’s episode I want to drill down just a little more into some of his comments on emotional coregulation, and I’m going to share my own thoughts and some useful tips which you can put into action right away.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…More about Sam and his work:Website: https://www.profsamwass.com/ Useful research: https://www.profsamwass.com/tweet-threads/ Institute for the Science & Early Years of Youth: https://www.isey.org/ct-for-ey-and-schools Highlights from this episode:01:25 - Sam Wass on emotional coregulation07:00 - Stress contagion11:17 - Matching our children’s state14:24 - Meet them where they’re at💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Does your child ever get worked up, and you find it escalates super fast but feel powerless to bring them down from that ledge?Every parent has been there, but it’s only in recent years that we have really begun to understand the reasons why, and it’s all about neuroscience.Children’s brains are changing and developing all the time, which means as parents it can be so difficult to keep up, and know how to support them with things like emotional regulation, so I want to talk though some of these challenges and give you some practical advice that I hope will help you and your family.To have this conversation I am joined by Professor Sam Wass, who you may recognise from such TV shows as The Secret Life of 4 Year Olds. He is is currently Director of the Institute for the Science of Early Years at the University of East London, and shares some of his expertise, to help us all understand some of the science behind emotional regulation.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…More about Sam and his work:Website: https://www.profsamwass.com/ Useful research: https://www.profsamwass.com/tweet-threads/ Institute for the Science & Early Years of Youth: https://www.isey.org/ct-for-ey-and-schools Highlights from this episode:04:10 - Measuring brain stem activity08:08 - Nature versus nurture13:18 - Panic disorders17:20 - Long term effects of children in high stress states21:23 - Brain stem arousal is trending up25:29 - You’re only still when you’re dead31:25 - Children hate broccoli because of science35:18 - We’re going on a bear hunt42:33 - Quadrants48:00 - Mums and dads play differently53:29 - Co-regulating59:14 - Stress contagion💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.