How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

We all have an inner critic. Even us parents.In today’s episode, I explore one of the most overlooked but powerful ways to lighten your emotional load and quieten your inner critic.Modern parenting gives that critical voice endless opportunities to speak up - especially when we compare our behind‑the‑scenes chaos to everyone else’s curated highlight reel. I unpack why we’re so much kinder to our children than to ourselves, and why questioning your parenting isn’t a sign of failure but a sign that you care.Drawing on the concept of ‘good enough parenting’ and the growing research on self‑compassion, I share four practical things you can do to help shift your internal dialogue, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with the parent you want to be.If you’re tired of feeling like you’re falling short, this episode will help you breathe, reset, and treat yourself with the same kindness you give your children. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:29 - I’ve had enough of not enough02:03 - Comparison culture04:24 - Connection over perfection05:48 - 5 minutes of guilt free time07:28 - Change your mental soundtrack09:54 - Find your people11:12 - Sleep matters💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Hands up if you like homework…Me neither.But homework isn’t just a task to be completed. It’s a powerful opportunity to build persistence, resilience and independence in your children.Homework can so easily become a battleground filled with tears, avoidance and frustration, yet when we shift our focus from performance to process, everything changes. In today’s episode, I explore why the “how” of our support matters far more than the worksheets themselves, and why our job isn’t to rescue our children from discomfort but to create the conditions that help them start, stick with it and feel capable.You are going to learn how to tailor homework routines to your child’s needs, how to spot when avoidance is really anxiety or perfectionism, and how to use five practical strategies to transform homework from a nightly fight into a long‑term skill‑building habit.If homework has become a source of stress in your home, this episode will help you reset the dynamic with clarity and confidence.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:33 - Not just about the work03:52 - Focus on the how05:17 - Who’s homework is it?09:50 - How to support your child12:03 - Homework avoidance14:05 - Connection over correction17:09 - Praise the process20:49 - The bigger goal💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In today’s bucket‑emptying episode, I explore what it really means to live with parental guilt - that ever‑present tug that arrives the moment we become parents and never fully disappears.I talk about why guilt isn’t a sign that you’re failing, but a natural by‑product of caring deeply across multiple roles: parent, professional, partner, friend, adult child.Instead of treating guilt as a performance metric, I walk you through how to reframe it, define what “good enough” looks like, and create small proof‑points that remind you you’re showing up where it matters. I also unpack why work‑life balance is a myth, how to be fully present where you are, and how to avoid the comparison traps that intensify guilt.By the end of this episode, you will have a kinder, more grounded way to navigate the emotional weight of parenting, and a handy blueprint you can return to whenever guilt tries to take over. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:44 - Parental guilt happens all the time02:51 - Guilt is not a reliable metric05:28 - You can’t be in two places at once09:43 - Replace balance with presence12:39 - Build small proof moments15:55 - The uncomfortable truth💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Do you have more than one child?Are they constantly fighting for your time and energy?So how do you parent siblings?In today’s episode, I explore how birth order shapes your children’s development, behaviour, and long‑term identity. You’ll learn why research consistently shows firstborn advantages in earnings, IQ, and academic outcomes, and what sits beneath those patterns - from early illness exposure to diluted parental attention to the powerful “teaching effect” between siblings.I also help you unpack the hidden family roles your children adopt - the helper, the funny one, the responsible one - and how these labels quietly shape their confidence, conflict style, friendships, and even their future workplace behaviour.Most importantly, you will understand why each of your children is growing up in a completely different childhood, and how being aware of this helps you reduce friction, avoid unhelpful comparisons, and support healthier sibling relationships at home.With the tools and tips I share in this episode, you can start making meaningful changes today.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:00 - First borns outperform their younger siblings05:38 - Germ theory10:48 - The teaching effect12:59 - Siblings find their niche15:52 - Birth order impacts adult relationships19:07 - Family roles impact self-image22:04 - Every sibling has a different childhood26:27 - We compare ourselves all the time💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In today’s episode, we will explore how to help your child navigate life’s inevitable uncertainties, from exam results and friendship turbulence to school transitions and family change.You’ll learn why shielding your child from uncertainty actually weakens resilience, and how simple shifts in the way you listen, respond, and structure daily life can dramatically improve their ability to cope.I will walk you through practical tools you can use today: active listening that uncovers what your child really means, honest reassurance without false promises, emotional validation that calms the nervous system, and routines that restore a sense of safety when everything feels up in the air.You’ll also discover how to fact‑check the stories your child picks up from peers or online. and why managing your own emotional barometer is one of the most powerful supports you can offer, so that you feel equipped to guide your child through uncertainty with confidence, clarity, and compassion.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:01 - Uncertainty is a natural part of life03:55 - Listen first07:03 - Honest reassurance10:31 - Validate emotions12:30 - Acknowledge the challenge15:23 - Brains have a negative bias18:09 - Routine is important22:56 - Fact check26:21 - Help yourself to help your kids29:02 - Pay attention💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In today’s bucket-emptying episode, you’ll learn the three essential foundations your child needs before confidence can grow.If you’ve got a child who avoids challenges, gets overwhelmed easily, or insists they’re “rubbish” at everything, this is where you start. In this episode you’ll discoverhow to explain the mind–body connection in a way your child can actually understand,why their brain often misreads situations as danger, andhow this shapes their confidence.You’ll also learn why breathing techniques aren’t just “calming tools” but a physiological reset your child needs before they can face anything tricky.Finally, you’ll explore how to build an exposure ladder - a simple, structured way to help your child take small, doable steps outside their comfort zone.By the end of this episode, you’ll know exactly how to lay the groundwork so your child feels capable, prepared, and ready to try.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this episode:Boost Your Child’s Confidence in 10 Days: https://drmaryhan.com/episode/boost-your-childs-confidence-in-10-days/ 30 Second Reset: https://drmaryhan.com/episode/bucket-emptying-30-second-reset/ Highlights from this episode:01:24 - It’s all about experience03:31 - The connection between mind and body08:01 - Selective hearing11:41 - The invisible gorilla13:27 - Breathing techniques19:10 - Get the foundations right💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Today is my birthday, and it’s become a tradition of mine to reflect on life and what I’ve learned. So this year I’m reflecting in public, on the podcast with you.I am going to share my top ten parenting lessons, drawn from my own experience, about how to raise confident children.My two children are adults now, and I like to think I’ve learnt a lot over the years. I’ve gotten things right, and I’ve certainly gotten things wrong - we’re only human!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:13 - A birthday wish03:44 - Parents to adult children06:54 - Meal time is family time08:55 - A roast dinner goes a long way11:47 - Value systems are for life15:19 - This too shall pass18:36 - People pleasing22:27 - Comparison through a softer lens26:21 - Humans are complicated28:51 - Don’t take yourself too seriously💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

I talk a lot about confidence, because it’s super important, and it’s something we all struggle with - yes, even us parents!But a lack of confidence can manifest in so many different ways, it can be really tricky knowing how to spot the signs in our kids and support them through it.So in today’s bucket emptying episode, I’m giving you a cheat sheet, with five really powerful reflection questions you can use with any child at any age to help build their confidence.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:44 - Reflection builds competency02:34 - What was going on for you?04:48 - What were you feeling?06:37 - Focus on the unmet needs08:19 - Building a growth mindset09:55 - Encouraging self-regulation💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.