Hey Sailor! The Sailor Moon Podcast

Havana joins Minhdzuy & Omar as they hop into their next universe. The first strange thing they discover is that this universe starts their weeks not on Sundays, but on a second Monday! The universe is so dark that they realize there is no sun at all! The gang tries to start a band called Moon Chain. Minhdzuy plays the sexophone, a saxophone that works by fucking it, and Havana plays the tromboner, an instrument that works normally. Omar is the manager. They all decide that they should investigate the observatory. Who’s there but Havana’s dimensional counterpart? The gang suspects that this other Havana may be hiding this dimension’s sun. Havana makes out with herself. Minhdzuy and Omar murder the double. Havana has to stay in this dimension to take the place of the dead Havana. Bye, Havana!

Havana sees Minhdzuy & Omar pop into existence and becomes best friends with them, mostly because she doesn’t have friends on this planet. She shares how she can see things by smelling since she doesn’t have eyeballs. Minhdzuy & Omar try to leave immediately, but Havana manages to get them to stay by telling them about all the very beautiful and nice people. They stay! Omar flirts with Havana and tells a story about J. Montgomery, some person who built a plane before the Wright Brothers. Minhdzuy builds a fan and talks about that time when they issued a bunch of new quarters. Havana tries to add her own story but can’t think of anything. And it wouldn’t be an episode of Hey Sailor without gene splicing! Omar makes Ant-Cantaloupe hybrids and then Havana eats it, giving her the powerful sense of sight! What a miracle!

Minhdzuy and Omar find themselves in another library, but despite its similar appearance to the other libraries, they soon discover that it’s a non-shush library on a high school campus. They start to plan their entry into the Hollywood Fringe Festival once they make it back to their universe, but soon get distracted by Regina Spektor’s cover of While My Guitar Gently Weeps in Kubo and the Two Strings. Omar brutally attacks Minhdzuy for always singing Let It Be at karaoke. Outside, their Damien Chazelle call doesn’t work, but they observe that the high school looks very nice, unlike Minhdzuy’s alma mater, Wilson High School. Omar points out that it looks like Riverdale, with which Minhdzuy is completely unfamiliar. He confuses it both with UC Riverside, and Buffy’s Sunnydale, infuriating Omar, who finally explains the universe of Archie, Betty, Veronica and Jughead. Plus, they get into the rebooted universe of Home Alone 4, featuring French Stewart, and a McAlister divorce. The duo begins to notice how beautiful everyone looks, and Omar accidentally catcalls some highschool girls. When a mysterious murder is discovered, they take it upon themselves to solve it. It ends up being incredibly easy to solve, even though they got distracted and started talking about X-Men, Ultron, and Apocalypse. They spend a few minutes forgetting about Marvel’s The Annihilators. They’re really good at solving mysteries.

Minhdzuy and Omar wake up in another giant library, but something seems amiss. After naming all six human senses and all twenty-five human emotions, they realize that the library is almost exactly the same as the library they’d just seen. For some reason, this prompts them to criticize David Ayers’ direction in Suicide Squad, as well as Jared Leto’s performance as the Joker. That leads them to wonder why Peter Jackson shot an extra movie while shooting The Hobbit. Why was it so long? Why was GI Joe so underrated? And how does French Stewart keep making his way into movie sequels? Plus, are Minhdzuy and Omar related? His Grandma is Annie Oakley and Minhdzuy’s Grandpa is Tyler Oakley! After going outside, they interview one of the local people, who happens to be holding an Oscar, and it’s 2017’s Best Director, Damien Chazelle! But it doesn’t stop there! It turns out that Minhdzuy and Omar are in a universe where La La Land won the Oscar for Best Picture after a snafu with some envelopes led Suicide Squad to have been temporarily named Best Picture! And Minhdzuy makes a plea for people to stop needlessly hating Anne Hathaway. Omar reminds everyone of Natalie Portman’s stellar acting in Star Wars Episode 1, and then quickly plugs This American Life’s app, Shortcut. Also a heptapod from Arrival shows up and Minhdzuy speaks to it. And then Ryan Reynolds talks to them too. There are a bunch of celebrities in this episode.

After touching the Jerry Bruckheimer wheel, Minhdzuy and Omar wake up in a giant library and discover a magical, psychic mural that responds to thoughts. Using the language of exploration, Omar and Minhdzuy ask it basic questions to help them figure out where they are, but soon realize that true adventure lies outside. Our two explorers find a perfectly preserved version of the Acropolis, leading them to believe that they’re in Nashville, Tennessee. However, Omar comes to the starchy conclusion that since no humans are around, they’ve both traveled to an alternative universe where humanity has been completely wiped out. Not only is this an alternate universe, but it’s the oft-discussed Berenstein universe that much of humanity came from before slipping in to the Berenstain universe! It’s the same universe that contains Sinbad’s Shazam movie! With the full power of the Mandela Effect in their hands, Minhdzuy & Omar can now jump between universes in order to solve some great new mysteries!

Minhdzuy & Omar have been living on the Fry’s Electronics Spaceship for far too long now and come to the realization that perhaps, they are really, truly stuck on the ship. As they live their new lives on the ship, they lament the decorative Jerry Bruckheimer (Pirates of the Caribbean 3) pirate ship steering wheel that doesn’t seem to do anything other than mock their inability to move anywhere. Now that they’ve accepted their new home, they decide to fire up the podcast machine once again and try watching the final 3 episodes of Sailor Moon Crystal. Sailor Saturn, the soldier of destruction, makes her debut and Minhdzuy and Omar LOVE her. After an epic battle, they find out that Crystal ends on a cliffhanger! When does the final season begin? They’re not sure. Minhdzuy and Omar reflect on the season and wonder what an alternate universe might be like. Their pondering leads them to wonder if maybe their fourth season might become possible if they try to puncture universes and cross over somewhere else.

At long last, Chip, the Fry's Electronic's Spaceship mascot, finally speaks! And he's just the kind of wiseguy that Omar and Minhdzuy expected him to be. They discuss Burbank, California, filmmaking in Hollywood, and how Chip is able to create films right on the spot. After discussing Act 34 of Sailor Moon Crystal and watching Hotaru's transformation, Omar and Minhdzuy realize that Chip is stuck on the ship, just like them, and decide to help him escape, but their escape vehicle needs a push to get going.

Minhdzuy and Omar are still lost in the Fry’s Electronic spaceship. They use their time pitching new TV show ideas to Chris Hardwick, fixing his poorly titled Talking Dead, and discovering that the Fry’s Electronic spaceship cheapo bins might just be spawning original ideas as they’re being said. They talk about the dark plot of the outer Sailor Senshi to destroy Hotaru as they escape the maze that is the Fry’s Electronic spaceship!

Minhdzuy & Omar board the Fry’s Electronics Spaceship to find that nobody is there to greet them! They’ve been Punk’d again! The two discuss the longevity of the phrase, “Punk’d,” reminiscing about the times that Beyonce and Zach Braff got Punk’d, far before they were as famous as they are now. They meet Chip, the Fry’s Electronics statue, who communicates to them solely through blinks. Plus, they explore the Fry’s library of DVDs, including Sailor Moon Crystal Season 3! In this empty spaceship, they begin to wonder if they’re being Punk’d by some sort of wiseguy.