The Healing In Progress Podcast

In this episode, I respond to a listener who shared something I know many people quietly wrestle with: the guilt that can arise when you begin healing from your childhood while also deeply understanding the pain your parents carried themselves.To send in your own question: breakthecyclecoach@gmail.comThe Self-Connection System: https://www.breakthecyclecoaching.co.uk/courses/new-course-13I explore what it’s like to grow up around parents who were carrying a lot of pain themselves, parents who were overwhelmed, stressed, emotionally unavailable, or struggling with wounds they never really healed from. When you grow up in that kind of environment, you often become very aware of other people’s emotions from a young age. You learn to focus on keeping the peace, understanding everyone else, and making space for their feelings, while slowly losing touch with your own.We talk about how this can follow you into adulthood too. The moment your own hurt, anger, sadness, or grief begins to surface, another part of you may quickly step in to defend your parents, explain their behaviour, or remind yourself how hard their lives were. And while that empathy is real and important, it can also pull you away from your own experience before you’ve really had the chance to sit with it.We also talk about the guilt that so many people feel when they start healing, especially when they were raised to believe other people’s needs and emotions mattered more than their own. It can feel incredibly painful to acknowledge what hurt you when you can also see how much your parents suffered themselves.Throughout the conversation, I talk about the importance of making space for your own feelings without immediately pushing them aside for someone else’s pain. It’s a gentle conversation about guilt, grief, emotional responsibility and self-abandonment.

In this episode, we explore what can happen when someone who has always been “the responsible one” in their family begins therapy and starts setting boundaries.This listener shares their experience of growing up feeling emotionally responsible for others, becoming the dependable, stable person everyone relied on. Although they’re successful on paper, they’ve realised they don’t really know who they are outside of taking care of other people.Join The Money Reset Course: https://www.breakthecyclecoaching.co.uk/courses/new-course-15Email to send in your question: breakthecyclecoach@gmail.comBuy my book 'How to Heal From Emotionally Immature Parents': https://hayhs.com/hthfeip_pp_pb_az In this conversation, we talk about:Why children in emotionally immature families often become highly responsible adultsThe connection between self-worth and being useful to othersWhy healthy boundaries can initially feel uncomfortable or wrongHow family systems often react when one person changesThe difference between emotional withdrawal and self-respectWhy healing can sometimes feel lonely in the short termHow to hold compassion for parents while still acknowledging emotional impactThis episode offers an honest discussion about healing from emotionally immature parenting without reducing family relationships to “good” or “bad,” and learning how to build a more authentic relationship with yourself.

In this episode, psychotherapist Sian Crossley answers a powerful listener question: Can you fully heal from emotionally immature parents while still staying in contact with them?Many people assume healing from childhood trauma or emotional neglect means cutting family members off completely. But what happens when you still love your parents, want a relationship with them, or don’t want estrangement to be the answer?Join The Money Reset Course: https://www.breakthecyclecoaching.co.uk/courses/new-course-15Email to send in your question: breakthecyclecoach@gmail.comBuy my book 'How to Heal From Emotionally Immature Parents': https://hayhs.com/hthfeip_pp_pb_az This episode explores how to make real emotional progress while remaining in contact with emotionally immature parents. Sian talks about the grief of accepting parents who cannot fully meet your emotional needs, the unconscious hope many adults carry that their parents will finally change, and why healing often requires changing expectations rather than trying to force emotional closeness that has never existed.You’ll learn how emotionally immature family dynamics continue affecting adult children long after childhood, why contact with parents can still feel emotionally draining or triggering, and how to stop abandoning yourself in order to maintain connection.This episode covers:Can you heal without cutting your parents off?Staying in contact with emotionally immature parentsHealing childhood emotional neglect in adulthoodGrieving the parents you needed but didn’t haveWhy family relationships can keep reopening old woundsEmotional boundaries with parentsHow to stop seeking validation from emotionally unavailable parentsMaintaining family relationships without losing yourselfNervous system responses around parents and familyWhat healing from emotionally immature parenting actually looks likeWhether you are struggling with guilt around boundaries, feeling emotionally stuck after family interactions, or trying to balance compassion for your parents with care for yourself, this episode offers a realistic and compassionate perspective on healing without estrangement.#EmotionallyImmatureParents #ChildhoodTrauma #EmotionalNeglect #HealingJourney #FamilyDynamics #TherapyPodcast #MentalHealthPodcast #Boundaries #AttachmentHealing #InnerChildHealing

In the first episode of Dear Sian I'm responding to a question about whether this listeners difficulty in their new relationship is a sign that it's not a good fit, or perhaps linked to their childhood and a sign of a trauma response. This listener is finding it hard to relax and trust in this relationship and I give them my take on this through a therapeutic lens.

The mother wound affects your relationship with yourself, your self-worth or self-esteem. Its hard to have a good opinion of yourself if your mothers love was conditional (until you heal of course). However it doesn't just affect how you feel about yourself. Your relationship with your mother forms a blueprint - teaching you how to love and be loved. Showing us what connection means and how to relate to other people.Not getting enough of what you needed from your mother as a child, or not feeling emotionally safe with her during childhood tends to create gaps that make it difficult to have full and close adult relationships.The most prominent gaps it tends to create are: ➡️ Authenticity ➡️ Boundaries ➡️ Safety / Trust After all, it's difficult to be your authentic self if your relationship with your mother relied on you having to adapt and edit yourself based on your mothers moods or needs or requirements of you.It's also a tall order to be able to set boundaries clearly and without guilt if your boundaries were ignored, or triggered rejection from your mother as a child.Annnnd trust. The biggie after any form of childhood trauma. Not feeling 100% secure in your mothers love is going to make it challenging to feel safe with other people, and to trust that they won't hurt you.In this episode I'm talking about this in more detail and discussing ways you can heal in these 3 core areas in order to have better relationships.Enjoy!Sian

If you find yourself being triggered by your child and want to understand why certain things that they do or say create an emotional reaction for you, this episode will help you. Children tend to trigger the parts of us (feelings, behaviours, reactions) that we weren't allowed to feel or express as a child. As a psychotherapist and mother of 2 I have experience of finding certain parts of mothering difficult and I have developed my own style of conscious parenting over the years. This episode will discuss how to navigate parenting in a way that will set your child up for emotional health, and it explores the differences between conscious, emotionally mature parenting versus more traditional, emotionally immature parenting. You will learn strategies for working through your own triggered emotions as a parent so that you can stay calm and steady as a parent. Main Topics Discussed- Defining what it means to be "triggered" by your child's behavior (00:02:23)- How emotionally immature parenting leads to suppression of emotions and behaviors (00:05:37 - 00:08:51)  - Example of how the host's own childhood experiences trigger her when her daughter rejects her (00:11:16 - 00:14:22)- Practicing conscious parenting by holding your own emotions while also attending to your child's needs (00:14:51 - 00:18:00)---Where to Find Sian CrossleyIG Breakthecycle_coaching Conscious Parenting Bundle: [healinginprogress.co.uk/conscious-parenting](https://healinginprogress.co.uk/conscious-parenting)---Key References- Conscious parenting- Emotionally immature parenting- Suppression of emotions and behaviors- Triggered emotions- Healing childhood wounds- Parenting your inner child

Grieving isn't just reserved for bereavement. It's part of life and healing and is what needs to happen when relationships end or change.In this video I will talk you through the times when grieving is needed in order to move forward. Whether that's going no contact with someone, a relationship ending, or someone becoming different and in need of a different dynamic. We will talk through HOW to grieve and what needs to happen to facilitate this process. Enjoy!Sian

In this episode we're discussing the common experience of children in toxic families or with emotionally immature parents, not being allowed to talk about their home life with anyone. I'll be talking about the impact of this as a child and as an adult, and the way in which learning to pretend can lead to it being difficult to live authentically as an adult. Hope it helps!Sian

Perfectionism affects so many of us; wanting to do well, trying our best, aiming for high standards. It's hard to pull away from, especially when society praises high achievers and excellence of any kind. BUT perfectionism takes a toll on our emotional health, sooner or later. It becomes exhausting and robs us of relaxation and enjoyment. In this show I'm talking about 3 ways perfectionism shows up that isn't often talked about and will get to the root of what causes perfectionism in the first place. Happy listening!Sian