Grief is a Sneaky Bitch

Today, Ronit plank is a successful writer of fiction and non-fiction, an editor, a podcast host of not 1 but 2 shows, and a teacher. But long before she became all those things, she was a young girl born on a Kibbutz in Israel, shuffled across the globe to Seattle by 2 unhappily married parents. Soon after, her father left to start a new family on the east coast. And then the following year, her mother dropped her and her younger sister on his doorstep - announcing she was headed to India. Her mother was sad and lost and was given cassette tapes by a guru called Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh – the man we now know as the leader of the cult featured in the Netflix Documentary Series Wild Wild Country. But back then Ronit didn’t know any of that, she just knew that she and her sister were abandoned repeatedly, leaving her with a deep well of grief that no one was naming as loss. In her extraordinary memoir, When She Comes Back, she shares revelations and insights about the nature of loss when the person is very much alive. In our conversation today, we’re both deeply moved and reflective about the adultification that happens when we grow up in disorganized and chaotic households, and the importance of honoring with care the versions of us that never got what we deserved, a safe and loving home. I can’t wait for you to spend time with Ronit today. I know for sure you will be both touched and inspired by her story. About the Guest & Resources Ronit Plank is an award-winning writer, teacher, and podcaster who hosts Let's Talk Memoir featuring interviews with memoir writers and teachers. Her writing has earned Pushcart Prize, Best Microfiction, and Best of the Net nominations and has appeared or is forthcoming in The Atlantic, Writer’s Digest, The Washington Post, Hippocampus, The Rumpus, The New York Times, Poets and Writers, andelsewhere. WHEN SHE COMES BACK, her memoir about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation, was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards,the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023Page Turner Awards for Short Stories. She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and lives in Seattle with her family where she editsmemoir manuscripts and teaches workshops. You can learn more at RonitPlank.com, follow her on Instagram, and subscribe to her Memoir Moments newsletter here. Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Oh, and this season, if you want to WATCH the show, you can now watch it on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded April 5, 2024. 

We’re all just briefly perfectly human. That’s the profound reminder from our guest today, Alua Arthur. If we are brave enough to allow this truth be at the center of awareness in our day-to-day lives, Alua argues we could live a fuller, more compassionate, and even magic-filled existence. In our conversation today, and in her adventure-filled and beautifully honest memoir, Briefly Perfectly Human, she helps us see how we can make an authentic life by getting real about the end. Alua Arthur is a death doula, recovering attorney, and the founder of Going with Grace, a death doula training and end-of-life planning organization that exists to support people as they answer the question, “What must I do to be at peace with myself so that I may live presently and die gracefully?” Going with Grace works to improve and redefine the end-of-life experience for people rooted in every community using the individual lived experience as the foundation. Alua’s warmth, wisdom, wit, and passion for living - even while keeping the end in mind - is an inspiration to me and I know you will feel the same way after today’s episode.  About the Guest & ResourcesAuthor of BRIEFLY PERFECTLY HUMAN: Making an Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End, Alua Arthur is the most visible and active death doula working in America today. She is a recovering attorney and the founder of Going with Grace, a death doula training and end-of-life planning organization. Her TED Talk titled, “Why Thinking About Death Helps You Live a Better Life,” went online in July 2023 and has already received nearly 1.4 million views. A frequent guest on TV and radio, Arthur has been featured on CBS’s The Doctors and in Disney's Limitless docu-series with Chris Hemsworth, as well as other national media outlets, such as Vogue, InStyle, the Los Angeles Times, The Cut, The New Yorker, New York Times, Marie Claire, and CNN. She has appeared on dozens of podcasts, and a Refinery29 video feature on Arthur and her work received ten million views across social platforms. In non-pandemic times, she travels the country and world as a keynote speaker, addressing audiences of several hundred to several thousand people at medical and end-of-life conferences, universities, seminaries, senior citizens’ communities, and more. Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration. Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Oh, and this season, if you want to WATCH the show, you can now watch it on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded March 22nd, 2024.

5 years ago, while today’s guest, Nikki Mark, was driving her 12-year-old son, Tommy, to a soccer game, he turned to her and asked, “Mom, is it possible to go to sleep and not wake up?” Nikki told him that’s how one of his grandmothers passed away: “it’s the best way to go-no pain, no drama.” He surprised Nikki further by stating, “It must be hard for a parent to lose a child.” Something told her in that car ride to tell him all the things she loved about him. Three days later, Tommy passed away in his sleep. There's still no medical explanation. Since that day, Nikki says she surrendered and that act has taken her on a healing path unlike many others – one that has included psychics, mediums, psychadelics, astrologists, and more. Even more profoundly, she has brought her strength and sheer determination to fulfill the dreams of not just Tommy, but so many families, by fundraising and then donating public fields to create Tommy’s Field – an open-to-the-public athletic fields that keep Tommy’s love of soccer and community alive and well.  About the Guest & ResourcesNikki’s “inspirational debut memoir” (as lauded by Publisher’s Weekly) is entitled Tommy’s Field: Love, Loss and the Goal of a Lifetime. Prior to losing Tommy, Nikki released a children's book series - The MightyMom Series- which includes Mommy Brings Home the Bacon; Mommy's Got a Bun in the Oven; and MightyMom. All author’s profits from all book sales are being donated to the TM23 Foundation to build more athletic fields where they are most needed, and to brighten our world with the #powerofplay. Access Nikki’s free weekly articles, popular alternative healing toolkit, and other valuable resources at Nikkimark.com. Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Oh, and this season, if you want to WATCH the show, you can now watch it on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded March 16th, 2024.

I’m thrilled to share my conversation with Peter A. Levine, the renowned developer of Somatic Experiencing - a naturalistic and neurobiological approach to healing trauma, which he has developed over the past 50 years. He holds a Medical and Biological Physics doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley and a doctorate in Psychology from International University. He is the recipient of four lifetime achievement awards and is the author of several books, including Waking the Tiger, which has now been printed in 33 countries and has sold over a million copies. His memoir, An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey will be published on April 9th,2024.  ResourcesOrder An Autobiography of Trauma at https://books.innertraditions.com/autobiography-of-trauma/Dr. Levine is the author of several best-selling books on trauma, including Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma (published in over 29 languages); In an Unspoken Voice,How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness; and Trauma and Memory,Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past. Check out Peter Levine’s incredible resources on trauma and somatic experiencing (including videos, online courses, and his best-selling books) by visiting https://www.somaticexperiencing.com Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Oh, and this season, if you want to WATCH the show, you can now watch it on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded March 8th, 2024.

In this episode, I bring you my conversation with the wise and warm grief therapist and author, Claire Bidwell Smith.There are some common themes most grievers experience, regardless of the source of their loss. These include things like a loss of self-identity, heightened feelings of guilt, time spent ruminating on the what ifs, and increased anxiety and fear. What makes these typical experiences even more challenging is that they are so rarely named by others, or shown in media, and so we often feel even further isolated from the world and uncertain how to get ourselves unstuck. That’s why I’m so grateful for Claire’s words and wisdom. In her recent book Conscious Grieving, and in our conversation, Claire opens up about her personal experiences with these themes in the wake of the death of both of her parents in her 20’s. Over the course of her career as a grief therapist both in private practice and hospice, she has gained such deep insight on how we move through various phases in grief, or orientations as she calls them. She helps us unpack what we might face in each and the roadblocks that can get in our way. From the insights she shares to her soft and warm voice, you are going to feel guided with care through today’s conversation. ResourcesCheck out Claire’s body of work, including Conscious Grieving (her 5th book), hitting bookstores March 12th. If you’re listening before then, you don’t have to wait, you can pre-order it today on your favorite online bookseller. Also, Claire offers a wide array of workshops, retreats, and more, so head over to clairebidwellsmith.com to learn more. Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Oh, and this season, if you want to WATCH the show, you can now watch it on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded December 1, 2023

My conversation with guest Devin Moss was so rich and expansive, from our shared passion for the big existential questions to his rich and complex podcast series, Momento Mori (that dives deep into mortality), to his unexpected journey to becoming a Humanist Chaplain. He shares one of the most unique experiences of a bedside death I’ve ever heard. Soon after becoming certified Devin said yes to a request from an inmate on death row to have a non-theist chaplain accompany him in his final months on earth. Devin Sean Moss is a Humanist (nontheist) Chaplain unwavering in his pursuit to relate stories that connect us to our humanity. A natural explorer, he uses playful inquisition to examine the complexity of the human condition and the intrinsic meaning of life. Moss maintains an interdisciplinary practice of storytelling, street philosophy, and practical altruism. In 2015, Moss created The Adventures of Memento Mori podcast.. The consequence of this deep meditation on impermanence was life-changing. Uncertain of what happens after we die, Moss has dedicated his life to the positive changes that can happen while we’re still alive. ResourcesYou can learn more about Devin’s podcast, Momento Mori, and his work by visiting dsmoss.com or following him on Instagram at ds_moss Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Oh, and this season, if you want to WATCH the show, you can now watch it on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded January 26,2024

Darnell Lamont Walker joined me for an expansive conversation in this episode - from the questions you might want to ask yourself and others in life instead of waiting until death’s door, to the complex and layered experiences of grief and loss in the Black community, to the power of creativity and play as a tool of healing. Darnell is an Emmy-Nominated children's television writer who understands the power of representation and joy, creating content in hopes that all children get the opportunity to not only see themselves, but see how incredible they are and can be. Darnell has written for outstanding shows, including PBS Kids’ Work It Out Wombats!, Netflix’s Karma’s World, and Nickelodeon’s Blue’s Clues & You. He’s a death doula, helping individuals and communities move through grief and toward healing and happiness. Darnell’s goal with his is to continue to support children, adults, and whole communities around the world through the building of safe and happy spaces. ResourcesYou can learn more about the work Darnell offers from his courses at the Esalen Insitute, to writing projects, his work as a Death Doula and so much more by visiting www.darnellwalker.com or following him on Instagram at hello.darnell Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Oh, and this season, if you want to WATCH the show, you can now watch it on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded January 26,2024 

As my guest, Asa Merritt knows, it's important that we see, hear, experience a wider expanse of grief stories that show the messy, beautiful, dynamic experience of a wide variety of losses. That’s why I’m thrilled to share my recent conversation with him. In his most recent project, Six Sermons, a new Audible Original series starring Stephanie Hsu from Everything Everywhere All At Once, Asa spent a month embedded with a team of pastors at a Lutheran church in Cincinnati, OH. Six Sermons is dedicated to the actor and musician Caz Liske, who died by suicide in Moscow in 2017. He weaves his own personal process of grappling with anger, frustration, sorrow, and confusion he experienced after the death of his friend into a powerful narrative that models for all of us the messy, vulnerable, and important conversations we need to have to move forward in our grief, particularly in the wake of a loss by suicide. Asa is a former international reporter for NPR, VICE Sports, The Guardian and ESPN’s 30 for 30 podcast. Asa brings a compassionate documentary eye to ambitious fictional projects. Resources You can download Six Sermon’s, an audible original by visiting www.audible.com. If you’d like to learn more about the principles and practices of exploring your story in a healing way, I encourage you to check out my conversation with Dr. Annie Brewster entitled The Healing Power of Storytelling in Season 3 – 2022. I also HIGHLY recommend her book of the same title. You can find a link to her book and all those featured on this podcast at my Grief is a Sneaky Bitch podcast at lisakeefauver.com Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Oh, and this season, if you want to WATCH the show, you can now watch it on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded January 19, 2024 

In this interactive bonus episode, host Lisa Keefauver invites listeners to reflect on the importance of honoring or creating ritual for the anniversaries of the day their lives changed - even when they're “not all better yet.” This episode emerged after the overwhelming feedback she received from an essay she recently shared called “Honoring the ‘Not All Better Yet’ Anniversaries” about the one-year anniversary of her Breast Cancer Diagnosis. In this episode, listeners are:Guided through a compassion meditation,Invited to hold space for Lisa’s story of honoring the anniversary of her Breast Cancer diagnosis,Given a series of questions that will help them create their own ritual for honoring their "not all better yet" anniversaries,Read a short excerpt on the topic of starting close in from her forthcoming book, Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss.  “But what struck me last month is the lack of acknowledgment or ritual for those before/after days where we’re not in the “after” yet. How do we honor the time that’s passed since our lives shifted when we’re still in the middle of that change? When there is still a force in motion, and we haven’t arrived at the other side. For me, that day was last month on the one-year anniversary of the day I got my Breast Cancer diagnosis. One year later and I’m not all better yet, I’m not on the other side.” - Lisa Keefauver Resources: You can find all the books featured on the show by visiting the Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Wishlist on Bookshop.org Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did, and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Recorded February 6, 2024