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Goop Yourself

Suck and Massage

Bryan has a health scare, Agnes prepares for a big move, and the Goop girls are giving us nothing! There's yet another Nashville vacation guide and more bad retinol advice, but at least Gwyneth is (allegedly) off paleo. Plus, Gutes Guterman, a $200 Father's Day fleshlight, Jean's favorite slippers, saffron chicken thighs, the curse of perfectionism, G*nter's return to Winnipeg (bitch) and more!

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  • We Wish You Well

    01:03:31
    It's the end of an era. After 8 years, Bryan and Agnes consciously uncouple (for now) from the Goopiverse. We talk Gundry's smoking advice, Deer Park theatre, Purely Elizabeth, Father's Day enneagrams and penis pumps, weekday paleo lobster salad, and more!!Keep in touch on Instagram @goopyourself and don't unsubscribe from the feed, we'll be back on mic sporadically. All Patreon subscriptions are paused for June and then will go down to $1 per month in July, in case you want to access the back catalogue.Thank you for listening to the pod. We love you!!
  • A Difficult Six Months For Both of Them

    01:38:58
    We dive into the homoerotic je ne sais quoi of Brendan and Cookie from @santacruzmedicinals before a little recap on the recent goings on of Tier One goddesses J*n G*nter, M*lly B*z, El*se L**hn*n, and J*ss*ca S**nf*ld. Life & Style and In Touch have rival Gwyneth gossip, and Bon Appetit profiles an unemployed Buffalonian who loves Russian Drinking Butter and physical therapy. In the newsletters, we covet Megan's jet setting lifestyle and ask whether Jean is losing her touch. Plus, 4 new high tech wellness devices, 12 destination spas, 1 disgusting green detox soup, and more!
  • Just Add Baz

    01:40:37
    Gwyneth shoots a Target commercial, welcomes Posh on the Goop pod, and hosts an "intimate" Montecito dinner with Oprah. M*lly B*z realizes her dream of starring in a Times Square billboard before all of it is ripped away. G*nter flies to Boston to be on a popular podcast while another menopause book climbs the charts. Plus, microplastics in workout clothes, Hamilton-era zoodle salads, Cleo (not Chloe!) Wade's patriotic poetry, and more!
  • Plant-Based Pariah

    01:22:24
    Gwyneth lands the cover of (???) Cultured Magazine and interviews a Kardashian underwear entrepreneur at In Goop Health. A vegan restaurant scandal hits Echo Park, and Atwater Village's local shoppy-shop is in dire straits. Plus, Goop's Mother's Day Gift Guide, women's hair loss, Goop Kitchen's Earth Day special, high protein meals, Goop Beauty's Summertime Bronzing Gel, and more!
  • America Has A (Chipotle) Problem

    01:25:12
    Agnes and Bryan both discuss their newfound dietary restrictions, Gwyneth does a "This and That," and Goop releases THE LIST of Goopiest hotels in the world. We dissect a Bon Appetit article about the perceived decline of America's favorite fast-casual Mexican place, and Bryan reads a startling Instagram post from a struggling local businesswoman. Plus, life changing bread, unreliable vegan cooking blogs, men's cosmetic surgery, Goop Kitchen's Greek Goddess bowl, and more!
  • The Preacher's Husband

    01:43:00
    Spring horoscopes, Goop sneakers, a life-changing bread, hydrating water-cream, Andrew Huberman, endoscopies and more! Plus, in this week’s Bon Appetit Receipt, a young pastor from Alabama whose husband has a terrible secret!
  • Give Me One Moment In Space

    01:11:06
    Gwyneth launches her open eyed meditation app, Agnes has flight fright, and Bryan self-soothes with bland hippie food. Plus, how to break free from the stress cycle, cashew cream, turning tragedy into a skincare line, and $699 sauna blankets!
  • Cotty Chee

    01:42:34
    This week we discuss Gwyneth's ongoing relationship with Saudi Arabia as reported by the New York Post, follow up on last week's mystery Receipt-er, dive into all the Kate Middleton conspiracy theories, and have a difficult but necessary conversation about food influencer M*lly B*z. Plus, Goop's big WWD award, the environmental and nutritional benefits of different types of milk, fancy shower heads, Emily Mariko's Green Chef deal, ageless locket designers and more!
  • Seven Oranges

    01:48:14
    Gwyneth spills her secrets to British Vogue, the New York Times investigates dark circles, Goop spends one (busy) day on the Upper West Side, and Dr. G*nt*r goes to bat for High Fructose Corn Syrup. Plus, Madame Web, sheet pan popcorn, the "classic shop" big lie, drugstore moisturizer and more!