Share
Good Life Project
Steve Magness | The Truth About Toughness (a better way to do hard things)
Adults do this thing — and maybe you've already done it yourself since you've grown up — where they go out of their way to remind children that life will come with its difficult moments, so we should revel in the good, easy times while they last. Ease, we learn, is the state we should most aspire to.
But, what about those hard things, moments, and experiences? Isn’t there value in them, even if they’re not fun in the moment? Aren’t they important in not only making us who are, in fostering confidence, competence, and resilience? In making life truly good, and equipping us with the resilience to get through the times when it’s not? And, what about that age-old notion of toughness? What’s really going on there? Can we be tough, but also gentle, vulnerable, open?
Today's guest, Steve Magness, a world-renowned expert on performance, well-being, and sustainable success, joins me to dive deeper into these questions and explore the fascinating intersections of success, toughness, doing hard things, and science.
Steve is co-author of the best-selling book Peak Performance and The Passion Paradox. His most recent work is Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness. In his coaching practice, Steve works with executives, entrepreneurs, and athletes on their performance and mental skills. He's worked with Olympians and professional athletes across the NBA and MLB, and his writing has appeared in various notable outlets such as Forbes, Sports Illustrated, and Men's Health.
Toughness is a word that comes with certain unfortunate, heavily machismo-fueled perceptions that might not be accurate or even helpful to us as we strive for success or try to work our way through hard things. In this conversation, you'll hear us dissect the words "grit" and "toughness" as Steve offers his take on the matter, defining grit as the ability to create space for navigating your doubts, insecurities, and feelings that can get in the way of the desired outcome. And in the end, we explore the importance of training our brains to escape the shock of difficulties and forge on until the end — even with the complicated feelings and all.
You can find Steve at: Website | The Growth Equation podcast | On Coaching podcast
If you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Angela Duckworth about grit, resilience, and adaptability.
Check out our offerings & partners:
- Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the Wheel
- Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
More episodes
View all episodes
The Year of Enough
43:12|You are not behind. How to find enough right now.We've all played the "I'll be happy when..." game, constantly moving the goalpost and living in the anxiety of "not enough yet." In this episode, Jonathan challenges the myth that you have to "fix" yourself or acquire "more" to feel worthy of a good life.He offers a counter-cultural approach to setting your intentions: making this The Year of Enough, a radical internal commitment that your current self is a valid starting point for growth.In this episode, discover:The "Happiness Delay": Why achieving big goals often fails to deliver lasting contentment, and how to get off the hedonic treadmill.Enough is the fuel for growth: A new definition of enough that is the opposite of settling, but instead frees you from the pressure of "not being enough," while still honoring your desire to growth and achieve big, meaningful things.Three Practices for Sufficiency: Simple daily and weekly exercises (like The "Already" List and The "What's Not Wrong?" Check-In) to gently train your nervous system to register moments of peace and contentment.The Inverse Resolution: A powerful subtraction technique: what to intentionally stop doing this year to create spaciousness, joy, and peace.This is a quiet, powerful invitation to stop postponing your okay-ness and to let your goals flow from a place of belonging, not desperation.Episode TranscriptFollow us on Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode.If you LOVED this episode:You can find the 1-page worksheet HERE.Find all of the New Year three-part mini-series episodes.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount CodesSamin Nosrat | Crafting a Life That Nourishes You
56:41|Samin Nosrat on taking back your life, overcoming overwhelm, and redefining success. A candid conversation about joy, grief, rebellion, rest, food, and what actually sustains us when achievement isn’t enough.In this soul-stirring conversation about her new book "Good Things: Recipes and Rituals to Share with People You Love," the Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat creator offers a masterclass in how small rituals can become profound acts of love, and why letting go of striving might be the key to finding what we're all really hungry for.You can find Samin at: Website | Instagram | Home Cooking podcast | a grain of salt substack | Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Samin about her journey from anxiety and depression to finding joy through food, writing, and community at Chez Panisse. Her earlier visit also offers a wonderful complement to today's conversation.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount CodesThe Unresolution: Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail & What Works Instead
42:51|New Year’s resolutions fail, not because of discipline, but because the system is broken. In this episode, Jonathan Fields introduces The Unresolution, a calmer, more reliable way to change that replaces rigid promises with fun and forgiving experiments, kind reflection, and compassion. This episode is for anyone who wants genuine growth without burnout, shame, or starting over yet again.Episode TranscriptFollow us on Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode.If you LOVED this episode:You can find the 1-page worksheet HERE.Find all of the New Year three-part mini-series episodes.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount CodesBrené Brown | Why Courage Matters More Than Comfort
53:21|Showing up as your true self is terrifying, but it’s also the unlock key for so much of what makes your life good. Through powerful stories and research-backed insights, this conversation reveals why showing up as your real self unlocks extraordinary possibilities, and how embracing imperfection creates deeper connections than striving for perfection ever could. Whether you're leading a team, raising children, or pursuing creative work, you'll discover practical tools for choosing courage over comfort and building genuine connections in a world that often fears being real.You can find Brené at: Website | Instagram | Brené's Podcasts | Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Elizabeth Gilbert about bringing your whole self to your life.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount CodesMyth of the Clean Slate
43:37|You don’t have to erase yourself to feel more alive. Nor do you have to deny your past or who you truly are. What if the secret to real transformation isn't becoming someone new, but understanding who you already are? This episode challenges the "clean slate" myth of New Year's change, revealing why treating your past as valuable data rather than baggage unlocks genuine, lasting growth.Episode TranscriptFollow us on Apple Podcasts to never miss an episode.If you LOVED this episode:You can find the 1-page worksheet HERE.Find all of the New Year three-part mini-series episodes.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount CodesHow to Quiet Your Inner Critic & Escape Perfectionism | Dr. Ellen Hendriksen
56:51|Are you tired of never feeling good enough? In this insightful Best of conversation, psychologist Ellen Hendriksen, author of How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists, shares strategies to escape the perfectionism trap. Learn how to pursue excellence without harsh self-criticism, shift from rigid rules to living by your core values, and make room for imperfection - allowing you to live the life you truly want.You can find Ellen at: Website | Instagram | How to Be Good to Yourself When You're Hard on Yourself Substack | Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Ellen about overcoming social anxiety.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount CodesTurning Down Tinnitus
41:11|How I made peace with the sound in my head, turned my inner tormentor into one of my greatest teachers, learned to live with uncertainty, and tamed relentless anxiety.Through his story, Jonathan reveals how an unexpected approach became not just his salvation but a powerful tool for living well amid uncertainty, offering listeners both inspiration and practical guidance—including a special guided meditation practice to bring peace and open your heart.Episode TranscriptCheck out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount CodesHealing Shame, When Nothing Seems to Be Working | Dr. Zoe Shaw
56:34|What if the shame you carry isn't just from one event, but layers of experiences that typical healing approaches can't touch?Dr. Zoe Shaw reveals why some people remain trapped in patterns of shame despite outward success, and shares a revolutionary framework for healing what she calls "complex shame" from her book "Stronger in the Difficult Places: Heal Your Relationship with Yourself by Untangling Complex Shame." Learn why traditional advice about vulnerability sometimes falls short, how shame lives in your body, and practical steps to transform your relationship with yourself and others.You can find Zoe at: Website | Instagram | Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Lori Gottlieb about understanding your emotional narratives and rewriting the stories you live by.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount CodesAttention Grown-ups: If You’re Not Playing, You’re Likely Paying a Big Price. | Cas Holman
49:23|Toy designer and RISD professor Cas Holman shows how rediscovering play can help adults build resilience, spark creativity, and forge deeper connections in an achievement-focused world.In this revealing conversation about her book "Playful: How Play Shifts Our Thinking, Inspires Connection, and Sparks Creativity," Holman shares practical ways to embrace uncertainty through play and explains why putting down our phones might be the first step toward reclaiming our natural capacity for joy.You can find Cas at: Website | Instagram | Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Debbie Millman about designing a life through creativity and story.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes