Share

cover art for How to Make Amends When We Cause Harm (and we all will) | Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg

Good Life Project

How to Make Amends When We Cause Harm (and we all will) | Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg

We all mess up. Sometimes in small ways, but other times big ones. Sometimes privately, other times publicly. We don’t mean to - or maybe we do in the momentum, but feel remorse after the fact. Either way, we all will, at some point, hurt someone. And we may also suffer repercussions. Whether personal, communal, or societal. Question is, what do we do after that? How do we repair the harm, and make amends? How do we find a way back to grace, connection, community, redemption and repair? Is that even possible in all cases? And if so, what are the steps? And what about forgiveness? Does that, and should it, be a part of the process? 


Turns out, there is a well-defined set of steps, a path, that very few know about.


Today, we explore a practical, though not always easy, 5-step path to repair, reconciliation, and redemption based on ancient, universal wisdom, that she details in her newest book, On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World. We talk about each step, why it’s there, how to step into it, and some challenging “edge case” and how to both do the work and set expectations. And, we also talk about forgiveness, with Rabbi Danya offering a powerful alternative take on it.


You can find Rabbi Danya at: Website | Twitter | Instagram


If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Jonathan Haidt about the free exchange of ideas, cancel culture, and the line between growth and harm.


Check out our offerings & partners: 

More episodes

View all episodes

  • The Truth About Power, Money & Freedom | Spotlight Convo

    01:08:14|
    Unlock your power to create the life you want on this insightful episode. Vivian Tu shares bold strategies for building real wealth, while Kemi Nekvapil redefines power as an empowering dance of presence, ownership, wisdom, equality and responsibility. Hear their thought-provoking perspectives on money, equality, agency and living a truly good life.Episode TranscriptYou can find Vivian at: Website | Instagram | Listen to Our Full-Length Convo with VivianYou can find Kemi at: Website | Instagram | Listen to Our Full-Length Convo with KemiCheck out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
  • 5 Habits That Change Everything | New Beginnings Pt 4

    01:01:34|
    As part of our New Beginnings series, unlock the power of 5 transformative yet simple habits to redesign your life in 2025.In this insightful episode, Jonathan shares potent daily practices like morning hugs, breathing exercises, mindful movement, nature immersion, and present-moment meditation. Discover how establishing these keystone habits can profoundly impact your psychology, physiology, and overall well-being without willpower - making personal growth and life changes virtually effortless this year.Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode:You can find the 1-page worksheet HERE.Find all of the New Beginnings: Redesigning Your Life in 2025 episodes.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
  • He Quit Screens for 7 Weeks, You Won't Believe What Happened | Carlos Whittaker

    01:02:26|
    Are you feeling overwhelmed by constant screen time and digital inputs? In this fascinating episode, author Carlos Whittaker shares his transformative experiment from the book Reconnected: How 7 Screen-Free Weeks with Monks and Amish Farmers Helped Me Recover the Lost Art of Being Human.Discover how stepping away from devices allowed him to rediscover forgotten human abilities like savoring moments, exercising intuition, and prioritizing real community over virtual connection. If you're craving more presence and authentic living, this is a must-listen.You can find Carlos at: Website | Instagram | Chapter 1 of Reconnected | Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Tara Brach about dropping out of the trance of distraction and dropping into life.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
  • 10 Steps to Unshakable Confidence | New Beginnings Pt 3

    54:36|
    In this third episode of the "New Beginnings" series, we dive deep into strategies for building confidence to take bold action and say yes to opportunities in life - both big and small.What confidence really means and how it differs from self-esteemWhy confidence looks different across different areas of your life10 proven strategies to build confidence in all areas of your lifeA powerful reframe around confidence and bravery from Brené BrownThis power-packed episode provides a roadmap for building unshakeable confidence so you can show up boldly as your authentic self - even when you're feeling unsure or afraid. Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode:You can find the 1-page worksheet HERE.Find all of the New Beginnings: Redesigning Your Life in 2025 episodes.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
  • The Hidden Connection Between Depression, Anxiety, Weight, and Your Gut (and What to Do About It) | Tim Spector, MD

    51:23|
    Unlock the secrets of your gut microbiome - the hidden key to overall health and longevity.In this fascinating interview, leading scientist Dr. Tim Spector reveals groundbreaking research linking your gut bacteria to conditions like depression, anxiety, obesity, cancer, and more. Discover simple dietary tweaks that can optimize your microbiome for mental clarity, disease prevention, and living your best life well into old age.You can find Tim at: Website | Instagram | ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast | Episode TranscriptInterested in learning more about Zoe? Use code GOODLIFE10 to get 10% off your membership.If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Frank Lipman about the pillars of health.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
  • To Succeed at Anything, Do This | New Beginnings Pt 2

    01:05:16|
    Unlock your potential with our powerful "Success Scaffolding" framework. This step-by-step system provides the structure and accountability to turn your biggest goals into reality. We share the 7 key elements (the 7 P's) that empower you to envision, plan, and achieve transformative life changes one step at a time.Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode:You can find the 1-page worksheet HERE.Find all of the New Beginnings: Redesigning Your Life in 2025 episodes.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
  • How to Quiet Your Inner Critic & Escape Perfectionism | Dr. Ellen Hendriksen

    55:34|
    Are you tired of never feeling good enough? In this insightful conversation, psychologist Ellen Hendriksen, author of How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists, shares strategies to escape the perfectionism trap. Learn how to pursue excellence without harsh self-criticism, shift from rigid rules to living by your core values, and make room for imperfection - allowing you to live the life you truly want.You can find Ellen at: Website | Instagram | How to Be Good to Yourself When You're Hard on Yourself Substack | Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Ellen about overcoming social anxiety.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
  • Build your Good Life Roadmap | New Beginnings Pt 1

    53:34|
    Unlock the path to your best year yet with this powerful "good life buckets" framework. Learn how to design a personalized roadmap that fills your vitality, connection, and contribution buckets for extraordinary fulfillment in 2025. Jonathan Fields guides you through insightful exercises to set intentional focuses, build meaningful habits, and vividly envision an abundant life - paving the way for more joy, deeper relationships, and purposeful impact.Episode TranscriptIf you LOVED this episode:You can find the 1-page worksheet HERE.Find all of the New Beginnings: Redesigning Your Life in 2025 episodes.Listen to Jonathan's What to Do in the Next 2 Years to Set Up Your Next 20 | The 2×20 Project™Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
  • The Hug | Heartwarming Stories From Everyday People

    01:18:32|
    "The Hug" is a heartwarming and poignant collection of stories celebrating the profound impact that acts of kindness, generosity and human connection can have on our lives - especially during the most difficult of times. From a community rallying around a frozen talent show performer to strangers saving a family's home from wildfires, these powerful tales will rekindle your faith in the goodness of people and remind you of the beauty that can emerge even from life's darkest moments. An uplifting and deeply moving "hug" for the soul.Episode TranscriptYou can find our storytellers at:Marsha Shandur: Instagram | WebsiteYvonne Ator: WebsiteIN-Q: Instagram | WebsiteDan Stones: Wildfire note on TwitterJana Langford: Instagram | WebsiteGabra Zackman: InstagramRick Charlie: FacebookSusan Piver: InstagramErin Moon: Instagram | WebsiteCheck out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes