Share

Goldie Lookin Chain
2003 The First Gigs, Terrible Contracts & Farts That Smell of Piss
Ep. 10
ā¢
š§Ā Goldie Lookin Chain Podcast ā Episode 10
āThe First Gigs, Terrible Contracts & Farts That Smell of Pissā
In this gloriously shambolic deep dive, the GLC boys look back at theirĀ veryĀ early days: doomed record deals, weed-filled office meetings, their first ever gigs, and the chaotic rise from Newport cult heroes to nearly-signed superstars. From skipping CD players in TJās to flip-flop disasters in Manchester, itās a full, unfiltered blast of nostalgia and bodily functions.
Key Topics- šæ The terrible record deal they were first offered (āless money than the doleā)
- š„ Meeting Gut Records, Hut Records, and the legendary āGary from Hutā
- š¬ Smoking weed in record label offices while legal teams panicked
- š Signing their big Atlantic Records deal (and spilling Burger King everywhere)
- š¤ The first ever GLC gig at the Welsh Club:
- 200-capacity room
- 100+ person guestlist
- Tickets reselling for Ā£45āĀ£100
- A room so packed it felt like a zombie movie
- š©“ Mistyās legendary flip-flop disasters (multiple incidents!)
- š The rider:Ā 50 scratch cardsĀ ā and the gambling spiral that followed
- š¶ Chaos at TJās: skipping CD players, makeshift repairs, and heroic stage dives
- š¤ Early management, Atomic Kitten tribute acts, and meeting the future team
- š¤ Joe Strummer appearances and bizarre backstage moments
- šØ The infamous fart that āsmelled of pissā
- The band training for gigs by standing in a circle passing Lambrini around
- Misty falling over a chair, farting,Ā andĀ landing on a can of Strongbow at once
- A mysterious child on stage skinning up mid-performance
- The credit card that āappeared from nowhereā and was used for months
- Crowds so dense the band couldnāt leave the dressing room to pee
- Stage divingĀ behind a wallĀ because the venue layout made no sense
BECOME A MEMBER OF THE GOLDIE LOOKIN PODCAST ON PATREON
More episodes
View all episodes

27. Livestream
57:11||Ep. 27
26. Tour Support
28:48||Ep. 26all this plus, win a chance to snog Adam's bottom. Watch the filmed versions at Patreon.com/YouKnowsIt
25. Live from a shed in Newport on 18 June 2026
58:01||Ep. 25There's ill-informed analysis of the previous night's World Cup Football, live chat from YouTube and Patreon. Craig David appears, but is never acknowledged. Watch at Patreon.com/youknowsit

23. Live In Newport
33:26||Ep. 23Part 1 of the Goldie Lookin Podcast live in Newport. How many ways is there to write this description?
22. Gout, Festivals & Wheelbarrowing BeyoncƩ
37:07||Ep. 22Right then⦠strap in you filthy animals, this oneās an absolute state from start to finish.The boys are back chatting pure nonsense, kicking off withĀ gout chatĀ (rock ānā roll, lads) before immediately descending into a medically inaccurate but deeply disturbing breakdown of diet, injuries, and why you should never kick a door frame in anger. Life lessons, sort of.From there itās straight intoĀ festival war stories, and honestly⦠itās chaos:WheelbarrowingĀ Beyoncé onto stage like sheās a sack of spudsNearly dying fromĀ nuclear-level hot sauceĀ (and the aftermath⦠Jesus Christ)Silent discos turning into full-on WWE situations with securityEntire festival fields basically made ofĀ weeMisty bulldozing security like heās in GladiatorAnd at least three separate incidents involvingĀ bodily functions gone very wrongThereās also:The legendaryĀ āTerry Wogan is deadā sign incidentĀ (which goes about as badly as youād expect)A full breakdown of how rumours at festivals used to spread like wildfire (RIP literally everyone every weekend apparently)Golf buggy crimes, near-death fireworks situations, and upsettingĀ Neil YoungĀ for no reason whatsoeverA man gettingĀ gangrene from a festival fenceĀ (standard)Someone mistaking a sleeping human for a bin bag and booting them across a fieldPlus loads of vintage GLC behaviour:Getting battered in tiki barsStarting chants at other peopleās gigsPlaying āfamily-friendlyā sets to horrified Christian kidsAnd discovering that dancing in a hole can become the highlight of your entire nightKey takeaway:Festivals used to be lawless, disgusting, dangerous⦠and absolutely brilliant.We wrap up with a bit of modern-day moaning (IDs, sniffer dogs, no fun allowed anymore), some chat about upcoming shows, and the usual descent into nonsense about health, ageing, and trying not to die.š„ Highlights:āI thought I was gonna die⦠then I saw your face and knew I was.āāMy ass was in tatters.āāThatās my uncle you twat!āāWe nearly set off the fireworks at 2pm.āš¬ In short:Gout, guts, mud, booze, violence, lies, near-death experiences, and lads behaving exactly how youād expect.
21. Near Death Experiences
28:51||Ep. 21In this week's episode:š¤ØThe laugh-out-loud idea of buying Newport City Football Clubš„Near-death stories from band tour mishaps, including being run over by a lorry, fireworks, being set on fire (for fun), more fireworks, eating the wrong thingsš Adventures with truck driving, and more roadside chaos and unexpected thrillsChildhood antics and daring experimentsš Unbelievable tales of almost drowning in a water park and snowboarding mishapsWatch in full at https://www.patreon.com/YouKnowsIt
Record Store Day explained (badly, but passionately) in a GLC livestream
52:22|This week the boys goĀ Live & DirectĀ (zero production values, maximum nonsense) to tackle the biggest cultural event since Egg boiled 12 eggs wrongā¦Record Store Day.Eggsy, Graham The Bear (GTB), King Dickhead and Producer Paul get stuck into:Vinyl nerd chat that quickly goes off the railsQueueing up for records like itās 1997 againWhy Taylor Swift is basically running the vinyl industry nowAnd why HMV is now 90% plastic tat and 10% Ā£40 Radiohead albumsGTB gives us the full emotional rollercoaster of running a record shop on Record Store Day (financial fear + Taylor Swift optimism), while Egg breaks down how it all started vs what itās become.š¢ Shout OutsRadioactive (apparently the best band in Britain⦠unverified)All independent record shops doing the lordās workAnyone still buying physical music in 2026 (respect)
20. Sly Stallone porn and Kelly Osbourne made of meat. It's another deep dive into the GLC brain š§
32:54||Ep. 20š§ Goldie Lookin Chain Podcast ā Episode 20Episode 20 and the boys are back chatting absolute nonsense with just enough structure to pretend itās a podcast.With questions from the fans, itās another deep dive into the GLC brain ā which is not a safe place to be.Whatās In This Episodeš¤ Questions from the fansšŗ Stories that start normal and end somewhere else entirelyš§ Memories that may or may not be trueš Ongoing attempts to keep things on track