Be Better Than Before

It is never easy for you to go through heartbreak.You don't know what do you .. where to turn ... how to be.Well ... your answer is right here!The way all of us can get to the ultimate level of joy and optimal happiness is if we tend to our hurt.Cuts need care. Wounds need to be treated. Your heart is no different.Before any lesson can be administered - this is the first step to your 'new day' and 'new you.'This is how ... you heal ... from heartbreak ... forever!

It is well known that divorce is like a death on earth. You go through a grieving process. However, to say "get over divorce," it sounds callous, harsh and cruel.This episode explains the title of the podcast. Divorce is a stigma. You get through the pain. In order to get to a better place in life, you must get over all the generalizations of it. You have permission to rip off the scarlet letter 'D' for divorce ... forever!Cole candidly talks about the moment he realized divorce wore him like a cloak. Just like being 'under the weather', he was 'under the influence of divorce'. He also mentions the moment he made his way out of that stigma - and into the better life which still lay before him.Many thanks to the following resources for aiding in the production of this episode:OFF THE TOP ... ARTICLESDivorce’s Problems with Social StigmasThe Divorcée Stigma That's Alive and WellDivorce Without ShameSPIRITUAL CONNECTION LITERATURESpiritual cul-de-sac: How the church fails the divorcedDealing with Guilt, Shame, and Social Stigma of DivorceThe Stigma of Being a Divorced Christian WomanEPISODE SCRIPTURE - Psalm 73:26Download your copy of the FREE audio How To Heal From Heartbreak now!All music by - Cxdy

Going into a death spiral after matrimony is not an easy decision to make. It should never be taken lightly. In fact, divorcee-to-be, your life will never be the same should you go through with marriage dissolution.Before you enter the realm of separation, think it over ... and over .. and over. Do everything you van to avoid going through a divorce. If you see a way to resolve your marriage, please take the opportunity to do so.Cole expresses his journey in entering a world where loneliness became an everyday companion. Divorce is not for the weak, and whenever anyone mentions the possibility, this is his first piece of advice he offers every single time.Many thanks to the following resources for aiding in the production of this episode:OFF THE TOP ... ARTICLESA good reason to think twice ...Slowing down and thinking twice about divorceHere's ... what to think about before divorceSPIRITUAL CONNECTION LITERATURE5 tips for Christians considering divorceWhy you shouldn't give up on your marriageTo a spouse considering divorceEPISODE SCRIPTURE - Ephesians 4:32Download your copy of the FREE audio How To Heal From Heartbreak now!All music by - Cxdy

So ... you made that decision to separate. Your world of debating over assets, blame, events of the now-former union and sanity now begins.And we haven't gotten to the biggest collateral damage whenever divorce happens ... children. Innocent figures almost overnight turn into bargaining chips between two people who are no longer in love with each other.Every divorcee goes through the raw, unrelenting process of pain. You experience a death on earth, and Cole describes his moment in great detail. The most beautiful part about experiencing death on earth ... is there is life after death!Many thanks to the following resources for aiding in the production of this episode:OFF THE TOP ... ARTICLESDeath or divorce: Which is worse?5 crappy things you need to feel ...Divorce is like death without the support or ritualsSPIRITUAL CONNECTION LITERATUREWith Christ, you can overcome the pain of divorce12 steps for overcoming the pain of divorceThe devastating effects of divorceEPISODE SCRIPTURE - Ezekiel 18:32Download your copy of the FREE audio How To Heal From Heartbreak now!Get your T-Shirt @ The Christian T-Shirt Company today!All music by - Cxdy

One of the greatest tools known to a divorcee is never discussed. Considering the volatile state you are undergoing, being away from others is a good thing. No, scratch that. It's a great thing.Going through any journey alone is never fun. However, it sometimes is necessary. this is when you can gather your thoughts, lick your wounds, and - most importantly - learn who you truly are.Cole speaks about the times that he needed to undergo being alone in order to be a better friend, mate and man to society, at large. It was a tricky tightrope for him, but he expresses how he navigated his way through it.Many thanks to the following resources for aiding in the production of this episode:OFF THE TOP ... ARTICLESBeing alone after divorce ...Living alone after divorceHow I overcame my fear of being aloneSPIRITUAL CONNECTION LITERATUREChoosing singleness after divorce is a good thingBeautiful truths every divorced Christian needs to knowGod has a purpose for your painful divorceEPISODE SCRIPTURE - 1 Samuel 12:22Download your copy of the FREE audio How To Heal From Heartbreak now!Get your T-Shirt @ The Christian T-Shirt Company today!All music by - Cxdy

This is where it gets tricky. Treacherous waters are ahead - because, quite frankly, you are being a liability too those you love. If you don't watch out, you may alienate them for the rest of your life.Many people feel like they are pawns in the huge chess game of life. Either they serve your purpose as your personal Amen Corner ... or they serve as a huge distraction when you aren't ready to hear the truth come out of their mouths about your erratic (and hurtful) behavior.This is where Cole gets with you and mentions the ways we all use other human beings (parents, friends, co-workers, associates ... and most importantly, children) to advance your personal gain of masking the pain that still resides within you. He knows ... because he's been there.Many thanks to the following resources for aiding in the production of this episode:OFF THE TOP ... ARTICLESWhen children become pawnsWays you're using your children as pawnsThings divorced parents should do to avoid screwing up their childrenSPIRITUAL CONNECTION LITERATURECo-Parenting with an ex: Advocate or adversary?When hate comes before childrenDon't pawn the childrenEPISODE SCRIPTURE - Matthew 7:15Download your copy of the FREE audio How To Heal From Heartbreak now!Get your T-Shirt @ The Christian T-Shirt Company today!All music by - Cxdy

You've cut yourself. You've fallen to the ground. You've accidentally slammed your hand in your car door. All those scenarios hurt ... but not like being rejected by someone you love.There is something profoundly different about healing from a divorce. Healing from a break-up is bad enough. Literally seeing your family, your existence, your life split in two ... can prove to be devastating.Cole walks you through the time when he recognized that divorce is something you can't simply brush aside and move forward. He mentions the time when the pain was so unbearable - the feeling of death felt better than the excruciating pain of being discarded.Many thanks to the following resources for aiding in the production of this episode:OFF THE TOP ... ARTICLESEmotional coping and divorceReasons the pain of divorce is hard to get overWhy divorce hurtsSPIRITUAL CONNECTION LITERATUREGod is able to heal the pain of divorceDivorce: Will this pain ever go away?Healing the wounds of divorceEPISODE SCRIPTURE - Revelation 21:4Download your copy of the FREE audio How To Heal From Heartbreak now!Get your T-Shirt @ The Christian T-Shirt Company today!All music by - Cxdy

"I hate you." "You disgust me." "I wish you were never born." "You need to die." All of these words you either have heard at one time or another ... or have said them - maybe even both. The feeling is hate. However, what if we were to tell you that it is normal for you to feel this way?Of course, it's not something you should forever want to feel. However, when discourse happens - intense feelings start to develop. And what better (or worse) to feel - than hate.Cole talks about the time he mentions this in counsel - and in conversation with his ex-wife as he goes through the unflinchingly painful ordeal of being emotional in the beginning of divorce. He had to understand the hatred - so he could ultimately destroy it.Many thanks to the following resources for aiding in the production of this episode:OFF THE TOP ... ARTICLESWhy is it OK to be angry at your ex?Feeling hatred is normal in divorce5 simple ways to deal with anger during a divorceSPIRITUAL CONNECTION LITERATUREWhat the Bible says about anger (after divorce)Demystifying your anger during divorceHow could God let this happen?EPISODE SCRIPTURE - Proverbs 8:13Download your copy of the FREE audio How To Heal From Heartbreak now!Get your T-Shirt @ The Christian T-Shirt Company today!All music by - Cxdy

One of the most painful moments during heartbreak or divorce is the moment loneliness seeps in so deep that it overtakes you. Some may be strong enough to avoid sinking deep into the clinical version of it. However, all go through feeling a heavy level of dejection at some point of healing.What you are experiencing is something called depression. It is emotionally painful, mentally crippling and psychologically damaging ... should you not do things to confront, combat and overcome it. Sometimes, relief doesn't come in the form of another human being. This is one of those times.Cole reminisces about a day where he drove for hours during the beginning of his divorce. He recounts the emptiness he felt for a long time - and how he covered up the feeling when around other peopleMany thanks to the following resources for aiding in the production of this episode:OFF THE TOP ... ARTICLESDealing with a breakup or divorceManaging depression after divorceHow to deal with depression after divorceSPIRITUAL CONNECTION LITERATURECoping with divorce and depressionSurviving divorce depressionA journey through divorce; grief, anger, depression and lonelinessEPISODE SCRIPTURE - Matthew 11:28Download your copy of the FREE audio How To Heal From Heartbreak now!Get your T-Shirt @ The Christian T-Shirt Company today!All music by - Cxdy