Free Sex

What a dominatrix taught me about universal basic incomeThis is an audio version of an essay from the Free Sex Substack - subscribe now to receive my writing into your inbox, and to support my work.Would you join me in a thought experiment? We all have basic needs, such as food and shelter. And most of us have to cover these ourselves. Even though governments promise to provide our basic needs, people are starving and sleeping rough. We fudge through life trying to make sure we have somewhere nice to rest, and that we can go to bed on a full stomach. I’m thinking through the different freedoms that we each have due to the meeting of our basic needs. If I didn’t pay rent, would I have free sex? Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

What if we didn’t need to work to earn money?My guest in this episode is Eva Oh, a dominatrix who wants everyone to have their basic needs financially covered. This was such a philosophical conversation, and I loved it! Eva argues that we can build a world of free sex if we adopt a universal basic income — people would have more time to investigate their own sexuality, instead of having to work so hard just to cover their basic needs. She shared stories from her own life, including how her own fearlessness has helped her to grow a hugely successful career as a dominatrix. We don’t talk enough about how money (or lack of) holds us back from the sex that we want, so I’m grateful to Eva for bringing this issue onto the podcast. It sounds like a heavy topic, but in Eva’s hands it’s also fun and mind-expanding. Let me know what you think!A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

How can we flip the script on what sex and relationships can be?My guest in this episode is Silva Neves, who is a psychosexual and relationships psychotherapist. Silva sees all sorts of clients with different challenges to do with sex and relationships, so he’s a fascinating person to talk to about free sex. His big idea is that we need to know ourselves without the influences of society. That’s a hard task, of course! But Silva broke it down for me. We talked about the power of films and stories, the question of what’s ‘natural’ when it comes to sex and relationships, and even how to resist answering the question ‘So when are you going to get married?’A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

Should we change our sexuality labels?My guest in this episode is Richard Sprott, a psychologist and sexuality researcher. Richard’s been exploring human sexuality for 20 years but says he’s still “at the beginning” of understanding it. His principle, developing, idea is about ‘kink identity’—which could help us to get to a world of free sex.The idea is that our kink identities can be just as significant as our sexual orientations. In fact, for some people, much more so. Richard and his colleagues have used their findings from lots of studies to propose that we can place our sexualities into different themes of kink experience, namely sex, power, headspace and community. It’s a super interesting framing that could change how we view each other, sexually. A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

Do we all share a communal sexual energy that’s just waiting to be activated?My guest in this episode is Kalah Hill, and she thinks the answer is definitely yes! Kalah works with individuals and groups of people to help them to discover and channel their sexual energies. She’s all about rooting our sexual pleasures in our bodies, our spirits, our ecosystems and our histories. So she was a fascinating guest for Free Sex.We talked about how Kalah creates play parties, the history of ‘eros’ from the Ancient Greeks, the science of music and frequencies, and sex education. It was such a deep and interesting conversation, and I’d love to know what you think about Kalah’s ideas and practices. Let me know! A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

How can we create non-judgemental sex clubs and dancefloors?My guest in this episode is Diana Isi, who is part of the underground queer scene in London. As a DJ, Diana helps to create precious spaces where people come together to feel good, feel sexy, to dance, to commune, to kiss and maybe more. Diana’s vision for free sex is spaces like this, which operate without judgement or labels or categories. She told me about her own experiences on the gay male scene and how they led her into the queer underground, her process for creating music that makes people want to fuck (or snog at least!), and about the politics of creating non-judgemental club nights. It was a deep and heartfelt conversation about something that’s essential for us both, and I’m grateful to Diana for joining me in that.A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production