Free Sex

Is group sex the way to a better world?My guest in this episode is Leanne Yau, who runs the @polyphiliablog viral accounts across social media. Leanne is a polyamory educator who, among many other things, wants people to know more about group sex. Leanne told me how group sex and polyamory are different; and then we went on to discuss the social politics of it all. From the question of whether more people are getting into group sex to the need to de-stigmatise polyamory, Leanne has a lot to say! She also wants you to know that if group sex is something you fancy, you should try it — and Leanne can help you do it well. It’s a great conversation and Leanne is great fun as a guest!A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

Are sex events and fetish gear too expensive?My guest in this episode is Matt Skully, who’s a performer, curator, events producer and occasional sex worker. His heart is as big as his desires as dark—and he’s got a long list of ideas that could make sex more financially accessible to people. Fetish gear costs money, event tickets aren’t getting cheaper, and sometimes you have to travel big, expensive distances to get to the place where you can enjoy the sex you want.  We don’t talk enough about how wealth inequality holds us back from sex (although check out episode 040 with Eva Oh!), so I was thrilled that Matt wanted to talk about this. I really enjoyed hearing about his experiences working the door in fetish clubs, and talking through his ideas for how we can build a world of free sex. A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

Can we find a way to take sex seriously?My guest in this episode is Anastasiia Fedorova, a latex lover and author of a book called Second Skin: Inside the Worlds of Fetish, Kink and Deviant Desire. Anastasiia takes her subject so seriously that she’s built it into her life—and written a whole book about it. I was fascinated to hear more about the research she’s done for the book, from fetishes for cars, monsters and medical gloves, as well as the classics such as feet, latex and leather. As a queer kinky person from Russia, Anastasiia also makes a good case for why it’s important to know the history and politics of sex topics.You can pre-order the book now, including from Bookshop.org.A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

What if sexuality wasn’t a spectrum?My guest in this episode is Sari Van Anders, who is a very multi-faceted scientist and thinker. Drawing on her experience in behavioural science and neuroscience, plus gender and queer thinking, Sari and her team have built an incredibly refreshing concept for how we can think of ourselves as sexual beings.We tend to think of our gender and sex as one thing, and that we are attracted to others based on their gender and sex (eg, I’m a man who fancies men so I’m gay). But it’s much more complicated than that! Which is why I just say I’m ‘queer’! Sexual Configurations Theory (SCT), which is Sari’s idea, includes other factors like how many partners you fancy, how body parts are distinct from gender identities, and the relative strength of different kinks in making up our desire. I’d love to know what you think of SCT — listen to Sari and let me know ;) A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

How should we regulate sex clubs?My guest in this episode is Karl Verboten, one of the masterminds behind one of London’s greatest kink club nights, Klub Verboten.Karl told me the story of how Klub Verboten had to fight an archaic licensing system in order to hold parties that are sex-positive and safe at the same time. It’s a really fascinating story to do with local politics, legal regulations, the relationship between club promoters and the police — and it even involves kinky people sending sexy photos of themselves to the local council!Karl has discovered that good sex spaces require dialogue between promoters and the authorities. Together, Karl believes, they are creating a new culture around sex spaces that places ‘traditional knowledge’ from the kink community at its heart. A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production

Are sex-positive people too self-righteous?My guest in this episode is Zachary Zane, a writer whose work focuses on sex and, well, his own experiences as a bisexual slut. Zach literally wrote the book on being a Boyslut.Zach came on Free Sex to talk about how writers like him (and me), and anyone else talking about sex politics, can improve how we talk about sex. If we are hoping to build a world of free sex, we need to share information about sex in a way that doesn’t alienate people or ‘call them out’. I was super interested in hearing Zach’s opinions on this, mixed with his own experiences of writing about sex. We even discussed the backlash to Zach’s writings about STIs, and how that was an example of why we need to talk about sex in a more loving and compassionate way.A transcript of this episode is available on freesex.substack.com. Hosted, produced and edited by Adam ZmithMusic: Translife by OthonArtwork: photo of Borneo mealworm by @DamasterCarabus / design by Adam Zmith and Rebecka ÖbergExecutive Producer: Tash WalkerAn Aunt Nell Production