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Football Ramble

Tender Loving Football

The Champions League is back! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete run the rule over last night’s clashes, which proved that all you need for European success is a couple of brave English boys and King Kylian.


We also check in with some potential Mauricio Pochettino alternatives at the Bridge, Richarlison auditions for Curb Your Enthusiasm and Sean Dyche parachutes in to save the UK government. Plus: which McDonald’s menu item would make the best shin pads?


Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.


Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble.


***Please take the time to rate us on Spotify. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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  • Zlatan “Jason Tindall” Ibrahimović

    43:40|
    The Premier League season is fast approaching and Luke, Jim, Vish and Andy have worked out how Arsenal can finally get to Man City and win the league… Hire Zlatan Ibrahimović in the Jason Tindall role.Today, we hear how Zlatan’s beef with Pep Guardiola is still raging on in 2024. Elsewhere, news has broken that West Ham might be signing a new forward for the 56th time under their current ownership. Plus, Vish auditions to be Gennaro Gattuso’s interpreter.Sometimes may be bat, sometimes may be foot…We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***
  • Introducing: Ramble Uncut

    21:52|
    Today, we're bringing you a special teaser of what you can expect every week on the Football Ramble Patreon.For just $5 a month, you'll get an extended version of every Wednesday episode of the Ramble, which features 20 minutes of Ramble Uncut! Think spicy takes you won't get on the main show, correspondence from other Patreon subscribers, behind-the-scenes news and regular updates from Matt Le Tissier's newsletter (obviously). Starting today, any new Patreon sign-ups can get 15% off an annual subscription! You'll get extended episodes of every Wednesday episode (meaning you'll get to hear Ramble Uncut every week), as well as access to our Discord and ad-free versions of every Ramble, On The Continent and Upfront episodes. Just head to patreon.com/footballramble now!We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***
  • Brucey Shot the Sheriff

    41:45|
    Bad news, everyone: the Amazon seller who sold Pete a durian for us to try today had to cancel the order due to “supply chain issues.” More news as we get it.That leaves Pete, Luke and Jim with plenty of time to tuck into some other breaking news: Mick McCarthy and Roy Keane’s debuts in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Plus, Arsenal sign Italian defending dreamboat Riccardo Calafiori, Conor Gallagher might be about to buy an interrailing ticket to Madrid and Steve Bruce eyes up the next season of Death in Paradise. Plus, which footballer would make the best medieval blacksmith?We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***
  • I’m bringing a durian

    42:52|
    Need some good old-fashioned espionage sorting out, but don’t have access to a drone or a two-way mirror? Pete Donaldson is now available for hire!He’s joined by Luke and Jim in a suspicious room full of cameras and microphones to talk about pre-season happenings and fresh outcry about the possibility of Premier League matches overseas. Meanwhile, there are fishcake protests in Norway and – at long last – a proper punch in a football match. Plus, you won't find a better durian-based fact on any other podcast than this one today. Guaranteed. So come join us!We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***
  • Football Ramble’s Best of 23/24: Part 4

    33:59|
    The finale is here! And Pete brings perhaps the best episode of the lot for you today. We pick things up at the start of April, where barns were burning everywhere, Nottingham Forest’s X admin was setting fire to bridges everywhere, and the Premier League approached its exciting conclusion.And don’t forget some memorable s**thousery overseas – from suspicious activity in Hungary’s U14s league, to a Dutch referee officiating a game and then lifting the title for one of the teams. All that and much more on today’s final Football Ramble Best Of 2023/24!We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***
  • Football Ramble’s Best of 23/24: Part 3

    29:30|
    In case anyone is unsure, Sean Connery is in fact no longer with us. Are you paying attention Vish?Pete’s back with another collection of the best moments from the 23/34 season. Today, we head into 2024 and revisit Jurgen Klopp announcing he was leaving Liverpool, Neil Warnock joining Aberdeen, and the time Sunderland slagged off one of their club legends. Oh and yes… Vish forgot Sean Connery had died, in case you hadn't noticed.We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***
  • Football Ramble’s Best of 23/24: Part 2

    38:09|
    Your Chief Keystone Cop Pete Donaldson is back with more of our favourite moments from the season that was. Today, we’ve got Manchester United’s Champions League adventures, lard mafias from Horsham, and a heartwarming poem about Emi Martinez. Come join us!We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.
  • Football Ramble’s Best of 23/24: Part 1

    31:17|
    The new club season is almost upon us! But before kick-off, we’re reliving our favourite moments from 2023/24.Today, Pete takes you back to the opening months of the season which began with Harry Kane finally saying goodbye to Tottenham (after spending 4-6 hours in a north London safe house, of course). Meanwhile, we said hello to Mauricio Pochettino’s lemons, Jason Tindall and the PIF Posse. Oh, and the internet went into meltdown over VAR. Remember Tottenham vs Liverpool? Yeah… Listen to relive all that and more!We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***
  • A dildo to the heart

    56:37|
    Before you listen to this episode, we want to set one thing straight: despite Pete’s accusations, Marcus does not smoke crack cocaine. All right? All right.Marcus, Jim and Pete catch up with the world of club football and quickly remember why Harry Redknapp definitely still records Match of the Day on his YouView box. The FA continue their hunt for the next England manager, with Eddie Howe now taking centre stage – Marcus, though, still thinks they’ll hold out for Pep Guardiola! Plus, unconfirmed reports that the Saudis are willing to pay Oasis to get back together as well as cover Ederson’s £900,000-per-week wages…We're back on stage and tickets are out NOW! Join us at London Palladium on Friday September 20th 2024 for 'Football Ramble: Time Tunnel', a journey through football history like no other. Expect loads of laughs, all your Ramble favourites, and absolutely everything on Pete's USB stick. Get your tickets at footballramblelive.com!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***