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Football Ramble

Diplomacy Has No Place In My House

The Football Ramble, the original and best football podcast. Brand new podcasts every single weekday throughout the Premier League season and every day throughout the 2026 FIFA World Cup.

No cliches. No ex-pros like Peter Crouch or The Rest is Football. Just the funniest football conversation out there. Your guardian for the season, daily not weekly. Stick to the Ramble, totally.

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  • England vs Argentina Preview: Where’s Geller when you need him? | 2026 FIFA World Cup

    35:15|
    You can count on one hand the number of times Marcus' aunt has been giddier. England are in the bloomin' semi-finals of the World Cup TONIGHT! Argentina await... feeling nervous yet?Marcus is joined by Luke and Jim to look ahead to one of the biggest games in English football history. Can the England defence stop Lionel Messi? Will Jude Bellingham shine again? And will we see Thomas Tuchel celebrating at full-time by riding his bike, ice cream in hand, around a supermarket car park?Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here.Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** 
  • Weird, even for a taxidermist | 2026 FIFA World Cup

    39:34|
    And guess what? France got absolutely stuffed last night. Marcus, Luke and Jim gather themselves after a truly devastating display from the Spanish (feat. the devastatingly sexy Ferran Torres) which sent France's superstars packing.But why did France look so clueless? What was Didier Deschamps doing? Marcus wonders why he didn't send on France's certified big man, while Luke goes full Roy Keane on the calamitous Lucas Digne. Elsewhere, Erling Haaland brings home some taxidermied geezers and don't ask anything about Jim's dungeon, alright? ALRIGHT!Catch our England vs Argentina preview in the episode right above this one! Or watch it back on YouTube here.Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here.Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** 
  • The art of suspension bridges | 2026 FIFA World Cup

    47:16|
    Marcus is back from a top secret intel mission in France, just in time for THE WORLD CUP SEMI-FINALS! Luke and David join him to praise FIFA’s rigorous seeding process - nice one, Gianni.We pick England’s potential poison from the How The Other Half Live Derby, as Spain look to keep a lid on things and France try to smash them into next week. Plus, we send a sweaty Gabriel Clarke to patch up Anglo-Argentine relations and we trace the true origins of FIFA’s grim, unrelenting corruption to… Bristol. Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here.Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** 
  • Give spidercam citizenship | 2026 FIFA World Cup

    51:54|
    ENGLAND ARE THROUGH TO THE LAST FOUR! For just the fourth time in England's history, we have a men's World Cup semi-final to rub our thighs about. Luke and Vish join Pete – who's come painted as a roundabout for the occasion – to unpack another rollercoaster night and another Jude Bellingham masterclass. Is he already England's greatest ever tournament player?We also discuss Thomas Tuchel's post-match interview, revoke Alexander Sørloth's Norwegian citizenship, and try to get our heads around Breel Embolo's monumental headloss as Switzerland fall to Argentina. Which neatly leads Pete onto some rather direct questions about the Falklands. Join us the morning after the night before!Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here.Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** 
  • At our Witsel’s end | 2026 FIFA World Cup

    50:32|
    You’re fighting for your life in a World Cup knockout…. Spain are banging down the door and the pressure’s on… And you turn to unemployed 37-year-old, Axel Witsel. Yeah, cheers Belgium, thanks for coming.Pete, David and Luke bid farewell to our Belgian brethren after unfortunate injuries left them looking like Pete’s over 50’s vets side. We also roll out another Spanish inquisition and look ahead to tonight, where England face both i) a determined Norway side and ii) loads of alligators with sweaty bums.Plus, some actually genuinely breaking news from Pete about a new series in the works…Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here.Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** 
  • The Hartlepool Flymo Massacre | 2026 FIFA World Cup

    41:49|
    France had a beautiful day as they eased past Morocco to reach the semi-finals of the World Cup. Can anyone stop them? Pete, Luke and David reflect on last night’s football on today’s Ramble.Elsewhere, Dan Burn has been doing some big, beautiful backflips. Could owning sheep help teams win the World Cup? Plus, Luke and David question whether Pete really owns a chainsaw.Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here.Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** 
  • Mailbag: Has the 48-team World Cup been a success? | 2026 FIFA World Cup

    31:07|
    With dozens of hours of sleep lost to the sheer chaos of the World Cup schedule over the past month, perhaps a one night break from the football wasn’t the worst thing in the world. And now we’re well rested, it seems like the ideal time to reflect on some of the joy, heartbreak, and downright bafflement the World Cup has offered us so far.Marcus, Luke & Vish are here to answer your World Cup Mailbag questions ahead of the quarter-finals kicking off tonight!Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here.Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** 
  • Wait, are they the good guys? | 2026 FIFA World Cup

    43:46|
    Egypt were on the cusp of an era-defining result, but then… Argentina gonna Argentina. Marcus, Luke and Vish try to work out if the good guys won that outrageous match out in ATL or if THE ENTIRE TOURNAMENT IS MASSIVELY RIGGED.In less goal-happy matters, Charlie lost out to the Chocolate Factory and so Switzerland’s quest to stink out the latter stages continues. Plus, some Mariah Carey-based mind games from Thomas Tuchel leave Tony Baz utterly bemused.Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here.Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** 
  • An "official" FIFA World Cup "flesh spot" | 2026 FIFA World Cup

    49:24|
    Cristiano Ronaldo is out of the World Cup! A lesson to everybody that we all get to a point in life where we simply become nothing more than a nuisance to everyone around us. Cristiano, it's time to call it a day old son.Marcus, Vish & Pete are here to dwell on the downfall of one of football's all-time great players. Plus, the frankly baffling situation that arose from Folarin Balogun's red card against Bosnia, and an "official" FIFA World Cup "flesh spot" as Peter so eloquently put it.Get your Football Ramble x Admiral kit here.Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***