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The Temptation of Edward Cullen Ch 8: Pablo Nightmare

Season 2, Ep. 8

We incorrectly thought this was the penultimate episode! We are both completely exhausted, but are enlivened by this absolute BANGER of a chapter, before being supremely let down when we realise that this is in fact the FINAL CHAPTER of Forbiden Fruit!


Zac makes a throwaway joke about burning bookstores that we then labour the point over until we reach a joke we're happy with, on mic. Listen for the thrilling punchline!!! The discussion gets a little more serious than usual as we go over the burnout and creative guilt that we both - Lucy especially - has been feeling in recent months. Lucy, as usual, pours her little heart out, and Zac, as usual, is both very silly and very wise.


Chapter 8: The Kidnap opens in the change room, Tiaa alone but looking AWESOME. We interrupt ourselves with an update from a goffik correspondent! You can check out the scene from Dance of the Vampires with the goffik, German version of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' here. It's absolutely phenomenal. By the time we return to the narrative, Tiaa has returned home and decided to ditch school. Dave comes in and acts like a BOOFHEAD (that's BOOF with a B, for our international listeners), so Tiaa decides to go out and meet Snoofles at PABLO NIGHTMARE, the goffik club that goes off at 4 PM.


Jacob, the WEREWOLF KING manages to kidnap Tiaa, the witch-vampire with a samurai sword, out from under Snoofles' nose. He rubs his wet mushroom penis against her knee, she gasps, and then Edward BURSTS into the room! We're so excited to find out what will happen next!!!!!!!1!1!!!!!2


You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter @FangfictionPod, or check out our website https://fangfiction.transistor.fm/ to listen to episodes or find links to subscribe to Fangfiction in all the podcast places! You can also sign up for Lucy's Substack at https://lucyhagan.substack.com/ and read some of Zac's fiction at https://h-ne.com/


CONTENT WARNING: mentions of self harm and suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. Support is always available.


AUS: Lifeline 24-Hour Telephone Crisis Support 13 11 14 (24 hours)

USA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (para ayuda en español, llame al 988) or text HELLO to 741741

UK: National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on 0800 689 5652 (open 24/7)

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