AuDHD Podcast for grownups: F Them Fish!

Why can everyday noise feel impossible to ignore when you have AuDHD? In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups, your neurodivergent besties Callie and Jayne talk about noise sensitivity, unexpected change, justice sensitivity, and what happens when something affecting your nervous system sits firmly outside your control.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. Where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me’. We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears, and let’s get started.Jayne has new neighbours. They seem lovely, but they have also brought children, dogs, visitors, music, and considerably more noise into what was previously a very quiet neighbourhood. In this episode, Jayne asks Callie for some coaching advice about what to do when the sound around your home suddenly changes and your nervous system is having very big feelings about it. They talk about AuDHD noise sensitivity, sensory overload, and why home is an important place for recovery and regulation.Callie introduces the circles of control, influence, and concern as a way of thinking through situations that cannot immediately be changed. They discuss whether reframing your thoughts is genuinely helpful, or whether it can feel suspiciously like gaslighting yourself into pretending something is fine.Naturally, the conversation then wanders into fairness, ethical consumer choices, and the personal hills neurodivergent people are prepared to die on. This leads to a few unexpected realisations about justice sensitivity and why some things can feel not just annoying, but fundamentally wrong.In this episode:·        AuDHD and noise sensitivity·        Why some sounds are so difficult to ignore·        Sensory overload at home·        Why home is an important neurodivergent safe space·        Coping when you cannot remove yourself from the noise·        Balancing your sensory needs with other people’s needs·        The circles of control, influence, and concern·        Reframing negative thoughts without dismissing your feelings·        The difference between reframing and toxic positivity·        Feeling hyper-aware of your impact on other people·        Fairness, reciprocity, and resentment·        Neurodivergent justice sensitivity·        Ethical consumer choices and the hills we choose to die on·        How relationships and familiarity can help build empathyTimestamps00:00 Catching up with our besties01:54 Jayne's new neighbours06:51 Noise, boundaries, and competing needs08:47 Sensory sensitivity and accepting what you cannot change11:40 Circles of control, influence, and concern13:22 Reframing16:42 Fairness, reciprocity, and being hyper-aware21:19 Ethical choices, personal values, and the things that stick24:25 Consumer power and voting with your money25:46 Justice sensitivity and the hills we will die on29:51 Queer Quail, Pride Month, and the NeuroQueer EngineersThis conversation is based on Callie and Jayne’s lived and professional experience with AHD and Autism. It is not medical or psychological advice, and neurodivergent people may experience noise, sensory processing, emotional regulation, and justice sensitivity differently.ConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTokSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.Follow or subscribe so you do not miss an episode, and leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.

Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This is the podcast where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me.’ We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears and let’s get started!In this episode, Callie sits down with Twice-Exceptional PB - 11 year-old host of the popular podcast: 'PB's Productions, My ADHD Kids Podcast', that she started when she was only 8 years old!. PB has a lot of insights to share about what it really means to be a kid with ADHD. She talks with an incredible poise and emotional intelligence that most adults would be proud of. There are multiple moments that will make you stop and think a little deeper about the young people in your life, whether you're a parent, teacher, or favourite Aunty. The episode keeps coming back to adults assuming they know, not asking what kids need, and mistaking ADHD challenges for intentional misbehaviour. In a world full of adults explaining ADHD kids, this episode lets an ADHD kid explain it herself. Share this episode with the ADHD kids you know and ask them if they agree, or what they might say differently. And more importantly, share it with any adults who need to hear it. "Try, be you, be kind, and bloom like that sunflower. Bloom bright... Just try, believe in yourself, because you are amazing." PBTimestamps00:15 – Meet PB, ADHD kid podcaster02:05 – “I have a more advanced brain” PB introduces herself as a kid with ADHD, big thoughts, humour and a grown-up way of seeing things.02:44 – If your ADHD brain had a theme song08:19 – PB describes her brain in three words and explains what it is like when funny thoughts arrive at exactly the wrong moment.09:54 – Why PB started her own ADHD podcast and why kids need to hear from other kids, not only adults talking about them.13:56 – ADHD explained by an actual ADHD kid.15:11 – What adults get wrong about ADHD kids17:30 – “I don’t believe you” and “you did it on purpose” two things she wishes adults would stop saying to ADHD kids.19:00 – What is actually cool about ADHD21:07 – ADHD brain control panel24:02 – The ultimate ADHD gadget27:18 – Rapid-fire ADHD would-you-rathers28:58 – The question adults should ask more often “What do you need?” and why that matters.31:18 – The question PB is sick of adults asking and what adults might miss when they judge attention from the outside.34:47 – What to say to ADHD kids who feel too much - a beautiful answer about being the perfect amount for yourself and blooming in your own way.36:40 – ADHD is not about trying harder37:38 – Bloom bright like a sunflower.38:02 – Where to find PB’s podcastConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Ngambri, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples. Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land.

What is adult PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), and what does neurodivergent demand paralysis feel like from the inside? In this episode of F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups, your neurodivergent besties Callie and Jayne dive deep into the PDA cycle, burnout, and why everyday tasks can trigger a nervous system shutdown.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. Where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me’. We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears, and let’s get started.PDA gets discussed constantly online, but it is often reduced to ‘not liking being told what to do’. In this episode, Callie and Jayne dig underneath that explanation. They look at what PDA feels like from the inside and what current research can and cannot tell us.Callie walks through a proposed PDA cycle, from detecting a demand through to the nervous system’s appraisal of effort, uncertainty, safety, sensory discomfort, autonomy, and available capacity. They also discuss why avoidance can provide enough immediate relief to reinforce the pattern, even when it creates more distress later. They explore practical ways to reduce friction, including recognising personal triggers, creating safer sensory conditions, increasing clarity and certainty, protecting capacity, and resisting the idea that every struggle can be fixed by applying more pressure.In this episode:PDA burnout and executive dysfunction in adultsHow to manage PDA paralysisAuDHD (Autism and ADHD) and demand avoidanceDifficult school mornings, parenting guilt, and repairing after things go badlyPDA in everyday lifePathological demand avoidance versus pervasive drive for autonomyWhat science currently knows, and does not know, about PDAWhy PDA is more complicated than anxiety, defiance, or simply disliking demandsHow demands may be assessed for effort, uncertainty, sensory discomfort, safety, and loss of controlThe relationship between stress, executive functioning, and PDA paralysisHow avoidance can reinforce future avoidanceIdentifying triggers and creating more supportive sensory and environmental conditionsSimilarities and differences between PDA and ODDTimestamps00:00 A difficult morning, parenting guilt, and trying to repair10:55 Overwhelm and a real-life PDA segue19:11 PDA explained: pathological demand avoidance and pervasive drive for autonomy25:13 What research can, and cannot, currently tell us about PDA31:06 The PDA cycle: demands, appraisal, stress, and reduced executive access40:30 PDA paralysis, chronic illness, limited capacity, and shame44:49 Why avoidance can temporarily help and reinforce the cycle49:14 What might help: triggers, sensory needs, certainty, and supportive conditions57:07 Why PDA changes with context, safety, capacity, and sensory load01:01:19 PDA versus ODD: similarities, differences, and why neither is a choicePDA remains a developing and contested area. This conversation combines available research discussed during recording with Callie and Jayne’s lived and professional experience. It is not medical advice, and people may understand or describe their experiences differently.ConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.Follow or subscribe so you do not miss an episode, and leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.

Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This is the podcast where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me.’ We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears and let’s get started!Content note: this episode includes discussion of men’s mental health, suicide, mining culture, isolation, alcohol, and the emotional impact of working away from home. Please take care while listening, and use the support links below if anything in this episode brings things up for you.Callie and Jayne are joined by Rhys Heland, a WA mining professional, Callie’s brother-ish, and guest at Pod HQ in The Nook.What starts with Thirsty Merc, email shame, and Callie’s deeply committed front-row concert behaviour becomes a powerful conversation about men’s mental health, mining culture, FIFO-style isolation, and what can happen when men are expected to just keep going.Rhys shares the story of Dragged to the Mines, a Pilbara project that used drag photography to challenge blokey mining culture and open up conversations about masculinity, mental health and suicide. He talks about life in remote mining environments, long swings, tiny dongas, twelve-hour days, fatigue, isolation, welfare checks, alcohol rules, and the reality of trying to stay connected to family and community while working away.The conversation also explores what withdrawal can look like, why going quiet can be a warning sign, and how the smallest conversations can matter. Sometimes the starting point is not a perfect mental health script. Sometimes it is asking about dinner, family, footy, trivia night, or whether someone has spoken to anyone lately.Callie, Jayne and Rhys also talk about the idea of having a code phrase with your people, like “I need seven seconds,” for those moments when explaining everything feels too hard but being alone with it feels worse.This episode is not medical advice. It is three people having a real conversation about men, mental health, neurodivergence, isolation, work, resilience, and the importance of asking the hard questions gently.Timestamps:00:00 – Intro02:00 – Callie REALLY loves Thirsty Merc10:54 – Dragged to the Mines13:28 – Mining, masculinity and mental health15:43 – Isolation16:18 – Being away from family35:30 – Withdrawal35:55 – How men may show distress36:57 – The power of a simple phrase37:34 – Small talk as big talk38:18 – Creating a code43:06 – Neuroplasticity, resilience and mindset51:51 – Asking hard questions gently52:26 – What you can doSupport:Lifeline Australia 24/7 crisis support and suicide preventionCall: 13 11 14Text: 0477 13 11 14https://www.lifeline.org.au/MensLine Australia 24/7 counselling and support for menCall: 1300 78 99 78https://mensline.org.au/Suicide Call Back Service24/7 phone and online counselling for people affected by suicideCall: 1300 659 467https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/Beyond BlueMental health support and men’s mental health resourcesCall: 1300 22 4636https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/mens-mental-healthMATES in MiningSuicide prevention and mental health support for the mining industryhttps://mining.mates.org.au/13YARN24/7 crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peopleCall: 13 92 76https://www.13yarn.org.au/Links Dragged to the MinesSkimpies in WAThirsty MercConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples

Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This is the podcast where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me.’ We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears and let’s get started!Our topic for today is all about how celebrating tiny wins can get you further towards your bigger goals. And please! It's important to keep those bigger goals! Not to beat yourself with, or berate yourself for not achieving them immediately, but because without them, life feels so much smaller. Callie is feeling the restriction of having lower expectations and how that feels the opposite of liberating - it feels suffocating. As neurodivergent people, we can smash through the limited expectations others may place upon us and do truly amazing things. We don't HAVE to, we GET to. Underestimate us. We dare you.Timestamps00:07 Intro01:08 Callie's best birthday ever? Maybe?01:54 The 'wants vs needs' family hack because everyone wants something all the time!04:58 Feeling seen rather than perceived09:30 The six-minute birthday dance video14:59 Listeners, we want your input! Should episodes start with a quick topic signpost?15:41 Rubbish fidgets and blue moon rituals17:49 Emotional and sensory hangovers 19:04 Main topic begins: Celebrating tiny wins20:14 What celebrating tiny wins means for neurodivergent people21:42 Everyday wins, momentum and using small successes to get started24:26 Tiny wins, gratitude practice and undoing years of negative feedback27:12 Who decides what counts as a win?28:47 Tiny wins are not small dreams: building toward bigger goals32:20 Fibro, health progress and finding hope in tiny improvements33:53 Homework - watch the Room to Move doco on Netflix and share your tiny wins with us!ConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples. Always was, always will be.

Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This is the podcast where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me.’ We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears and let’s get started!Callie's brain is unhappy at the fact that she didn't knock off those extra few seconds and make this episode a nice, round 55 minutes! Also... 50 minutes is nowhere near the 30 minutes we keep promising ourselves!In this episode, Callie and Jayne have no technical issues! It's true! That said, Jayne's pod dogs cause a whole other set of issues that lead to Callie singing. Sorry besties, this was a moment we are all going to need to process. We go deep with listener bestie Robbie today, with their question about whether it is really necessary to get an Autism diagnosis as an adult. We're not going to lie, this one feels like a bit of a minefield, but we are committed to having the hard chats and giving you that space you need to talk about these things. Not everyone has a person, or a group of people they can talk with about their neurodivergence or when they feel they are neurodivergent. There are so many reason someone may not have a 'real life' bestie to bounce these things through, so we are honoured when we can be those people for you. We absolutely loved this chat and hopefully, it answers some of your questions about Autism as a grown up.Timestamps00:14 — Welcome, pod dogs, and chaotic bestie energy03:35 — Unexpected moments of connection with strangers can be beautiful05:25 — Teeth brushing and did you know that ADHDers don't form habits?10:15 — Motivation, meds, and mostly practical ADHD systems13:35 — Robbie’s listener email 20:15 — Autism diagnosis and where un/self-diagnosed people fit within the Autism community22:40 — Loneliness29:15 — The weird in-between feeling when you don't have a formal diagnosis31:35 — Imposter feelings and self-doubt34:00 — Is formal diagnosis necessary?39:00 — Practical supports without diagnosis40:55 — When formal diagnosis can matter46:35 — Final thoughts, validation, and listener call-outConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples

Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This is the podcast where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me.’ We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears and let’s get started!It’s Jayne’s birthday, which means tiaras, deli-meat picnics, crystals, birthday queen energy… and an honest chat about why birthdays can feel so complicated when you’re neurodivergent.In this episode, Callie and Jayne talk about the weird pressure of being celebrated, the discomfort of being perceived, and the difference between loving other people’s birthdays and wanting to crawl into a hole on your own. They unpack the emotional load of responding 'properly', performing the right level of joy, and feeling exposed.The conversation takes a very F Them Fish sidequest into sleep deprivation, business overload, rage buying, and whether a digital notebook can, in fact, save your life. Spoiler: possibly not, but we remain emotionally attached to the dream. You should definitely send this to whoever makes the Remarkable notepad though because Callie spent way too much money and would love some retrospective sponsorship if you please!Timestamps01:00 — Welcome to Jayne’s birthday episode!04:44 — Being Perceived when you're neurodivergent13:06 — Sleep deprivation, work overload and shame14:41 — Rage buying YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!31:12 — Interoception and body signals32:03 — Neurodivergent kids and toilet training - it's hard and there is support33:58 — Sensory regulation, music and respecting other people’s joy36:03 — Late diagnosis - unlearning alll that stuff37:00 — Listener question: office gossip40:00 — Listener question: no-one takes me seriously47:00 — Wrap-up, listener love and birthday dinnerConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.

AuDHD for grownups: honest, funny, neurodivergent conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This is the podcast where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me.’ We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears and let’s get started!It's our 50th Episode! We started with a bit of a rant about Mother's Day, then decided to tackle this pervasive idea that there is an 'overdiagnosis crisis' - spoiler alert, we have opinions!We decided after all of that to run through our '50 Things That...' lists in honour of our milestone. We think you'll find something that not only hits you in the feel bone, validates things you always suspected, and gives you some interesting dinner table chats, but our 50 accommodations list might just change your life. What did we miss? Tell us!ConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok at F Them Fish: AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.Timestamps00:00 - Intro and Mother's Day Rant - Cancel it!06:49 - Sidequest: That's not alcohol free!09:14 - Everyone is getting diagnosed nowadays11:58 - Understanding Neurodivergence across Generations14:45 - Generational Neurodivergence in the Workforce17:41 - The Spectrum of Neurodivergence21:02 - 50 signs it was probably AuDHD all along28:45 - Don't iron clothes on your body!30:18 - 50 Things We Wish We'd Known Earlier38:09 - 50 Tiny Accommodations That Changed Our Lives46:31 - Contact us if you want to know more about accommodations47:41 - 'Sorry' is the armour we wear to protect ourselves48:52 - 50 Things We No Longer Apologize For56:17 - Reflecting and outro