AuDHD Podcast for grownups: F Them Fish!

What does AuDHD rage actually feel like? And is anger even the right word for it?In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, Callie and Jayne dive into the reality of emotional intensity in adult ADHD, autism, and AuDHD. If your neurodivergent nervous system goes from completely fine to ABSOLUTELY NOT due to sensory overwhelm, a meltdown, or sudden anger, you’re not alone.This isn’t an episode about neurodivergent people being angry, because if the difficult emotions hit hard, neurodivergent joy is just as loud.We explore why conversations about adult neurodivergence and emotional regulation focus so heavily on rejection sensitivity, frustration, and dysregulation while overlooking enthusiasm, awe, excitement, love and the glorious kind of joy that makes you want to kick your feet because there are king parrots in the garden.We also tackle a tough question: when does validating an emotion help us move through it, and when does validation accidentally trap us in rumination?In this episode:The myth of ADHD rage vs. what the research supportsEmotional reactivity and rapid mood shifts in adult ADHDSensory overload, panic, and the fight/flight responseWhy anger can feel saferAutistic communication, flat affect, and being mistaken for angryVenting, passionate speech, and how it impacts people around usExploring the neurodivergent window of toleranceRumination vs. validation: finding your logical brain againThe joyful side of neurodivergent emotional intensityFinding your tiny, ridiculous, wonderful sources of joyMetacognition, anxiety, and learning to trust your intuitionPattern recognition, dating choices, and ‘Deb’Timestamps:00:11 Welcome, chest pops, and absolutely no normal02:34 Today’s topic10:28 What we mean by neurodivergent rage12:12 Why does research focus heavily on negative emotions?15:42 Late diagnosis, and finding the joy again18:06 Suggestibility, self-talk, and changing your story20:41 Validation versus rumination: moving through it25:39 Is ADHD rage a real thing?27:03 Autistic flat affect, passionate speech, and being misunderstood29:02 When one person recovers quickly and the other doesn’t31:01 Sensory overwhelm, panic, meltdowns, and rage36:35 Nervous-system reactivity and emotional intensity38:14 The neurodivergent window of tolerance40:42 When your joy is too much42:18 Rage, frustration, passion, and the full emotional range45:29 Squishmallows, parrots, and finding joy47:31 Listener question: intuition, anxiety, and Deb51:28 Confirmation bias in dating patterns55:40 Are we sometimes too busy being nice to help each other grow?59:04 See you next week, Besties!A quick note:ADHD rage is not a clinical diagnosis. This conversation combines research-informed discussion with our own lived experience of ADHD, autism, and AuDHD. It isn’t medical or mental health advice, and neurodivergent people are every bit as varied as everyone else.Acknowledgment:We acknowledge the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung peoples, the Traditional Custodians of the lands from which we record and pay our respects to Elders past and present.Connect with us:Email: fthemfish@gmail.comSocials: Find us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them FishCallie's Website: executivefunctioning.com.auLinkedIn: Callie: www.linkedin.com/in/callie-elward-barrett-263068142 Jayne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayne-gurton-About the Show:AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish is all about real conversations for late-diagnosed adults navigation adult ADHD, autism, AuDHD, neurodivergent relationships, work, emotional regulation, sensory overwhelm, and figuring out your brain as a grown-up. 

Are Neurodivergent People More Intuitive?Why do so many autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD people describe simply knowing something before they can explain why?In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, Callie and Jayne dive deep into the neuroscience and lived experience behind neurodivergent intuition. We unpack the thin line between a true gut feeling and trauma-informed hypervigilance, exploring how our brains process the world around us.In This Episode:The Neuroscience of Intuition: How rapid processing and predictive processing create unconscious knowing.Pattern Recognition vs. Hypervigilance: Distinguishing genuine intuition from anxiety, trauma responses, and rejection sensitivity.The Body Connection: The vital role of interoception and what a literal gut feeling means for an AuDHD brain.Masking & Self-Trust: How years of social monitoring and masking cause us to override our own internal signals.Are We Psychic?: A lighthearted look at why neurodivergent people frequently joke about having a sixth sense.Timestamps00:00 – Welcome04:03 – Big changes for Jayne07:35 – Callie's Melbourne adventures and Dame Jacinda14:54 – What do we mean by intuition?20:11 – Is there neuroscience behind intuition?22:10 – Jayne's journey back into her body and trusting herself25:45 – Spirituality, skepticism, and understanding intuition28:31 – ADHD, hypervigilance, and taking in ALL the information34:13 – Autism and enhanced pattern recognition39:36 – Predictive processing: Is the brain predicting what comes next?42:10 – Interoception and the literal gut feeling48:37 – Hypervigilance, trauma, intuition, or anxiety?50:35 – Masking and learning not to trust yourself55:32 – Are neurodivergent people psychic?1:00:30 – A practical way to investigate your intuition1:02:34 – Listener questions & Callie’s shameful unreleased episode vault Hello, hello, and welcome!We are your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. We talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, identity, and all the things we wish someone had explained earlier.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Disclaimer: This episode shares lived experience and general discussion of research, neurodivergence, trauma, fibromyalgia, somatic practices, and wellbeing. It is not medical or psychological advice. Connect With UsEmail: fthemfish@gmail.comSocials: Find us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them FishCallie’s Website: https://executivefunctioning.com.au/Callie on LinkedIn: Connect with CallieJayne on LinkedIn: Connect with JayneAuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish is a podcast about adult ADHD, autism, AuDHD, neurodivergence, executive functioning, masking, burnout, relationships, work, identity, and figuring out grown-up life with a differently wired brain. 

Ever feel like your executive function completely packed its bags and left? If you are an AUDHD adult riding the hormonal rollercoaster, you are not losing your mind. Your hormones are just messing with your brain chemistry.This week, we are diving into the chaotic intersection of ADHD, AuDHD, and perimenopause. Spoiler alert: this is not a dry medical lecture. We are talking real, lived-experience chatter about what actually happens when estrogen drops and ADHD traits dial up to eleven. From sensory overloads and catastrophic brain fog, to why your usual coping strategies suddenly stop working, we are breaking down the unfiltered reality of mid-life hormonal shifts. We also look at how this impacts the parenting journey, why women are fighting for testosterone access, the reality of manopause, the hidden pink tax on female hormones, the anxiety ADHD autism pipeline, why perimenopause absolutely counts as an acquired form of neurodivergence, and why you do not need an official diagnosis to start advocating for your health.We can guarantee you’ve never heard ANYONE talking about estrogen and dopamine like this! What did she say?? Dopamine does what??Whether you are officially diagnosed, self-identified, or just trying to figure out why everything feels ten times harder lately, pull up a chair. Let's figure out what the hell is happening together.Timestamps00:00 Catch ups, spring cleaning, and life updates03:00 Late diagnosed neurodivergence and the hormonal storm04:24 Keeping it real: Our official non-medical disclaimer05:44 Overwhelm, frantic schedules, and a car crash update13:37 Pushing through severe vertigo, double vision, and the 2011 Brixton riots18:50 The core science: Estrogen, dopamine, and diagnosis peak at age thirty-seven22:50 The layperson guide to brain chemistry: Dopaminergic neurons, inhibitors, and estrogen lube28:40 Survival strategies, the DSM-5, and adult diagnosis history33:04 Testosterone and the pink tax36:15 The big debate: Is perimenopause a temporary or acquired form of neurodivergence?40:06 Hormone testing, MHT, and clinical myths47:13 Pregnancy and the anxiety, ADHD, autism connection49:42 How to talk to your doctor and medical gaslighting59:30 Final side quest: MySpace, old emo pages1:05:55 See you next time!Connect With UsEmail: fthemfish@gmail.comSend us an email to get your copy of Callie’s dandelion neurodivergence graphic!Got a perimenopause, ADHD, AuDHD, hormone, or is this just me? question? Send it to Jayne (with a Y) there are no dumb questions.Find us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them FishCallie's Website: https://executivefunctioning.com.au/ LinkedIn: Callie: www.linkedin.com/in/callie-elward-barrett-263068142 Jayne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayne-gurton-/References European Psychiatry Journal study on the intersection of estrogen, dopamine, and late-stage neurodivergence: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/european-psychiatry/article/perimenopausal-symptoms-in-women-with-and-without-adhd-a-populationbased-cohort-study/7C584E5C4363EBCADFC485D3F0892A62 Follow Dr Mary Haver on Instagram and TikTok for accessible women's health updates.Crappy to Happy podcast hosted by Cass Dunn, featuring insights on estrogen and cognitive health.Medical DisclaimerWe are not doctors, medical professionals, or scientists. We are just two AuDHD grown-ups sharing our experiences, research, and frustrations. Menopausal Hormone Therapy (MHT) updates shared here are purely for conversational purposes. Always consult a healthcare professional for medical advice. 

In this special in-person episode recorded in Melbourne’s CBD, Jayne sits down with author Sarah Rosse to discuss her debut memoir, So, Who Are You Anyway?Sarah shares the raw, keep getting up reality of supporting her son through a mental health crisis and suicide attempt at age 16. This is a conversation about the surreal days that follow a crisis, the family members often forgotten in the chaos, and finding gold in the cracks of our lives.Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of suicide and a suicide attempt. It also includes a brief mention of the loss of a baby. Please take care while listening and skip this one if these topics aren't right for you today. This podcast is for entertainment and community purposes only. We are not a medical or therapy podcast - please don't take anything said here as medical or therapeutic advice.Correction: During the conversation, Sarah refers to the loss of her baby as happening in 2021. This was a verbal slip -  the loss actually occurred in 2012.In this episode, we cover:The Aftermath: The out-of-body feeling of the days following a crisis and the pressure to show life goes on.Kintsugi Healing: How the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold became a metaphor for Sarah’s life and her work with Kintsugi Heroes.The Forgotten Siblings: Practical ways to support brothers and sisters who are often overlooked during a mental health emergency.Writing as Medicine: Using journaling to stop the blur and process grief, shame, and disbelief.Living Grief: Understanding the loss of a baby in-utero and how we carry different types of grief.Exclusive Scoop: Sarah reveals details about her second book and her 100 Conversations project.Timestamps00:00 – Intro01:24 – Sarah’s story 02:30 – Navigating a child’s mental health crisis as a parent05:26 – Kintsugi and embracing the perfectly imperfect08:54 – Reframing shame and sharing stories 10:37 – The forgotten family members in a mental health crisis17:46 – Navigating the mental health system20:00 – The advocacy gap for neurokin22:10 – The impact of neurodiversity in a mental health journey 27:31 – The role of schools32:38 – Dismantling traditional thinking36:21 – Grief and its complexities 41:43 – Answering the question, So, who are you anyway?42:39 – Advice for parents facing their child’s mental health crisis 44:11 – Journalling for neurodivergent brains45:48 – An exclusive scoop just for our besties… 47:28 – Getting in touch If you or someone you know is navigating similar challenges, remember that you are not alone. If this episode has brought up anything for you, please reach out to any of the resources below.  Emergency & Immediate Crisis SupportEmergency Services: Call 000 if life or safety is at riskSuicideLine Victoria: Call 1300 651 251 (24/7 free professional phone and online counselling for Victorians)Lifeline: Call 13 11 14 (24/7 national crisis support and suicide prevention).Suicide Call Back Service: Call 1300 659 467 (24/7 free national phone and online counselling) Specialised Support Lines13 YARN: Call 13 92 76 (24/7 national crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people)Beyond Blue: Call 1300 224 636 (24/7 general mental health and support).QLife / Switchboard Victoria: Call 1800 184 527 (Peer support and referral for LGBTIQA+)Kids Helpline: Call 1800 55 1800 (24/7 support for ages 5 to 25) Bereavement and Postvention SupportSupport After Suicide: Visit Support After Suicide or call 1800 943 415 for grief support and specialised resourcesStandBy Support After Suicide: Visit StandBy Support After Suicide for local community postvention assistance Kintsugi Heroes: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/ Sarah’s Website: https://www.intentionalwritingforwellness.com/ Sarah’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/sarah_rosse_author/ Sarah’s Book: https://books.google.com.au/books/about/So_Who_Are_You_Anyway.html?id=4iAN0gEACAAJ&redir_esc=y Get in touch: fthemfish@gmail.com or find us on socials. 

Why can a positive change you planned and genuinely wanted leave you dysregulated, exhausted, and desperate to get back to normal?In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, your neurodivergent besties Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton unpack why late-diagnosed adults crave novelty and freedom but desperately rely on structure, systems, and predictable anchor points to prevent neurodivergent burnout.After a side quest involving a kangaroo collision, a battered Mazda, and a fancy stay at the Sofitel Melbourne, Callie and Jayne respond to a listener question from an AuDHDer whose daily structure was disrupted by several weeks of house guests.They explore why being highly organised is less about productivity and more about protecting nervous-system capacity, memory, energy, and sensory regulation. Hear how to navigate ADHD and autism routine disruption, set clear boundaries, and create low-effort anchor points without trying to rebuild everything while you are already overwhelmed.This podcast was created on the traditional lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples. We pay our respects to Elders past, present, and emerging. In This Episode:Why positive change can still trigger intense autistic and ADHD overwhelmHow routines act as essential scaffolding for memory and sensory regulationWhy capable-looking AuDHD adults may be hanging on by a threadOvercoming the shame of wanting visitors, holidays, or disruptions to endThe physical cost of masking and the need for safe places to resetHow to design flexible, temporary routines around your current energy levelsUsing clear communication and shared plans with family or house guestsLow-effort, stabilizing habits rather than trying to fix everything at onceWhy checking your basic physiological needs (food, water, rest, movement) must come firstAllowing yourself intentional, guilt-free recovery time when normal life finally returns Timestamps 00:00 – Neurodivergent travel stories with an unexpected American sidequest06:17 – Two weeks off routine and the immediate impact of losing daily structure09:52 – The kangaroo collision and arriving at a luxury hotel with half a car23:15 – Listener Q&A: Why do planned, positive changes slowly trigger autistic overwhelm?30:43 – When being highly organized is actually vital nervous-system support34:00 – Late-diagnosed AuDHD masking: Dropping unrealistic, unsustainable standards to prevent burnout36:36 – Brain scaffolding, using routines as systems for memory, energy, and sensory regulation38:37 – How to build temporary, low-demand routines when your capacity drops42:55 – Boundary setting: Protecting your peace and creating shared expectations with house guests45:34 – Micro-anchors - stabilizing, low-effort anchor points to reduce daily overwhelm48:02 – The nervous system pyramid: checking basic physical needs first49:33 – Giving yourself permission to rest when life finally returns to normal51:54 – The ultimate paradox: How AuDHD adults navigate the constant tug-of-war between needing novelty and needing structure Connect With UsWatch & Follow: Find us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok at @FThemFishGet In Touch: Send your stories, listener questions, ADHD tax confessions, guest ideas, and feedback to fthemfish@gmail.comAuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish is an honest, funny podcast about ADHD, Autism, work, relationships, sensory overload, burnout, identity, late diagnosis, rest, overthinking, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis. Follow or subscribe on your favourite player so you never miss an episode, and please leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.This episode shares lived experiences and practical ideas for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not medical, clinical, or psychological advice.

What does neuroinclusive leadership actually look like, and can empathy, active listening, adaptability, and emotional intelligence be learned?In this solo deep dive, Jayne translates the findings from her Master of Leadership research into practical, plain-English lessons for leaders, workplaces, and neurodivergent employees.Hello, hello, and welcome to AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. We talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, sensory needs, identity, and all the messy bits in between. With Callie taking a well-earned break, Jayne hijacks the pod in full corporate boss-baddie mode to unpack her thesis, Empowering Neuroinclusivity: Exploring the Role of Leadership in Cultivating Neuroinclusive Workplace Culture. She explores why leadership is central, not incidental, to neuroinclusive workplaces, why empathy is a skill, and why inclusion requires much more than a quiet room or a one-off training day. (And yes, she would now like to be addressed as Master Jayne). In this episode, we talk about:The shift from treating neurodivergence as a deficit to recognizing cognitive diversity as an organizational strengthThe learnable skills behind neuroinclusive leadership, including empathy, active listening, emotional intelligence, and adaptabilityWhy intersectionality matters, and why support cannot focus on one part of a person in isolationHow language, communication, and growth mindset shape identity, safety, and belonging at workPhysical, social, and organisational environments, and why accommodations are only one piece of the puzzleMicroaggressions, allyship, accessible recruitment, and the risk of quietly filtering neurodivergent people outWhat is still missing from the research, including a clear leadership framework built around neuroinclusive practiceTimestamps 00:35 - Jayne hijacks the pod03:12 - The thesis and research questions06:35 - From medical deficit to organizational strength10:55 - Intersectionality: it is never just one thing15:19 - Language, identity, and empowerment20:32 - Physical, social, and organizational environments25:34 - What the research still does not tell us30:13 - The big takeaway: neuroinclusive leadership skills can be learned Disclaimer: This episode shares research interpretation and lived experience. It is not medical, therapeutic, or legal advice.Connect with us:Find us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish. Send us your questions, workplace stories, examples of leadership that made a real difference, or your latest ADHD taxes!Email us at: mailto:Fthemfish@gmail.comKeywords:Neuroinclusive leadership | AuDHD at work | neurodiversity in the workplace | ADHD leadership | autistic employees | workplace inclusion | psychological safety | reasonable adjustments | inclusive leadership

In this short podcast update, Callie explains why we are taking a week off, asks for listener feedback, and gives ADHD and AuDHD grownups permission to rest, be present, and do a little bit less.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Hello, hello, and welcome to AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. Where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me’. We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.This is not quite a full episode, besties. It is a short update from Callie, because we are taking a week off and, in true ADHD fashion, forgot to tell you.It is school holidays in Australia, the house is full of kids, Tech Guy is also taking some time off, and Callie is trying to be properly present with family. Because honestly, what is the point of working for yourself if you never let yourself use that flexibility?This update is also about rest, guilt, and the pressure to keep producing, even when your actual life needs you. Callie gives you official permission to do less, pause without earning it through total burnout, and stop being everything to everyone all the time.We also want your feedback. What do you want more of? What do you like? What is missing? What questions, ADHD tax stories, mortifying moments, overthinking spirals, or guest suggestions do you want to send us?Timestamps00:00 We are taking a week off00:55 School holidays, family time, and being present01:28 We want your feedback02:10 Send us your questions, stories, ADHD tax, and overthinking spirals03:10 Follow, subscribe, and help the algorithm03:49 Permission to do less04:41 You do not have to be everything to everyone05:01 Upcoming guests and what is coming next05:24 See you next week, bestiesThis short update includes Callie’s lived and professional perspective on rest, work, family, and doing less. It is not medical, psychological, or workplace advice.ConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok at F Them Fish AuDHD for GrownupsSend your stories, questions, ADHD tax, guest ideas, and feedback to mailto:fthemfish@gmail.comAuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish is an honest, funny podcast about ADHD, Autism, work, relationships, sensory overload, burnout, identity, late diagnosis, rest, overthinking, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.Follow or subscribe so you do not miss an episode and leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.

Why can everyday noise feel impossible to ignore when you have AuDHD? In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups, your neurodivergent besties Callie and Jayne talk about noise sensitivity, unexpected change, justice sensitivity, and what happens when something affecting your nervous system sits firmly outside your control.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Hello, hello, and welcome to F Them Fish: AuDHD for Grownups with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. Where we talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, overwhelm, identity, and all the weird little things that make you think, ‘surely it’s not just me’. We’re honest, occasionally sweary, and very much not interested in pretending to be polished.Grab a beverage, or body double some life admin with us in your ears, and let’s get started.Jayne has new neighbours. They seem lovely, but they have also brought children, dogs, visitors, music, and considerably more noise into what was previously a very quiet neighbourhood. In this episode, Jayne asks Callie for some coaching advice about what to do when the sound around your home suddenly changes and your nervous system is having very big feelings about it. They talk about AuDHD noise sensitivity, sensory overload, and why home is an important place for recovery and regulation.Callie introduces the circles of control, influence, and concern as a way of thinking through situations that cannot immediately be changed. They discuss whether reframing your thoughts is genuinely helpful, or whether it can feel suspiciously like gaslighting yourself into pretending something is fine.Naturally, the conversation then wanders into fairness, ethical consumer choices, and the personal hills neurodivergent people are prepared to die on. This leads to a few unexpected realisations about justice sensitivity and why some things can feel not just annoying, but fundamentally wrong.In this episode:·        AuDHD and noise sensitivity·        Why some sounds are so difficult to ignore·        Sensory overload at home·        Why home is an important neurodivergent safe space·        Coping when you cannot remove yourself from the noise·        Balancing your sensory needs with other people’s needs·        The circles of control, influence, and concern·        Reframing negative thoughts without dismissing your feelings·        The difference between reframing and toxic positivity·        Feeling hyper-aware of your impact on other people·        Fairness, reciprocity, and resentment·        Neurodivergent justice sensitivity·        Ethical consumer choices and the hills we choose to die on·        How relationships and familiarity can help build empathyTimestamps00:00 Catching up with our besties01:54 Jayne's new neighbours06:51 Noise, boundaries, and competing needs08:47 Sensory sensitivity and accepting what you cannot change11:40 Circles of control, influence, and concern13:22 Reframing16:42 Fairness, reciprocity, and being hyper-aware21:19 Ethical choices, personal values, and the things that stick24:25 Consumer power and voting with your money25:46 Justice sensitivity and the hills we will die on29:51 Queer Quail, Pride Month, and the NeuroQueer EngineersThis conversation is based on Callie and Jayne’s lived and professional experience with AHD and Autism. It is not medical or psychological advice, and neurodivergent people may experience noise, sensory processing, emotional regulation, and justice sensitivity differently.ConnectFind us on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTokSend your stories and questions to FThemFish@gmail.comAuDHD for grownups: honest, funny conversations about work, relationships, sensory overload, identity, and the stuff nobody explains after diagnosis.Follow or subscribe so you do not miss an episode, and leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.