Share

cover art for Inside a Shame Storm with Melinda Delisle

Dysfunctional

Inside a Shame Storm with Melinda Delisle

Season 1, Ep. 51
•

What if those moments where you’re convinced you’re a horrible person who “shouldn’t even be here” aren’t proof that you’re broken… but that you’re in what my guest calls a shame storm?


In this episode I’m joined by Melinda Delisle, MS LCCE – clinical nutritionist, former childbirth educator, and someone who has spent years navigating intense emotional dysregulation herself. We talk honestly about what it actually feels like inside a shame storm, why some of the most popular “healing tools” can make it worse, and how food, supplements and nervous system health quietly drive so much of our emotional world.


We get into:

- The difference between a shame swamp, a shame spiral and a full-blown shame storm

- Why gratitude lists, mindfulness and “just be present” advice can feel like gaslighting when you’re in survival mode

- How trauma, high sensitivity and people-pleasing set us up for chronic hypervigilance

- The link between nutrition, B vitamins, SSRIs and emotional dysregulation

-- Mistaking familiarity for safety – and why so many of us feel unsafe even with “nice” people

- Self-parenting, accountability and facing the ways our own dysregulation can make us the “toxic” one at home


Melinda also shares a free upcoming 4-week program she’s creating to help people build awareness, have better conversations around triggers and start finding their way out of constant dysregulation.


Substack: https://melindadelisle.substack.com/

Free 4-week program: https://melindadelisle.com/foundation/

Instagram: @melindadelisle

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melinda-delisle/

More episodes

View all episodes

  • Healing the Wounded Boy with Kevin Brown

    01:12:18|
    In this episode of Dysfunctional, Josh sits down with Kevin Brown for a raw and honest conversation about men’s mental health, addiction, shame, and the long road from self-destruction to self-respect.Kev shares his journey through chaos, binge drinking, drug use, and living a double life, before a powerful moment of clarity helped him finally understand the impact of his childhood and the wounds he’d been carrying for years.They explore father wounds, generational patterns, endurance running, breathwork for emotional release, and why healing isn’t a single breakthrough moment, but a messy process of getting back up again and again.This episode is a grounded, deeply human conversation about learning to sit with the boy you once were… and becoming the man you choose to be.Find Kevin - https://www.instagram.com/mindmastersscotland?igsh=MTZzb2x5Z2RvMjlqMw==https://www.facebook.com/share/1BEhesPJTD/https://open.spotify.com/show/1dK4Zs6jcve7K3aWID7eAr?si=TJ2tlZ5cSG2dygMd5ueksw

  • 67. Estrangement, Neurodivergence and Learning to Feel with Rich Finegan

    58:10||Season 1, Ep. 67
    Rich Finegan joins me for a powerful conversation about family estrangement, neurodivergence, anger, shame, and what it means to finally let yourself feel.We talk about emotional suppression, accountability, parenting, dyspraxia, and the relief that can come when you realise you’re not broken and you’re not alone.A deeply honest episode about healing, self-acceptance, and learning to show up for yourself.

  • 66. Estrangement, Therapy & Self-Respect with Laura Belbin (Knee Deep in Life)

    02:12:08||Season 1, Ep. 66
    In this episode of Dysfunctional, Josh sits down with comedian and creator Laura Belbin, best known online as Knee Deep in Life, for a raw and wide-ranging conversation about healing, family estrangement, therapy, and self-respect.Laura opens up about growing up in a dysfunctional family system, surviving childhood sexual abuse, and the painful reality of walking away from family relationships that could no longer be healthy. Together, Josh and Laura explore the complexities of trauma, therapy, accountability, and what real healing actually looks like.They also discuss misogyny, relationships, emotional responsibility, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and the courage it takes to rebuild your life on your own terms.This is an honest conversation about healing, boundaries, and the messy, complicated work of becoming yourself.

  • 65. DO Loss with Sue Deagle

    01:04:28||Season 1, Ep. 65
    In this episode, Josh sits down with Sue Deagle for a powerful conversation about loss, grief, resilience, and life after everything changes.Sue shares the sudden loss of her husband and the journey of rebuilding a different kind of life in the aftermath. Together, Josh and Sue explore why grief and joy can exist at the same time, why people often struggle to support those in pain, and how loss is something we all face in different forms.They talk about friendship, courage, work, parenting through grief, and Sue’s powerful idea that after loss, a different kind of great is still possible.Let me know if you want an even tighter version.https://thedobook.co/products/do-loss-a-new-way-to-move-through-change?Format=eBook&mc_cid=d1b275e995&mc_eid=2cb75235bb

  • 64. Safety, Belonging, Dignity: The Nervous System Truth Nobody Taught Us with Leona Waller & Ana Ally

    01:21:37||Season 1, Ep. 64
    This week I’m joined by Leona Waller and Ana Ally, hosts of The Body Knows, for a conversation that goes way beyond “regulating your nervous system.”We explore the three things your body is constantly organising around — safety, belonging, and dignity — and why so many of us were taught to override them.We talk somatics vs embodiment, the productisation of healing, chronic illness, disconnection, and what it actually means to come home to your body.If you’ve been stuck in your head trying to fix yourself, this one might change how you see everything.Find them here - https://thebodyknows.substack.com

  • 63. Parental Imprisonment: Lived Experience Of Young People

    01:23:42||Season 1, Ep. 63
    In this powerful episode, I sit down with five extraordinary young people to talk about what it’s really like to grow up with a parent in prison.The courage and maturity they bring to this conversation is breathtaking. They speak honestly about shame, stigma, anger, confusion and loss, but also about resilience, ambition and who they’ve chosen to become because of it.This isn’t just a conversation about hardship. It’s a conversation about strength, success and the voices we don’t hear enough. I have no doubt this episode will help a lot of people feel seen.https://childrenheardandseen.co.uk

  • 62. Coming Home to the Body with Jolene Ironside

    01:14:12||Season 1, Ep. 62
    Jolene Ironside is a trauma therapist specialising in teenagers and neurodiversity, a somatic mind-body coach, yoga teacher, and holistic therapist.In this conversation, we talk about what happens when you grow up around addiction, how perfectionism can be a survival strategy, and why “understanding it” isn’t the same as actually feeling it.We get into suicide and addiction with honesty (and a lot of love), the limits of talk therapy, and what it looks like to come back into your body after years of living in your head.We also talk neurodiversity, diagnosis, and why the system often labels people as “disordered” instead of simply giving them what they need.If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the healing things but still not actually here… this one will land.Find Jolene - https://www.heart-in-mind.com/about

  • 61. Chasing Yesterday Marathons for Children of Alcoholics with Ian Stringer and Scott Murdoch

    01:17:52||Season 1, Ep. 61
    n this episode of Dysfunctional, Josh Connolly is joined by Ian Stringer and Scott Murdoch to talk about Chasing Yesterday Marathons a powerful endurance challenge raising money and awareness for NACOA (National Association for Children of Alcoholics).We unpack what it’s like growing up with an alcoholic parent, the silence and shame that keeps families stuck, and why children of alcoholics often feel like they’re the problem. Ian shares the devastating story of losing his mum to alcoholism. Scott shares his journey from chaos to purpose, and the urgent need to get support into schools.We also explain the challenge: running a marathon in Samoa, then flying across the International Date Line to run another marathon “yesterday” in American Samoa all within 24 hours.👇 Donate / Sponsor / Support NACOA https://www.justgiving.com/page/chasingyesterdaymarathons?utm_medium=FR&utm_source=CLhttps://nacoa.org.uk

  • 60. Mend or Move On? The Hardest Relationship Question, with Kate King

    01:06:42||Season 1, Ep. 60
    This week on Dysfunctional I’m joined by Kate King, author of Mend or Move On.We talk about the question so many people live inside for years: should I stay and try to repair this relationship, or should I move on and finally choose myself?In this episode we get into:Why “mending” gets glorified and “moving on” gets shamedThe 3 signs a relationship is genuinely toxic (not just difficult)Why leaving is rarely the “easy option” and what can escalate after you goNervous system truth: you can’t regulate in an unsafe environmentNeeds vs “needy”, reciprocity, and reclaiming autonomyKate’s book Mend or Move On is out now - https://a.co/d/3igvgLz