Do Not Disturb: The Inside Story

A conversation with Neha Ruch on Do Not Disturb, hosted by Simona Deifta.Explore more Do Not Disturb conversations and stories: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/Subscribe to The Cultural Edit: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/subscribe

Why does time off still feel like work for so many mothers?Journalist and author Brigid Schulte joins Simona Deifta for a conversation about unequal care, resentment, the invisible mental load and redesigning work around a full human life.Brigid shares the Thanksgiving moment that forced a conversation with her husband, the small experiments that helped them share responsibility, and why real time off means sharing both the work and the vigilance. We also discuss workplace expectations, career breaks, AI and measuring outcomes rather than hours.Brigid is the author of Overwhelmed and Over Work and director of the Better Life Lab at New America.Explore more Do Not Disturb conversations: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/Subscribe to The Cultural Edit for more ideas and stories: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/subscribe00:00 Unequal care, resentment and the green couch00:55 Why combining work and care felt impossible07:28 The invisible mental load10:55 The Thanksgiving turning point14:28 Making invisible labour visible16:20 Small experiments in sharing responsibility20:35 Fragmented time and the guilt around rest25:43 What makes time feel polluted?27:19 Why holidays can still feel like work29:10 Protecting each other's time off31:41 The ideal-worker culture and having it all35:38 Investing in families and care41:40 What workplaces lose when mothers leave45:34 Who gets the time saved by AI?46:55 Career breaks, choices and returning to work51:07 Judge outcomes rather than hours53:17 You do not have to earn time for yourself54:14 Finding bright spots in work and care56:24 Examples of change that give Brigid hope59:52 Closing reflections

Laura Godfrey-Isaacs joins Simona to make invisible care visible, explore honest feelings about motherhood and ask what useful support looks like.Explore more conversations and articles at https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/. Get Simona’s Cultural Edit newsletter: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/subscribeChapters00:00 Motherhood, judgement and invisible care01:47 Meet Laura Godfrey-Isaacs04:42 From artist to midwife07:14 Who gets to depict women's bodies?08:43 Pregnancy and Birth: A Graphic Guide11:57 Birth, information and informed consent16:25 Why Laura created Maternal Journal19:01 Isolation and finding connection21:47 Not enjoying motherhood: saying it honestly24:20 My Amazing Hands: making care visible28:40 Where are your own needs on the list?30:43 Finding a group that works for you35:07 What maternity services need to change42:56 Better questions at postnatal appointments45:29 Partners, visitors and boundaries47:31 Letting go of judgement48:28 Returning to work: what employers can do50:17 Laura's book recommendations51:15 One small step to reconnect with yourselfLaura’s requested resources:Laura’s official website: https://www.lauragodfreyisaacs.com/Maternal Journal: https://www.maternaljournal.org/Instagram @godfrey_isaacs: https://www.instagram.com/godfrey_isaacs/Pregnancy and Birth: A Graphic Guide: https://www.iconbooks.com/ib-title/pregnancy-and-birth-a-graphic-guide/Maternal Journal book: https://www.maternaljournal.org/book

How do we help our children use AI without letting it do their thinking for them?Read the episode summary and explore the conversation: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/dr-akshi-kumarFor more DND stories and ideas, subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/subscribeAI researcher and mother Dr Akshi Kumar joins Simona Deifta on Do Not Disturb to explore what children should learn to do with AI — and what they should remain capable of doing without it.They discuss chatbots and human understanding, teaching children to question answers, privacy, school policies, and why parents can learn alongside their children. The conversation also asks whether AI could help mothers carry less of the invisible work of family life.In this episode:• AI, emotional language and human context• Teaching judgment and questioning answers• Child-proofing platforms and protecting privacy• School policies that support learning• AI literacy and access• Reducing mothers’ mental loadDr Akshi Kumar is a Senior Lecturer in Computing at Goldsmiths, University of London. Her research includes natural language processing, responsible AI, online harms and digital trust.Guest: https://akshikumar.ai/Goldsmiths: https://www.gold.ac.uk/computing/people/kumar-akshi/Do Not Disturb: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/What is one skill you want your child to keep practising without AI?

Are women naturally better carers—or have practice, expectation and power made familiar roles feel inevitable?Read the episode summary and explore the conversation: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/angela-saini-science-women-patriarchyFor more DND stories and ideas, subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/subscribeSimona Deifta speaks with award-winning science journalist and author Angela Saini about what science has got wrong about women, where ideas about gender come from, and why supposedly natural roles have complicated histories.Drawing on the ideas behind Inferior, The Patriarchs and Superior, Angela connects science and history to ordinary life: motherhood, the default-parent role, invisible care, work, ambition and the stories women are taught about themselves. They also look ahead to Other: Race, Sex, and the Hidden Harms of Human Categories, due in January 2027.Angela Saini is an award-winning science journalist, author, and Assistant Professor of Science Writing at MIT.Find Angela and her books: https://www.angelasaini.co.uk/MIT profile: https://cmsw.mit.edu/profile/angela-saini/Pre-order Other: https://groveatlantic.com/book/other/Content note: This episode discusses sexism, patriarchy, racism, race science, scientific bias and the social consequences of classifying people by sex and race. It is a journalistic conversation, not medical advice.

What does it take to make Britain obsessed with beans? Simona Deifta sits down with Bold Bean Co founder Amelia Christie-Miller to talk about building a challenger food brand, creating a new category, the reality behind Dragons’ Den, and the naming decision that nearly sent the business in a very different direction.Read the article inspired by this conversation: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/the-edit/amelia-christie-miller-motherhood-ambitionFor more DND stories and ideas, subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/subscribeA candid conversation about conviction, risk, brand-building and turning an overlooked everyday product into something people genuinely care about.Watch the full episode on the Do Not Disturb YouTube channel.Follow Amelia Christie-Miller and Bold Bean Co on LinkedIn.

What happens when you leave your job, start a business and discover you are pregnant in the same week?Read the episode summary and explore the conversation: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/sabrina-sarlFor more DND stories and ideas, subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/subscribeIn this episode, Simona speaks with Sabrina Sarl, creative business adviser, artist manager and host of Mothers of Creativity. Sabrina has spent more than 15 years working across the creative industries and now creates space for honest conversations about how motherhood shapes creative careers.Sabrina reflects on how motherhood changed the shape of her work without erasing her ambition. She and Simona discuss the promise and pressure of self-employment, why comparing yourself with people who are not parents is a trap, the different expectations placed on creative mothers and fathers, and what it takes to define success on your own terms.At the heart of the conversation is a more useful question than “Can mothers have it all?”: what is the life and career you actually want to build now?In this conversation:• Leaving a job, starting a business and becoming pregnant at the same time• How motherhood changes the shape of ambition• The flexibility and hidden pressure of self-employment• Why creative parents are working with genuinely limited resources• The danger of comparing yourself with people who are not parents• The different expectations placed on creative mothers and fathers• Building Mothers of Creativity• Redefining success after motherhoodFind Sabrina:Mothers of Creativity: https://podcast.mothersofcreativity.com/Website: https://www.sabrinasarl.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.sarl/Follow Do Not Disturb: @donotdisturbpodsIf this conversation resonated, follow the show, leave a review and share it with a woman rebuilding ambition on her own terms.

Many women prepare carefully for the baby. Far fewer are prepared for what motherhood will do to their identity, relationships, body, ambition and sense of control.Read the article inspired by this conversation: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/the-edit/motherhood-rulebook-becky-selbieFor more DND stories and ideas, subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.donotdisturbpodcast.com/subscribeSimona Deifta is joined by Becky Selbie, a therapist specialising in maternal mental health and the founder of Motherway. Together they explore the expectation-versus-reality gap, matrescence, perfectionism, accepting help, invisible labour and why high-achieving women can find motherhood especially destabilising.This is not an episode about becoming a perfect mother. It is an honest conversation about what motherhood actually feels like—and why women may be responding normally to impossible expectations.Find Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_motherway_/