The Curse of Strictly

SPOILERS. Only the good dancers are left now, meaning the most vulnerable are those who are living out of their natural environment, the celebrities who have been holding their breath for months now, and will inevitably have to return to their watery habitat, to live with their Caribbean crab friends under the sea.

An apology from Curse Towers as illness strikes, like it did Judi Love. It's this year's theme!As a result, this is the first thing we've put out all year with no swearing in. ENJOY and SOZ!

Julia and Marc are back to cover all the spooky action of Strictly's Halloween week. They didn't do the Monster Mash, despite being aware it was a graveyard smash and in the full knowledge that it caught on in a flash.Contains occasional bad language, like you'd hear if you passed someone who was being bitten by a werewolf.

BOO! Julia and Marc are back to cover all the spooky action of Strictly's Halloween week. BOO! (in case it didn't scare you the first time.)Contains occasional bad language, like you'd hear if you were a vampire and accidentally opened a curtain to let the sun in.

Julia and Marc are back to cover all the action. Warning: contains deeply scientific discussion about cloning Katya so she can prowl about with herself.Contains occasional bad language, like you'd hear if a navvy dropped a hammer on his foot.

It's Week 5 and Julia and Marc are back to cover all the action. Warning: some of their opinions might cause the judges to 'twitch', whatever that is.Contains occasional bad language, like you'd hear in any run of the mill borstal or young offender's institute.

Julia and Marc return at 100% and 20% respectively to cover the non-series-highlights of Strictly Come Dancing Week 4!Some language, but nothing that you won't have heard before when driving.

It's 60% Week, so let Julia (at 100%) and Marc (at 20% to ensure everything is dragged down to 60% overall) take you through the glittering world of Strictly!Some language, but nothing you've not already heard down your local docks.

It's Movie Week, so let Julia (dressed up as Turner) and Marc (dressed up as Hooch) take you through the glittering world of Strictly!Some language, so make sure Nanna's well into the Scotch before you let her hear it.