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Crack The Behavior Code

Are you telling the 5 types of truth?

Season 1, Ep. 16

How much truth do you tell? The whole truth? The partial truth? The preferred truth?


I’ve been noticing how uncomfortable truth can be for people to hear, and I’m getting really curious as to why we lie so often. When did it become “not ok” to say what was really going on?


When did we start dancing around our needs, our truth, our beliefs?


Did it really make us more safe? Enable us to belong? Enable us to matter?


I read Neale Donald Walsch’s Conversations with God – Part 2 recently and liked the way he laid out the 5 levels of truth telling (you’ll see them below).


Take The Truth Challenge


So I invite you to take the Truth Challenge. I think if you spend one week telling only the truth you’ll find it so liberating that you’ll want to do it for another week, and another, and maybe even the rest of your life.


I’ve been experimenting with this and have found it tremendously freeing. First, though, a disclaimer: we don’t tell a truth the intentionally hurts another. So if a friend says “do I look fat in these jeans?” you have a choice. If you think it’s true you can say “Yep, sure do” or you can say “The black pants are far more flattering on you” or “You look awesome in skirts” or whatever will be honest but not crush your pal’s self-image.


Here are some ways you can tell the truth, ranked from easiest to more challenging:


  • Tell the truth to yourself about yourself. This is where we really admit what is or isn’t working for us, who we really are, what we really need, what is crushing our soul, what changes we need to make, what we truly believe and are willing to stand up for, even to live and die for. I recently told myself that I need more vacations and down time. I love my work so much that I can overdo it. Then I get tired, crabby, not as much fun to be around. So I told my team. They were jubilant and are now holding me to this truth—even when I try to be superwoman—then they say “that’s not how it’s going to be…” They are honoring my truth. I love it.


  • Tell the truth to yourself about another. This is where we cop to who a person really is, what they are and aren’t capable of or comfortable with, where they can and cannot show up for us, whether we feel connected to them or not, whether they have our back or not, you get the idea. I recently re-decided to accept people exactly as they are. I had decided this on August 15, 2005 but I had back-slided (to tell the truth J). Now I’ve recommitted. People get to be who they are, and I get to accept them fully or not hang out with them. Ahh. So much simpler than wishing they would change!


  • Tell the truth about yourself to another. This is about being seen, standing in who you are, being ok not being perfect (whatever that means!). I once had a hospice patient that was struggling with letting go and accepting her dying process. This was surprising to me, as she was the wife of a minister and I had assumed she was at peace with her creator and dying. She wasn’t. So I created a subtle opening one day for her to share her experience (she was a very “together” woman who didn’t speak about feelings much). After some talking around the topic she looked me in the eye, and said she had neither peace about how she had lived her life nor about her rapidly approaching death. That’s when everything changed for her. We worked through this together, and when she did die 5 weeks later she was ready. She was grateful, peaceful, complete.


  • Tell the truth about another to another. This is where I want to stress kindness and acceptance of another’s humanity (read: blind spots) so we can be both truthful and sensitive. We don’t need to tell a truth that doesn’t add value… this “truth telling” can decline rapidly into gossip. Rather when I realized that I had been expecting a junior team member to take on huge challenges that he wasn’t capable of, that weren’t appropriate for him to take on, that were too risky I simply told his leader this. Previously I had been encouraging his leader to stretch him… but once I really looked at him I saw this was a disservice. He wasn’t ready.


  • Tell the truth to everyone about everything. This involves being straightforward, kind, and giving yourself a moment to gather your thoughts before speaking if need be (not entirely popular, especially in the talk-or-be-talked-over cultures). Pausing is a gift to yourself, just like saying “let me think about that and get back to you” is.


What would it be like for you to tell the truth—all 5 types–for a week?


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Have you ever considered using neuroscience to optimize engagement, performance, recruiting, and retention in your organization? At SmartTribes Institute, we continually strive to apply cutting edge neuroscience tools and resources to modern day businesses and people. If you'd like a taste, check out our upcoming Culture Camp! And, of course, apply the practices in these podcast episodes as well.


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  • 18. Do Your Employees Have Buyer's Remorse?

    10:35||Season 4, Ep. 18
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    11:33||Season 4, Ep. 17
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    09:01||Season 4, Ep. 16
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    15:34||Season 4, Ep. 15
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Be sure to recap on email post-meeting so everyone remembers what was covered.Summary sales activity per salesperson: how many orders at what stage of sales process, total $ per salesperson per stage, total velocity (movement from one stage to the next each week)Winners for the weekly contest (whatever behavior you are currently incenting: new orders, upsells/down sells/cross-sells, specific product/service sales, fastest to report sales status in the CRM, etc.)Weekly CRM Update – Make sure all salespeople know what data needs to be entered in the CRM after each sales call. For example: sales stage movement for the week, notes per call/communication with prospect, proposal info and all sales activity info above. Some clients have their customer service reps do CRM data entry for salespeople as a reward once a certain sales performance level is achieved.Some of our clients like to set up a Google doc or other repository to help celebrate sales people (as well as all other team members). On the doc each employee fills in their section listing what treats (under $200) they’d like to receive for terrific performance. 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Base: $ _____ Model salesperson: [name here]Mid-level person (reaches quota 75%+ of time), has quota of $_________. Base: $ _____ Model salesperson: [name here]Senior level person (reaches quota all the time), has quota of $_________. Base: $ _____ Model salesperson: [name here] Levels of CSRs/Account Managers:Entry level and entry level quota of $__________. Model: [name here]Mid-level (reaches quota 75%+ of time), has quota of $_________. Model: [name here]Senior level (reaches quota all the time), has quota of $_________. Model: [name here]Accelerators2 accelerators on increases in gross sales above quota – at ­­__% over quota gets __% commission, __% over quota gets __% commission2 accelerators on increases in gross margin – at ­­__% over quota gets __% commission, __% over quota gets __% commissionTeam Selling – per saleEffort Allocation must be defined clearly in CRM and entered formally:Partner (shares ½ of all selling work) = 50-50% commission split?Consultant (advisor, stops by client if in town, answers occasional client questions and encourages future communication to be with sales person– gets far less commission but still helpful) = 10-30% ??? of total commission (varies based on specific consultant levels)Doing the above will help get and keep your sales team in their Smart State—which means greater performance, happier people, less stress for you!”
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    10:31||Season 4, Ep. 13
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    11:11||Season 4, Ep. 12
    To learn more about onboarding, click here to visit our Forbes page.Here We Grow!
  • 11. The Surprising Link Between Customer Experience And Employee Engagement

    09:12||Season 4, Ep. 11
    How would your customers describe their experience with your firm?Please take a moment and rate the Customer Experience (CX) that you believe you deliver:Better than all companies in any industryThe best in our industryConsiderably above average in our industrySlightly above average in our industryAverage for our industrySlightly below average in our industryConsiderably below average in our industryNow, what CX would you like to deliver within 3 years?[Credit: Temkin Group Q1 2017 CX Management Survey]Data: Q1 2017 CX Management Survey of 180 organizations with $500 million or more in annual revenuesAccording to Aimee Lucas, Customer Experience Transformist and VP at Temkin Group, 55% of all the companies surveyed want to be best in their industry or better than all companies in any industry when it comes to the level of CX they deliver they deliver within three years. That’s a big crowd wanting to get into a small, small slot.As Aimee and I caught up at the recent North American Employee Engagement Awards it became crystal clear: it’s time to stress the connection between Employee Engagement (EE) and CX. Now.Customers today have a louder voice (think Yelp and other rating sites), have access to more information on you and your competitors, and as a result expect an increasingly awesome experience. And they should.Meanwhile your competitors are launching new products and services faster than ever before, and are consistently raising the bar on CX. And they should.So what’s an organization to do?Arm yourself with these 3 CX-Boosting Strategies!3 CX-Boosting Strategies1) Become A CX Leader — By Focusing First On EmployeesCX leaders (companies whose CX is significantly better than their competitors) have more engaged employees. Here’s what Temkin Group found:[Credit: Temkin Group Employee Engagement Benchmark Study, 2017]Base:  5,552 U.S. consumers employed in for-profit organizationsHow exactly does engagement work? What happens in the brain when we are engaged?Engagement comes from feeling good, from passion for the company, from meaningful work, from attaching part of one’s identity with their job. And this comes down to some neurotransmitters and a hormone. As leaders when we intentionally help the brains of our employees to generate dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin we create good feelings for the organization. Dopamine (anticipation of reward) and serotonin (feeling good, well-being) and oxytocin (bonding, feeling connected to others) can be created via a number of programs in your Cultural GAME Plan.So how do you become a CX leader and get engaged employees? This is where HR comes in…2) Get HR To Connect EE And CXHR owns the cultural programs, so it’s key that they are first looped into Employee Engagement (EE) so they can help support CX. First a strong mission, vision, values sets the tone for your tribal purpose and code of conduct (oxytocin). Next, acknowledging employees for being models of your values creates social validation (dopamine and serotonin). There are many more ways that you can read about in my many blogs on employee engagement and in #3 below.Next, when HR runs regular SBM Indexes, you can easily diagnose and cure and engagement dis-eases so you can continuously raise your engagement bar. It matters, it’s a reflection of them and what they believe in, who they are, how they show up in the world.According to Temkin Group’s research when HR is significantly involved in CX the organization is 50% more likely to be a CX leader. Wow.Is HR involved in CX at your organization?Credit: [Temkin Group 2016 HR Professionals Survey]Which brings us to the next item to check on our list, specifics for creating EE and CX.3) Clarify Exactly How/Where HR Can Support EE And CXHere are some ways that HR can forge the EE-CX link…Employee communications – rich in safety, belonging, mattering and boosting positive feelingsEmployee training & new hire onboarding – see my blog on how to ensure key emotional touchpoints in the onboarding processPerformance motivation – learn how to create intrinsic motivation in this blogAwards, celebrations, incentives – learn how to celebrate and incent in these blogsEmployee listening programs – learn how to be a better listener in this blogMiddle manager engagement efforts – learn how to engage leaders and the cost of low leader engagement in this blogRecruiting & hiring processes – learn the latest way to recruit with self-revealing questions hereAll of the above examples and blogs will help you keep the brains of your employees in their Smart State, which will in turn help your customers spend more time there too! Smart State = Engaged, Aligned, Tribal, Together.
  • 10. Right Person, Wrong Role?

    10:04||Season 4, Ep. 10
    People get into the wrong roles for a number of reasons.Perhaps there was a reorganization and the company didn’t want to lose them, so they were reallocated without consultation or training. Maybe they were promoted beyond their capability without a training plan. Or maybe they were hired to do a project that’s now irrelevant and they’ve not been redeployed to produce meaningful results elsewhere. And then there’s our all-time favorite, the Untouchables.Do you have Untouchables? Also, known as Sacred Cows? These are people who were hired because they are related to (or friends with) the CEO or other powerful team members. Even though their performance is sub-par, they get promoted or allowed to stay on for emotional reasons.[Shutterstock]Case Study: Company XCompany X was a tech consulting firm with a $37 million in annual revenue and approximately 270 employees, about two-thirds of whom were consultants. They were tracking at $137,000 in revenue per employee… ouch! The company was run by a married couple, John and Sarah, who initially contacted us about perfecting their sales process. They felt that their salespeople could be performing much better. What we found was a much bigger issue.Assess: What We FoundThe findings were grim: a fear-driven culture with 53% employee turnover each year. Company X did an exceptional job of technical training for new hires, only to see them leave for higher pay within a year.The two owners of the company had virtually opposite Meta Programs, and this was causing chaos. Sarah (Active, Toward, Options, Difference) would proactively start an initiative, rally the troops to move toward the new goal, then jump to the next option/project. John (Reflective, Away, Procedures, Sameness) would want to analyze before launching the new initiative, so he would kill it or block it, minimize exposure, and set up a procedure to handle the proposal through testing, no matter how much or little, the cost associated risk. The resulting chaos was confusing to the team and sending them deep into Critter State.The glaring gap in the consultant’s training curriculum was in sales. Even though their role was heavily client-facing, the consultants weren’t trained in the basic selling skills and had no incentive to do anything but fix technical problems. They also had no interaction with the sales team — which was sequestered in a different area of the building. The consultants were the right people in the right role — but with no support to perform their best.Harry, the new sales manager, had been with the firm for three months. Shortly after hiring Harry, the company had reorganized to close a failing business unit. Sarah and John had moved their niece, Toni, the VP of the failed unit, into a new role as the VP of sales and marketing — wait a sec! What? Did we read that right? Yep, the niece was given one of the most important roles in the firm after killing an entire business unit. Sounds like a sacred cow to me.There were three problems with this scenario:Harry (who now was sales manager) had no sales expertise — his entire background was in Internet marketing)Toni was an experienced sales manager but wasn’t strategic and had no marketing expertiseThe two disliked each other — Toni was threatened by Harry and Harry thought Toni should have been fired for her lackluster leadership of the failed business unitTo make matters even more fun, Toni’s boyfriend, Taylor, had been hired as director of client care. He had solid experience, but a perpetual mocking smirk when interacting with anyone but Toni.Act: What They DidThe first thing we had John and Sarah do was to create a clear and compelling mission, vision, and value statements. This would help everyone know why they were coming to work, and where they were going together, and how they agreed to behave. They posted these statements in the lobby, and the managers worked with smaller teams until everyone was on board.Next, we established Needle Movers together (first for the executive team and later for everyone) in line with the new mission, vision, and values, and radically increased accountability using weekly reporting and the Accountability Equation. We created a reporting process for the sales pipeline and marketing effectiveness metrics and set up an incentive plan for the consultants to source future sales.We also redefined the roles and responsibilities throughout sales and marketing to get the right people in the right roles. Some people were reallocated, and one or two were let go respectfully. Since the company had a history of high employee turnover it was key to minimize Critter State via thoughtful communication.John, Sarah, Toni, and Harry worked on their on key challenges. Toni got the tools to turn her department around. Harry was moved out of sales management and into the right role — marketing — where he is brilliant and a perpetual learner. He still reports to Toni, who now manages the sales team directly. Harry’s initiatives have made Company X top of mind in their target market. Now that John and Sarah communicate more explicitly, they are no longer creating chaos, and Toni and Harry have developed a mutual respect for each other. Taylor had to be let go. He didn’t want to uphold the company values and had burned too many bridges to be salvageable.ROI: What They GotAbout six months into the change process, things got pretty scary. The consultants became resistant and didn’t want to work on internal projects for which they had no billable hours, and John and Sarah almost pulled the plug and reverted to chaos. Instead, they applied energy management tools, worked through their own resistance, recommitted, and held their team accountable to the direction they had chosen together. The results were not all immediate — patterns occasionally resurfaced and to be readdressed — but overall the results have been phenomenal. They zoomed through the $50 million inflection point and are preparing for $100 million. Their employee retention is now normal for their industry, and employee surveys show that engagement and satisfaction continue to improve.