Conversations We've Never Had

In this week's episode of Conversations We've Never Had, Candice and Gemma explore vulnerability. They discuss how vulnerability can shift from a place of strength to one of self-questioning, especially in spaces where there is silence as this can mirror the impacts of trauma. Candice and Gemma reflect on the importance of trust - both in ourselves and from others - and how vulnerability can coexist with power in fortitude. They draw parallels between their own experiences and what we ask of the young people and families in need of support, reminding us that vulnerability is a necessary part of doing this work with heart and integrity.**Content Warning: ** This episode discusses themes related to childhood sexual abuse, which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.**Disclaimer: ** This podcast is a conversation between friends and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as a substitute for professional advice or therapy. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this episode, please seek support from trained professionals or organisations specialising in mental health and trauma recovery. In the UK, you can access support and find local organisations via the Rape Crisis Helpline 24/7 0808 5002222. Children and young people can contact Childline 24/7 0800 1111. Internationally you can contact the RAINN Network 24/7 who may be able to signpost you to local services in your area (++) 800.656.4673. 

In this episode, of Conversations We’ve Never Had, Candice and Gemma unpack the complex weight of responsibility that survivors of child sexual abuse carry throughout their lives - from the moment of abuse through disclosure, the criminal justice process, and beyond. They explore how responsibility shows up in every area of life: the guilt of "breaking" a family, the burden of holding secrets, the exhaustion of managing everyone else's feelings, and the challenge of navigating support systems. Candice and Gemma discuss how survivors often become caregivers within their own families, taking on roles they should never have to hold.They talk about the need to reclaim responsibility as something beautiful - the pride of being a parent, the joy of caring for loved ones, and the power of teaching children about responsibility in age-appropriate, empowering ways. They challenge practitioners to shift from feeling responsible for "fixing" survivors to offering hope and truth instead. This episode is a call to place responsibility where it truly belongs: with perpetrators, not survivors. **Content Warning: ** This episode discusses themes related to childhood sexual abuse, which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.**Disclaimer: ** This podcast is a conversation between friends and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as a substitute for professional advice or therapy. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this episode, please seek support from trained professionals or organisations specialising in mental health and trauma recovery. In the UK, you can access support and find local organisations via the Rape Crisis Helpline 24/7 0808 5002222. Children and young people can contact Childline 24/7 0800 1111. Internationally you can contact the RAINN Network 24/7 who may be able to signpost you to local services in your area (++) 800.656.4673. 

What does it really mean for young survivors of child sexual abuse to participate in their own healing? In this episode of Conversations We've Never Had, Gemma and Candice explore the power - and complexity - of bringing young people together to connect, share, and create change. They discuss the difference between participation, co-production, and leadership, and why connection must come before action. Drawing on their own experiences, they reflect on what they would have needed as teenagers: the courage it takes to walk through the door, the healing that happens in simply being seen by others who understand, and why there's no such thing as being "ready." Gemma and Candice challenge the assumptions that keep young people isolated and make the case for why facilitators with lived experience are essential. Because participation isn't just about making change externally -it's about the radical act of showing up, being present, and discovering you're not alone.**Content Warning: ** This episode discusses themes related to childhood sexual abuse, which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.**Disclaimer: ** This podcast is a conversation between friends and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as a substitute for professional advice or therapy. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this episode, please seek support from trained professionals or organisations specialising in mental health and trauma recovery. In the UK, you can access support and find local organisations via the Rape Crisis Helpline 24/7 0808 5002222. Children and young people can contact Childline 24/7 0800 1111. Internationally you can contact the RAINN Network 24/7 who may be able to signpost you to local services in your area (++) 800.656.4673. 

Candice Harris and Gemma Halliwell discuss the concept of the "child self" and how trauma exists outside of linear time. They explore recognising when wounded child selves show up, learning to parent ourselves through difficult moments, and breaking negative feedback loops with kindness and wonder. This episode about acknowledging pain while holding onto hope and the possibility of healing.**Content Warning: ** This episode discusses themes related to childhood sexual abuse, which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.**Disclaimer: ** This podcast is a conversation between friends and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as a substitute for professional advice or therapy. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this episode, please seek support from trained professionals or organisations specialising in mental health and trauma recovery. In the UK, you can access support and find local organisations via the Rape Crisis Helpline 24/7 0808 5002222. Children and young people can contact Childline 24/7 0800 1111. Internationally you can contact the RAINN Network 24/7 who may be able to signpost you to local services in your area (++) 800.656.4673. 

In this episode, Candice and Gemma reflect on leaving roles they loved at specialist services supporting survivors of child sexual abuse. They explore the complex emotions of endings: the grief of leaving meaningful work, stepping away from teams and families they've grown close to, and choosing growth over comfort. As they embark on a new journey focused on national systems change, they discuss their fears, excitement, and the importance of bringing their whole selves to the work. They reflect on integrating all parts of yourself after trauma and their hope to paint possibility into places that need it most.**Content Warning: ** This episode discusses themes related to childhood sexual abuse, which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.**Disclaimer: ** This podcast is a conversation between friends and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as a substitute for professional advice or therapy. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this episode, please seek support from trained professionals or organisations specialising in mental health and trauma recovery. In the UK, you can access support and find local organisations via the Rape Crisis Helpline 24/7 0808 5002222. Children and young people can contact Childline 24/7 0800 1111. Internationally you can contact the RAINN Network 24/7 who may be able to signpost you to local services in your area (++) 800.656.4673. 

In the first episode of Season 3 of "Conversations We've Never Had," hosts Candice Harris and Gemma Halliwell reunite in Barcelona after speaking at a conference to explore what it truly means to move forward alongside trauma. Both survivors of child sexual abuse and passionate advocates for healing, Candice and Gemma share personal reflections on how trauma shapes their daily lives, relationships, and work. They discuss the complexities of living with trauma - not as something to be boxed away, but as a part of themselves that moves with them through time. They reflect on the challenges of confronting pain, the importance of acknowledging all parts of oneself, and the power of gentle movement, humour, and friendship in the healing process. Whether you are a survivor, a loved one, or a practitioner working in the field, this episode offers compassion, insight, and a sense of togetherness. Join Candice and Gemma as they walk, talk, and laugh their way through the realities of healing, reminding us all that we are not alone on this journey.**Content Warning: ** This episode discusses themes related to childhood sexual abuse, which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.**Disclaimer: ** This podcast is a conversation between friends and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as a substitute for professional advice or therapy. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this episode, please seek support from trained professionals or organisations specialising in mental health and trauma recovery. In the UK, you can access support and find local organisations via the Rape Crisis Helpline 24/7 0808 5002222. Children and young people can contact Childline 24/7 0800 1111. Internationally you can contact the RAINN Network 24/7 who may be able to signpost you to local services in your area (++) 800.656.4673. 

Since finishing the first season, some of our listeners have written in to ask how Candice and Gemma felt about what they had recorded and where they are now. So here are some reflections and conversations they had on their last day of recording. They hope to be back with you again very soon.**Content Warning: ** This episode discusses themes related to childhood sexual abuse, which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.**Disclaimer: ** This podcast is a conversation between friends and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as a substitute for professional advice or therapy. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this episode, please seek support from trained professionals or organisations specialising in mental health and trauma recovery. In the UK, you can access support and find local organisations via the Rape Crisis Helpline 24/7 0808 5002222. Children and young people can contact Childline 24/7 0800 1111. Internationally you can contact the RAINN Network 24/7 who may be able to signpost you to local services in your area (++) 800.656.4673. 

Gemma Halliwell and Candice Harris consider the concept of fortitude for survivors of child sexual abuse. Through insights from their personal experiences and professional lives, Candice and Gemma explore the possibility for survivors to integrate their experiences into their work, transforming trauma into activism and change. They emphasise the importance of gentleness, creativity, and connection in advocacy, and the power of shared experiences in healing and making societal impacts. The episode also addresses the challenges and complexities involved in speaking out, the importance of solidarity among survivors and allies, and their aspiration to inspire action and hope through ongoing conversations.Each episode of the podcast focuses on a different stage of grief associated with the experience of being a survivor of child sexual abuse. 'Fortitude' is defined as: inner strength, willpower, courage.**Content Warning: ** This episode discusses themes related to childhood sexual abuse, which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. **Disclaimer: ** This podcast is a conversation between friends and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as a substitute for professional advice or therapy. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this episode, please seek support from trained professionals or organisations specialising in mental health and trauma recovery. In the UK, you can access support and find local organisations via the Rape Crisis Helpline 24/7 0808 5002222. Children and young people can contact Childline 24/7 0800 1111. Internationally you can contact the RAINN Network 24/7 who may be able to signpost you to local services in your area (++) 800.656.4673. This podcast has been bought to you and funded by the Green House, a specialist support service for children, young people and families who have experienced sexual abuse. Gemma’s contribution is part of her role at the Green House and a reflection of the organisations commitment to breaking the silence around child sexual abuse, raising survivors' voices, and developing leadership within the creative arts.

Candice Harris and Gemma Halliwell discuss love in the context of survival from child sexual abuse. Love is complex for survivors; in their exploration, Candice and Gemma share deeply personal stories about how their experiences with abuse shaped their understanding and ability to give and receive love, highlighting the challenges in distinguishing affection from manipulation, the struggle to build self-esteem and trust, and the healing power of positive, authentic relationships. The episode also touches on the importance of parental guidance in developing self-worth, the therapeutic role of creativity, and the nuances of building genuine connections as a path toward healing. Candice and Gemma aim to raise the voices of survivors by sharing their experiences and insights on navigating love after abuse, encompassing romantic relationships, self-love, and the transformative journey of healing. Each episode of the podcast focuses on a different stage of grief associated with the experience of being a survivor of child sexual abuse. 'Love' is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection; feeling deep affection for someone; like or enjoy very much. **Content Warning: ** This episode discusses themes related to childhood sexual abuse, which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. **Disclaimer: ** This podcast is a conversation between friends and is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered as a substitute for professional advice or therapy. If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed in this episode, please seek support from trained professionals or organisations specialising in mental health and trauma recovery. In the UK, you can access support and find local organisations via the Rape Crisis Helpline 24/7 0808 5002222. Children and young people can contact Childline 24/7 0800 1111. Internationally you can contact the RAINN Network 24/7 who may be able to signpost you to local services in your area (++) 800.656.4673.  This podcast has been bought to you and funded by the Green House, a specialist support service for children, young people and families who have experienced sexual abuse. Gemma’s contribution is part of her role at the Green House and a reflection of the organisations commitment to breaking the silence around child sexual abuse, raising survivors' voices, and developing leadership within the creative arts.