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Challenges That Change Us
140 {Malika Reese} Robbed, raped and run over
Trigger warning: Child sexual abuse
We’ve said before that survivors of child sexual abuse often end up more resilient than others, purely because of what they have had to live through.
Well Malika Reese is possibly the purest example of that, because not only did she survive abuse as a child, she also went on to face her perpetrator and see him charged, survive a robbery and survive having a car run her and her baby down.
Malika Reese was born in California in the 70’s, to a White writer and a Black writer.
As an emcee, speaker, writer, musician and storyteller, Malika has been performing for over 30 years. She is Artist in Residence and celebrant at Tender Funerals. She has taught music, produced dozens of community events, co-written multiple shows and performed at many places, including Sydney Opera House, TEDx, Woodford Folk Festival and Sydney, Adelaide, Darwin and Melbourne Fringe Festivals. She is a founding member of The Church of the Clitori.
Malika has also written an educational play called ”A Gentle Talk About Death for Little Ones”. She will follow this up with "A Gentle Talk About Bodies for Little Ones”. She is an outspoken advocate to bring awareness about CSA and works closely with Women’s groups to speak out against DV
In this episode she shares:
- What life looked like growing up and how she moved around
- Her experience being groomed by her step father
- How her grandmother gave up everything to try and protect her
- What happened at 14 that caused her abuse to stop
- Her realisation about her shame and its effect on her
- What her journey to recovery looked like
- How her abuser children and getting recognition lead her to having him charged
- What the process of having her abuser charged was like
- The moment she and her son were run down by a car and reversed over
- How insurance for the car accident was as traumatising as court for her assault case
- Her perspective on the healing journey
Key Quotes
“I was alone in Australia, at 13, without any family, and living with a paedophile.”
“The car came through in an arc and it hit me, with my son in my arms and we flew through the air.”
More about Malika
Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.
You can get involved with the podcast online
On facebook in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/challengesthatchangeus
Or on Instagram: @challengesthatchangeus
If you want to contact the podcast, email us here: support@challengesthatchangeus.com
Or check out our website: www.Challengesthatchangeus.com
If you want to find out more about what Ali does, check out her business via the website: http://www.trialtitudeperformance.com.au
For her other business you can find it through the websites: www.altitudefitnessarmidale.com.au
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41:35||Season 1, Ep. 139Welcome to part 2 of our chat with the incredible Nathan Stapleton.In our last episode Nathan shared the highs and lows of life in elite sport, and immediately afterwards, as well as the mindset he needed in order to thrive in that sporting space.For this episode we are discussing the serious topic of his sudden accident that left him a quadriplegic and what life has been like since.In this episode he shares:- The moments that led him to participate I nthe game that caused his accident- How his accident occurred and what happened- What it was like in the early stages when he discovered he couldn’t move- The bad times he had ithe early days- How he communicated via lip reading in the early stages of recovery- How he got to the stage he has now with his mindset- How his perspective on mental health has changed- How his family gave him the strength to manage through hardship- What he had to do to navigate fatherhood after his accident- How he has found peace after his trauma- How he started the Standing Strong InitiativeKey Quotes "Time felt like it stood still...an hour felt like a day, a day felt like a month, a month felt like a year."More about NathanFollow him on Instagram.You can get involved with the podcast online On facebook in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/challengesthatchangeusOr on Instagram: @challengesthatchangeusIf you want to contact the podcast, email us here: support@challengesthatchangeus.comOr check out our website: www.Challengesthatchangeus.com If you want to find out more about what Ali does, check out her business via the website:http://www.trialtitudeperformance.com.au For her other business you can find it through the websites:www.altitudefitnessarmidale.com.au@trialtitudeperformance138. 138 {Nathan Stapleton pt 1} The mindset an NRL player develops from adversity in elite sports
46:46||Season 1, Ep. 138Few people know what is required mentally to achieve at the highest level of elite sport, and fewer still know what it’s like to have to apply that mindset to a life changing injury.Nathan Stapleton is an Australian professional rugby league player who most recently played for the London Broncos in the Kingstone Press Championship. He previously represented the Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks in the National Rugby League, primarily playing as a wing, fullback, and center.In this episode he shares:- His early life in rural AustraliaHow he ended up in elite level rugby- The pressure and expectations he was under as an athlete- The emotional lows he experienced in football- The mindsets he leaned on when things got tough- What the cost of his drive and discipline was- The experience of losing his mum at 23- The moves he made after the sharks- His experience with his wife having a miscarriage- Why he wasn’t prepared to deal with the miscarriage.Key Quotes “Because I always buried myself in physical work I didn’t know how to handle it mentally "It was a lot harder than I was anticipating."More about NathanFollow him on Instagram.You can get involved with the podcast online On facebook in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/challengesthatchangeusOr on Instagram: @challengesthatchangeusIf you want to contact the podcast, email us here: support@challengesthatchangeus.comOr check out our website: www.Challengesthatchangeus.com If you want to find out more about what Ali does, check out her business via the website:http://www.trialtitudeperformance.com.au For her other business you can find it through the websites:www.altitudefitnessarmidale.com.au@trialtitudeperformance137. 137 {Julie Allyson} From teenage motherhood to executive leader
51:00||Season 1, Ep. 137Motherhood is a big journey for any woman, but many of us consider that taking that step in your teenage years to be limiting and negative.Julie Allyson experienced this opinion from those around her when she fell pregnant at 16, but it was her mindset and determination that helped her reframe her situation so that she could not only go on to achieve great things professionally and as a mother, but also survive other big challenges later on in life.Now Julie Allyson is a transformative coach with over 30 years in nursing, including 25 in leadership roles. She helps clients navigate midlife, empowering them to make intentional decisions and build lives without regret.In this episode Julie shares:- Her experience falling pregnant as a teenager- How her community reacted to the news- The decision her baby's father made that made things harder- How she approached her education as a teen mother- How her eating disorder played a role in her journey- The moment she was diagnosed with breast cancer- The extreme lengths she went to, to work while receiving cancer treatment- How she handled the waiting game of recovery- What helped her discover her purposeKey Quotes "I was 16 and found out I was having a baby... I had to re-vamp everything and decide, am I going to have this baby or not?""I suffered from an eating disorder in my mid to late 20s... I felt like if I didn’t keep control, everything would fall apart.""His family was very traditional... there was an arranged marriage planned for him. It was hard to watch him struggle with that loyalty to his family and the love we had.More about JulieCheck out her website, Instagram and linkedin.You can get involved with the podcast online On facebook in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/challengesthatchangeusOr on Instagram: @challengesthatchangeusIf you want to contact the podcast, email us here: support@challengesthatchangeus.comOr check out our website: www.Challengesthatchangeus.com If you want to find out more about what Ali does, check out her business via the website:http://www.trialtitudeperformance.com.au For her other business you can find it through the websites:www.altitudefitnessarmidale.com.au@trialtitudeperformance136. 136 {Stephanie Burns Part 2} A Confident Public Speaker with a Hidden Struggle in Social Situations
01:10:15||Season 1, Ep. 136Trigger warning: AnxietyWelcome to part two of our chat with Stephanie Burns.In part one Stephanie shared her remarkable life and some of the huge challenges she has faced, including having to navigate violence in the home and abandonment in her teenage years.In part two she shares with us the impact those experiences have had on her and how they influenced her social anxiety.This episode is not just about her social anxiety but also about the many tools she has used to overcome it, while also learning to live with it.In this episode she shares: - The influence of her early experiences on her social skills- How she developed a fear and discomfort with social situations- How bad her social anxiety got- The connection between her abandonment and her difficulties with trusting- How it helped her to create a safe space for social interactions- The importance of knowing oneself and setting boundaries- Why it can be nice to thrive in your area of interest- The advantage of taking small steps when navigating new experiencesKey Quotes“In the old days I couldn’t go in a grocery store because I didn't know how to navigate people in a grocery store.”“When you’re having a panic attack and people go, what do you need? You don't know what you need."More about Stephanie BurnsFind her books and email info via her website or go to her facebook or linkedin.You can get involved with the podcast online On facebook in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/challengesthatchangeusOr on Instagram: @challengesthatchangeusIf you want to contact the podcast, email us here: support@challengesthatchangeus.comOr check out our website: www.Challengesthatchangeus.com If you want to find out more about what Ali does, check out her business via the website:http://www.trialtitudeperformance.com.au For her other business you can find it through the websites:www.altitudefitnessarmidale.com.au@trialtitudeperformance135. 135 {Stephanie Burns Part 1} Kicked out at 15, became human behaviour expert and military trailblazer
01:05:24||Ep. 135Trigger warning: domestic violenceToday we are joined by someone who has truly lived a life of challenges, lessons and intriguing turns.From navigating violence in the home as a teenager, to being a woman in the military when they had only just started accepting women back into the technical fields, Stephanie Burns has seen a lot.In 1973, Stephanie became one of the first women trained as an engineer by the U.S. Army Signal Corp. Graduating #1 in her class, she received orders to be trained as a military instructor. After leaving in 1976, she worked in corporate roles before starting her own training company in 1981, with NASA as her first client. Others, such as, ABC-TV and presenting at computer Expos in cities throughout the US followed, focusing on helping adults adapt to the desktop computer revolution. The experience working with adults as students fuelled her intense curiosity about the development of new skills and knowledge, taking advantage of the adult brain and nervous system. This led her to make a complete shift from the tech industry to the fields of human behaviour and adult education. A move to Australia in 1987 led to the development of the Learning to Learn program and many others, presented in corporate, government and education sectors. This program, along with others, and numerous books, have impacted many thousands.In this episode she shares:Her journey to getting into the militaryWhy she became an independent contractorWhat made her realise that adults in school behave like childrenThe challenge of teaching higher ranking adults in the militaryThe influence of Stephanie's father and intense pursuitsThe importance of a supportive communityHow a family change led her mother to abuseWhat happened when her mum thought she was doing drugs and submitted her into a heroin outpatient centreHer journey to find her dad at 15 when she was kicked out of her mum’s homeKey Quotes“I thought, she's gonna bloody kill me. She's gonna kill me and she's not gonna know she did it."“In my first class were 30 men, they all outranked me, they were older than I was and they were physically bigger.”More about Stephanie BurnsFind her books and email info via her website or go to her facebook or linkedin.You can get involved with the podcast onlineOn facebook in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/challengesthatchangeusOr on Instagram: @challengesthatchangeusIf you want to contact the podcast, email us here: support@challengesthatchangeus.comOr check out our website: www.Challengesthatchangeus.comIf you want to find out more about what Ali does, check out her business via the website: http://www.trialtitudeperformance.com.auFor her other business you can find it through the websites: www.altitudefitnessarmidale.com.au134. 134 {Desiree Stanley} How running taught me to overcome challenges
59:10||Season 1, Ep. 134What exactly does it take to go from not being able to run to the end of your block, to running ultr marathons?Desiree Stanley is the host of the Pockets of Knowledge podcast, and she discovered exactly what it would take to go from a non-runner to completing multiple ultramarathons in her 40s/. Desiree's entrepreneurial spirit drives her various ventures, showcasing adaptability and commitment to turning ideas into reality. As a digital creator and Amazon Influencer, she crafts engaging narratives that invite followers into her world. Her shopping adventures are not just about acquiring items but celebrating the joy of discovery and well-crafted deals. Through her dynamic journey, Desiree's experiences embody resilience, creativity, and an unyielding pursuit of a life rich in passion, purpose, growth, and discovery in the chapters yet to unfold.In this episode she shares:- What motivated her to begin began running at the age of 40- How she overcame her dislike of running- Her running progression.- The importance of setting small, achievable goals and gradually building up to larger ones.- Why each race distance was a new challenge- The important mindset tools that running taught her- The value of shared experiences and encouragement during tough training sessions.- How the discipline, grit, and problem-solving skills she developed through running translated to other areas of her life.Key Quotes "I ran my first 5K in 2011, my first 10K in 2012, a half marathon in 2013, and my first full marathon in 2016."“I couldn’t even run from my front door to the end of the block without being winded.”“Just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It may take longer than we think it’s going to take... but it happened ultimately. So it was hard, it was achievable, it wasn’t impossible.”More about DesireeFollow her on Instagram or listen to her podcastYou can get involved with the podcast online On facebook in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/challengesthatchangeusOr on Instagram: @challengesthatchangeusIf you want to contact the podcast, email us here: support@challengesthatchangeus.comOr check out our website: www.Challengesthatchangeus.com If you want to find out more about what Ali does, check out her business via the website:http://www.trialtitudeperformance.com.au For her other business you can find it through the websites:www.altitudefitnessarmidale.com.au@trialtitudeperformance133. 133 {Emily-Jayne Sarrof} When Burnout Leads to a Domestic Violence Relationship
01:02:33||Season 1, Ep. 133Trigger warning: domestic violence and mental healthWhen it comes to domestic violence, no two situations are the same. That is why it can be so hard to understand from the outside what exactly is going on. We might look at someone driven and successful and find it impossible to believe they could end up in such a situation, but there can be all kinds of factors that influence self worth and affect a person’s ability to break free. For Emily-Jayne Sarrof multiple instances of burn out played a big role in her story.Emily-Jayne is a Graduate of Architectural Design, Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach, Business Mentor, social media figure, host of the Empower with Em Podcast, and 6 figure business owner. She is an expert in all things creative design and leverages this to help business owners scale through elevating their branding and marketing.In this episode she shares:- The initial burn out she experienced- The burnout she experienced from the job she'd taken to help stop burn out- How domestic violence entered her life because of the burn out- What she did wrong in hustling for her business- What made her realise she had bad burn out- Why she wouldn’t have listened to people warning her before she burnt out- The moment that made her realise she was in a dv situation- How a dog park helped heal her to the point of freeing herself- The big impact her overseas travel had on her- The importance of Defining Non-Negotiables in Life and Business- How changing her belief system has helped her- What does life look for her nowKey Quotes“What was meant to become a journey for me to recover from burn out, became a journey to even deeper burn out.”“I remember saying to myself I don’t love this person, I can’t be with this person, and yet I didn’t leave“Ignoring the signs of needing rest is counter productive to the goals I want to be working towards in my business.”More about Emily-JayneInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/empowerwithem/Her podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/empowerwithempodcastYou can get involved with the podcast onlineOn facebook in our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/challengesthatchangeusOr on Instagram: @challengesthatchangeusIf you want to contact the podcast, email us here: support@challengesthatchangeus.comOr check out our website: www.Challengesthatchangeus.comIf you want to find out more about what Ali does, check out her business via the website: http://www.trialtitudeperformance.com.auFor her other business you can find it through the websites: www.altitudefitnessarmidale.com.au