Carl Vs Reality

Right, so this week I somehow end up drunk on halves-that-became-pints at a 90th birthday party, give myself the hiccups in the car, fall asleep under the duvet like a confused mole, and wake up next to the coldest, most perfect McPlant known to man. And then, because life likes a twist, we go down a rabbit hole about a viral Facebook post claiming a Missouri museum spent fifty years accidentally displaying a dead bloke as a wax figure. Spoiler: it’s bollocks. But the real story it’s based on? That one's even stranger. Anyway, it’s Carl vs Reality again — me vs the nonsense of daily life, the internet, and my own decision-making after three pints.

This week on Carl vs Reality, it’s me, the cat, and a bloke who kept a human skull for sixty years.I’ve just moved in with my girlfriend, so I’m adjusting to life as a co-habiting man with a furry little shadow who insists on nicking my chair. There’s domestic bliss, feline diplomacy, and the art of having an argument with a cat who clearly thinks he owns the place.Then we head to Vienna, where a tourist finally posts back a skull he stole from St Stephen’s Cathedral in the 1960s — because apparently that’s something you can do. It’s one of those stories that’s equal parts eerie and oddly touching, depending on how you look at it.So it’s cats, confessions, and questionable souvenirs — all the usual nonsense from Carl vs Reality.If you like your podcasts funny, honest, and a bit left-field, hit follow, share it with a mate, and let’s get weird together.Topics: living with pets, cat behaviour, moving in with your partner, weird news, stolen skull, St Stephen’s Cathedral Vienna, Franz Zehetner, morality, guilt, Austria, true-ish stories, comedy monologue podcast.

So, this week I’m talking about a Dutch bloke who got arrested for being someone he isn’t. A poor politician called Kevin Nuijten got dragged off before a live debate because security thought he was the Vegan Streaker — a fella known for charging into events half naked with “save the animals” painted across his chest.Turns out, wrong guy. But it’s a brilliant mix of politics, mistaken identity, and pants.From there I go down a rabbit hole about British streaking — Mark Roberts, the world’s most prolific nudist on the move — and somehow end up telling a story about a naked cleaner. So yeah, this one’s got nature walks, weed bushes, animal rights, and more bums than you’d expect from a podcast.

This week I somehow ended up questioning everything — including my own height. What started as a normal conversation turned into a full existential crisis involving Penguin bars, chocolate-flavour coating, and the price of cocoa beans.Turns out, a few of our favourite British snacks aren’t what they used to be. Some have been reformulated, relabelled, or quietly downgraded when nobody was looking. Even cheese slices have got in on the act.From rising cocoa prices to fake ingredients, I try to make sense of what’s real, what’s not, and why we care so much about it in the first place.Ultimately, though… it probably doesn’t matter.If it still tastes all right, we’ll eat it anyway

This week, Carl’s been watching AI John Lennon wear hats and wondering what’s real anymore — until reality hit back in the form of a bloke who ate three kilograms of Haribo and ended up in hospital.From deepfakes to deep regret, Carl unpacks the week’s weirdness: fake celebrities, genuine stomach pain, and why moderation might just be the only real thing left.Plus: listener messages, coffee-based currency conversions, and Carl’s ongoing campaign to make Starbucks the new metric system.

Hello! It’s the very first episode of Carl Vs Reality — where it’s just me, some coffee, and the absurdity of everyday life. In this one I chat about looking after my poorly girlfriend, accidentally spending a small fortune on takeaway coffee, and a world record that’ll make your bank account flinch. It’s a mix of daft stories, mild disbelief, and the kind of British humour you can only get from someone talking to themselves in a room.