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Caregivers Conversations
Coming In and Out of My Family's Karmic Fire
Although a lot has been written about compassion fatigue in the paramedic, nursing, first-time responder, or even veterinary industry, the issue has never been discussed amongst the unpaid, untrained caregivers collective. If prepared and well-trained professionals, supported by several organizations, suffer from this kind of mental exhaustion, how are informal caregivers supposed to cope with it?
In this episode, I share a bit more of my personal story and some details of the chaotic path that led me into experiencing compassion fatigue. We go from the text message that reconnected me with my father, the alcohol withdrawals, my father's dementia, the parties, and his friends' abandonment, to the moment I had to break into his house to assist him. As the story progresses, you'll better understand where the bitterness and anger against the system that doesn't protect the elderly come from.
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- What is compassion fatigue, and why it is a problem nobody is addressing properly (3:39)
- Things started to go South after replying to a text message from my father (8:10)
- After several years without seeing my father, I met him in a hospital room in a delicate state (16:17)
- The cards don't lie. Something was coming after me (25:17)
- The promise I made to my dad, and the reason why I am in this fight (30:43)
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5. Unpeeling the Onion of Our Healing Process
34:04||Ep. 5After a couple of particularly rough weeks for me, I've had a realization I would like to share. As I'm still struggling with those who abused and took advantage of my father and dealing with his shady lawyer, who I think should be disbarred, I found myself immersed in a sea of anger, rage, and frustration. It took me some time, but I've finally seen it; that state of spirit wasn't helping my father or me. Plus, I was sending tons of negative energy to the universe, and guess what I was getting back from it. In this episode, I talk from my heart about how tough it was for me to go through the last couple of days and the lessons I got from that experience. We talk about how forgetting and letting go of our ego can boost our inner peace, how powerful it can be to release the pain and the anger, and how we can get in touch with who we truly are. Today, I invite you to reflect for a moment, how would your life look like if you would let go of the anger you feel right now?In This Episode, You Will Learn:How taking care of my dad had been a fantastic healing process for my daughters and me (3:21)The anger was more about me than anything else (4:46)I realized I needed to ask myself, how does this energy serve me? (9:12)Allowing ourselves to feel the pain (18:30)Why we must understand how our ego helps us (24:24)Let's Connect:LianeJMcKinley.comLinkedInFacebook4. A Spider Bite, Acupuncture, and a Life Split Into Two with Sara Irena
51:01||Ep. 4After spending over 20 years in the Western medical field, working as a nursing and medical assistant specializing in cardiology and pulmonology, Sara Irena still wasn't delighted with what Western medicine offered. She began considering naturopathic medicine when a spider bit her. Unexpectedly, almost two years after the bite, her condition didn't get any better; she would drain the wound twice a day, she suffered from excruciating back pain and limping. The spider put her life on hold; when she got bit, Sara was getting ready for a pre-med program for medical anthropology. A friend casually suggested trying acupuncture, which she did. After the first session, the pain was gone, and she stopped limping. After the tenth session, she was even better than before the bite. Acupuncture changed her life, and for the last ten years, she has been studying Chinese medicine consistently, getting a Masters' degree and a Doctorate from the Oregon College of Oriental Medicine. Today, I'm honored of welcoming our first guest Sara Irena to the show. She is a Whole Life Coach, an experienced nurse, an expert in Chinese Medicine, a Stress Release Specialist, and a dear friend. We had a fantastic conversation about her transition from Western to Chinese medicine, her experiences as an unpaid caregiver, and the need for an integrative approach from Western and Eastern medicine to prevent and treat certain affections. Sara kindly shared three simple yet effective tips for stress release, and she gifted us with a relaxing meditation session. In This Episode, You Will Learn:What made Sara decide to start studying Chinese medicine (1:54)How acupuncture changed Sara's life (5:07)The moment Sara's partner got sick. The challenges of unpaid caregiving (12:11)After months of visiting dozens of doctors, the diagnose confirmed Sara's initial suspicion (15:09)The rabbit hole of feelings connected with the drama an unpaid caregiver goes through (20:12)Three tips to release stress (23:16)A beautiful and relaxing meditation session (35:40)Resources:Living Well Healing Arts websiteConnect with Sara:InstagramLet's Connect:LianeJMcKinley.comLinkedInFacebook3. For my dad, Bob McKinley
42:38||Ep. 3Self-forgiveness and self-compassion are also forms of self-care; they will allow us to heal and, eventually, become better caregivers. Everything is energy, from our thoughts to the food we eat; everything emanates and absorbs energy, including the person we are taking care of and ourselves. If taking care of someone produces compassion fatigue, they will also feed on our negative energy, and we will harm them. Today, we close a cycle; we go through the final part of my story, which started this journey, this crusade I'm committed to, to change the laws that protect the elderly. We explore the rugged details of the abuse, the shady behavior, and the repeated attempts to steal and take advantage of my father's diminished state from those who were supposed to take care of him. In this show, as we navigate the facts that led to our current state of things, I also share the power of self-compassion and the importance of healing and forgiveness, indispensable elements of the love story that connects me with my father. In This Episode, You Will Learn:Why we need to show compassion to ourselves before we can provide it to others (2:38)How we can affect the person we are supposed to take care of with our negative energy (4:22)Where did the money go? What I found in my father's house after I arrived (13:45)Suspicious, perfectly timed coincidences. The work visa issues (25:34)After two long years, I got the proof we needed (37:33)Final thoughts on all this mess. My gratitude for this healing opportunity (40:31)Let's Connect:LianeJMcKinley.comLinkedInFacebook1. The Unpaid Caregivers Plight
38:24||Ep. 1The plight of unpaid caregivers has been a relatively silent one. As the world experiences an ever-increasing aging population, the people behind the scenes providing support for those in need are often overlooked. Statistics indicate that 30% of caregivers die before the one they care for. It’s time to shine the spotlight on these unsung heroes and recognize their contributions, their value, and their needs. In the first episode of Caregivers Conversations, I’m diving in deep to help you gain a better understanding of the challenges caregivers face in today’s world. If you’re a caregiver, my mission is to change the way you experience your role by reinforcing the importance of self-care and boundary setting. I’ll share my own journey into caregiving and how it transformed my life, turning a difficult upbringing into a lesson in forgiveness, and ultimately, the role of a lifetime. In This Episode, You Will Learn:Getting real about the current state of the care system (3:44)Turning a tragic childhood into a rewarding future (10:01)A box-breathing exercise to help you get grounded (11:59)My journey into caregiving (14:48)Recognizing your own level of self-care (23:22)Trusting intuition as your guide (31:12) People Mentioned in this Episode:Dr. Wayne Dyer Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Book: Rebel Rising (The Sisterhood Folios Book 4) by Renee Starlynn Allen, Lina Forzley, Anita Christina Clausi, Dawn Espinoza, Jamie Lynn Gairo, Stephanie Harris, Jen Hecht, Daphne Martire, Liane McKinley, Krista Rowen Let’s Connect:LianeJMcKinley.comLinkedInFacebook