Latest episode
76. ADHD in Women, RSD and Why You’re Not “Too Sensitive” with Kristen Carder (Encore)
54:13||Ep. 76In this encore episode of Cancer Cured Me, I’m joined by Kristen Carder, host of the I Have ADHD podcast, for a brutally honest and deeply validating conversation about ADHD in women, rejection sensitive dysphoria, emotional regulation, masking, parenting and learning to trust yourself again. We talk about why rejection can feel so painful, why ADHD mothers can be triggered by seeing their own struggles mirrored in their children and why you are not broken, lazy or “too sensitive”. A must-listen for women with ADHD, anyone exploring a late ADHD diagnosis and anyone who wants to understand RSD, nervous system regulation and self-compassion more deeply.In this episode, we talk about:ADHD in women and why so many are diagnosed later in lifeRejection Sensitive Dysphoria, also known as RSDWhy rejection sensitivity can feel so painful and physicalThe link between childhood criticism, masking and adult ADHD shameWhy ADHD parenting can be so triggeringRepairing after you’ve snapped at your childThe difference between ADHD symptoms and everyday strugglesWhy “everyone gets distracted” is not the same as having ADHDEmotional regulation and nervous system supportTherapy, coaching and medication for ADHDSelf-soothing tools for rejection spiralsWhy the first sting of rejection may still happen, even when you’ve done a lot of healingADHD, perfectionism and the pressure to be palatableWhy women with ADHD often lose their voice, their “no” and their sense of selfHow to start building self-trust againKristen’s simple tool for rejection sensitivityKristen suggests:First, honour the sting.Don’t shame yourself for feeling hurt. Don’t tell yourself you’re being ridiculous. Don’t try to bulldoze the feeling away with “positive thinking” or any other nonsense that makes you want to throw a cushion across the room.Let yourself acknowledge it.Then soothe your body.That might be breathing, placing a hand on your chest, asking someone safe for a hug, stepping outside or doing something that helps your nervous system settle.Then, once your body has calmed down, check your thoughts.Ask yourself:Was this an actual rejection?Or have I created a rejection story in my mind?Because sometimes someone really has been unkind or dismissive. But very often, especially with ADHD and RSD, we are reacting to a scenario our brain has created to protect us.It’s clever. It’s exhausting. And it is not always accurate.About Kristen CarderKristen Carder is an ADHD coach, host of the I Have ADHD podcast and founder of Focused, a global coaching programme and community for adults with ADHD.After being diagnosed with ADHD at 21, Kristen spent years learning how ADHD actually affects adult life, relationships, work, parenting, emotional regulation and self-trust. Through her podcast, coaching and community, she helps adults with ADHD feel less alone and learn practical ways to support themselves.You can find Kristen here:Podcast: I Have ADHDInstagram: @i.have.adhd.podcastProgramme: Focused ADHD coaching programmeListen if you’re looking for support with:ADHD in women, adult ADHD, late ADHD diagnosis, rejection sensitive dysphoria, RSD, emotional regulation, nervous system regulation, ADHD parenting, ADHD mothers, ADHD and shame, ADHD and self-trust, masking in women, ADHD coaching, trauma-informed ADHD support, neurodivergence, ADHD relationships and feeling too sensitive.Final words from meThis episode is such a gorgeous reminder that healing doesn’t mean never being triggered again.It doesn’t mean never snapping, spiralling, overthinking or feeling that awful sting of rejection.It means noticing sooner.Repairing quicker.Understanding yourself more gently.And slowly, slowly learning that you are allowed to be human.You are a human being, not a human doing.And if this episode helps you feel even a tiny bit more understood, then I am so glad you’re here.
More episodes
View all episodes
75. An Apology to Fearne Cotton: People Pleasing, Panic Attacks and Knowing When to Pause
21:04||Ep. 75I owe Fearne Cotton an apology.Years ago, I judged her after seeing one tiny moment from the outside. But after hearing her speak so honestly about people pleasing, panic attacks, public scrutiny, losing jobs and the pressure of being liked, I saw her completely differently.In this solo episode, I talk about what Fearne’s words brought up for me, why people pleasing is often a nervous system response, and why so many women reach a point in midlife where they realise they can’t keep saying yes at the expense of themselves.I also share why I’m pausing Cancer Cured Me after 75 episodes, what I’ve learned from creating this first long season, and how I’m putting more energy into The Wellness Collection, my non-profit CIC providing funded retreats and support for people recovering after cancer.A very honest episode about judgement, burnout, boundaries, rest, purpose and knowing when to pause.Please keep messaging while we're on our break - I always love hearing from you and will get back to everyone personally.Big love, La x74. Cancer Took Her Nose, But Not Her Voice - Vikki Feltham's Inspirational Story
01:04:56||Ep. 74To mark Head and Neck Cancer Awareness Month, I’m joined by the incredible Vikki Feltham - a senior leader, speaker and advocate whose story is one of the most powerful conversations I’ve ever had on Cancer Cured Me.At 34, after almost five years of nosebleeds, pain and being repeatedly told it was nothing serious, Vikki was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma inside her nose. Her life-saving treatment meant losing her nose, followed by chemotherapy, radiotherapy and a long physical and emotional recovery.But this episode is not only about cancer. It is about identity, visible difference, self-advocacy, motherhood, medical gaslighting, confidence and what happens when life strips you back to the rawest version of yourself.Vikki shares how she went from hiding at home after treatment to using her story on TikTok, speaking publicly, working with cancer organisations and becoming an advocate for earlier diagnosis and better patient-led support.We talk about the loneliness after treatment ends, the cliff edge so many cancer patients face, how visible difference changes the way you move through the world, and why rebuilding after adversity is messy, brave and deeply human.NHS guidance lists persistent one-sided blocked nose, nosebleeds, loss of smell and blood-stained mucus as possible symptoms of nasal and sinus cancer, although these symptoms can also be caused by less serious conditions. If something does not feel right, please keep asking questions and seek medical advice. In this episode, we talk about:The nosebleeds that began years before Vikki’s diagnosisBeing dismissed, misdiagnosed and lost in the systemThe shock of being told she had head and neck cancerLosing her nose as part of life-saving treatmentChemotherapy, radiotherapy and the reality of recoveryThe emotional cliff edge after treatment endsVisible difference, confidence and learning to be seen againHow Vikki used TikTok to help others advocate for themselvesWhy cancer recovery is not just physicalRebuilding identity after traumaMotherhood, purpose and choosing not to shrink your lifeThe power of saying, “If not me, then who?”Connect with Vikki: Click here check out her podcast coming Summer 2026Insta: vikkidotcom73. How to Break Negative Patterns and Habits Without Willpower
12:34||Ep. 73Why do you keep falling back into the same habits - no matter how hard you try?It’s not a lack of discipline… this is what's keeping you stuck...Today’s episode is for you if you’ve ever thought…Why can’t I just change?Why do I keep falling back into the same habits, the same patterns, the same behaviours - no matter how hard I try?Because here’s the truth - it’s not that you’re lazy, undisciplined or lacking willpower.There’s actually a much deeper reason behind it.In this episode, I’m diving into the science of behaviour patterns - including the concept of Pavlov’s dog - and how your environment is quietly shaping your habits every single day without you even realising it.Your home, your routines, even your kitchen or sofa… they’re not neutral spaces.They’re full of emotional and behavioural triggers that keep you stuck in the same loops.And once you understand this, everything starts to make sense.I’m also sharing something I’ve personally noticed - how I can be one version of myself at home, and a completely different version of myself when I step away. More present, more regulated, more intentional.And that’s where the real shift happens.Because sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do isn’t try harder…it’s step out of the environment that’s keeping you stuck.In this episode, I talk about:Why your habits aren’t a discipline problemHow your environment creates automatic behavioursThe link between dopamine, stress and daily patternsWhy you feel different on holiday (and what that tells you)How to gently break negative patterns without forceThe power of a “pattern interrupt” and why it changes everythingHow retreats help reset your nervous system and create lasting changeThis is exactly why I believe so deeply in the power of retreats.Not as an escape - but as a reset.A chance to step away from the noise, the pressure, the constant doing…and finally hear yourself again.Because when you remove the triggers, regulate your nervous system, and give yourself space -you don’t just feel better…You start to think differently.You make clearer decisions.You create new patterns that actually stick.And once you’ve experienced that version of yourself…you can’t un-know it.Your InvitationIf something in this episode resonated with you - if you know you’re ready for a shift but can’t seem to create it in your current environment - this could be exactly what you need.I’m currently creating a waitlist for my upcoming luxury wellbeing retreats in the Cotswolds.Think beautiful countryside, complete calm, chef-prepared nourishing food, powerful workshops, and world-class teachers - all designed to help you reset, regulate and reconnect with yourself.This isn’t about escaping your life.It’s about changing how you live it.Spaces will be offered to the waitlist first.→ Join the waitlist now via our website www.lalaloves.com→ Or message us directly with the word WAITLIST via Instagram @lalalovesretreatsIf retreats don’t feel accessible right now, please still reach out - there are other ways we can work together.72. How to Overcome Loneliness and Make Great Connections
11:53||Ep. 72If you’ve been feeling more isolated than you expected… even with a full life, a busy schedule and constant digital connection - this episode will land.Because something is shifting.We are more “connected” than ever, yet so many people are quietly experiencing loneliness, disconnection and a lack of real community. And I’ve been feeling it too.In this episode of Cancer Cured Me, I’m talking honestly about what I saw, felt and realised after pushing myself out of my comfort zone and stepping into a room full of people - in real life.And what became incredibly clear is this:We are not designed to do life alone.And no amount of online interaction replaces genuine human connection.In this episode, I share:Why loneliness is becoming so common in the age of remote work and online businessHow working from home and digital-first lives are impacting mental health and wellbeingWhat I witnessed at a live networking event that completely shifted my perspectiveThe truth about AI - and why you are still the edgeWhy in-person events, retreats and community spaces are becoming more important than everThe role of connection in regulating your nervous system and supporting emotional wellbeingHow to overcome loneliness in simple, realistic waysWhy authenticity and being physically present with others changes everythingThe power of shared experiences - from conversations to collective healing spacesLet’s talk about what actually helps:It doesn’t have to be something big.It could be:Saying yes to a local class or workshopWalking into a room where you don’t know anyone (I did exactly that)Joining a community, even if it feels slightly uncomfortable at firstChoosing an in-person experience over another night on the sofaBecause the shift that happens when you’re with people - not just messaging them - is immediate.Your body feels it. Your energy changes. You remember what it feels like to belong.A personal invitation from me:I’m opening the waitlist for my next retreat in the Cotswolds this September - and it’s everything this episode speaks to.A beautiful setting, designed to help you slow down properly.Space to breathe, move, reset and reconnect.But more than anything - it’s the women who come.The conversations, the shared moments, the friendships that form so naturally when you’re in the right environment with the right people.That’s the part you can’t manufacture online.📍 25th - 28th September 2026📍 The CotswoldsIf you want to be part of it:DM me WAITLIST on Instagram @lalalovesretreatsor use the contact details belowwww.lalaloves.comEmail: alex@balancedbodyandretreats.com.The takeaway:Loneliness isn’t something to push through or ignore.It’s a signal.A signal that you need connection, community and real human interaction.And the good news is - it’s closer than you think.If this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need it.And make one small move this week towards connection - you never know where it might lead.71. Why A Healthy Lymphatic System Will Save Your Life And How To Achieve It
47:33||Ep. 71FIND YOUR NEAREST BODY BALLANCER LYMPHATIC DRAINAGE MASSAGE HERE (INCLUDING MY OWN CLINIC!) https://bodyballancer.co.uk/where-to-find-us/I’m revisiting this episode because it is such an important one. So many of our health issues are caused by a compromised lymphatic system and yet we know very little about this vital part of our immune system.This conversation with lymphatic expert, Jules Willcocks is one I truly believe is worth hearing, or hearing again. Jules shares one of the best explanations I’ve ever heard of how the lymphatic system works, using the powerful image of the body as an aquarium - and once you hear it, it really does all start to make sense.Jules is the founder of Body Ballancer UK (medical grade lymphatic drainage systems owned and loved by celebrities such as Jennifer Aniston, Lady Gaga and many more) and a fountain of knowledge when it comes to lymphatic health, lymphatic drainage and why this often-overlooked system has such a huge impact on how we feel day to day. In this episode, we break it all down in a really simple way - what the lymphatic system actually is, why it matters so much for immunity, inflammation and detoxification, and what signs might suggest it is not working as well as it could.We also talk about the connection between the lymphatic system and recurring illness, swelling, headaches, allergies, cellulite, gut health, post-surgery healing and even recovery after cancer treatment. If you have ever wondered why you feel puffy, run down, inflamed or like your body is struggling to keep up, this episode could open your eyes.In this episode, we cover:what the lymphatic system is and why so many people know so little about itwhy the lymphatic system is vital for immune health and detoxificationcommon signs of poor lymphatic flow including colds, allergies, headaches, dull skin, bloating and swellingthe connection between lymphatic health, inflammation and overall wellbeinghow movement, deep breathing, hydration and dry body brushing can help support lymphatic drainagewhat manual lymphatic drainage is and why it can be so beneficialwhy lymphatic support can be especially important after surgery and cancer treatmenthow compression therapy and the Body Ballancer workthe aesthetic benefits of supporting lymphatic flow, including reducing puffiness, fluid retention and cellulitewhy supporting your lymphatic system may help you feel lighter, clearer and better in your bodyThis is such an important conversation because we are simply not taught enough about the lymphatic system, despite how central it is to our health. Whether you are interested in reducing inflammation, supporting your immune system, improving recovery, easing fluid retention or simply understanding your body better, I hope this episode helps you.As always, this podcast is here to share stories, wisdom and tools that might support your healing and help you feel more empowered in your health.If this episode resonates, please do share it with someone who might need it70. How To Have Boundaries Without Upsetting People
57:17||Ep. 70We revisit this important gem of an episode delving into the complexities of people pleasing and the importance of setting boundaries with psychotherapist and boundaries expert Elsie Owen. We explore how people pleasing often stems from a desire for emotional safety and the impact of childhood experiences on these behaviours. Our discussion highlights the necessity of self-regulation and the strategies for establishing healthy boundaries in relationships. Elsie shares insights from her course, emphasising the importance of pausing and reflecting before responding to social pressures, ultimately guiding listeners towards a more authentic and balanced way of living. We even answer the important question: "how can I have boundaries and not upset people?"Key takeaways:People pleasing is often about regulating our own discomfort rather than genuinely caring for others.Setting boundaries is crucial for emotional safety and self-regulation.Identifying whether actions stem from kindness or obligation is key to overcoming people pleasing.Childhood experiences significantly shape our people pleasing behaviours.Emotional safety is about feeling okay in social situations, not just physical safety.Learning to pause before responding can help in setting boundaries.It's important to recognise that we cannot control how others feel or react.Creating secret boundaries can help ease the transition into more assertive communication.Self-regulation is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and boundaries.The journey of unlearning people pleasing behaviours is possible and empowering.Connect with Elsie:Insta: @boundarieswithelsieWeb: www.elsieowen.comDOWNLOAD HERE! A free guide from your host to help you build calm into your day and regulate your nervous system. If you need some gentle support in every day life and some simple, quick tools to help you feel more like you again, download this FREE GUIDE NOW