CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of childhood rejection, bullying, and family abuse. "Too much" and "not enough" at the same time: that's how today’s guest describes growing up in a family that treats ADHD as a character flaw. Kristen Carder is the host of the I Have ADHD Podcast and author of You're Not in Trouble: The ADHD Guide to Building Healthy, Connected Relationships. Whitney and Kristen discuss rejection sensitivity, scapegoating, and what happens when a parent or sibling insists your diagnosis isn't real. Connect with Kristen I Have ADHD Podcast: https://ihaveadhd.com/You're Not in Trouble: https://ihaveadhd.com/book/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/i.have.adhd.podcast/Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.coFollow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmftOrder Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivitySign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0oThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of childhood abuse, including emotional and physical abuse, and a grandparent's inappropriate behavior toward children. In this Q&A episode, a listener writes in about a father who minimized her mother's abuse. The second listener describes growing up as the family scapegoat.Resources mentioned in the episode:When Grief and Anger Live in the Same Room: https://callinghome.co/topics/grieving-complicated-relationships/when-grief-and-anger-live-in-the-same-roomThe Grief That No One Sees: Why You’re Allowed to Mourn Complicated People: https://callinghome.co/topics/grieving-complicated-relationships/the-grief-that-no-one-sees-why-you-re-allowed-to-mourn-complicated-peopleA Letter to the Mother I Needed Worksheet: https://callinghome.co/topics/healing-from-neglectful-rejecting-and-cruel-mothers/a-letter-to-the-mother-i-neededThe Parent You Have: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/808472/the-parent-you-have-by-whitney-goodman-lmft/ Maintenance Phase Estrangement Episode: https://www.patreon.com/maintenancephase/posts/october-bonus-173122402 Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.coFollow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmftOrder Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivitySign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0oThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Jordan Pickell is the author of Untangling the Ties That Bind: Heal Enmeshment Trauma and Break Dysfunctional Patterns with Family Members. Jordan joins Whitney to explain why enmeshment can feel endearing from the inside. They discuss how to separate closeness and cultural values from control. They also talk about being a parent who grew up enmeshed and how to raise kids without swinging into a new version of the same pattern. Jordan’s Book: Untangling the Ties That Bind: Heal Enmeshment Trauma and Break Dysfunctional Patterns with Family Members: https://www.amazon.com/Untangling-Ties-That-Bind-Dysfunctional/dp/164848848X Follow Jordan on Instagram: @jordanpickellcounsellingWhitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.coFollow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmftOrder Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivitySign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0oThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of physical and emotional abuse by a parent.This week Whitney answers three questions on spending time with family during the holidays. One listener finally enjoys the holidays since skipping her authoritarian parents' Christmas and wants to know what happens when she runs out of excuses. Another listener asks whether to FaceTime her in-laws after a grandmother snapped at her husband in front of their kids. The third listener can't plan a visit to the nieces and nephews she adores because every trip stalls on "what about dad?"Spend the holidays with us at Calling Home!Use the code THREE at checkout to save 50% on your first month until 11:59 PM ET on November 1. : http://www.callinghome.co/holidaysWhitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.coFollow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmftOrder Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivitySign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0oThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

You have about four weeks until Thanksgiving. Many people spend them dreading it and then repeat last year's holiday all over again. Whitney responds to comments she got on Instagram about the hardest parts of the holidays. A handful of themes emerged including grief, other people's expectations, faking it, and watching everyone else's family. She also speaks to the parents and siblings who have been told "we're not coming this year."Spend the holidays with us at Calling Home!Use the code THREE at checkout to save 50% on your first month until 11:59 PM ET on November 1. : http://www.callinghome.co/holidaysWhitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.coFollow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmftOrder Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivitySign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0oThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of childhood emotional neglect, verbal and physical abuse, and parental abduction.How is it that your grandmother is loving and steady to you, but failed to raise your mother in a way that she can do the same? A fellow therapist writes in about exactly that, and Whitney offers a way to hold both truths at once. In the second listener question, a woman describes growing up moving between eight houses and going to seven schools after her mother moved the kids away from their father. She then learned decades later that his side of the story was very different from the one the listener had always been told.Sign up to spend the holidays with us at Calling Home: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/NZRkOwOPWhitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.coFollow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmftOrder Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivitySign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0oThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Whitney is fed up with how the "concept creep" of estrangement gets used to shut down conversations about real family harm. She traces the term back to psychologist Nick Haslam's actual 2016 research, then walks through decades of data that make the case these harms aren't new, just newly named.Sign up to spend the holidays with us at Calling Home: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/NZRkOwOPWhitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.coFollow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmftOrder Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivitySign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0oThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of child abuse, sexual abuse of a child, infidelity, and family estrangement.A listener writes in with a lifetime of family secrets. She asks Whitney how to heal and move forward after finally breaking a cycle her parents and grandparents never did. Whitney draws the line between a parent's past regret and a child's present safety, and makes the case for why believing her daughter was the real act of breaking the cycle.Sign up to spend the holidays with us at Calling Home: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/NZRkOwOPWhitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.coFollow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmftOrder Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivitySign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0oThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Journalist Ashley Oerman joins Whitney to talk about her new book, Motherf*cked: How to Stop Your Mother's Toxic Drama from Ruining Your Life, and the low contact relationship with her own mother that inspired it.Connect with Ashley Oerman Book, Motherf*cked: How to Stop Your Mother's Toxic Drama from Ruining Your Life: https://link.amazon/B0jexMTjKAs an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.The Emotional Support Newsletter on Substack: https://ashleyoerman.substack.comFollow Ashley on Instagram: @ashleyoermanHave a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club: https://callinghome.coFollow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmftOrder Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity: https://sitwithwhit.com/toxic-positivitySign up for updates on Whitney's new book: https://cmnyyv4kpyt.typeform.com/to/PHMzjy0oThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.