Bottled Up - problem drinking

In this episode, John talks about the Dry Drunk (also known as white knuckling). John explores the difference between simply stopping drinking and genuine recovery. He explains the idea of the “dry drunk”, or “white knuckling” — when alcohol has been removed but the underlying issues remain – anger, resentment, shame, guilt, personal insecurity and other deep-rooted difficulties. John discusses why abstinence alone may leave both the drinker and their family feeling vulnerable, and why structured recovery involves confronting the reasons behind the drinking. He looks at responsibility, making amends and dealing with difficult character traits, arguing that stopping drinking is only the beginning: recovery is about change, healing and building a new life.For 1-2-1 counselling with John visit: https://bottled-up.com/1-to-1/Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.comDr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

In this episode John talks to Ben about one of the most confusing and frustrating aspects of addiction: denial. The deception, dishonesty and lies can be maddening. But is something more powerful and complex at work? Drawing on John's own experience of alcoholism and his experience as a professor of addiction and counsellor, John explains why many drinkers genuinely struggle to recognise the problem, why blame and excuses become part of addiction, and why families so often feel gaslit, angry, frustrated, offended and exhausted. John discusses practical ways to avoid being drawn into impossible arguments, focus on the consequences rather than the drinking itself, and explain why hope—not confrontation—is often the key to lasting change.For 1-2-1 counselling with John visit: https://bottled-up.com/1-to-1/Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.comDr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

In this episode John answers your questions. He looks at the question of tough love or punishment, setting boundaries, and deaing with anger.For 1-2-1 counselling with John visit: https://bottled-up.com/1-to-1/Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.comDr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

Family interventions are one of the most effective yet least-used ways of helping someone with a drinking problem. Many families assume they are too complicated or fear making things worse, but a well-planned intervention can become a powerful catalyst for change. In this episode, John and Lou talk about John's new book "How to Plan and Deliver an Effective Intervention" and explore a practical, step-by-step approach to preparing and delivering an intervention with confidence, compassion and purpose. They discuss why success isn't measured solely by whether the drinker accepts help. Even when the outcome isn't immediate, the process itself can empower families, strengthen boundaries and help loved ones regain hope, clarity and control.Download the book here: https://bottled-up.com/bottled-up-books/intervention-book/You can buy the new book here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Plan-Deliver-Effective-Intervention/dp/B0H7N7TTC7/ref=sr_1_1?crid=15TLHJG2HWXB3&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1aduMjkxp1noSrWAmgxtEw.4K_dPeGHsdbdPbcxiY_QBYWyXcYxW12byxFqz6UL6_I&dib_tag=se&keywords=john+mcmahon+intervention+bottled+up&qid=1784480832&sprefix=john+mcmahon+intervention+bottled+up%2Caps%2C132&sr=8-1For 1-2-1 counselling with John visit: https://bottled-up.com/1-to-1/Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.comDr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

Deciding whether to leave a loved one who has a drinking problem is one of the most difficult choices anyone can face. In this episode, Lou and John explore how to recognise when that moment has arrived, balancing compassion with the need to protect yourself and your family. They discuss the importance of safety, seeking objective advice, understanding your legal and financial position, and avoiding rushed decisions driven by guilt or fear. The conversation also examines children, boundaries, and preparing emotionally and practically, helping listeners make informed decisions while remembering that, apart from safety, the final choice is always their own.For 1-2-1 counselling with John visit: https://bottled-up.com/1-to-1/Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.comDr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

This episode explores one of the hardest aspects of living with a problem drinker: trying to protect your children. Drawing on their own family experiences, Lou once again talks with Ben and they discuss the fear, guilt and uncertainty of raising children alongside a problem drinker, balancing honesty with protection, and deciding when and how to explain addiction. They reflect on shielding children from trauma, preserving healthy relationships with both parents where possible, and the importance of kindness towards yourself when there are no perfect decisions. They discuss getting help as early as possible, resilience, compassion and using painful experiences to help others.For 1-2-1 counselling with John visit: https://bottled-up.com/1-to-1/Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.comDr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

In this second part, Lou and John talk to Ben about children, recovery and the lasting impact of addiction. Ben discusses protecting his children and deciding when to talk to them about their mother's drinking, and the difficult balance between shielding loved ones and confronting reality. He reflects on his wife's unexpected sobriety, his own struggles with anxiety, depression and complex PTSD, and the challenge of recovering when trust and communication remain damaged. Lou, John and Ben explore shame, hope, healing and the importance of seeking help early.For 1-2-1 counselling with John visit: https://bottled-up.com/1-to-1/Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.comDr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.

In the first of a two-part special, Lou and John interview Bottled Up producer Ben about the early years of living with a partner's alcohol addiction. Ben describes the gradual realisation that something was wrong, the shock of discovering hidden alcohol, the confusion, fear and denial that followed. The conversation explores secrecy, broken trust, emotional isolation and trying to understand addiction. Ben reflects on finding support through Bottled Up and counselling, and learning that he could not control another person's drinking. Lou and John also talk about the importance of self-care, friendship, exercise and maintaining hope during the chaos.For 1-2-1 counselling with John visit: https://bottled-up.com/1-to-1/Please be very clear that, at Bottled Up we strongly advise people not to remain in violent or abusive relationships. We understand fully that in many cases circumstances can become untenable. We discuss this fully in our Podcast "Should I Stay or Should I Go".For more information on the service Bottled Up provides, visit: www.bottled-up.comDr John McMahon is a professor and was the senior lecturer for addiction counsellors at the University of the West of Scotland. He has led prominent studies into alcohol addiction for more than 15 years. Before this, for many years, John had an addiction to alcohol. He has been sober for over 40 years.Lou Lewis is a professional counsellor and the co-founder of Bottled Up with John. Lou's first husband had an addiction to alcohol for many years, from that experience and her counselling Lou has a deep understanding of the difficulties of living with problem drinkers.John and Lou are married and live in England. They founded Bottled Up in the hope that it would help change your life.