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Boners of The Heart Podcast

Nipple Covers and Suited Men

SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA

There's a bit of passive agressive energy coming in early on this one, folks. Rose is feling very depressed after a night of drinking, Alice is terrified after catching herself topless in the mirror. A new host drops into the show by the name of Steph or Margo or Ronda or something. Eventually, your #1 gals discuss the relative merits of late night talk hosts and David Letterman's intern intercourse.

Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time

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  • 2022: Live

    01:07:04|
    Snedheads and Matafans rejoice - Rose and Alice have taken the stage for this one-off episode, recorded in front of the live studio audience. Luckily, in the last two years since the last episode not a whole lot has happened so it's only the important issues in this one. Liam Hemsworth's too long hair, Ellen Degeneres I-Told-You-So and The Top Celeb Couples of 2022.
  • Leave It All In

    31:00|
    Alice and Rose discuss the anatomy of a dinner fight about mental development for about 10 minutes followed by Rose having a moment of either self-reflection or self-doubt which Tim has decided to leave in. Then, it's essentially couples' therapy with an acknowledgment that despite all the fighting and bickering - this is the very closest to a relationship Rose has ever experienced with another person. Meanwhile Alice's co-dependent relationships abound and some light ruminations on fears about marriage.
  • How Be Single

    49:47|
    Alice and Rose get the microphones out after watching the 2016 romantic comedy 'How To Be Single'. They talk about love, life, relationships and the subliminal reinforcement of white supremacy through a lack of onscreen representation. Aussie Annie makes an unwelcome return. 
  • Alice Shouldn't Live Here Anymore

    40:35|
    Alice bought a microwave and it may have led to a fuse blowing in the Airbnb. The discussion quickly devolves into a full examination of Rose and Alice's particular brands of anxiety. Not many laughs in this one but sometimes you have to get heavy, y'know.
  • Here Come The Brides

    56:09|
    Alice and Rose are back in the UK, back in a quarantine and absolutely back on form. The two plan their imaginary weddings and get into a lengthy and somewhat boring argument about open marriages. Both Alice and Rose recorded this episode lying down and Alice is currently on her period. Email bonersoftheheart@gmail.com
  • Jacinda Ardern - That Rando Bitch

    35:12|
    A episode of Boners start with donuts, continues with Alice's vape struggle, rounds the barriers to both gals potential political careers and ends with a realisation that having to stand by your own opinions is too hard. Why does anyone do it? Also - Chris Martin is hot and no correspondence will be entered into on this matter. Thank you.
  • Repress and Do Not Address

    42:00|
    Alice and Rose are back in lockdown together and that can mean only one thing - more Boners of The Heart! Alice is claiming vehemently that this show passes the Béchamel Sauce Test. Rose is under pressure to figure out whether she's getting too famous to lust after celebrities, and worse still, if it's still a valid podcast premise in 2020. Greg The Egg gets a good, strong look in and Russell Crowe is very much off the list. May not have ever actually been on it!
  • Kelly Clarkson Is Cool

    35:46|
    Alice defends Kelly Clarkson despite Rose not bringing her up or having any opinion about her. Alice attacks Rose for her choice to be a strong, independent woman who doesn't reply to texts. Have you noticed that Rose writes these descriptions? I wonder if she'll ever know (she won't).
  • Optimistic Cynic

    31:16|
    On today's episode! We discuss: regretful covid purchases, depression, optimism and sleep.