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Boners of The Heart Podcast
Marital Aids for Teens
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SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA
Elliott Gould, Steve Buscemi, Pierce Brosnan's eyes - oh boy! It's an old man extravaganza with the gals this week. Rose has her first period in AGES and cat posters are telling her to burn her apartment building down, cool eh?! Her and Alice discuss the critical flaw with the male pill: You have to trust men to tell the truth about it and the gals establish some rules for approaching parenthood. Also, what every teenage girl should be taught (1. masturbation 2. buy a viberator on your 16th birthday) plus Alice's conflicted relationship with porn and the girls' need for free range adult films.
Trailer: The Male Gayz
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Episode 4
48:31|Bring! Bring! The podcast is inundated with callers this episode much to Rose's dismay and Alice’s delight. The girlies bring this surprise comeback to an end, promising to record again when they feel like it.Episode Three
37:18|Once again, Rose talks about being afraid of dying and Alice does nothing to make her feel better. Both are struggling with dopamine addiction (in a very relatable way) and Alice makes Rose list her favourite things about her.Episode Two
50:40|They’re back again! And this time, it’s just as long! Rose and Alice debate the end of the world and draw no useful conclusions on anything discussed!Welcome Back...
47:25|After a 5-year(?) hiatus, regrettably lifelong friends, Rose and Alice return to record 4 episodes of the once hit podcast Boners Of The Heart. It’s a long boring discussion with almost no substance whatsoever — but don’t worry, they’re still both in bad moods!2022: Live
01:07:04|Snedheads and Matafans rejoice - Rose and Alice have taken the stage for this one-off episode, recorded in front of the live studio audience. Luckily, in the last two years since the last episode not a whole lot has happened so it's only the important issues in this one. Liam Hemsworth's too long hair, Ellen Degeneres I-Told-You-So and The Top Celeb Couples of 2022.
Leave It All In
31:00|Alice and Rose discuss the anatomy of a dinner fight about mental development for about 10 minutes followed by Rose having a moment of either self-reflection or self-doubt which Tim has decided to leave in. Then, it's essentially couples' therapy with an acknowledgment that despite all the fighting and bickering - this is the very closest to a relationship Rose has ever experienced with another person. Meanwhile Alice's co-dependent relationships abound and some light ruminations on fears about marriage.
How Be Single
49:47|Alice and Rose get the microphones out after watching the 2016 romantic comedy 'How To Be Single'. They talk about love, life, relationships and the subliminal reinforcement of white supremacy through a lack of onscreen representation. Aussie Annie makes an unwelcome return.
Alice Shouldn't Live Here Anymore
40:35|Alice bought a microwave and it may have led to a fuse blowing in the Airbnb. The discussion quickly devolves into a full examination of Rose and Alice's particular brands of anxiety. Not many laughs in this one but sometimes you have to get heavy, y'know.
Here Come The Brides
56:09|Alice and Rose are back in the UK, back in a quarantine and absolutely back on form. The two plan their imaginary weddings and get into a lengthy and somewhat boring argument about open marriages. Both Alice and Rose recorded this episode lying down and Alice is currently on her period. Email bonersoftheheart@gmail.com