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Boners of The Heart Podcast
Death Penalty
SPONSORED BY KARMA COLA
Alice attempts desparately to hold in a fart while trying to match Rose's vocal range (both singing and accent work). The gals are looking for Australians who've been fingering their girlfriend at a bar. Is that you? Call now! Rose and Alice move into more high brow territory to discuss the possibility of gas effecting serious court decisions (To Kill A Mocking Bird) and great speeches (both MLK and Lincoln). Plus the myriad issues of Ted Bundy's good looks.
We al get a bit smarter from some case law via Alice a very scary story to boot.
We interrupt this podcast recording to bring you A MURDERER AT THE DOOR (maybe). Rose and Alice then get so grimmed out by all the murder talk that they transition into chats about high school, teenaged boozing and also, childhood boozing.
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Episode 4
48:31|Bring! Bring! The podcast is inundated with callers this episode much to Rose's dismay and Alice’s delight. The girlies bring this surprise comeback to an end, promising to record again when they feel like it.Episode Three
37:18|Once again, Rose talks about being afraid of dying and Alice does nothing to make her feel better. Both are struggling with dopamine addiction (in a very relatable way) and Alice makes Rose list her favourite things about her.Episode Two
50:40|They’re back again! And this time, it’s just as long! Rose and Alice debate the end of the world and draw no useful conclusions on anything discussed!Welcome Back...
47:25|After a 5-year(?) hiatus, regrettably lifelong friends, Rose and Alice return to record 4 episodes of the once hit podcast Boners Of The Heart. It’s a long boring discussion with almost no substance whatsoever — but don’t worry, they’re still both in bad moods!2022: Live
01:07:04|Snedheads and Matafans rejoice - Rose and Alice have taken the stage for this one-off episode, recorded in front of the live studio audience. Luckily, in the last two years since the last episode not a whole lot has happened so it's only the important issues in this one. Liam Hemsworth's too long hair, Ellen Degeneres I-Told-You-So and The Top Celeb Couples of 2022.
Leave It All In
31:00|Alice and Rose discuss the anatomy of a dinner fight about mental development for about 10 minutes followed by Rose having a moment of either self-reflection or self-doubt which Tim has decided to leave in. Then, it's essentially couples' therapy with an acknowledgment that despite all the fighting and bickering - this is the very closest to a relationship Rose has ever experienced with another person. Meanwhile Alice's co-dependent relationships abound and some light ruminations on fears about marriage.
How Be Single
49:47|Alice and Rose get the microphones out after watching the 2016 romantic comedy 'How To Be Single'. They talk about love, life, relationships and the subliminal reinforcement of white supremacy through a lack of onscreen representation. Aussie Annie makes an unwelcome return.
Alice Shouldn't Live Here Anymore
40:35|Alice bought a microwave and it may have led to a fuse blowing in the Airbnb. The discussion quickly devolves into a full examination of Rose and Alice's particular brands of anxiety. Not many laughs in this one but sometimes you have to get heavy, y'know.
Here Come The Brides
56:09|Alice and Rose are back in the UK, back in a quarantine and absolutely back on form. The two plan their imaginary weddings and get into a lengthy and somewhat boring argument about open marriages. Both Alice and Rose recorded this episode lying down and Alice is currently on her period. Email bonersoftheheart@gmail.com