Blended

How much is one person supposed to handle?In this episode, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Nathalie Holmes-Lewis and Cilla Kessie to unpack one layered and emotionally heavy dilemma from a stepmum who feels like she is drowning.She is navigating a high conflict ex who tells the children that their parents would still be happy if she was not around, even though she had nothing to do with the breakup. At the same time, she has discovered emotional cheating in her own marriage, messages, pictures and behaviour that have left her questioning how far it really went.Between solicitor emails, blended family pressures and constant tension, she feels like she is carrying more than one person should.The ladies do not hold back. They discuss whether emotional cheating can sometimes cut deeper than physical betrayal, how much damage a high conflict ex can really do to a relationship and whether love is enough when trust keeps being shaken.They believe you should do everything you can to protect your marriage, but the panel also ask a hard question. Where is the line? At what point does staying become self sacrifice?This episode is honest, uncomfortable and full of the realities many blended families face behind closed doors.

In this episode, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Nathalie Holmes-Lewis and Cilla Kessie to tackle two dilemmas that spark a strong debate around trust, loyalty and parenting boundaries.In the first, a stepmum who has worked hard to build a close relationship with her stepdaughter discovers a secret TikTok account with content her patrtner would find inappropriate for her age. The stepdaughter begs her not to tell her dad. She does not want to betray the trust she has built, but she also does not want to betray her partner.In the second dilemma, a biological mum finds graphic images on her son’s phone. He is deeply embarrassed and asks her not to tell his dad. She feels torn between protecting her son’s confidence and parenting as a united team.Kate shares her view that some things can stay between you and your child, but when it comes to safety and serious issues, secrets are not protection, they are responsibility.The ladies do not hold back. They discuss whether there are ever circumstances where keeping a secret is justified, whether the rules change between stepchildren and biological children, and where the line sits between protecting trust and undermining your partner. They have an open conversation about why is sex taboo and the dangers of young boys watching porn.

In this episode of Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-host Cilla Kessie and special guest co-host comedian, actor and writer Travis Jay, who’s bringing the male perspective as more and more dilemmas from dads land in the inbox.The first dilemma is from a father whose teenage children want nothing to do with his new partner after their mum told them he had an affair. Her children have welcomed him warmly, but his own kids are cold and distant. Should children even be told about affairs? And if an affair did happen, does that change what they deserve to know?The conversation quickly heats up. Travis argues that if he didn’t cheat, he should fight the narrative. That sparks debate about loyalty, accountability and whether kids ever really know the full truth about their parents. The panel also get into a bigger question, do women cheat as much as men, or are we just not talking about it?The second dilemma comes from a dad struggling with his ex moving on. He insists it’s not jealousy, but he’s uncomfortable with another man spending time around his daughter and wants to meet him. His ex says it’s too soon. The panel question whether if it’s too soon to meet the dad, it’s too soon to meet the child.

In this episode of Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and special guest co-host Dr Lalitaa Suglani, an award-winning psychologist, high-functioning anxiety coach and author.Together they unpack two dilemmas around anxiety, ADHD and the pressure to cope in blended family life. The first dilemma comes from a stepmum who lives with high functioning anxiety and depression. Every other weekend, before her stepchildren arrive, her body goes into panic mode. Racing heart, tight stomach, irritability and overwhelm. She finds herself avoiding the situation by leaving the house, but she wants to understand why this happens and how to manage it better. Nathalie challenges her perspective, while Dr Lalitaa explains what is happening and shares practical tools to regulate the nervous system, create boundaries around space, and slowly build tolerance rather than forcing herself to cope.The second dilemma is from a mum with ADHD who feels constant guilt. She loves her child deeply but struggles with burnout, overstimulation and frustration, especially when her stepchild is there too. She worries she is failing and overcompensates out of guilt. The panel open up about ADHD, shame and executive dysfunction. Nathalie shares her own experience with ADHD, Kate reflects on parental burnout, and Dr Lalitaa breaks down how overstimulation impacts regulation, attachment and self belief.The episode also includes simple breathing techniques to calm the nervous system and practical strategies for managing high functioning anxiety in real time.Check Out Dr Lalitaa Suglani's book High-Functioning Anxiety

In this episode of Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and Cilla for a conversation that starts close to home.Cilla drops a bomb about a personal family situation she’s been navigating, and the ladies rally around her, reminding her just how strong she’s been through everything. Blended families aren’t just about step parents and children, they include extended family too, and sometimes that’s where things get complicated.The first dilemma centres on a sister-in-law who ignores her brother’s child because she doesn’t like his wife. The mum is worried it’s now affecting the child and doesn’t know how to handle the tension without making things worse.The second dilemma is wedding drama. A bride feels her sister-in-law, who is also the event planner, is making the big day about herself and taking over decisions. She hasn’t said anything to her partner yet and is questioning whether she’s overreacting.Kate, Nathalie and Cilla dive into boundaries, communication and when you have to speak up even if it feels uncomfortable. And for once, the panel don’t all agree. Cilla and Nathalie challenge Kate’s view, leading to a honest and divided conversation.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions around coercive and post separation abuse. In this episode of Blended, Kate is joined by Nathalie and special guest co-host Legally Nik, family and child protection lawyer, who is back to help the panel unpack some of your most complex legal dilemmas.The episode begins by revisiting the conversation from a few weeks ago with @Jessrunsforsurvivors, diving deeper into narcissistic ex-partners and coercive control. Nik explains that coercive control is illegal but incredibly difficult to prove. She breaks down what it looks like in court, how the legal system approaches it, and shares practical advice on communication tools such as yellow rocking and creating safer boundaries.The second dilemma focuses on frustrations with the Child Maintenance Service. A listener feels it is unfair that when starting a new family, payments are only reduced by a small percentage. Nik explains why the system works as it does, why nobody is ever completely happy with it and why the law ultimately prioritises the child above all else.The final dilemma is from a mum who wants to take her child on holiday but is being told she needs the father’s permission because they have different surnames. Nik clarifies the legal position, explaining that surnames are irrelevant and consent is still required where parental responsibility is shared.As always, Kate and Nathalie ask the questions many blended families are thinking and Nik provides the legal clarity behind the emotions.For more support contact Legally Nik

In this episode of Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and Cilla, who shares an update on a family situation she previously opened up about and how she handled a recent interaction with that family member. They tackle a tricky dilemma, a woman who separated from her husband admits she never felt fully accepted by her stepchildren. She showed up, she tried, but she remembers distance and rejection. Now, years later, her ex stepson has invited her to his wedding, describing her as a big part of his life. She is shocked. She does not remember it that way. She is asking whether she is obligated to go, and whether she needs to honour his version of the past when her experience felt so different. Kate, Nathalie and Cilla unpack what it means when memories do not match, why children may remember your presence differently than you do, and whether closure has to look like attendance. They explore the right to protect your peace, the power of simply showing up, and how blended relationships can leave lasting impact even when they felt strained at the time. This episode is about perspective, boundaries and the complicated legacy of step parenting.  

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions around coercive and post separation abuse.In this episode of Blended, Kate Ferdinand and Cilla are joined by Jess, known online as @JessRunsForSurvivors. Jess creates content around co-parenting with someone with narcissistic traits and is a patron for the charity Mums in Need, which supports women facing post separation abuse and coercive control.Jess shares part of her own story and what life has been like navigating co parenting with someone displaying narcissistic behaviours. She explains the complexity around narcissism as a disorder, why it requires clinical diagnosis, and why obtaining that diagnosis is often difficult.The panel then tackles two difficult listener dilemmas.In the first, a stepmum is worried that her stepdaughter’s behaviour dramatically shifts after time spent at her dad’s house. The child returns hostile towards her stepsister and stepdad, repeating phrases that feel planted. The stepmum fears the dynamic is slowly destabilising her home and does not know how to protect her family without escalating the situation.In the second dilemma, a woman describes how her ex presents as charming and composed publicly, yet attempts to undermine her behind the scenes. He has contacted her workplace claiming concern about her mental health and continues to interfere in subtle but damaging ways. Kate and Cilla admit they find parts of these stories difficult to comprehend, questioning how anyone copes with this level of manipulation. Jess offers practical tools and strategies including grey rocking, tightening communication, regulating tone, and even using tools like AI to draft neutral responses in high conflict situations. For more support follow @jessrunsforsurvivors and check out Mums In Need