Back From The Borderline

How often should you and your partner be having sex? Is there a magic number that signifies a healthy relationship? It’s easy to obsess over these questions, and sometimes, this fixation can even harm stable, loving partnerships. These concerns are amplified not only by idealized media portrayals but also by the underlying fear that we might not be living up to some invisible standard of a successful relationship. In today's episode, I’m moving away from the perfect, passion-filled narratives that often dominate our screens and digital spaces. Instead, I'll delve into the true essence of intimacy—how it’s expressed, experienced, and nurtured in diverse relationships. I'll challenge the myths about how often couples 'should' be having sex and broaden the discussion to include a deeper, more nuanced understanding of desire, one that’s often glossed over by social media influencers and alarmist magazine articles warning that you’re not keeping things spicy enough in the bedroom. This conversation is about breaking down the pressures and expectations that cloud our perceptions of intimacy and can sabotage perfectly healthy relationships. I'm here to empower you to communicate openly with your partner and redefine intimacy in ways that resonate with both your needs and desires, free from societal myths that falsely equate constant physical intimacy with relationship quality. By exploring different types of desire, you'll learn how to foster a connection that’s based not on frequency but on mutual satisfaction and deeper emotional bonds.Let’s throw those random stats and the so-called 'rules' about relationships in the trash where they belong. Settle in and get ready to redefine intimacy on your own terms.TIME STAMPS:00:00 – 40:37.45: Part 1 (Exploring societal pressures, media influences, empirical studies, medicalization of desire, and generational differences affecting perceptions of intimacy and sexual health.)40:37.45 – 01:14:07.42: Part 2 (Delving into types of sexual desire, the reality of long-term intimacy, and the importance of aligning values and libido levels in relationships.)

Have you ever stopped to consider your own level of consciousness? Did you know that your way of thinking impacts every aspect of your life, your relationships, and how you navigate the world around you? This episode is your gateway to exploring the fascinating concept of levels of thinking and how it shapes our reality.Imagine if you could not only understand your own thought processes but actively change them. What if you could elevate your consciousness simply by understanding a basic yet profound framework? We'll dive into Ken Wilber's AQAL Integral Theory, a comprehensive model that will transform how you view human consciousness and provide a pathway towards higher development you may not have thought possible.Understanding this model will offer you a clearer grasp of the different levels of thinking and consciousness, enhancing the way you move through life. You'll learn how to use this knowledge to better understand and interact with individuals you might find confusing, maddening, or impossible to deal with.Stay tuned, because what you'll learn has the potential to completely transform your interactions and experiences. Let's dive in.REFERENCES:✧ Click here to view Ken Wilber's AQAL Integral Theory Map✧ Learn more about integral theory and the work of Ken Wilber at https://integrallife.com/

Have you ever stopped to consider your own level of consciousness? Did you know that your way of thinking impacts every aspect of your life, your relationships, and how you navigate the world around you? This episode is your gateway to exploring the fascinating concept of levels of thinking and how it shapes our reality. Imagine if you could not only understand your own thought processes but actively change them. What if you could elevate your consciousness simply by understanding a basic yet profound framework? We'll dive into Ken Wilber's AQAL Integral Theory, a comprehensive model that will transform how you view human consciousness and provide a pathway towards higher development you may not have thought possible. Understanding this model will offer you a clearer grasp of the different levels of thinking and consciousness, enhancing the way you move through life. You'll learn how to use this knowledge to better understand and interact with individuals you might find confusing, maddening, or impossible to deal with. Stay tuned, because what you'll learn has the potential to completely transform your interactions and experiences. Let's dive in.REFERENCES:✧ Click here to view Ken Wilber's AQAL Integral Theory Map✧ Learn more about integral theory and the work of Ken Wilber at https://integrallife.com/Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

In this episode of "Anatomy of Evil," I peel back the curtain on the infamous Salem Witch Trials, diving deep into the murky waters of human fear and legal injustice that define one of America's most haunting historical moments. Forget the dry recounting of events—you're in for a psychological deep dive that challenges everything you thought you knew about witch hunts. I start with a gritty look at Puritan New England, where strict religious codes met the harsh realities of colonial life. Picture a community perched on the edge of the unknown, wrestling with internal terror and the daily pressures of survival in a stark, unforgiving landscape. I explore how these conditions fermented a potent brew of suspicion and scapegoating, where women, especially those who dared to defy norms, were marked as society's malevolent outcasts. From there, we get personal with Bridget Bishop, the flamboyant tavern owner whose boldness made her a target, and Cotton Mather, the minister whose fear of devilry drove him to fanaticism. Their stories are chilling reflections of how societal pressures can twist faith and fear into a deadly weapon. The stakes rise in the second half of the episode, where I dissect the mechanics of the witch trials—how spectral evidence and touch tests weren't just quirks of pseudo-science, but death sentences waiting to happen. We'll walk through the chaos of the trials, feeling the palpable fear that gripped Salem, leading to a breakdown of community ties and a long shadow of mistrust. But the resonance of Salem doesn't stop in the past. I draw bold lines connecting the paranoia of the witch trials to modern-day frenzies like the Red Scare and today's cancel culture wars. How does a tweet from a decade ago become the spectral evidence of our time? We're diving deep into the psychology of social media mobs and the dangers of moral purity tests that leave no room for mercy or growth. By the end of this journey, you'll see the Salem Witch Trials not just as a chapter in a history book, but as a mirror reflecting our ongoing struggles with fear, control, and the othering of those who dare to be different. Are we repeating history by engaging in new witch hunts under the guise of justice? Join me in this latest edition of 'Anatomy of Evil' as we delve into the shadows of human nature, transcending labels to uncover the deep currents that push us to the brink.TIME STAMPS:✧ 00:00 – 47:56.08 – Part 1: Foundations of Fear (Exploring the origins and setting of the Salem Witch Trials, from historical context to key figures like Bridget Bishop and Cotton Mather.)✧ 47:56.08 – End – Part 2: Hysteria and Legacy (Diving into the mechanisms of mass hysteria, the trials' impact on the community, and their enduring lessons on social justice and human rights.)Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

In this episode of "Anatomy of Evil," I peel back the curtain on the infamous Salem Witch Trials, diving deep into the murky waters of human fear and legal injustice that define one of America's most haunting historical moments. Forget the dry recounting of events—you're in for a psychological deep dive that challenges everything you thought you knew about witch hunts.I start with a gritty look at Puritan New England, where strict religious codes met the harsh realities of colonial life. Picture a community perched on the edge of the unknown, wrestling with internal terror and the daily pressures of survival in a stark, unforgiving landscape. I explore how these conditions fermented a potent brew of suspicion and scapegoating, where women, especially those who dared to defy norms, were marked as society's malevolent outcasts.From there, we get personal with Bridget Bishop, the flamboyant tavern owner whose boldness made her a target, and Cotton Mather, the minister whose fear of devilry drove him to fanaticism. Their stories are chilling reflections of how societal pressures can twist faith and fear into a deadly weapon.The stakes rise in the second half of the episode, where I dissect the mechanics of the witch trials—how spectral evidence and touch tests weren't just quirks of pseudo-science, but death sentences waiting to happen. We'll walk through the chaos of the trials, feeling the palpable fear that gripped Salem, leading to a breakdown of community ties and a long shadow of mistrust.But the resonance of Salem doesn't stop in the past. I draw bold lines connecting the paranoia of the witch trials to modern-day frenzies like the Red Scare and today's cancel culture wars. How does a tweet from a decade ago become the spectral evidence of our time? We're diving deep into the psychology of social media mobs and the dangers of moral purity tests that leave no room for mercy or growth.By the end of this journey, you'll see the Salem Witch Trials not just as a chapter in a history book, but as a mirror reflecting our ongoing struggles with fear, control, and the othering of those who dare to be different. Are we repeating history by engaging in new witch hunts under the guise of justice? Join me in this latest edition of 'Anatomy of Evil' as we delve into the shadows of human nature, transcending labels to uncover the deep currents that push us to the brink.TIME STAMPS:✧ 00:00 – 47:56.08 – Part 1: Foundations of Fear - Exploring the origins and setting of the Salem Witch Trials, from historical context to key figures like Bridget Bishop and Cotton Mather.✧ 47:56.08 – End – Part 2: Hysteria and Legacy - Diving into the mechanisms of mass hysteria, the trials' impact on the community, and their enduring lessons on social justice and human rights.

On today’s episode, you’ll discover how the environment and culture an individual is immersed in can actively shape—and even create—illnesses and behaviors. We’ll explore the little-known “mouse utopia” experiment, which highlights how, even when a species lives relatively free from predators and has abundant resources, individuals in that environment can still exhibit bizarre, self-destructive behaviors due to overcrowding and severe social stress. This experiment on mice might tell us a lot about our current collective Western mental health crisis, especially when considering the concept of the behavioral sink. As we navigate modern society, we often face subtle, pervasive pressures that profoundly shape our mental health. Just as the mice in the experiment struggled with their environment despite having all their needs met, we, too, can find ourselves overwhelmed by social media, societal expectations, and the constant chase for perfection. These pressures can lead to modern culture-bound syndromes, where unique cultural and social factors create and exacerbate mental health issues.Understanding these patterns can help us recognize and resist harmful cultural trends that seem shiny and appealing but can lead to negative mental health outcomes. By shining a light on these hidden forces, we can empower ourselves to heal from trauma, improve our mental well-being, and live lives full of meaning. Tune in to learn how our culture might be unknowingly fostering behaviors and mental health issues—and, more importantly, how you can break free from these cycles yourself. Whether it’s understanding why people are having less sex or how social media algorithms trap us in negative spirals, we’ll uncover the hidden forces at play and learn how to better resist them by bringing conscious awareness to the dark, shadowy corners of our modern lives.Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

On today’s episode, you’ll discover how the environment and culture an individual is immersed in can actively shape—and even create—illnesses and behaviors. We’ll explore the little-known “mouse utopia” experiment, which highlights how, even when a species lives relatively free from predators and has abundant resources, individuals in that environment can still exhibit bizarre, self-destructive behaviors due to overcrowding and severe social stress. This experiment on mice might tell us a lot about our current collective Western mental health crisis, especially when considering the concept of the behavioral sink.As we navigate modern society, we often face subtle, pervasive pressures that profoundly shape our mental health. Just as the mice in the experiment struggled with their environment despite having all their needs met, we, too, can find ourselves overwhelmed by social media, societal expectations, and the constant chase for perfection. These pressures can lead to modern culture-bound syndromes, where unique cultural and social factors create and exacerbate mental health issues. Understanding these patterns can help us recognize and resist harmful cultural trends that seem shiny and appealing but can lead to negative mental health outcomes. By shining a light on these hidden forces, we can empower ourselves to heal from trauma, improve our mental well-being, and live lives full of meaning.Tune in to learn how our culture might be unknowingly fostering behaviors and mental health issues—and, more importantly, how you can break free from these cycles yourself. Whether it’s understanding why people are having less sex or how social media algorithms trap us in negative spirals, we’ll uncover the hidden forces at play and learn how to better resist them by bringing conscious awareness to the dark, shadowy corners of our modern lives.

Have you ever thought that a cosmetic procedure might transform your life, only to worry it could lead to crushing debt and lasting regret? In this hard-hitting episode, we dive deep into the world of cosmetic surgery regrets, exposing the hidden truths and societal pressures that drive people to alter their appearance. Join me as I unpack a revealing 2023 study on decision regret in plastic surgery. We'll uncover why so many people feel disillusioned after their procedures, exploring key factors like unmet expectations, the lack of thorough preoperative education, and the impact of postoperative complications. Discover how the promise of 'Kylie Jenner’s lips' or 'Kim Kardashian’s nose' often leads to unforeseen outcomes and the predatory practices of some medispas that prioritize profit over patient well-being. After hours of sifting through Reddit, I've gathered the most raw and authentic voices sharing their experiences with fillers, CoolSculpting, laser treatments, microblading, rhinoplasty, and breast augmentation. Hear firsthand accounts of botched results, financial burdens, and the emotional and psychological toll of cosmetic enhancements gone wrong. These real-world insights provide a stark look at the risks involved and the pervasive dissatisfaction felt by many. Finally, I'll share my personal journey with cosmetic procedures, reflecting on the psychological impacts and the realization that true happiness doesn’t come from external changes. We’ll also delve into the broader societal and psychological implications, examining how social media and advertising shape our beauty standards and contribute to mental health issues like body dysmorphia and anxiety.TIME STAMPS: 00:00 – 30:19.57: Part 1 (Introduction to decision regret in elective healthcare, overview of a 2023 study, key findings on preoperative education and shared decision-making, and discussion of societal pressures and predatory practices in the cosmetic industry.) 30:19.57 – end: Part 2 (Examination of real-world experiences from Reddit on cosmetic procedure regrets, detailed accounts of issues with fillers, CoolSculpting, laser treatments, microblading, rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, and personal reflections on the psychological impacts and societal implications.)Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your big emotions, or found yourself misunderstood for being 'too much,' 'overly dramatic,' or just different from others? Sometimes it can feel like our heightened sensitivity is more of a curse than a gift. This episode is for anyone who grew up feeling completely alien from the world around them, exploring the misunderstood realm of giftedness and overexcitabilities (also known as 'sensory OE') through a transformative new lens.Join me as we delve into Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration, a perspective that celebrates your intense emotional and intellectual experiences as signs of potential personal growth rather than flaws. We'll uncover the five types of overexcitabilities—Psychomotor, Sensual, Intellectual, Imaginational, and Emotional—and reveal how these can sculpt one's life and relationships. This journey is about understanding and embracing the full spectrum of your experiences, from the challenges of navigating childhood sensitivities to harnessing your unique traits as strengths in adulthood.Whether you’re seeking to heal past wounds or to better understand and nurture a gifted child, this episode offers insights into turning what once felt like overwhelming traits into your most valuable assets. Learn how to communicate your unique experiences to those closest to you and build connections that honor and reflect your true self. Join me to find empowerment in your intensity and transform your understanding of what it means to be gifted.Resources:✧ shame series part 1: healthy shame makes you human [back from the borderline shame series]✧ Living with Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults by Susan Daniels✧ Mellow Out, They Say. If I Only Could: Intensities and Sensitivities of the Young and Bright by Michael Piechowski