Back From The Borderline

Do you ever find yourself obsessively questioning your feelings in a relationship, or feel compelled to verify your doubts by checking your partner’s phone? Have you noticed a pattern of seeking constant reassurance from friends every time something feels off with your significant other? These behaviors might feel isolating, but they’re more common than you might think and stem from deeply understandable places.In this episode, we’ll explore the complex world of behaviors often labeled as Relationship OCD, or ROCD. However, we move away from viewing these as disorders or dysfunctions. Instead, we see these behaviors as adaptive responses—strategies we’ve developed to cope with past environments where we might have felt abandoned or insecure. It's about recognizing that while these patterns were once protective, they might not serve us well anymore.Join me as we delve into the root causes of these intense relationship anxieties. We'll explore how early experiences shape our ways of loving and demonstrate that by identifying these patterns, we can begin to dismantle them. This journey isn’t about diagnosing yourself; it’s about connecting with the stories we share and discovering pathways to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.I’ll guide you through the stages of the ROCD cycle, offering practical strategies to interrupt this cycle before it spirals. Delving deeper, we'll draw on insights from depth psychology to uncover the underlying reasons behind these behaviors and beliefs. Combined with practical tips, these profound insights pave the way for transformative moments that can lead to enduring change in your relationships—opportunities that standardized therapeutic approaches may overlook.By the end of this episode, you’ll not only understand the manifestations of ROCD but also gain tools to deepen your self-awareness. You'll learn to navigate your behaviors and emotional responses more effectively, fostering safe and secure relationships, and preventing the sabotage of potentially great connections. Tune in to empower yourself with knowledge and strategies that help you build lasting intimacy and trust.

Do you find yourself constantly questioning your feelings in a relationship, or feel the need to check your partner’s phone to ease your doubts? Maybe you seek reassurance from friends whenever something feels “off.” These patterns can be exhausting and isolating, but they’re more common than you might realize—and they often have deeply rooted origins.In this episode, we’re exploring behaviors commonly labeled as Relationship OCD, or ROCD. But instead of viewing these as disorders, we’ll reframe them as adaptive responses—patterns we developed in past environments where we may have felt insecure or abandoned. These behaviors, while once protective, may now stand in the way of genuine connection and trust.We’ll dive into the roots of these relationship anxieties, tracing how early experiences shape our attachment styles and influence how we love and connect. This episode isn’t about diagnosing yourself; it’s about recognizing shared patterns and finding new ways to relate. I’ll walk you through the ROCD cycle, offering insights from depth psychology to help you understand why these behaviors arise and, most importantly, how to interrupt them.Alongside these insights, you’ll gain practical tools to break free from cycles of doubt, build self-awareness, and create space for trust and intimacy. By tuning in, you’re taking a step toward more secure, fulfilling relationships and moving away from self-sabotage. This is a journey to understanding your emotions and behaviors on a deeper level, with the aim of building relationships rooted in clarity and confidence.Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Do you ever find yourself or people you know seeming to pull back because they’re terrified of being labeled ‘cringe’ or somehow “trying too hard”? Since when did not giving a f*ck about anything become cool? In this episode, we’re diving into the curious paradox of our generation’s embrace of detachment. Why is it that in an era defined by hyper-connectivity, many of us choose to navigate our social worlds with a calculated aloofness?Our digital landscapes are teeming with connections, yet there’s a tangible sense of isolation pervading the shadows. As we curate our online personas, what truths are we masking? Why does it feel like we’re retreating from genuine interactions, preferring the safety of screens to the unpredictability of face-to-face connections?Social media isn’t just a playground anymore; it’s become a confessional booth where we navigate the complex landscape of our collective psychological suffering. It offers a platform for expression, yet complicates our private struggles. How does this duality shape our perceptions of self and our approach to mental wellness?Underneath the veneer of indifference, there's a deeper narrative unfolding. Our generation grapples with the desire for authenticity while being bombarded with the notion that emotional vulnerability is passé. How does this influence our life choices, our relationships, and our psychological well-being?Join me as we cut through the noise to get real about the quiet battles and contradictions defining our times. We’re exploring the essence of connection in an age where caring deeply might just be the most revolutionary act possible. TIME STAMPS: 00:00 – 26:26.13: PART 1 (Exploring societal shifts towards emotional indifference, the complexities of modern romantic relationships, and the cultural drive for aloofness that impacts personal development and genuine connections.)26:26.13 – 51:29.91: PART 2 (Investigating social media’s role in mental health discourse, the conflicts between seeking meaningful experiences versus societal indifference, the repercussions of hedonism on personal and societal well-being, and the hidden coping struggles of young adults.)

Drama doesn’t just happen to us—we unknowingly play a part in it. Living in a cycle of constant conflict can feel like being stuck in quicksand—every move seems to pull you deeper. It’s exhausting, isolating, and can erode your relationships over time. In this episode, we break down Dr. Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle, a framework developed in the 1960s that reveals how we get trapped in recurring cycles of conflict. Whether as the Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor, these roles shape our interactions and fuel the chaos that can leave us feeling exhausted, ashamed, and isolated.We’ll dive deep into Karpman’s work, exploring how the rise of humanistic and group therapy in the 1960s gave birth to this powerful concept. You’ll learn how the Drama Triangle plays out in your relationships—whether with family, friends, or even in your own self-talk. More importantly, I’ll guide you through strategies to break free from these roles, offering actionable steps to help you unlock a more peaceful, drama-free life. Imagine what it would feel like to live without constant conflict—a life where you no longer feel trapped in toxic cycles. That freedom is within reach, and in this episode, we’ll explore how you can take the first steps toward it.TIME STAMPS:00:00 – 35:31.51: PART 1 (Introduction to the Drama Triangle; Development and psychological insights by Dr. Stephen Karpman; Overview of the 1960s' psychological landscape; Detailed roles analysis and their interactions within the triangle) 35:36.70 – 01:18:56.59: PART 2 (Exploration of the Drama Triangle in family dynamics through a detailed fictional scenario; Comparison between the Drama and Codependency Triangles and their implications; Strategies for escaping the Drama Triangle; Building healthier interpersonal dynamics and emphasizing personal responsibility) Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Do you ever feel like you're walking on eggshells during conversations, afraid that one wrong word could ignite a firestorm of judgment? Have you ever silenced your own voice out of fear of being labeled or called out in the throes of cancel culture? In this episode, we dive into what we're calling "Secular Puritanism." It’s a curious trend where today's drive for moral righteousness sometimes resembles the old, strict Puritan ways—think less about the religious overtones and more about being quick to judge and shut down conversations in the name of political correctness. We'll explore how this well-meaning quest for moral purity can actually prevent us from talking openly, leaving everyone feeling on edge, no matter what side of social justice issues they stand on.We’ll also examine why we often hold back what we truly want to say, how we might be unknowingly contributing to a modern kind of witch hunt, and the inner conflict that arises when our public views don’t align with our private lives. This episode tackles these tough questions and offers actionable advice to help you recognize these patterns in yourself and break free from the fear of judgment. By tuning in, you'll learn how to speak your mind more freely and handle complicated issues with confidence, fostering both personal and systemic change.Join me as we arm ourselves with strategies for navigating this complex issue, transforming fear-driven interactions into opportunities for profound personal insight and real community progress. This journey is more than just changing how you speak—it’s about revolutionizing how you think, connect, and uphold your values in a world full of contradictions.

Have we created a world where one wrong word can cast you out? In this episode, we explore how today’s culture of moral judgment can feel like a modern-day witch hunt—a relentless search for flaws and “wrong” opinions that leaves us guarded and afraid to speak openly. Without realizing it, we may be falling into the same patterns of suspicion and punishment that once fueled historical persecutions.We’ll examine how this mindset seeps into our relationships, turning conversations into careful negotiations rather than genuine exchanges. The pressure to conform can isolate us, breed self-doubt, and prevent real connection. But it doesn’t have to be this way.Through this discussion, you’ll discover ways to escape these cycles of judgment, letting go of the fear that keeps you silent. Imagine the freedom to speak without second-guessing, to connect without suspicion. It’s time to reclaim open dialogue and build spaces where honesty can thrive again.Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Have you ever felt trapped in a never-ending cycle of drama that seems to follow you like a shadow? Today, we're going to uncover why this happens and how you can break free. I'm diving deep into the Drama Triangle, a concept developed by Dr. Stephen Karpman in the 1960s, which brilliantly maps out the roles we slip into that fuel the conflicts in our lives—Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor. I'll guide you through the origins of the Drama Triangle, exploring Karpman’s pivotal contributions to psychology and the social dynamics that shape our interactions. You'll get an in-depth look at each role within the Triangle, understanding how they play out in your relationships and even within your family. But this episode goes beyond just theory. I'm here to offer you real strategies for escaping these destructive cycles. By recognizing which role you inhabit and how to step away from it, you can fundamentally transform the way you interact with others. We'll explore practical steps and real-life examples to help you move from understanding to action, empowering you to reshape your life's drama into healthier, more conscious interactions.RESOURCES:✧ Never Split the Difference by Chris VossTIME STAMPS: 00:00 – 35:31.51: PART 1 (Introduction to the Drama Triangle; Development and psychological insights by Dr. Stephen Karpman; Overview of the 1960s' psychological landscape; Detailed roles analysis and their interactions within the triangle) 35:36.70 – 01:18:56.59: PART 2 (Exploration of the Drama Triangle in family dynamics through a detailed fictional scenario; Comparison between the Drama and Codependency Triangles and their implications; Strategies for escaping the Drama Triangle; Building healthier interpersonal dynamics and emphasizing personal responsibility)

What is it about women in horror that both fascinates and frightens us? This Halloween, we dig into the roots of the "Monstrous Feminine," exploring why these unsettling portrayals linger in our minds. In this episode, we examine the link between fear and femininity, looking at how Freud and Lacan’s theories laid the groundwork for horror’s portrayal of women as both alluring and repellent.We’ll break down how The Witch, Midsommar, and Black Swan expose cultural pressures around female identity, while Jennifer’s Body challenges horror norms by centering female friendship and agency. And with Promising Young Woman, we confront society’s unease with women’s anger and desire for revenge. Drawing on Laura Mulvey’s concept of the male gaze, we’ll discuss how cinema often turns women into objects of both desire and fear, reflecting deeper societal anxieties. We also explore how historical stigmas around women’s mental health have pathologized natural emotions, often with damaging effects.Tune in to see how horror films both mirror and distort our ideas of gender, madness, and power. This episode invites you to rethink what horror tells us about the world’s fear—and fascination—with the “monstrous” feminine.✧ Click here to buy “The Monstrous-Feminine” by Barbara CreedTIME STAMPS:00:00 – 33:15.73: Part 1 (Unpacking Psychoanalytic Roots and Mythological Origins of the Monstrous Feminine)33:15.72 – 01:08:52.49: Part 2 (Exploring Barbara Creed’s Monstrous Feminine, Lacan’s “Other,” and the Male Gaze through Films)01:08:52.49 – end: Part 3 (Connecting the Monstrous Feminine to Female Madness, BPD, Hysteria, and Modern Implications)Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

Do you find yourself lying awake at night, terrified of death, paralyzed by the concept of forever, and gripped by the fear of losing the people you love? Many of us do everything in our power to distract ourselves from life’s big existential realities and questions. But what if this very denial contributes to our most painful mental health symptoms?In this episode, we’ll explore the wisdom of 'The Five Remembrances' from Buddhist philosophy, revealing the inescapable truths of human existence that we often avoid. We'll uncover how embracing these truths can lead us from existential terror to a grounded acceptance of life's impermanence. Together, we'll confront these fears and discover how facing life’s scariest truths can bring about the lasting inner peace and transformative change you’ve been longing for. If you're ready to move beyond superficial distractions and engage with the deeper questions of life but struggle to find anyone to talk to, this episode is for you. So, get comfy, settle in, and prepare to journey together toward understanding, acceptance, and a more meaningful existence through an exploration of life’s big questions.Click here to read my original Substack article “laying awake at night wondering wtf the point is: how accepting life's hardest realities can transform your mental health."Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.