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breaking free from chronic feelings of emptiness

Do you struggle with chronic feelings of emptiness or a debilitating fear of death and dying? You're not alone. Many individuals with symptoms of mental health disorders like BPD, EUPD, cPTSD, ADHD, ASD, and more experience these challenges. In this episode, we'll explore the causes of these feelings, discuss unique methods for coping, and offer resources for overcoming them. Join me as we discuss how childhood emotional and spiritual neglect can contribute to these issues, the role of reparenting techniques and inner child work, and how to reframe your perspective on death and fulfillment. Don't miss out on this eye-opening episode that will shift your perspective and help you see these concepts in a completely new light.


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Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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  • is avoiding discomfort by self-censorship halting your healing process? [preview]

    28:33
    In this free preview of a premium episode, we dive deep into the realm of self-censorship, exploring its nuanced definition as the act of muting one's own voice out of fear or deference to others' sensibilities, without external compulsion. Kicking off with insights from Africa Brooke—a London-based beacon in overcoming self-sabotage and self-censorship—we dissect the intricacies of muting oneself in a world increasingly intolerant of dissenting voices.Africa Brooke, renowned for her candid exploration of self-sabotage and self-censorship, lends her expertise, illustrating the perilous landscape of public discourse, where expressing divergent views can result in exile or digital vilification. The episode is enriched by Brooke's recent Instagram video, heralding her forthcoming book "The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in The Age of Intolerance." Here, she delves into self-censorship's societal toll, advocating for a culture of "disagreeing well" and championing the art of pushback against collective sabotage—familiarly known as cancel culture. Her conviction? That navigating the treacherous waters of self-censorship and cancel culture demands a return to courageous, unfiltered expression.Through a meticulous exploration, we examine how self-censorship not only erodes personal integrity but also perpetuates a cycle of mutual surveillance, stifling societal progress. Drawing from a spectrum of thinkers, from Ada Palmer's historical perspectives to Orwell's dystopian foresights, we unpack the broader implications of self-censorship on freedom, control, and the collective psyche. Join me as we venture beyond the surface, challenging ourselves to confront the internalized censorship that shadows our discourse.Recommended Resources:✧ Dive into Africa Brooke’s work at https://africabrooke.com/ or follow her on Instagram @africabrooke [you can pre-order her book here]✧ 1984 by George Orwell✧ Brave New World by Aldous HuxleyUNLOCK THE FULL VERSION OF THIS EPISODE: visit https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to join the community on Patreon. From here, you'll be able to access all full-length (and ad free!) episodes of BFTB. CONTACT ME CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK: To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, submit a voicemail, or contact me for collaborations, visit backfromtheborderline.com.
  • is avoiding discomfort by self-censorship halting your healing process? [premium exclusive]

    46:37
    In this exclusive premium episode, we dive deep into the realm of self-censorship, exploring its nuanced definition as the act of muting one's own voice out of fear or deference to others' sensibilities, without external compulsion. Kicking off with insights from Africa Brooke—a London-based beacon in overcoming self-sabotage and self-censorship—we dissect the intricacies of muting oneself in a world increasingly intolerant of dissenting voices.Africa Brooke, renowned for her candid exploration of self-sabotage and self-censorship, lends her expertise, illustrating the perilous landscape of public discourse, where expressing divergent views can result in exile or digital vilification. The episode is enriched by Brooke's recent Instagram video, heralding her forthcoming book "The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in The Age of Intolerance." Here, she delves into self-censorship's societal toll, advocating for a culture of "disagreeing well" and championing the art of pushback against collective sabotage—familiarly known as cancel culture. Her conviction? That navigating the treacherous waters of self-censorship and cancel culture demands a return to courageous, unfiltered expression.Through a meticulous exploration, we examine how self-censorship not only erodes personal integrity but also perpetuates a cycle of mutual surveillance, stifling societal progress. Drawing from a spectrum of thinkers, from Ada Palmer's historical perspectives to Orwell's dystopian foresights, we unpack the broader implications of self-censorship on freedom, control, and the collective psyche. Join me as we venture beyond the surface, challenging ourselves to confront the internalized censorship that shadows our discourse.Recommended Resources:✧ Dive into Africa Brooke’s work at https://africabrooke.com/ or follow her on Instagram @africabrooke [you can pre-order her book here]✧ 1984 by George Orwell✧ Brave New World by Aldous HuxleyPREMIUM SUBMARINE QUESTIONS // Have a question about your premium submarine access or account? First, try reading the Premium Submarine Welcome Guide or check out the pinned post on Patreon. You should find answers to most questions there. Still stuck? Email help@backfromtheborderline.com.
  • childhood emotional neglect part 3: divorced, grieving, addicted, and depressed parenting

    01:22:04
    This third installment of our series on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) continues to unravel the intricate web of parenting styles that inadvertently contribute to emotional neglect. Focused on the more nuanced and often overlooked aspects of parenting under the duress of personal challenges, this episode examines:The Divorced or Grieving Parent: Discusses how the intense sorrow from loss or separation can overshadow a parent's ability to attend to their child's emotional needs. It highlights the complex dynamic where children must navigate their own grief or confusion alongside the emotional unavailability of their grieving or divorced parent, leading to unintentional emotional neglect.The Addicted Parent: Explores the dual life of addicted parents who oscillate between affection and neglect. This segment delves into the unpredictable nature of addiction, where children are left in a state of constant uncertainty about their parent's emotional availability, thus experiencing a unique form of CEN shaped by the shadow of addiction.The Depressed Parent: Illuminates the impact of a parent's depression on the family dynamic, particularly on the emotional development of the child. It explains how depression's consuming nature can lead to a parent's emotional withdrawal, forcing children into roles beyond their years and fostering an environment where emotional needs are sidelined.Through detailed vignettes, this episode paints a vivid picture of the silent struggle children face when growing up with parents who, though possibly well-meaning, are caught in their own battles with grief, addiction, or depression. It aims to foster a deeper understanding of the nuanced ways CEN manifests in these settings and advocates for a compassionate approach to healing and support for families navigating these challenging circumstances.Listeners are invited to explore the depth psychological perspectives on these parenting styles, understanding how a parent's unresolved issues and personal struggles can profoundly affect their approach to parenting and, consequently, their child's emotional well-being.Recommended resources:✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD✧ Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete WalkerCONTACT ME + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.comDisclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
  • childhood emotional neglect part 3: divorced, grieving, addicted, and depressed parenting [ad-free for premium]

    01:22:04
    This third installment of our series on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) continues to unravel the intricate web of parenting styles that inadvertently contribute to emotional neglect. Focused on the more nuanced and often overlooked aspects of parenting under the duress of personal challenges, this episode examines:The Divorced or Grieving Parent: Discusses how the intense sorrow from loss or separation can overshadow a parent's ability to attend to their child's emotional needs. It highlights the complex dynamic where children must navigate their own grief or confusion alongside the emotional unavailability of their grieving or divorced parent, leading to unintentional emotional neglect.The Addicted Parent: Explores the dual life of addicted parents who oscillate between affection and neglect. This segment delves into the unpredictable nature of addiction, where children are left in a state of constant uncertainty about their parent's emotional availability, thus experiencing a unique form of CEN shaped by the shadow of addiction.The Depressed Parent: Illuminates the impact of a parent's depression on the family dynamic, particularly on the emotional development of the child. It explains how depression's consuming nature can lead to a parent's emotional withdrawal, forcing children into roles beyond their years and fostering an environment where emotional needs are sidelined.Through detailed vignettes, this episode paints a vivid picture of the silent struggle children face when growing up with parents who, though possibly well-meaning, are caught in their own battles with grief, addiction, or depression. It aims to foster a deeper understanding of the nuanced ways CEN manifests in these settings and advocates for a compassionate approach to healing and support for families navigating these challenging circumstances.Listeners are invited to explore the depth psychological perspectives on these parenting styles, understanding how a parent's unresolved issues and personal struggles can profoundly affect their approach to parenting and, consequently, their child's emotional well-being.Recommended resources:✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD✧ Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete WalkerPREMIUM SUBMARINE QUESTIONS // Have a question about your premium submarine access or account? First, try reading the Premium Submarine Welcome Guide or check out the pinned post on Patreon. You should find answers to most questions there. Still stuck? Email help@backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
  • when you feel like an alien in your own family: defying dysfunction through healing [preview]

    27:51
    Join me for a free preview of this Patreon-exclusive episode as we dive deep into the groundbreaking insights of renowned psychoanalyst and storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estés. Through an exploration of a passage from her book, “Women Who Run With the Wolves”, we’ll unravel the complex effects of childhood emotional neglect on individuals' sense of identity and belonging. Exploring Estés' concept of the ‘Mistaken Zygote Syndrome’, we reveal the profound impact of feeling misplaced or misunderstood within one's family. Drawing from Jungian psychology, we uncover the clash between societal expectations and the innate wildness that lives within all of us.Delving further, we expose the desire for consistency within dysfunctional family systems and its repercussions for those seeking healing and integration. Through an exploration of themes from the therapeutic model of Internal Family Systems (IFS), we shed light on the challenges individuals face as they strive for change amidst familial resistance. Through gritty analysis and real-life examples, we unveil the transformative potential of embracing one's authentic self and reclaiming inner wildness. From challenging societal norms to setting boundaries within family dynamics, we reveal actionable steps for healing and growth.Tune in for a raw, unfiltered exploration of breaking free from the shackles of dysfunction, cultivating self-compassion, and embarking on a journey of empowerment. This episode promises to provoke thought, inspire change, and empower listeners on their path to self-discovery and integration while healing the wounds of childhood emotional neglect.UNLOCK THE FULL VERSION OF THIS EPISODE: visit https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to join the community on Patreon. From here, you'll be able to access all full-length (and ad free!) episodes of BFTB. CONTACT ME CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK: To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, submit a voicemail, or contact me for collaborations, visit backfromtheborderline.com.
  • when you feel like an alien in your own family: defying dysfunction through healing [premium exclusive]

    41:22
    Join me as we dive deep into the groundbreaking insights of renowned psychoanalyst and storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estés'. Through an exploration of a passage from her book, “Women Who Run With the Wolves”, we’ll unravel the complex effects of childhood emotional neglect on individuals' sense of identity and belonging.Exploring Estés' concept of the ‘Mistaken Zygote Syndrome’, we reveal the profound impact of feeling misplaced or misunderstood within one's family. Drawing from Jungian psychology, we uncover the clash between societal expectations and the innate wildness that lives within all of us.Delving further, we expose the desire for consistency within dysfunctional family systems and its repercussions for those seeking healing and integration. Through an exploration of themes from the therapeutic model of Internal Family Systems (IFS), we shed light on the challenges individuals face as they strive for change amidst familial resistance.Through gritty analysis and real-life examples, we unveil the transformative potential of embracing one's authentic self and reclaiming inner wildness. From challenging societal norms to setting boundaries within family dynamics, we reveal actionable steps for healing and growth. Tune in for a raw, unfiltered exploration of breaking free from the shackles of dysfunction, cultivating self-compassion, and embarking on a journey of empowerment. This episode promises to provoke thought, inspire change, and empower listeners on their path to self-discovery and integration while healing the wounds of childhood emotional neglect.Resource: “Women Who Run with The Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés ( Ihighly recommend getting the Audible version)PREMIUM SUBMARINE QUESTIONS // Have a question about your premium submarine access or account? First, try reading the Premium Submarine Welcome Guide or check out the pinned post on Patreon. You should find answers to most questions there. Still stuck? Email help@backfromtheborderline.com.Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
  • childhood emotional neglect part 2: narcissistic, authoritarian, and permissive parenting

    01:41:51
    This marks the second installment of our multi-episode discussion on of the impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), where we delve into the elusive and powerful impact of what didn’t happen in childhood. Often overshadowed by more visible and overt forms of neglect or abuse, CEN is the absence of emotional support and validation during our formative years, and its effects can deeply influence our adult lives. Despite its invisible and covert nature, CEN leaves those it impacts with feelings of disconnection and unfulfillment, often questioning the meaning of life itself – without knowing why.This second part of our exploration into CEN delves into the various parenting styles that unwittingly contribute to this form of neglect. The episode discusses three predominant parenting archetypes:The Narcissistic Parent: With case studies illustrating how the excessive self-focus and need for admiration of these parents can lead to an environment where children's emotional needs and feelings are consistently overlooked or dismissed.The Authoritarian Parent: Explored through Dr. Diana Baumrind’s lens, this section outlines the strict, rigid expectations set by such parents and the resulting lack of emotional responsiveness, which can hinder a child's ability to develop healthy self-esteem and autonomy.The Permissive Parent: Counterbalancing the authoritarian, this style's leniency and lack of boundaries are examined, showing how such an approach may result in children lacking self-discipline and emotional regulation skills.The episode highlights the subtle ways that each parenting style can lead to CEN and provides insight into the delicate balance required to foster a nurturing environment that attends to children's emotional needs. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the depth psychological perspectives on these parenting styles and the complex interplay between a parent’s unresolved issues and their parenting approach.Recommended resources:✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD✧ Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete WalkerCONTACT ME + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.comDisclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
  • childhood emotional neglect part 2: narcissistic, authoritarian, and permissive parenting [ad-free for premium]

    01:41:51
    This marks the second installment of our multi-episode discussion on of the impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), where we delve into the elusive and powerful impact of what *didn’t* happen in childhood. Often overshadowed by more visible and overt forms of neglect or abuse, CEN is the *absence* of emotional support and validation during our formative years, and its effects can deeply influence our adult lives. Despite its invisible and covert nature, CEN leaves those it impacts with feelings of disconnection and unfulfillment, often questioning the meaning of life itself – without knowing why.This second part of our exploration into CEN delves into the various parenting styles that unwittingly contribute to this form of neglect. The episode discusses three predominant parenting archetypes:The Narcissistic Parent: With case studies illustrating how the excessive self-focus and need for admiration of these parents can lead to an environment where children's emotional needs and feelings are consistently overlooked or dismissed.The Authoritarian Parent: Explored through Dr. Diana Baumrind’s lens, this section outlines the strict, rigid expectations set by such parents and the resulting lack of emotional responsiveness, which can hinder a child's ability to develop healthy self-esteem and autonomy.The Permissive Parent: Counterbalancing the authoritarian, this style's leniency and lack of boundaries are examined, showing how such an approach may result in children lacking self-discipline and emotional regulation skills.The episode highlights the subtle ways that each parenting style can lead to CEN and provides insight into the delicate balance required to foster a nurturing environment that attends to children's emotional needs. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the depth psychological perspectives on these parenting styles and the complex interplay between a parent’s unresolved issues and their parenting approach.Recommended resources:✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD✧ Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete WalkerPREMIUM SUBMARINE QUESTIONS // Have a question about your premium submarine access or account? First, try reading the Premium Submarine Welcome Guide or check out the pinned post on Patreon. You should find answers to most questions there. Still stuck? Email help@backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.
  • beyond the mother wound: healing neglect and trauma with the black madonna [preview]

    48:13
    In this preview of an exclusive premium episode, we delve deep into the transformative power of the Black Madonna archetype, a journey that's particularly close to my heart and I believe, will resonate profoundly with yours. Amid the exploration of childhood emotional neglect (CEN) in our series, it's crucial to address not just the wounds inflicted but also the paths to healing. The Black Madonna, transcending religious confines, emerges as a universal symbol of unconditional maternal love, resilience, and the embracing of our existence's light and dark facets.For those of us grappling with the shadows cast by the mother wound or seeking to reconcile the feminine and masculine energies within, this episode offers a beacon of hope. It introduces depth psychology and the impactful work of Marion Woodman, who shares her intimate encounter with the Black Madonna—an experience that became a cornerstone of her healing journey.This episode isn't just informational; it's a deeply personal exploration of how the Black Madonna archetype can serve as a bridge in healing the deep wounds of childhood emotional neglect, especially those stemming from complex maternal relationships. Featuring a compelling interview between Marion Woodman and mystic Andrew Harvey, we dive into Woodman's life-altering experience with the Black Madonna during a significant illness in India. This story of silent, nurturing connection with a stranger beautifully illustrates the archetype's power to offer solace and understanding.My hope is that this episode acts as a healing balm for your soul, illuminating a path toward self-compassion and integration. By weaving my reflections with practical advice on engaging with the Black Madonna, I invite you to embark on a healing journey that acknowledges the pain, embraces the darkness, and celebrates the renewal within. The Black Madonna archetype challenges us to look beyond our scars, to find strength in our vulnerability, and to see the beauty in our brokenness. It's a spiritual exploration that's universally applicable, offering insights and solace to anyone on the path to recovery, regardless of background or belief system.As we journey through the childhood emotional neglect series and delve into the realms of parts work, re-parenting, and healing the inner child, the Black Madonna emerges as a pivotal figure in bridging the gap between knowledge and practical healing. Let this episode be a guide, a comfort, and an inspiration as we navigate the complexities of healing and transformation, together seeking wholeness within the embrace of the Divine Feminine.UNLOCK THE FULL VERSION OF THIS EPISODE: visit https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to join the community on Patreon. From here, you'll be able to access all full-length (and ad free!) episodes of BFTB. CONTACT ME CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK: To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, submit a voicemail, or contact me for collaborations, visit backfromtheborderline.com. Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.