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In episode 4 of the new Awaken The Possibilities Podcast, Host Terry Wildemann interviews Pat Duckworth Host on "Women and Menopause in the Workplace.'' Awaken the Possibilities Podcast features successful entrepreneurs and intuitive leaders who offer insights on how to attract success in business and life.

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ABOUT Pat Duckworth

Pat Duckworth is a Women's Health Strategist who specializes in advising businesses and organisations who are committed to supporting women colleagues at menopause in the workplace. She brings to this role over 30 years experience working in the Public Sector at Senior Management level and 10 years as a therapist and coach. She has written 4 books including the Award-winning 'Hot Women, Cool Solutions'.

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About Terry Wildemann:

Terry Wildemann is the owner of Intuitive Leadership® and a Business and Resilience Accelerator, Speaker and Certified Executive Coach.

Terry's specialty is working with tired, unhealthy, close-to-burned-out entrepreneurs and professionals and helps them leap off the stress hamster wheel. They evolve into unstoppable stress resilient intuitive leaders and practical business mystics. Terry’s timely message guides clients and students to integrate intuition, stress resilience, positive communications and leadership with grounded business systems to achieve success by positively serving and influencing others. Her leadership experience includes owning a manufacturing company, image consulting company, leadership and holistic education center.

Terry is a best selling author of The Enchanted Boardroom: Evolve Into An Unstoppable Intuitive Leader.  

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TRANSCRIPT

welcome everyone to awaken the possibilities I'm your host Terry will the men and today we have an exciting juicy show I have a really good friend who's here someone who I admire greatly and has spoken around the world specifically our causes related to women so I'd like to introduce my amazing gas packed Duckworth and read her wonderful little bio and if you were to read her bio which will tell you a lot about where we're going to be going today so worth is a woman's health women's women's health strategist who specializes in advising businesses and organizations who are committed to supporting women colleagues at menopause in the workplace she brings to this role over thirty years experience working in the public sector at senior management levels and ten years as a therapist and a coach she has written four books including the award winning hot women cool solutions I can already feel the the the the ice pack on my head and I've had a lot of fun in the blast especially the first time I met her in person we were on our way to a conference fort Lauderdale and she asked me to pick her up okay where is the conference fort Lauderdale where was I in coral gables Florida literally ten minutes from the Miami airport but for some reason and we still haven't figured it out yet when thinking she's going into the fort Lauderdale fort according most calling a calling is just tell me what she's wearing and I'm driving around the parking lot on where is she all of a sudden this light bulb went off I'm like when you're putting you in one male okay are you in the mine that's what it was the one by fort Lauderdale and how many are you at the Miami International Airport and you walked around and you saw a sign or something he said so back to Miami would likely wouldn't have a lot of traveling because sometimes I can take forty five minutes and I picked up this beautiful woman wearing exactly would you describe them right away we went to a great conference %HESITATION that was funny and that was how we met Amy no there is not one airport in that area folks there is an airport and fort Lauderdale very grateful to be picked up it was funny it was fun and we had such a great time we really did it was an auspicious start I will say that to what has become a wonderful relationship Sir Pat one of the things that I know about you is you care so much for people you are the scum national it caring soul really right up there with some folks that I've met who are incorrect you know you're a rock star that that's only say you are a flaming rockstar and when I I remember the first time I heard you talk about menopause in women in business on my what can you share with us why it's important for business owners corporate and leaders to understand what happens with women in menopause and how it affects them in the workplace N. or in business who %HESITATION that such a big question where do I begin I think it begins with the number of because business is a lot of the numbers and there are more women over fifty in the workplace than ever before I mean is the growing demographic in the workplace so just for white numbers it's important the thing always looking after these women and if we go back to well probably twenty years ago when there was a whole thing about actually looking after women in the workplace we have to think about maternity leave and looking after them during pregnancy because we don't wanna we lose women that we spent a lot of time training and you know getting getting experience and knowledge we don't want to lose them when they have their children so business is one stop to it instead of thinking that would be more liability if I'm going to have children like stuff we need to get back into the workplace of the children so the maternity leave things stealthy but that's a whole different politics lifecycle with women business stage that we get to when wearing now meet full teams ample do you start to grow hello you know something is beginning to change you start to get symptoms and not all women get symptoms but seventy five percent to about seventy five percent a good twenty five percent experience frequent and intense and since then okay number R. and that and if you'll not sleeping well feeling anxious losing confidence if you're starting to get hot flushes in many things you're not going to perform as well as you do so I'm going to I'm I'm going to pose a challenging question here I'm a man a single man because of its a married man and he's married to somebody in our age group here already knows it's going on a single man who doesn't get it or a single one or woman the young man I mean it doesn't have to be a man can be women who don't get it either and why is it important for them to really listen to this I heard what you said about the meeting in and get in the hot flashes in and I myself %HESITATION I went to menopause very very early because I had a phone I mean all those parts were taken out eight thirty all right so I I went through what we call surgical menopause yeah what you're looking women go through I'm sitting in meetings and and and I would just be sitting there and all of a sudden my kids call it into the deer in the headlights look he could always tell because my eyes would get real busy right well what was it they called it %HESITATION marmoset was hysterical now I can't remember another on the show %HESITATION it wasn't just a hot flash my mom's having any I'm back to make it right whoa thanks something %HESITATION what a power surge or our research that's what it was I don't know if I would always say to them and get out of my way because this power is going to explode %HESITATION that's what it was it was a power research thank you for that so why do these people who just don't get it why do they need to get it it worked some some many reasons firstly is the whole question of well being in the in the workplace yeah and it's recognizing that people at different stages of birdlife need different support so it might be if your young man you might have a bit of anxiety or you might going to loan money don't depression and you need help through it it's not gonna last forever and if you get supposed to be a really good support server business absolutely yeah and %HESITATION so it's recognizing that different stages of our lives if we want to have a diverse workplace if we were to have women and men of all ages contribution in putting in the knowledge of my wisdom we have to create the right atmosphere for and if we create a culture where people can be listened to that is open to listening to people die is of very good culture for businesses the way ideas come forward it's where innovation takes place because people feel comfortable with expressing themselves and if you're looking off to people looking up to their well being thank god we give a lot more about business this is going to thrive with it so say I'm a woman and that doesn't really look at a challenging question I'm a woman sitting in a meeting with five men okay and almost in the deer in the headlight switch comes on and I'm tripping yeah the guys don't know what to do yeah what would you what advice do you give them and the woman who's going through menopause so it really depends on the culture in the organization or you know it could happen if they're amazing somebody else's organization the woman it's about making sure you got a pencil supplier of coal will serve so you can have a drink a cold Wilson cool yourself down it's not not thinking that everybody's looking at you and judging you it's being ready to reply to people if they do make a comment but for most people they want you to be okay because they want to hear what you've got to say in that meeting so for the man it's just about no and balancing woman but they might pull her drink rules or policy or they might face or anything I can do for you it it's no embarrassing her it's not putting the spotlight on how it's just being there and being supportive if your own organization acknowledges a love this it's so much easier to find just excuse me for a moment I just need to have a drink or just makes out side for a moment the culture of the organization is fine and let's not forget that some men get hot flashes yes they do so yes they do because they can get hot flashes from all kinds of physical challenges yeah so they can get them to something called Andrew pools which is the male version of metal poles and it's just a reflection of what's going on with the whole mind cement Bowie's for Franco intellectual interests but say the men going into decline you know I made the whole month of reducing I'm sorry thank you can get a whole functions from an older might just be you know they might have some medical condition that gives rise to it so we're human we're not perfect we spent like Norwegian each other as human beings so what we can do to school teacher over so we can talk about best absolutely bring an answer and of course it only takes a few minutes for the hot flash to hit you know hitting the side of the head and you go through it and then you freeze some who really cool well I think at night when it's prevailed through mail to her home hi friends from all okay you know I I I often say you know I travel to Florida a lot as you know and I'll be walking through the streets when it gets you know when it's really hot men hot flashes then it's like you gotta be kidding me god really but then when you're up north and it's freezing cold well the house flashes for crying out so I mean one thing I would say if you're a woman who experiences hot flushes and you're going to amazing don't have a Cup of coffee before you go in there and don't know won't drink don't cookie you know the Kathleen the sugar thank you your system well that's awesome the smart health care you know and that's the word soft care yeah extreme self care is critical because when we take care of her certain we take care of ourselves first it's not just about us we are demonstrating especially as leaders as business owners as business women we are demonstrating to those around us the importance of caring for ourselves and that's what leaders do they absolutely sure themselves first because when they take care of themselves do there for everybody else I think a good example of a good role models the fees will taking care of yourself looks like so the people that they leading can learn from the example if you're not taking care of you so how can you expect other people to do something good when they're looking at you and thinking well she don't look down only because I'm I'm taking care of myself because she stopped at although that is challenging when you have a a manager or senior person who doesn't take care of themselves can you do what you just spoke about can be a challenge can you talk about that a little bit more Pat here looking to rent it from personal excel yes No example because I used to work in a big government department %HESITATION it was open plan hot desking has kicked her in the morning and right before you know it was it was great musical chose somebody thinks right now and I had a boss who was a very difficult person's work flow and %HESITATION the organization itself was supportive of self care there was a a gym down in the basement and so I used to bring my gym came in a couple of times a week we go to the gym also read full policy steps were my gym kit in my lunch break I would get the look I think I don't care about the look this is about me keeping myself well and my team knowing that I do this because I was a buffer between him and his style and the team will I want to do how I wanted them to stay so this complete the German the firm which really you know that you've got somebody above you is not suffering a good example that doesn't mean that that's what you have to Paulson's you'll train you can be the one who says no this is how we behave you know we take a lunch break you go to the gym you take care of me so a once a month from used to come in and do massage sessions your muscles session of mass destruction because that way they're gonna be they're going to be more responsive to many they're going to give me the support I need and if I'm not getting it from above I need to have a nice atmosphere around me so yeah I don't think just because somebody above you isn't that pleasant that tax what you need to call stands people below you know acts as a buffer and be that leader who can say no DC's helping behind what happens though when that manager uses your self care as a weapon against you and it can happen %HESITATION in the same person when I asked for feedback %HESITATION sets me what you will feed back I said well because I like to know how you feel I'm doing in the role the next sentences will be import once he said okay you'll also see good with people but from what what was your job description sorry yeah it did make it very uncomfortable because I knew I was doing a good job and I was turning the results that were required I just have to be able to absorb negativity coming from above me so the people who worked for me could do the job that they need to start so I'm not saying it's comfortable I couldn't not being me because that would have been a pretty horrible place for me to say and it would be horrible for everybody been anything wow intense so you know from personal experience what it's like absolutely I know what it's like to be in that place where you're really not getting the example that you need to say hello isn't one of the things that I find in the workplace where bridge Rainer's D. behavior that you just spoke about %HESITATION I find that when managers or leaders are very task focused people they're so focused on the task task task task task do do do do do you forget that it's people who are actually creating those tasks and if the manager kickers for people those tasks are going to be done do you play however if the manager doesn't give a damn about the people only about productivity and perfection which doesn't exist in you and I both know that do you find that the quality of work in those situations %HESITATION is as good as the quality of work with a manager cares for their people it just comping because if somebody's not being cared for they care less about their work the consortium works it is sub standard because it's good enough I'll do the job is good enough but if you're working for somebody you respect and %HESITATION who you admire do you want to show them the best of you you have to get the best out of people as a leader you have to show them your best so I can give you that passed its wall art foundries you know the people that I've worked with I'm not sure I deserve to be more open if you were in that critical environment of some you just toss toss toss you have really good ideas about how how it could be done back so or you know just little improvements in the office of be ready because but you might not be willing to share a room firstly because you're not sure how they're going to be received because you think it's possible deserving of my good ideas thank you serve to hear well I've got to say when the person applying all where is if I respect somebody in the mind of somebody and I feel comfortable with them then I'm more likely to make myself vulnerable but putting my ideas out there I think you start phone repair is he in the workplace so well you know you got this idea but I don't wanna be laughed at I don't want some discover that St Pete Owen you know that's not how we do things here you want people to feel well if I've had a good idea if this is something I've seen that could be improvements that's something I've seen in the system what's going wrong I don't know what my books look stupid but if the boss is open you can say what you know the system doesn't work the way you think it does and then it's okay so it's creating that atmosphere it can be done for us that could be open with people could make themselves a bit vulnerable in order to share all the wisdom that I have and I can remember ability can truly only happen when there is a culture of what I call real leadership which is trust honor respect integrity loyalty and love a fellow man yeah absolutely and hi I would like to in fact a little bit and %HESITATION ask one is the leader it is a menopausal woman we're talking about men you know but what happens when the leader is a menopausal woman and there's a true fear I'm resistance in it limits the resistance of being vulnerable and honoring where she is at at the moment can you address that so this is a situation who's quite a bit in which that woman with all her wisdom and knowledge goes from my organization because she doesn't feel supported she doesn't feel able to talk around here she called sure about vulnerability and a really high percentage of women in that situation consider leaving their job only federal so they might feel that it's time to leave a call pro %HESITATION position and go work for themselves or to do something real flexible strain because I just don't feel well enough to do the job that they were doing also I think I'm going a little bit off topic here but some of those women they get to that point when they reach a tipping point and think well I always wanted to do where are mine now you might face and the people around me all respectful you don't really want to do something else I'm so lost women make that decision to jump ship and go and do something completely different and it might be you know a new career the site might be setting up themselves become the mantra it might be something community based off charity based because like that she will to fulfill a purpose and I haven't been able to fulfill through that job someone is shifted and that was very much in mind that that comment was perfect western society looks at men upon looks looks at older women who are going through menopause they tend to look down on your eyes are indigenous cultures look at women who've gone through menopause a revere them and they call them wise women on thus the the crown ceremonies into the word chrome comes from the word crown and you really think about it our those women who have gone through menopause when they go through a cloning what I'm quote ceremony %HESITATION they're being crowned for their wisdom what do you think it's going to take for us as wise women when we reach that point to be able to own it and understand that these career shifts you're talking about the possibility of a career shift going into business for yourself going into a different career and some people so I'm just going to retire I don't like to use the word retire I like %HESITATION we inspire own you know you're using you're doing something that really inspires you where you take all of that wisdom with you to elevate your sell your customers your family and the people around you so I I'm curious Pat about your perspective on the different cultures and addressing the wise women %HESITATION that walk among us yeah I think this is something that's been neglected to think about mana pools as of just a very short period of time you know you go through menopause yeah its stock %HESITATION but actually I I heard the phrase I heard the words liminal space %HESITATION a couple years ago and I thought man the polls this liminal space it's the time between two parts of your life the five minute Wanda this is a period of time where you can start to acknowledge but time has pulse you've reached a new stage of your life when you were a teenager you were going through a massive change but you know whatever your teenager but now you've probably heard forty five fifty years of your life and you know if you're lucky you might get another forty five fifty but you know that's part of the broad side of it and now you've got the strongest as your boarding stranger initial hormones are changing ask your actual again to see if you'll self so you've gone from being this fertility goddess into the wise woman and there is some loss of so if you if you do not spice the most support role but there's a lot to be gained from the other side of it so accepting that this is a time of change but it's not just five minutes it might be five or ten years that you're going through this time I'm reassessing who you all what you'll identities on the other side of things that's a really crucial point if I was you know if I had children and they don't need me as much anymore welcome back sorry about that yours truly had this little coughing spell come over me because that set a few things in mind body reacted and missed by the way if any if anything like this ever happens to you please note that the body knows before the grain diets the body knows before the brain to us and we but after I couldn't keep going because I had it first of all cleared out I could keep talking and she was never has some powerful words are powerful questions that allowed me to figure out why I was responding so intensely to the questions that she was asking and it's really important because we as women who are going through menopause this is a powerful time for us to make certain decisions that are going to affect a lot of people in their lives so Pat yes %HESITATION did an amazing job talking me through that because that's it I don't know where and you had mentioned something about you were feeling the chef can you talk more about that yes I was talking about it I could feel the power of what I was saying about the stage of life being so transformational but it's not just any of the period of your life this liminal space with something is changing and thought I could feel the power of this I was talking about and then you start to its response rate started to cough and something needed to come out there will be words that needed to come out and that's what we were able to explore so it really started with me talking about this change of identity the identity that you had before you went into the polls all being infertility go there from you know having all of our younger stuff going on and being a carrot your children and then the other side of it who are you what is your identity that side what does it mean to be the blinds woman and there is so many negative words associated with it but it's finding the power in it because we're we're one of only two species have Amanda pulls this off and two species of wireless let free I'm sorry what else yeah we're yeah because it's a survival premium around having females who all reproductive who all the grandmothers and grandmothers have the experience the wisdom of their lives to be able to support the next generation coming through and if you look at the whitewater whose lives but lives they live in those faults with grandmother wireless being with the mothers of the baby whales so it felt that you know who the real premium around having once we meaning you'll climb who can then help the younger ones and actually help everybody to thrive is one of the following it is so cool but the Wales that is really really cool the thing is though Pat do you not think that it has to do with our culture and as we look at aging women I mean so many companies and an aging men also so many companies I have just tossed people side because of the fear of them getting sick or this and that you know it breaks my heart to see that because these people have such wisdom to offer what are your thoughts on that so I think we have a responsibility ourselves as we've talked about to do the self care to keep ourselves well people can get ill at any stage in their lives it's not check your fault but we need to take our own personal responsibility for keeping ourselves well for keeping also in that space gross growth of the Shia you know as you get older if you go into fear and contraction you'll not going to be attractive to employers if you studying gross so you're always looking to develop and develop your ideas and I'm gonna keep sharing your wisdom and your knowledge your really valuable resource and if an employer ignores that well you know but it's kind of a problem because you can type or outside of that business and develop your your own business so I think it's partly the responsibility of the organizations to recognize to look at the research room Barbosa team want phone poll and there's a responsibility on themselves to keep hospitals moral to keep also seeing growth and development so that we all such a valuable resource to ourselves and our proves that we don't get a vote well this is been a phenomenal interview I always a door interviewing you you think that this is my third podcast you've been a guest on on all three of them and you are just a delight and a wealth of information I just want to thank you so much for being here and sharing your wisdom with you awaken the possibilities audience can you tell us did did you bring a free gift for the inconvenience well %HESITATION if you go to so my first book about menopausal school hall women cool solutions and there's a whole women cool solutions dot com website and there's a whole bunch of free gifts where there is a sign up on the right hand side of the screen those are things to do with becoming an entrepreneur there's lots of recordings to help you deal with the hot flushes and the white guy and you know as a hypnotherapist is one of my double cheese I used less and less lofty visualisations it just kind of grab brilliant thank you so much you're so caring and loving and and so why is I didn't pricing wise movement and what would you say what is the last thing you like to leave with your audience that you wish to say to your younger self %HESITATION firstly I would thank her so much because she's full for me to be able to do what I'm doing now so I would just like to say a really big thank you to her for the work that she did for the for the education of the development that she did the celeb me to be the woman I am to die so my make it think its message by terrorists thank you so much thank you Pat I went to the wrecking the possibilities audience thank you so much for being here it is my drawing my pleasure to be able to bring you amazing people like Pat Duckworth to be able to share their knowledge and their wisdom to help you awaken the possibilities in your life and your business I'm your host Terry will demand and I look forward to seeing you next time to your success