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AstroloTea with Aliza Kelly: Horoscopes and Astrology
The SCARIEST Birth Chart?! SEX, DEATH & POWER — What YOUR 8th House REVEALS! (Yes, YOU HAVE IT!)
Horror? Kink? Destruction!? Welcome to the 8TH HOUSE, divas — the most mysterious, scandalous, and downright HAUNTED part of your entire birth chart! This is where we encounter our deepest desires, our most complicated attachments, and the extraordinary experiences that transform us FOREVER. And if you have PLANETS in the 8th HOUSE? Honey, pull up a chair. At today’s Tea Party, Aliza is talking about forbidden passions, ancestral secrets, shared fortunes, psychological obsessions, and the ultimate mystery of existence itself: DEATH! Chilling! So do come in, make yourself comfortable — nevermind the ghosts. The door has already slammed behind you, anyway.
🎟️ SF SHOW: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️
🎟️ ALL SHOWS: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️
NOTE: TIMESTAMPS ARE APPROXIMATE
(0:00:00) Welcome to the Tea Party
(00:06:37) What are the 12 Houses in Astrology?
(00:11:20) The 8th House: Death, Sex, and Transformation
(00:26:28) Everyone Has an 8th House (What It Means)
(00:29:42) Sun in the 8th House
(00:33:03) Moon in the 8th House
(00:37:56) Mercury in the 8th House
(00:40:27) Venus in the 8th House
(00:44:15) Mars in the 8th House
(00:47:45) Jupiter in the 8th House
(00:50:52) Saturn in the 8th House
(00:53:22) Uranus in the 8th House
(00:55:35) Neptune in the 8th House
(00:57:34) Pluto in the 8th House
So what’s the deal with 8th House? Why does this part of the birth chart have such a spooky reputation? And what happens when YOUR planets occupy this mysterious territory? Aliza breaks down what each placement reveals about your psychological depths, hidden motivations, and extraordinary capacity for reinvention. Plus, she explores the difference between natal placements and planetary transits, and explains why EVERYONE should tap into their 8th House energy. Prepare to descend into the astrological underworld and discover the powerful magic waiting beneath the surface. It's a seriously spooky Tea Party, and we obviously saved you a seat.
🎟️ SF SHOW: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️
🎟️ ALL SHOWS: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️
Episode 58. This episode was recorded on October 12, 2026.
You're invited to spill the AstroloTea with Aliza Kelly. Every Monday and Wednesday, join celebrity astrologer Aliza Kelly for accurate weekly horoscopes, astrology insights, and deep steeps into birth charts, pop culture, and all the brew that’s fit to sip.
IG: @alizakelly
TikTok: @alizakelly
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@alizakelly
Show IG: @astrolotea.pod
Constellation Club: https://constellation-club.com/
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57. Week of Oct 19: CREEPY CHAOS!? Mercury Retrograde + Scorpio Season + Venus REBORN! (Don't Be SCARED; Get PREPARED!)
01:12:16||Season 1, Ep. 57PICK YOUR POISON, DIVAS! Spooky season is getting SERIOUSLY supernatural! First, Scorpio Season officially begins! Then, Venus Retrograde reaches her powerful midpoint at ZERO degrees Scorpio, marking an extraordinary rebirth. And THEN, because apparently we need more chaos, Mercury ALSO goes retrograde! Our final Mercury Retrograde of 2026! And, yes, honey, that means Mercury AND Venus will be retrograde at the same time. The cauldron is BUBBLING! But remember, even the most dangerous ingredients can become powerful medicine in the hands of the right witch. So grab your broomstick, prepare your elixirs, and let's get ALCHEMICAL!🎟️ SF SHOW: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️NOTE: TIMESTAMPS ARE APPROXIMATE(0:00:00) Weekly Brew(0:10:32) Tarot Card of the Week(0:30:46) Journal Prompt(0:32:45) Aries Horoscope(0:35:27) Taurus Horoscope(0:39:11) Gemini Horoscope(0:42:52) Cancer Horoscope(0:46:18) Leo Horoscope(0:49:49) Virgo Horoscope(0:53:52) Libra Horoscope(0:56:47) Scorpio Horoscope(1:00:30) Sagittarius Horoscope(1:03:01) Capricorn Horoscope(1:05:39) Aquarius Horoscope(1:08:58) Pisces HoroscopeThis week, Aliza explores the extraordinary astrology of Scorpio Season, including the profound symbolism of Venus Retrograde's conjunction with the Sun at 0º Scorpio — a powerful moment of metamorphosis as Venus transforms from Evening Star to Morning Star. And what do we NEED to know about this final Mercury Retrograde of 2026? And what does it mean that BOTH Mercury and Venus will station direct on November 13?! From revisiting old relationships to uncovering hidden truths, we're exploring how to transform the lessons of the past into something meaningful for the future. Plus: a tarot pull (that turns out to be VERY TANC), a journal prompt, and horoscopes for all 12 zodiac signs. Bottoms up, witches! Tea is served!🎟️ SF SHOW: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️Episode 57. This episode was recorded on October 12, 2026.
56. Top 5 Signs for SHADOW WORK — YOUR Birth Chart REVEALS Secret Truths, Deep Desires, and Repressed POWER (What Are You HIDING?!)
45:08||Season 1, Ep. 56Are you being HAUNTED… by YOURSELF? Chilling! This week — we're diving into your birth chart and heading straight into the psychological underworld to meet your SHADOW SELF: the mysterious, repressed, and secret parts that you've tried to bury, deny, or shame into extinction. But guess what, diva? The shadow is immortal; the shadow will never die! Mwahaha! Behold! It’s time for some seriously spooky SHADOW WORK… and the 5 ways you can start working with this powerful tool for integration (and individuation) right now. Tea!🎟️ SF SHOW: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️NOTE: TIMESTAMPS ARE APPROXIMATE(0:00:00) Welcome to the Tea Party(00:14:26) What Is Shadow Work?(00:17:53) Meet Your Shadow Self(00:23:00) Pluto: Death, Rebirth & Transformation(00:27:41) Black Moon Lilith: Reclaiming Your Power(00:31:06) South Node: The Shadows of Your Past(00:35:05) The 4th, 8th & 12th Houses: Secrets of the Psyche(00:41:17) The Balsamic Moon: Embracing the Darkness(00:43:34) Final Thoughts: Becoming WholeIn this very special Halloween-coded Tea Party, Aliza explores the fascinating intersection of astrology, mythology, and depth psychology through the groundbreaking work of Carl Jung. What exactly is your shadow self? Why do we repress certain parts of our identity? And how can astrology help us reclaim the power we've unknowingly surrendered to shame, fear, and unconscious patterns? Aliza reveals 5 powerful places to explore your shadow through your birth chart. So pull up a seat, take a sip, and prepare to meet… well, yourself!🎟️ SF SHOW: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️Episode 56. This episode was recorded on October 2, 2026.
55. Week of Oct 12: It's Been 5 MONTHS of WEIRDNESS... But — Thanks to PLUTO — Your POWER Is Coming BACK! (MAJOR SHIFT!)
56:42||Season 1, Ep. 55Are you ready to TAKE BACK YOUR POWER?! Well, honey, have I got a deal for you! This week, the cosmos is serving a MAJOR power play, and for the first time in months, some seriously intense energy is finally moving FORWARD. Pluto — the planet of power, control, and transformation — is going direct after being retrograde since May, and suddenly the things that once seemed impossible are looking a whole lot more achievable. New opportunities! Major breakthroughs! Big boss energy! And the best part? Reclaiming your power can actually be FUN. Yes, divas, FUN!🎟️ OCTOBER TOUR: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️(0:00:00) Weekly Brew(0:09:04) Tarot Card of the Week(0:22:27) Journal Prompt(0:23:54) Aries Horoscope(0:27:01) Taurus Horoscope(0:30:10) Gemini Horoscope(0:33:03) Cancer Horoscope(0:35:21) Leo Horoscope(0:38:01) Virgo Horoscope(0:40:40) Libra Horoscope(0:42:59) Scorpio Horoscope(0:45:41) Sagittarius Horoscope(0:48:36) Capricorn Horoscope(0:51:12) Aquarius Horoscope(0:53:32) Pisces HoroscopeThis week, Aliza breaks down three powerful astrological events that could change EVERYTHING: the Sun's fabulous connection with Jupiter (aka Casino Daddy!) opening doors to exciting new possibilities, Pluto stationing direct in Aquarius and transforming our relationship with power, and a productive Mars-Saturn trine helping us turn our biggest dreams into REALITY. What have you been trying to control since May? What opportunities are finally coming your way? And what would happen if you stopped waiting for permission and started making some serious POWER MOVES?! Plus, Aliza pulls the Nine of Wands and serves personalized horoscopes for all 12 zodiac signs, revealing exactly where you can reclaim your authority, seize new opportunities, and LOCK THE FUCK IN. Time is money, friends, and this week we're in the business of taking back what's ours. Pinkies up! Tea is served!🎟️ OCTOBER TOUR: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️Episode 55. This episode was recorded on October 2, 2026.
54. 5 Signs You're a Witch — The Top WITCHIEST Placements in Your Birth Chart (Do You Have Any?!)
48:36||Season 1, Ep. 54⭐ MPLS: TONIGHT! https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour ⭐Are you a witch?! Maybe you already know the answer. Well, divas, grab your broomstick and birth chart, because Aliza is revealing 5 of the witchiest placements in astrology — and you may be a whole lot more enchanted than you realized.Tea is served …and this one CACKLES!⭐ MPLS — TONIGHT! https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour ⭐🎟️ ALL SHOWS https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️What makes a birth chart WITCHY? Aliza explores how the concept of a “witch” — and its negative connotations — speaks to the patriarchy’s one-dimensional perception of women, people of color, and queer folks. Around here, taking back the term is a statement of empowerment! Agency! Autonomy! Then, Aliza goes into the 5 witchiest placements she sees in a birth chart (along with a few bonus ones)... do you have any of them? Whether your magic shows up through intuition, creativity, sensitivity, or simply your refusal to be domesticated, this episode is an invitation to find the witch in YOUR birth chart. Beware; the cauldron is piping hot!⭐ MPLS — TONIGHT! https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour ⭐🎟️ ALL SHOWS https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️(0:00:00) Welcome to the Tea Party(00:04:19) What is a Witch?(00:13:19) Sign #1: Scorpio Sun, Moon, or Rising(00:20:56) Sign #2: Strong 8th House Energy(00:26:14) Sign #3: Strong 12th House Energy(00:32:34) Sign #4: Pluto on an Angle(00:37:47) Sign #5: Strong Neptune Enery(00:44:02) Bonus 1: Black Moon Lilith(00:45:02) Bonus 2: Mercury in Pisces(00:45:48) Bonus 3: Sagittarius PlacementsEpisode 54. This episode was recorded on September 25, 2026.
53. Week of Oct 5: POTENT New Moon in Libra — RELATIONSHIPS Are About to CHANGE! (But First, CHAOS?!)
54:46||Season 1, Ep. 53🎟️ 10.6 TUES — CHI! https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️🎟️ 10.7 WED — MPLS! https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️We’re barreling into spooky season, and this week’s horoscope explores the upcoming gorgeous New Moon in Libra. It’s opening the door to NEW relationships! NEW opportunities! NEW beginnings! But… yet… there’s something lurking in the shadows. Venus is still retrograde in Scorpio, Mars is doing the absolute most (read: chaotic), and everything seems a bit more… complicated? Good! Because this week’s theme is DELICIOUS DUALITY, and that’s exactly how this brew will be SERVED.🎟️ 10.6 TUES — CHI! https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️🎟️ 10.7 WED — MPLS! https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️The New Moon in Libra is an incredible manifestation moment for relationships, partnerships, beauty, balance, and connection. But with Venus paving the way, A liza explains why getting what you want requires embracing the parts of yourself you usually keep hidden. Jealousy! Resentment! Contradictions! Witchery! We contain multitudes, baby! Plus, Mars gets WEIRD, the tarot pull is annoying (albeit important), and Aliza delivers personalized horoscopes for all 12 zodiac signs to reveal exactly what you’re manifesting under this powerful New Moon. Tea is served — only this time, it’s HAUNTED.🎟️ 10.6 TUES — CHI! https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️🎟️ 10.7 WED — MPLS! https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS: https://tinyurl.com/tea-tour 🎟️(00:00:00) Weekly Brew(00:05:53) Tarot Card of the Week(00:21:12) Journal Prompt(00:22:09) Aries Horoscope(00:24:28) Taurus Horoscope(00:27:45) Gemini Horoscope(00:30:09) Cancer Horoscope(00:32:27) Leo Horoscope(00:34:51) Virgo Horoscope(00:37:52) Libra Horoscope(00:40:20) Scorpio Horoscope(00:43:19) Sagittarius Horoscope(00:45:55) Capricorn Horoscope(00:48:31) Aquarius Horoscope(00:50:31) Pisces HoroscopeEpisode 53. This episode was recorded on September 25, 2026.
52. WHY Are You LIKE THAT? Keeping It PETTY, Seeking REVENGE & This Sign Gets HOTTER With Age (feat. Jake Cornell)
28:20||Season 1, Ep. 52You’re invited to join our CelebriTEA PARTY with Jake Cornell — comedian, viral sensation, and legendary tea time companion! As a Scorpio Sun, Aquarius Moon, and Capricorn Rising, Jake is serving a complex brew of revenge fantasies, mommy AND daddy issues, and the value of community. So on today’s episode, Jake and Aliza get into ambition, relationships, vengeance, and why Aliza qualifies to be Jake’s next boyfriend. Tea?🎟️ CHI 10.6 https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ MPLS 10.7 https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️Aliza and Jake unpack his Capricorn Rising late-bloomer journey, his Scorpio desire for REVENGE, and why his Aquarius Moon needs to process absolutely everything amongst friends. Then, the astrology gets a little hotter: a conversation about Jake’s parents’ divorce reveals an eerily precise nodal cycle, and Aliza uncovers the number 22 — a “master number” — repeating all over his birth chart. It’s giving numerology! Plus, Jake spills on his major relationship year, how his Saturn Return completely transformed his career, and which zodiac signs he’d trust with his life. It’s silly! It’s witchy! It’s quite hot! So grab a cup and get to steeping; tea is served!🎟️ CHI 10.6 https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ MPLS 10.7 https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️(0:00:00) Welcome Jake Cornell to the Tea Party(00:01:43) Tarot Pull: Work, work, work!(00:04:22) Capricorn Rising & Getting Hotter with Age(00:07:53) Scorpio Sun: On the Topic of Revenge(00:09:43) What Do People Get Wrong About Scorpios?(00:12:06) Aquarius Moon & The Need for Community(00:14:09) Mommy Issues vs. Daddy Issues — Try BOTH!(00:18:41) Jupiter in the 7th House: Relationship Upgrades(00:20:04) What’s Your Lucky Number?(00:22:57) Gemini vs. Leo?(00:23:24) Taurus vs. Pisces?(00:24:18) Deep Ocean vs. Outer Space?(00:25:09) Libra vs. Aquarius?(00:26:03) Virgo vs. Aries?(00:27:38) Jake Spills the TeaEpisode 52. This episode was recorded on September 21, 2026.
51. Week of Sept 28: VENUS RETROGRADE is HERE! — It's Been 8 YEARS! (What Happened in 2018?! Things Get MESSY!)
01:04:03||Season 1, Ep. 51Venus Retrograde has ARRIVED… and your horoscope is SERVED. For 40 days and 40 nights, Venus — the planet of love, beauty, money, pleasure, values, and desire — is embarking on one of the strangest and most magical retrograde journeys in astrology. Your taste might change. Your relationships might change. Your desires might get… weird. And should an ex-lover suddenly appear at your door? DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR. Plus, we're going back to the last time Venus cruised across this stretch of the sky: October 2018. And that is scalding hot.🎟️ CHICAGO https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ MINNEAPOLIS https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️But Venus Retrograde is so much bigger than exes coming back. Aliza dives into the absolutely wild astronomy, mythology, numerology, and esoTEAricism behind Venus’ 40-day journey from Evening Star to Morning Star — including its ancient connection to Lucifer, the mysterious recurrence of “40 days and 40 nights,” and the FIVE-POINTED PENTAGRAM Venus literally draws across the sky. Okay, witchy era! Plus, Aliza serves personalized horoscopes for all 12 zodiac signs so you know exactly where your own six-week journey of desire, discovery, and transformation is about to unfold. Venus Retrograde isn’t like those other retrogrades, honey. She’s the cool retrograde. The magical retrograde. The WITCHY retrograde. And by the time she’s finished with us? We may never be the same again. Now that’s tea.🎟️ CHICAGO https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ MINNEAPOLIS https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️🎟️ ALL SHOWS https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️(0:00:00) Weekly Brew(0:07:18) Tarot Card of the Week(0:28:14) Journal Prompt(0:29:30) Aries Horoscope(0:31:53) Taurus Horoscope(0:34:52) Gemini Horoscope(0:38:11) Cancer Horoscope(0:41:34) Leo Horoscope(0:44:27) Virgo Horoscope(0:47:44) Libra Horoscope(0:50:46) Scorpio Horoscope(0:53:27) Sagittarius Horoscope(0:56:29) Capricorn Horoscope(0:58:44) Aquarius Horoscope(1:00:55) Pisces HoroscopeEpisode 51. This episode was recorded on September 21, 2026.
50. Are You COMPATIBLE… Or Just Really Horny?! Answering YOUR BURNING Astrology Questions on Love, Sex, and Exes (It's TEA!)
51:49||Season 1, Ep. 50Are you compatible… or are you just weirdly horny? Welcome to the 50th episode of AstroloTea, divas! To celebrate, Aliza is answering your most BURNING, SALACIOUS, TEA-ROTIC questions about love, sex, soulmates, exes, and everything you’ve always wanted to know about astrological compatibility — but may have been a little too shy to ask. Honey, get ready for a very delicious sip; in fact, it may be an aphrodisiac!🌜 JOIN OUR COVEN MEETING: https://constellation-club.com 🌛🎟️ OCTOBER TOUR: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️Together, we get into the astrology of attraction, chemistry, and relationships — including why certain birth chart placements may be drawn to affairs, what actually matters when comparing two people’s charts, and different ways to understand compatibility. Aliza breaks down the roles of your Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Rising sign synastry, and why a “perfect” astrological match doesn’t necessarily mean a perfect relationship. Plus, we’re talking retrograde romances, getting back together with an ex, the upcoming Venus Retrograde, and whether secretly pulling someone’s birth chart before the first date is harmless curiosity… or completely unhinged. It’s sexy! It’s scandalous! It’s educational! And,of course, it’s tea.🌜 JOIN OUR COVEN MEETING: https://constellation-club.com 🌛🎟️ OCTOBER TOUR: https://alizakelly.com/events 🎟️(0:00:00) Welcome to the Tea Party(00:11:18) Question #1: Does your partner need to be into astrology?(00:17:32) Question #2: Why is the best sex of my life always with the WORST people?(00:25:39) Question #3: What is the difference between a synastry chart and a composite chart?(00:33:08) Question #4: Is it okay to get back together during a retrograde?(00:41:26) Question #5: What matters MOST for compatibility — Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, or Rising?(00:47:22) Question #6: Is checking someone’s birth chart without telling them invasive?Episode 50. This episode was recorded on September 16, 2026.