'Tis the season and Matt has a new pantomime.
This is the story of Keirnocchio, a wooden MP who desperately wants to become a real boy politician.
When you wish upon a Starmer your dreams come true, and even if it means changing your mind, your poll lead will grow faster than your nose.
Plus: Some of our favourite Times columnists join a festive focus group and debate the best Christmas song, and tell us their Christmas day traditions.
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