Breast cancer, mastectomy and breast reconstruction take an emotional toll. Licensed Clinical Social Worker Kelley Kitley joins Dr. Jason Rosenberg to talk about coping, support and intimacy after surgery.
In Part 1 of a two-part conversation on In the BEST of HANDS: The Plastic Surgery Podcast, Dr. Rosenberg and co-host Meredith Reis talk with Kelley Kitley, LCSW, host of The Kelley Kitley Podcast: America’s Social Worker Unfiltered and a mental health expert seen on NBC News, ABC News and CNN.
Kelley shares how to handle the overwhelm after a diagnosis, why it’s okay to pause before deciding, how to support someone with breast cancer and how couples can rebuild intimacy after a mastectomy. Dr. Rosenberg explains why he gives his number to patients’ partners and what a husband’s thank-you note taught him. In Part 2, Kelley returns to discuss facelifts, rhinoplasty and body contouring after GLP-1s.
Learn more about Kelley at kelleykitley.com, listen to The Kelley Kitley Podcast and find her autobiography, MY self: An Autobiography of Survival, Recovery & Empowerment.
Timestamps
00:00 – Intro
02:15 – Why great surgeons are part psychologist
04:15 – Fresh off a breast cancer diagnosis
05:15 – Don’t feel rushed to decide
06:15 – Fight, flight or freeze
07:45 – Feeling alone and breast cancer support groups
08:45 – Information overload and analysis paralysis
09:30 – The five-minute “worst case” writing exercise
12:00 – Helped, hugged or heard?
12:15 – Supporting the partner: “You’re my patient, too”
14:15 – Where doctors and loved ones miss the mark
15:30 – Grief and gratitude after mastectomy
17:00 – Handling insensitive comments
18:15 – Breast reconstruction in a cosmetic surgeon’s office
20:30 – What to say to a friend with breast cancer
21:15 – Why many women delay or skip breast reconstruction
22:45 – Giving yourself permission to be cared for
24:15 – Recovery and playing the long game
26:00 – Intimacy after breast reconstruction
28:15 – A husband’s thank-you card
29:00 – Kelley’s final advice
In this episode, we cover:
Facing a Breast Cancer Diagnosis
Why so many women feel overwhelmed and frozen after a diagnosis
Grounding techniques and writing questions down before appointments
A five-minute exercise for writing out your fears
How to Support Someone With Breast Cancer
Breast cancer support groups, and options for women who’d rather keep things private
Why partners are patients too
Sometimes people need to be heard, not fixed
What to say (and not say) to a friend going through breast cancer
Emotional Recovery After Mastectomy & Reconstruction
Grief and gratitude: two feelings can be true at once
DIEP flap natural tissue reconstruction
Why about two-thirds of women don’t undergo breast reconstruction
Reconstruction as a process: several operations over six months to a year
Intimacy After Mastectomy
Learning your partner’s body in a new way
Sensate focus, couples therapy and sex therapy
How intimacy goes far beyond the bedroom
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Keywords: breast cancer, mastectomy, breast reconstruction, emotional recovery after mastectomy, how to support someone with breast cancer, breast cancer mental health, intimacy after mastectomy, breast cancer support groups, DIEP flap, Kelley Kitley, America’s Social Worker
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