Pissed Off Bartender speed runs the week faster than a Republican congressman can go from "family values" to "no comment." This week: Trump kicks out the press and launches his very own state media channel, Trump and Mamdani finally meet and somehow nobody throws a punch, Trump threatens to annihilate Iran (while his son-in-law is down the hall negotiating with it), a chatbot almost starts World War Three, Xi Jinping gets the red carpet treatment, the Kennedy Center is being held hostage over a name tag, the Arc de Trump gets snipers, Lauren Boebert's office could really use an HR department, ICE shoots a DoorDash driver mid-delivery, and the only ones getting a decent education in this country are raccoons in Mississippi. Buckle up.
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