What would change if women stopped being silent about the hardest parts of their lives?
This week, I sit down with psychologist, author, and advocate Dr. Jessica Zucker, the woman behind the viral #IHadAMiscarriage movement, to discuss her memoir I Had a Miscarriage and her newest book Normalize It: Upending the Silence, Stigma, and Shame That Shape Women's Lives.
TW: Infant loss, pregnancy loss
Jessica shares the story behind her 16-week miscarriage, how it deepened her already decade-long clinical work in women's reproductive and maternal mental health, and why she felt compelled to bring that conversation into the public sphere. We also dig into why so many women default to self-blame after pregnancy loss, how our culture has taught us to minimize our grief, and why avoiding painful emotions can be far more destructive than actually feeling them. Plus these big questions: Can pleasure and grief coexist? What does it mean to truly honor a loss? And why do the people who most deserve joy so often feel the least entitled to it?
Come for the conversation about pregnancy loss and women's shame. Stay for the moment Alex and Jessica unpack why grief avoidance, not grief itself, is what really derails us, and the simple, no-excuse practice Jessica recommends for anyone who doesn't have time to fall apart.
Warm, honest, and full of gentle permission slips, this conversation is for anyone who has ever shrunk their pain to make others more comfortable — which is probably all of us.
Purchase Jessica's Books:
Find Jessica!
Dr. Jessica Zucker's website: drjessicazucker.com
Her Instagram: @IHadAMiscarriage
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Thank you for listening!
Xx, Alex
Timestamps!
Timestamps!
00:00 Welcome and intro to Dr. Jessica Zucker
01:48 The origins of I Had a Miscarriage and Jessica's background in reproductive mental health
03:08 Jessica's own sixteen-week miscarriage while home alone
04:06 Why shame and self-blame follow pregnancy loss
05:28 Miscarriage as a normative outcome, not a curable one
07:14 Alex opens up about her own miscarriage
09:04 Building composite patient stories across both books
11:44 The #IHadAMiscarriage hashtag going viral
14:19 Letting grief wash over you instead of running from it
15:33 Grief avoidance, numbing, and what actually ruins us
16:09 How being the specialist made her own grief harder to navigate
18:57 Two weeks after the book came out: a breast cancer diagnosis
20:43 Small daily check-ins for people without access to therapy
25:01 Grief doesn't shrink, your life just gets bigger
26:08 Naming Olive and the grief rituals she witnessed in Tokyo
30:14 Can pleasure and grief coexist? Joy as resistance
31:35 The backstory of Normalize It and how it came together during cancer
35:20 Why women carry so much shame
38:04 Can shame ever be a useful tool?
39:35 Talking to her son and daughter about bodies, periods, and sex
44:11 The bravery of a text that just says \"thinking of you\"
45:52 Mirror or manifesto?
46:38 Body image after breast cancer
48:29 How Jessica stays hopeful
49:02 Where to find Jessica and her books
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