Episode 66 | Nikki Pears — 5 Years Sober, One Drink, and Back to Square One: Why Putting Down the Bottle Is Just the Beginning
In this raw and deeply honest episode, Jimmy sits down with Nikki Pears — South African-born sober coach, nervous system specialist, and founder of Mommy Is Sober — whose journey through addiction, relapse, rehab, and ultimately real recovery is one of the most layered and instructive stories the podcast has ever featured.
Nikki grew up in Johannesburg feeling lost, socially anxious, and like everyone else had been given a manual for life that she never received. Her first drink at 17 — sneaked in the bushes outside an Italian club — felt like the solution she’d been searching for. The anxiety melted away. She became the life of the party. She finally felt like she belonged. That feeling became the compass she chased for the next two decades.
Through veterinary nursing school in South Africa, where she became the first woman accepted into the Vets’ drinking club and students hooked each other up to saline drips to cure hangovers before morning lectures, to falling in love in Mozambique and building a successful scuba diving centre on the beach — Nikki’s life looked extraordinary from the outside. Beautiful home. Thriving business. A loving husband who knew when to stop. Three kids. And inside, a hole in her soul that no amount of alcohol, success, or sunshine could fill.
The drinking got worse. The rules — only wine, only after six, only on Fridays — never lasted. She missed her flight to rehab three times because she needed one last party first. She eventually checked herself in for what she thought would be four weeks. She stayed for six. And it worked — for two years. Then she stopped going to meetings, decided she’d cracked it, and white-knuckled the next three years in a state of furious, emotionally volatile, exhausting dry sobriety — still carrying every unprocessed feeling, just without the numbing agent. After five years, she picked up a drink. Within weeks it was worse than before rehab.
What finally worked — and what makes Nikki’s story genuinely different — was going inward. Nervous system regulation. Learning that she’d spent her entire life in fight-or-flight mode, suppressing every emotion since childhood, and that sobriety without inner healing is just white-knuckling in slow motion. Now four years into what she calls her real recovery, Nikki coaches women online through @mommyissober, helping them regulate their nervous systems so alcohol loses its grip — not through willpower, but through genuine inner peace.
You can find Nikki on instagram at:
https://www.instagram.com/mommyissober?igsh=MWh1Zno3ZXUyc2hlOA==
And Nikkis website is here:
https://mommyissober.live/
The Surrender Experiment - Michael A. Singer
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Alcohol Explained - William Porter
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This Naked Mind - Annie Grace
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A Million Little Pieces - James Frey
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